Chapter 2: Detour to Rural Scotland

So the gang set off for the Three Broomsticks. One by one they apparated and felt the blackness pressing in around them, consuming their wiggly, apparating bodies. Harry still hadn't quite the gotten the hang of it yet, so he had to hold on to Ginny's elbow to apparate.

"Hey bloke! What're you holding me sister's elbow for?" Ron asked.

"I can't apparate on my own!" yelled Harry. "I need a nice, freckled Weasley 'bow to guide me!"

"If you don't let go I'll put your rump in a dumpster!" shouted Ron.

"You want me to get splinched!? Do you want half of me to end up in some dangerous other dimension? And after I saved you all from the Dark lord voldy no less!!"

Harry and Ginny landed alone in a corn patch in rural Scotland.

"Where are we, Ginny? I thought we were going to the Three Broomsticks!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh I thought you said rural Scotland!!" Ginny responded, slapping herself on the forehead!

"Why would we be going to rural Scotland, my little Ginaroo?"

"I'M GINROY!! ….Ginroy! ………..Ginroy."

"Well can't you just apparate us to the Three Broomsticks now that we know where we're going?"

"Actually Harry, I haven't told anyone this, but the only place I can apparate to is rural Scotland. I really thought I had it this time, but rural Scotland is the only place I can picture clearly enough in my noggin. You see Harry, when I was just a young strapping lass, my great uncle Newton used to fly me out to the Scottish countryside on his magic polyester kilt of despair. One day, the magical kilt got out of control while we were flying atop it, and hurtled me into the cornfields, where I had to subsist off of foul Scottish corn for a month. One of those mornings, I awoke to find I was being trampled by a flock of sheep. Oh how they Baaa'd. Actually Harry, every time I look at you, I see those sheep coming right at me! It's like being 7 again! Oh that dreaded memory, how it plagues me! Harry, why must you be so sheepy!? I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU! We could have been together. We could have started a life with each other, you and me against the world."

"Wait, Ginny, calm down. You don't love me anymore?"

"No Harry, I do. But we're like a boat on the stormiest of seas. The waves are a-rockin' the boat, and it's like how many of these can you take? How many times can I wake up to a flock of sheep smiling at me, looking into my eyes! You have a wild heart, Harry, but the demeanor of a flock of the woolliest sheep in all Scotland. I can't go on living this way any longer. I must leave you here in this field with your brethren."

"Well, how are you going to get anywhere?" asked Harry. "I thought you could only apparate to-"

But before Harry had even finished blabbering, Ginny turned on the spot and was gone.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were with Seamus Finnagan, waiting for Ginny and Harry.

"Where ever could they be?" asked Hermoine.

"They'll be here. I'LL HAVE A GORDO'S GHASTLY GRAPEADE!!" Ron yelled as Rosmerta the waitress passed by.

Ginny appeared right outside the door, and stumbled into the bar like a tipsy gopher in mid-June.

"GINNY!" yelled Seamus, who secretly had a crush on Ginny, unbeknownst to the rest of the gang. "Where have you guys been? Where's Harry?"

Ginny looked upset. "Oh it was terrible, guys. Harry came at me with those big sheepy eyes, that wooly smile!! I had to get away. I left him amongst the corn with his brethren where he belongs. He'll be happier this way."

"Wait," said Ron, "You left him in a cornfield in rural Scotland? He got his apparating permit taken away for accidentally merging with Cornelius Fudge, and he can hardly do it anyways! How is he going to get-"

"Ah yes, I'LL HAVE A BARDO'S BABBLING BLUEBERRADE!!" yelled Ginny as Rosmerta came back with Ron's drink.

"Right," said Hermione. "Let's get to business. We came here to figure out how to stop Neville. This is going to be tough."
"I'm still a little skeptical," said Ron. "Neville wouldn't hurt a fly. In fact, one time he cast the Cruciatus curse on me for killing a fly!"

Hermione didn't look convinced. "Well, wait until you hear what I read in the Daily Prophet today!"