Authors note

I should have mentioned this in the last chapter but the girl who is Assassins master, Iori Mutou is from the manga Zerozaki Soushiki's Humanity Test by Nishio Ishin (the same guy who made Bakemonogatari and Madaka Box).

Disclaimer I do not own Fate Stay Night, Fate Hollow Ataraxia, Zerozaki Soushiki's Humanity Test, or any of the servants.

Chapter 2: To Wait

Dad always said to be patient. As a Hunter, me and my brother have done many jobs were patients was necessary. From having to wait in the Impala for several days to knowing the right cards to play when gambling, you learned to keep your cool.

I can admit that I have lost my head in certain rare cases, but hey who hasn't, right. So facing the crushing reality that was the wreckage of my beloved Impala, naturally like many others I have only one response. "SON OF A BITCH!"

Shirou Could only sit and stare at the new stranger before him. "No, no, no! Hang on Baby I'll get you fixed up so don't worry. Gah! Son of a bitch!"

Well at least compared to the rest of the night he isn't trying to kill me. "I'm going to kill whoever did this!"

Well at least not yet. But then something tore his attention from the mashed car and before Shirou knew it he was being carried away behind the car just before yellow flashes flew past their heads. Impacts started slamming into the car leaving holes and scorch marks.

"Ah, you son of a bitch I'm warning you I'll tear you limb from limb if you keep that up." Saber roared, and then the shooting stopped?! Saber turned to me and said "Wow that a first, someone who actually stops shooting when you ask."

Outside the big guy shouts at us, "Unknown servant, I am Lancer and my purpose here is to recover the boy. If you are his servant than both of you come forth so we may do battle in earnest! If however you hold no relation then I command you to hand over the boy and leave this area at once!"

Saber again turned to me again then asked "It a little late to ask but are you my master? Cause if you are, then I wanna know what you want to do about Mr. Flash stick over there." Pointing at my hand we both see some kind of mark tattooed on my left hand that looked like a sword with wings for the hilt. "When did that get their?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

I've had it, standing up I walk around the immobile automobile, out the shed and stand before Lancer. Saber rushes to me and with a face that all but said I was an idiot and yelled "Are you crazy he's gonna!? Damn!" turning to face Lancer, he tried to put on a composed and threatening look, but failed looking more like he was squinting so he can see the picture in a 3D image.

"So we do battle then." Lancer prepared his staff. Saber drawing from his leather coat a double barrel shotgun and a bowie knife stood ready to fight "Come get us you giant son of a bitch!"

"Stop!" I shout, and then both of them stare at me. "Please, just tell me what it you want." Standing their looking at Shirou then looking at each other, Saber and Lancer stood there waiting for the other to make a move.

"You idiot I can't believe you got me lost!" While his Master continued to yell at him for problems that are obviously not his fault, Archer continued to retort back. "Well excuse me for just pointing out the obvious, but seriously if you don't know the way then you should just say so. No reason to just keep running around like picken, fuh."

Rin began pointing her finger again, Archer putting up his hand "Ok, ok, how about we get to your little crushes house before it's too late, huh does that sound like a plan." Rin putting away her finger only nodded as they turned around and headed to the Emiya house. "What's a picken?"

Well after one mess followed by another we three, we happy three, we band of brothers continue peacefully down the street, not.

First I am not happy, secondly it not three but four we just can't see Assassin since he went ghost or something.

Lastly for reasons I do not care to answer we aren't even close to walking down the street since we were in a car, that Soushiki found, which Assassin broke into and hotwired to start, and which is now being driven by my new little (or big) brother Hitoshiki Zerozaki at over 90 miles an hour weaving between other cars because 'it was cool'. Well at least we were brothers, or at least two brothers, one sister, and some kind of spirit.

After being saved by Assassin from the marionettes, Soushiki and Hitoshiki decide that moment to find me and misunderstand the situation. Believing the Assassin was trying to kill me, they attacked him.

With Soushiki slashing at Assassin with his scissors and Hitoshiki using two knives to try and stab him, Assassin stepped back on the trash can lid by his feet knocking it up and catching it like a skateboard blocked the incoming attacks. After blocking several strikes, the three jump away from each other, Soushiki by the opening of the alley, Hitoshiki somehow hanging onto the wall with his knives, and Assassin jumping next to me while dropping the Swiss cheese lid.

Soushiki was the first to talk "I must say I certainly never expected to meet a killer of you caliber in this rather peaceful city, tell me what is your name?"

"Who cares about his name Sou onii, let's just kill him and get it out of the way, after all he did threaten our new sister right?"

"True, but as I've tried to tell you over and over, when you kill you should always show a certain level of respect."

"Che, you and those test of yours really are pointless, and like I say 'Just kill'."

Assassin seeming like he had enough interrupted them. "You know, as fascinating as your debate on the philosophy between killers and murders is, I'm sure our creepy guest above us would care for something, hmm, a bit more bloody."

At that we all look up to see a figure staring down at us then jump down landing away from us. "Well look at this 1, 2, 3, 4, Zerozaki's here just ready for me to take your heads."

At that we all stare at Assassin in shock. Him a Zerozaki no way, no wait maybe it just like me, after all it not like were related by blood but rather by bloodshed. He must have the disposition, the disposition to kill.

The new arrival continued "I must say while I am curious as to why you all…"

"Die"

The three of them immediately charge the ranting Idiot, poor fool he never stood a chance. So as I stood watching Soushiki tear into him with giant scissors, Hitoshiki's stab with numerous knives, and Assassin ramming him with the open end of the trash can severing his chest from the rest of his body.

So as we stood there, blood everywhere and some guys mutilated chest in a can, the rest of him scattered around (except his head which Hitoshiki was tossing around) Soushiki broke the silence. "Since it seems you were protecting my little sister from that hitman rather than harming her, I think we can sit and listen to why your here."

After a long discussion of magic, Epic Heroes, the Holy Grail Wars, and wishes, and 2 weeks later we find ourselves here in this car. "I got to say this is some car, you sure got great taste Sou." Assassin commented becoming visible in the backseat next to me.

"Yes, though I'm more surprised at this car, a foreign car like this just lying around, got to say, some find. Whoever the owner was sure had great taste." Soushiki said

Hitoshiki replied "Yeah, totally, to find a 2006 SRT Dodge Charger here of all places, major score." 'But we stole it!'

Rin swore under her breath staring at the scene around her. Scorch marks and a large hole in the roof of the shed made it looked like a battlefield. This is bad, Shirou was gone. "Lancer must have gotten here first. He's dead."

Falling to her knees, Rin couldn't get her thoughts straight. 'Why did this happen. Why him, why did he have to get dragged into this this mess, damn it!'

"He's not dead." Archer said.

"What!?" Rin shouted barely holding back her tears. "Master, look around do you see a body, or any blood for that matter?" Rin looked around. 'Hey, yeah where's the body. Other than some damage to the area there was no sign that Shirou was involved. ' "If you remember back at the school when Lancer first killed the kid, there was a lot of blood from the hole on his back when he got shot."

Getting back on her feet, she noticed Archer going around looking with calm and calculating eyes as opposed to his usual goofy attitude. "But now there is no sign that the kid got hit by his attack. No blood or a body."

They walked into the house, and I asked "He could have taken the body with him." Archer still looking around walked down the hall. "No, I don't think so. If he had the time to take the body, then he would have taken steps to clean up some of the mess he made chasing him down, like maybe burning down the house."

Stopping at the doorway to the living room, Archer continued "It started in here, some kind of electric shots were fired, 'he took a shooting pose aiming at wall the shattered TV laid.' but missed and hit this television set causing it to explode. Take a wiff, you smell that, it's smoke. The kid probably used the smoke and sparks from the small explosion as cover to run down this hall."

We walked down the hall when I notice a hole in the screen door ahead. "As he ran he must have grabbed an umbrella here, 'Pointing to the wall' then kept running till he reached this screen door and jumped thru."

I finally had to speak out. "There no way you can tell that there was an umbrella here, or that he picked one up while he ran."

Suddenly he put something on my head. It was a greenish cap with a revolving glass that seemed to extend forward, pulling the glass in front of my eye, he pointed at a part of the wall. "If you look here with this magnifying glass you should see small drag marks on the ground."

I kneel down and like he said there were really small scratches on the floor that look like they were made by a dull tip being dragged. "Master don't forget I'm Archer nothing gets past me. 'he pulled out a large dragon pipe and began blowing bubbles.' The umbrella is outside really banged up, he must have started to put up a fight then and there and managed for a bit, but soon got overwhelmed and was struck hard enough to blast him thru the doors of the shed, after which I can't tell exactly what happened but from the looks of it, that black car in the shed dropped in thru the roof."

Dropped in thru the roof? "Uh, I'm sorry, but why do you say that?"

Squeezing into the blocked shed Archer pointed around the wheels of the car "See how the wheels are bent like that, the only way it could happen is either a heavy weight on top or a high fall. If it was a heavy weight, the roof of the car would be depressed. Also see all this debris underneath the car, it's from the roof. If the hole had been blown with the car already inside then a lot of it would be on the roof not underneath. Also judging from the size of the hole, it would fit the size of the car perfectly if it came from above." Archer then sat down leaning on the car. "While I don't know why a car came in thru the roof, unless the driver got lost looking for a better parking space?… Right 'He said with a dejected look'. Well what I do know is that he and someone else took cover behind this car while they took heavy fire, and from the looks of these marks, it was Lancers weapon."

"How do you know there was someone else?" Glancing to his side he answered "Because there are two smudges on the side of the dusty car, one is from Shirou who has a small back, and another from someone who is bigger with a broader back."

Stepping out of the shed Archer continued "At some point the two hiding behind the car slipped away and are now somewhere out there, either still being chased by a psycho with a laser stick or caught going who knows where."

That last comment was the last bit of motivation she needed.

"Ahhhhhh! That's it, Archer get ready. We're storming Edefelt's mansion and forcing her to call off her attack dog." Watching her run off Archer could only chase after her. "Though I'm more worried about whose servant came in the flying car? And what was that sound I heard in the shed?"

In a modest hotel in the middle of Fuyuki City, Caren Hortensia finished her daily prayers. Picking herself up, she steps up and closed in on her silent roommate. Caster was sitting at the dining table drawing again in her sketch book.

Looking around dozens of similar sized removed pages littered the top of the table and the walls around her. A variety of pictures were drawn on each of them ranging from a single person to savage images that almost looked like hell plaster itself onto the page.

"Master, the next Servant, Saber has been summoned."

"Good, all this waiting around was beginning to try my patients. So Caster, what is this one's identity?" Passing her several hand drawn pictures, Caren began to look over them to see if anything looked familiar. So far she's looked at what seemed a hundred pictures all showing stranger and more confusing images she had never seen before.

Images such as Pyramids with unusual birds flying around in pitch darkness, and a classroom filled with girls sharing the same but different faces. It appeared these pictures were no different, a picture of two men drinking sitting on a black car was not very helpful. Looking around, she recalled some of the other strange pictures she had of the other servants.

One was of a large wild looking man with beautiful silver colored eyes being hunted across a frozen wasteland. Another was of a tall man with no eyes at all ruthlessly stabbing into the mangled body of some unknown monster. She wondered if the servants summoned really were heroes, it was hard to tell from what she was seeing.

The image she was first shown of Archer was the weirdest. They were of a teen boy? with a ponytail lying on his/her stomach and no pants, surrounded by candles holding a rose in between his teeth. What was just as strange is that they were two completely different pictures of Archer. The other was of a regal looking man with red eyes clad in glorious gold armor, his arms crossed over his chest with a wall of swords behind him.

For some reason, she calmed down when she saw that the master of the gold Archer was a priest with nothing but black covering his heart like a parasite, 'Obviously my father but still is troubling to know.'

The other Masters were all girls ranging from prideful and flamboyant to lonely and disturbed.

Caster refused to draw a picture of herself 'Perhaps she's just shy.' Leaving the newly summoned Saber and his Master.

Looking at the new picture Caster just handed her of Saber she expected to see a knight from a story book or a king in royal colors, seeing the truth she almost couldn't help but do a double take to check.

Indeed nothing like she expected. Rather than someone with a noble visage she saw dirty looking (but handsome) grease monkey hunched over tinkering with the engine of some piece-of-crap car.

Putting the Saber picture down Caren asked "Caster is this correct?" she blankly responded "Yes. I also have the Master drawn, if you wish to see." Placing a picture of a red haired (and also handsome) teen with honest looking eye. She noted that he was tinkering with an air condition like his Servant. "What is this, team mechanic?" Caster tilted her head and stared at Caren. After a while she replied "You recall that Masters tend to summon heroes similar to them, especially if they do not use a catalyst."

As Caren thought of this, she began to wonder how Caster and she were similar?

Putting that thought aside she began to think, Even with so many clues given she was completely incapable of discerning the identities of any servants even her own. At most she could figure the ethnicity or era of three servants. Archer wore Chinese clothing and sword, Lancer appeared to be from ancient Egypt based on the symbol on his forehead, and Assassin appeared to be a barbarian from medieval Europe. This War has barely begun and already it promised to be a carnival of events filled with the strange and the exciting.

"I guess we'll wait and see what happens."

I can't believe that happened. It was right here and I remember precisely.

It.

Was.

Right.

Here.

Normally when someone has their car stolen they panic, they bawl, but most of all they get mad. Naturally I do none of the above, after all how can I when I'm missing a few important pieces.

I can't say the same for my Master who is yelling and cursing at me for me being a useless servant who can't match up to his supposed grand level. Damn it, this would be so much easier if my original Master had decided to keep to her responsibility's, but whatever he had more pressing issues to contend with than some kids squeamishness.

One being that he can't seem to call back his Noble Phantasm.

The Charger, containing most of my weapons and tools, Noble Phantasm or not, should have return to me when I call, but it doesn't. Without it, I can't bring out a majority of my equipment in the trunk. That leaves me with Rubys' knife, my Taurus 9mm with one extra clips of silver, holy water blessed, iron tipped hollow-point ammunition, a silver pocket knife, and my Iron Claw blade (which I can't remember the last time I ever used).

All in all, useless. Unless I used one of my true Noble Phantasms (which I couldn't because of this useless, powerless Master), I was screwed. While most of my equipment can harm a Servant. I would need access to the rest of my weapons when confronting more than one Servant.

For the time being I should shut the idiot up before he draws any unwanted attention and find a place to lay low while searching for the Charger. Regardless, I've got a good starting point. First the Charger is a rare foreign model, here in Japan it will stick out in a crowd.

Secondly the car was a Noble Phantasm, meaning that the only people capable of taking it were either a powerful magus with magic capable of breaking or severing contracts, or a Servant with some kind of plunder ability. Otherwise the car would have returned to him with the bastard inside.

At present neither option was very appealing. Best case scenario he finds the car and kills whatever brainless magus thought they could get away with his car. Worst case, it was in the hands of an enemy Servant, which meant he would have to go under armed and unprepared to fight and get it back.

"Damn it you worthless piece of shit Servant, you better find that car! I am not walking anywhere unless it's in that car! Hey are you listening to me, hey Rider!" "Shut up. We better get moving, Master."

More Authors notes

Just to clear up some things in this chapter. First there is a picken, obviously it fictional from the show. Secondly about Riders weapons, they are canon except for the bullets, I just made them up, they have a point but I will explain that later. Lastly starting next chapter I will be posting servant stats minus certain spoiler Noble Phantasms at the end.