A/N: This chapter's style is somewhat different to the last and probably has some kind of Australian humor in it. It's okay if you don't get it. I'm not sure why this is a different style, but I went on a camp the day after I posted the last chapter and came back yesterday. That probably has something to do with it. School starts tomorrow so the wait between chapters might be a bit spread out. I'm sorry. Alternatively, this chapter could be called "How To Kill A Dalek."
Tosh was woken by the sound of a tinny, no, not tinny, but electronically distorted voice. It was funny how the half-asleep mind could pick up details like that without ever wondering why she was being woken up by an electronically altered voice.
A few moments later, when she had properly woken up, she wondered, and the conclusions she came to in moments were not good. Having scrambled for the lamp that resided on her bedside table, she accidentally knocked it off, though the light still worked.
Standing, or sitting or whatever the hell it was doing in front of her was a dalek.
Similarly, Ianto wondered why a metallic voice was waking him up but unlike Tosh, he didn't realise it was electronically altered. Like Tosh, he knocked his lamp off his bedside table too, though he got lost in his train of thought about tungsten removers and whether the bleach he used in the hub would be suitable to clean the mess the metal alien had surely left on his carpet. Wait - he thought, - alien. With that, he swore.
Owen woke up in a foul mood, already swearing because of the headache his hangover caused him. He didn't realise what had woken him up until he stubbed his toe, cursed some more, and looked up. He swore even more.
Gwen woke up primarily to a frantic husband, secondarily to a strange alien. Like Owen, she cussed rapidly.
On the other hand, when Jack woke up to a dalek standing over his bed, he acted on instinct and rolled over, grabbing his gun from the bedside table, and, not bothering to turn on the light, nailed it in the eyestalk. Before attempting to flirt with it. After all, it's only the live daleks that want to commit mass genocide.
Not altogether thankfully, the members of Torchwood only slept naked if there was someone with them, and seeing as four out of five of them were alone that night, the various daleks were not confronted with seeing skin out of the shell. Except the one who turned up at Gwen's house. He died of shock after seeing Rhys running round with nothing on.
The three remaining teammates whose daleks unfortunately did not die, were shepherded half-asleep out into the cold pre-dawn Welsh air, where they promptly woke up. Despite daleks not having cars, they were remarkably good at traveling unnoticed, something that was probably helped by the fact that they floated down the closest sewer hole in proximity to their respective flats.
Gwen, having a husband on the verge of having a panic attack and an unidentifiable foreign object in her flat, naturally, called Jack. Jack, having nearly been attacked by an easily identified dalek in his bedroom, naturally, tried to call Ianto. With Jack unavailable, Gwen was on the verge of having a panic attack, though she still had the smart idea of taking the unidentifiable foreign object's head-piece off. On sight of the dead dalek-in-flesh, she immediately had a panic attack. With that, the Cooper-Williams household dissolved into anarchy.
While being ushered along the dark, dank sewers in nothing but her pajamas by a mysterious alien with obviously malicious intent, Tosh figured that the machine shoving her forward was the only type of intelligent life she'd see for a while, so she started telling it about the works of Alan Turing.
Which turned out to be quite helpful, seeing as unbeknownst to the dalek or her, Davros used Turing's work as the basis for the dalek's computation system, as everyone from Earth does for every computing system. The dalek, recognising the basis of its computers coming from the mouth of a human, fell into a deep contemplation of what the dalek morales stood for if humans invented the basis for their systems and were thus superior. It became catatonic and Tosh just walked away.
Stumbling drunkenly alongside the moving metal monstrosity, Owen had the good fortune to accidentally breathe into its face. Unfortunately for the dalek, its air filters were running at full bore, trying to purify the stinking, stale sewer air into pure oxygen. The sudden burst of alcoholic carbon dioxide released almost directly into the air filters overwhelmed them completely, and they broke with a bang and a spark. The dalek took one last shuddering, contaminant-filled breath before it died.
Owen was too hungover to notice, and stumbled into a weevil colony.
Ianto was being hustled along in only his boxers and a t-shirt, and as he was not hungover, he felt the cold acutely. He wrapped his arms around himself and drew breaths in short shuddering gasps.
Ianto used his rather intelligent brain and thought. After around five minutes of thinking, which was all he could really afford, - who knew how close he was to a weevil colony or wherever the alien was taking him - he had a plan. It was a pretty atrocious plan and probably wouldn't work and he'd likely just get suckered along by the alien thing again, but it was the only one he had.
After a couple more steps, he pushed it over and ran.
He had never been good with direction unless he had a compass or a map. Seeing as he had neither of those things, Ianto was horrible with direction and utterly lost. Still, he staggered around the tunnels, hoping to stumble upon an exit.
At home, on his bedside table, his mobile phone rang.