A/N Hey everyone, just a for-warning this story isn't exactly along the lines of the actual OC. All the characters are still the same so Marissa, Seth, Summer and Ryan, except that Ryan was adopted as soon as he was born from his mother in the actual show (his last name is Cohen), as normal so the four grew up together everything that happened in the show has already happened except as I said the fact that Ryan was already there and Marissa did have a fling with Volchok but instead of Marissa getting back together with him after she visited Berkeley she got back together with Ryan. So, she didn't leave with Jimmy at the end of season 3. And Volchok was killed in a drink driving accident BEFORE he found Marissa that night. But all of these things will be explained through memories. This story WILL be sad at times and a little angst. So yeah I think that covers everything for now if you have any question don't hesitate to ask and all constructive criticism is welcome.

THIS CHAPTER IS RATED MA 18+, IT IS VERY GRAPHIC AND NOT FOR A YOUNG AUDIENCE.

You swear you recall nothing at all

As I wake from my night terrors and I look around my dorm room. I am still sweating and breathing heavily, as I turn to get my phone off the bedside table I notice that it is now 3:30 am, which means I got at least and hour and a half sleep, which is the most I've had all week. I flip open my phone and find the number I want.

"Hello?"

"Hey Marissa"

"Hey Summer"

"I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"No- no I was awake, I couldn't sleep"

"Me neither"

"Night terrors?"

"You too"

There is a long silence

"Marissa, I am so scared"

"I know me too---- was it the same dream?"

"Yeah, you too?"

"Yeah"

"I wish I could go back to my 4th birthday"

"Me too"

"Um I think I am going to hope in the shower, I'm all sweaty I just---"

"Needed to talk to someone, I know me too, when you called me I was about to call you."

"Bye Coop, love you"

"Bye Sum, love you too"

I hang up the phone, grab my towel and jump in the shower. After letting the cool water run over my body I jump out the shower, getting dressed I turn the TV on it's a news update, I sit in front of the TV the news reporter begins to speak,

Breaking news now, one of the 14 year old girls taken at Venice Beach in Southern California has been found dead after 7 days missing, her family is pleading for any information to be brought forward. The girls' friend who was taken too is still missing. . . . . .

My thoughts go to that night-- - - - - - - - - -

Marissa and I are wandering along the beach outside Holly's beach house. We're supposed to be at the party but the last place that either of us fell like being is there with everybody.

"Sorry to drag you away from the party-"

"No, it's okay Sum I really don't feel like being there either after that rumour she started; I really don't care about her 14th birthday"

"Yeah, me neither"

We might not want to be at the party but that doesn't mean we don't want the alcohol, before leave Marissa and I grabbed a bottle of Vodka each and a bag of pot that Luke had pre-rolled for us. We continue to walk along the beach getting farther and farther away from everyone. We continue to walk and these two guys come up behind us.

"So what are two young ladies doing walking along the beach this late, you know you could get hurt"

"Why do you care?"

"We don't, we want to be the ones to hurt you"

As he says that they grab us from behind and drag us behind one of the really large rocks on the beach so that if anyone is around they won't see us. I look over to Marissa's face, that look will never leave me. After screaming and kick we both ran out of energy. The next thing I know the guy on top of Marissa knocks her head and she becomes unconscious. The guy on top of me talks while pulling out a gun-

"My friend here likes it better when they don't fight back, I on the other hand like them to remember how good I was"

I look over to see the guy push up Marissa's skirt and take off her underwear.

"No don't do that--- LEAVE HER ALONE!"

It's like I am watching a movie and I wish that Ryan and Seth were here. I watch as he undoes his pants to show himself; he spreads her legs and pushes himself inside her, I can't watch anyone. The guy on top of me speaks again.

"You know why else we do it like this, because my girl is more concerned with her unconscious friend than herself, and fighting back."

I look down and see that he has got my underwear off and he is now pushing himself inside me too.

I try to get him out of me but he's too strong.

"See I told you I was good"

I have tried so hard to forget; I did until the story of those girls in Venice Beach. I feel myself shaking I have tried so hard to forget but I can't anymore.

You swear you recall nothing at all
That could make you come back down
You made up your mind to leave it all behind
Now you're forced to fight it out

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
But it's following you

You left something undone, it's now your rerun
It's the one you can't erase
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight
To put a smile back on your face

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away
You fall away

Something I've done that I can't outrun
Something I've done that I can't outrun
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run
But there's something you've said that can't be undone

And you fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you

You fall away
It's following you

You fall

-I WARNED YOU-

The lyrics at the end of this post are Fall Away by The Fray. So it's a little more angst than I let on and I know that this chapter was VERY full on but please read the rest of the story no other chapters are like this. R&R Shar-Lyn