After the awful news Kunzite had given him, Mamoru couldn't sleep. He hadn't been this upset, since his parents death,

no...

this is worse...

his parents were gone forever, and he somehow coped with that,the burden of that awful day was always soothend by her.,and now, it's another thing that the love of his life , very much well and alive,which bought so much joy, happiness and sadness, tough and beautiful times was fading fast from his life. How did he manage to destroy them? He knew he loved her, he always had,what went wrong? How could he have let those things happen. His mind raced to that fatefull day...

****FLASHBACK****

„Sweetheart, please just reason with me here, i know you work hard for us, our lives i really do, but just one night out? Is that too much to ask?"

„Usa, please you know what happens when we don't meet dead lines, the reasults can be catastrofic.."

oh how she hated when he spoke to her like that, the way of the... yyhhhh...doctor.

„i never knew you would be so self absorbed, don't tell me you work so hard you wouldn't have time for your fiance for at least 3 hours..."

this was the last straw, she's responsible for all of this,always nagging,always thinking that he didn't care anymore, if only she could understand, his mind was racing with anger.

„For GOD sakes Usagi!.."

Usagi? Now even the cute nickname's gone? She thought as the sound of his booming voice scared her a little

„how can you be so blind, you think that i don't love you any more? This whole thing is for you, to be proud an.."

„I'AM DAMM IT PROUD! BUT I NEED A LITTLE HUMANITY IN MY LIFE! Mamoru, can't YOU see what's happening? Are YOU that blind?"

„I DO SEE AND I'M FED UP WITH YOUR CONSTANT NAGGING!" he pushed her to the side letting her fall down on to the sofa, she crashed into it banging her head on the wooden knob of the couchs side , a bump and small cut forming on the side of her head. He stopped dead, and turned to her just realizing what he had done. He did that? he hurt her? Tears fell down Usagi's cheeks.

„H...how could you, i did nothing wrong, i just wanted...you... just for a little bit..." She stood up and walked past him, now her anger melting and sadness overtaking her voice.

„i never thought i'd see the day that my once perfect picture of you would become a muddy puddle in my mind, my God i had such huge respect and love towards you, i don't know what i'm feeling now, your just a shadow of my true love..Mamoru I..."

„Usako, please i'm sorry i never wanted to hurt you and.." she put her and up in the air to stop him from talking , a little trickle of blood slowly oozing down her cheek, combining with her tired to come closer to wipe it away but she was faster, she swiped her hand over the cut and tears cleaning they away clumsily, her hand shaking.

„you showed me enough, i'm just a thing to you, an object, well not any more, don't worry i'll let you be and you can have a normal life, without the interruption of some lame , pathetic, stupid, who doesn't understand girl."

Mamoru wanted to speak but nothing came out, his mouth was drier then the Sahara desert. He just stared blankly into her eyes, those eyes he loved some much, yet now he saw the pain he put them though, oh how he despised himself, and lowthed his being-she was right he was horrible, she just wanted closier, he didn't deserve her, her love. How stupid of him he thought to himself, starting to feel he was loosing her, she never really nagged him, it was somthing he constantly told himself.

„Usako, darling , please forgive me, i'm begging you"

„Mamo-chan...please don't -this is only for 5 minutes and you'll be absorbed in the madness of your work again, i truly don't blame you for that, this is the thing you love..."

„BUT I LOVE YOU!" he shouted hoping she would finally realize the mistake she was about to do, he dropped to his knees and hugged her by the waist, pulling her closly to him. She looked down at him, tears now pouring down her face

„I love you too, but i don't intend to be your misfortune..."

„but your not, please, Usako, please..." a tiny tear rolled down his cheek...wait,what? a tear?why? He never cried,guys don't cry do they? he started to loose his sanity.

„please, please, please..." he kept repeating to her, hugging her constantly. She broke down in sobs and fell to her knees too.

„Mamoru we both know the time has come, we're suffocating each other, we can't go on like this, the longer we wait the harder it's going to be, i can't belive what i'm saying, but Mamoru, we have to end it...tonight..." he looked into her face, shaking his head

„no, no this is a mistake, Usako i never felt so low for doing this to you, please forgi..."

She cupped his cheek and smiled weakly „i do... but..." with that she leaned forward and kissed him passionatly. Mamoru felt the heat coming from her lips, those sweet honey flavoured lips he loved so muchAt that point both of them felt a little bit of that missing feeling. She backed away and stood up and walked to the door she turned and looked at him one last time.

„Goodbye..." and with that she walked out and never came back.

********END OF FLASH BACK*********

Mamoru stood on the balcony absorbing the horrid memory. How he hated himself for not doing anything back then, run after her , plead , beg they both knew they lost each other that day, because of his stubborn self. He grabbed the balcony railing sqeezing it in anger, as tears ran down his face.

„i won't make this mistake again, Usako I will show you...i will have you back" he whispered into the night