Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the Universe he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write solely for my pleasure and I don't make any money with this story.

Chapter Two: Pity

„It's safe, it's dry", Juugo said. „We can stay here."

They were standing at the bottom of an abandoned quarry, only partly yet reclaimed by nature. Birches had already grown to a height of two or even three meters, but they were still bare, and the ground was covered with grass and all kinds of bushes and low herbs, and now, in spring, with flowers.

Sasuke felt tired, or else he would not have noticed this. Both the encounter with his brother's kagebunshin and the discussion with Suigetsu had exhausted him, and he did not want to think anything this evening, neither about his brother or anything else. Just about these white flowers that seemed to be everywhere. They were pretty, he thought.

His crew collected firewood, got water from a small brook nearby, prepared the meal. His only contribution was to light the fire with his katon.

On other days he would help. Today they accepted his exhaustion as an excuse.

They did not talk while eating, but when they had finished, Suigetsu began to speak:

„We need to talk", he said. „We have enough of the way you lead the team, telling us off as if we were little children. We have given you proof of our loyalty more than once, and we have also shown that we are able to think for ourselves and come up with ideas of our own about how to further your plans."

„I have never doubted this", Sasuke answered, stupefied by the sudden accusations. „You were intelligent and resourceful when you gathered information about Akatsuki."

„Not only this. Karin also tore up your shirt in order to confuse the Leaf. I wonder whether you even noticed."

I did notice that she kept my ruined clothes, Sasuke thought.

„And she warned us when we were pursued by Konoha", Suigetsu continued, and Sasuke wondered when he had begun to speak of her in such a favorable way.

„Even though you had only told her to buy some provisions, nothing else. They would have found us long ago if she had obeyed you to the word. So don't tell us off again as you did today!"

„And another thing", Karin added. „Don't expect us to obey you when obeying would mean to let you get killed."

Sasuke swallowed. They had a point with their complaints: All three of them had been very loyal from the very beginning of the mission. And still he was angry: A crew that would rather disobey him than get him killed was not what he had been looking for when he had chosen his team. He had only wanted them to lend him their power, and let him be in control... he did not want any complications because his crew decided that it was necessary to discuss things.

I would not have had to leave Konoha for this, he thought.

„And now", Suigetsu continued, „we would like to know a bit more about your plans and motivations."

„You know them already: To hunt down and take out Uchiha Itachi."

„Well, yes. But you see, if we are to follow you and trust you, we have to know some more. We have to know why you have chosen that aim for yourself. Taking it for granted that you are not simply a great hero who has decided to free the world of some really bad guys: First Orochimaru, then this Deidara, and now Itachi."

„No", Sasuke replied. „The only person I really want to take out is Itachi. The others simply attacked me and got killed in the process. Besides, I did not kill Deidara. He killed himself with this suicide jutsu of his."

„Oh, I forgot. You are a Leaf ninja after all, who won't kill anyone."

„No, I am not. There is just no need for me to kill anyone besides Itachi."

„And why him, if I may ask?"

„He is my brother."

„Yes, this is quite a common reason for wanting to kill a man."

„He killed all my family, except me and himself of course. I want to take revenge for this."

The words felt strangely cold as he spoke them. They were the normal, common reasoning, the words he had told himself and others more than once in order to explain and justify his plans for revenge. They contained the moral he had been raised by, not only by his clan, when they were still alive, but also by his teachers and the other grown-ups of Konoha. They were the moral of the Leaf and of the entire Shinobi world (though of course his clan, being a clan of strong shinobi, had put more stress on this moral than the average person in Konoha): If one of your family, or your friends, or any other precious person gets killed, you have to avenge them and prove that it was just bad luck that had kept you from protecting them.

None of this had anything to do with the despair he had felt when Itachi had killed his family, nor with the hatred into which the despair had turned after some time, or the wild desire for revenge that was raving in his heart, and the idea (though he himself knew it to be irrational) that he would feel better when he had finally killed Itachi.

„I had guessed that he had done something terrible to you", Suigetsu said. „But I did not know that it was that bad. I am sorry."

„No need to be sorry."

„Why not? It did hurt – it was terrible."

„Of course it hurt – what do you think."

„Then why is there no need to be sorry?"

„Because I don't need anyone to be sorry. It was terrible for me – but I don't need anyone's pity. I am no child any more. I am a man, and I will take revenge."

„Taking revenge will not lessen your pain in any way."

„Do you try to tell me that I should abandon my plans for revenge?"

„No. I try to tell you that you can accept pity even if you have grown up to be a powerful great avenger."

„I don't need any pity. I have had enough of it to last me a lifetime, just after my parents' death."

Murder, he reminded himself. Back then everybody had avoided the word murder, not wanting to shock his tender, seven-year-old heart.

„They would pat my head and say 'poor boy' and treat me as if I were urgently in need of help, and sometimes they would make me talk about what happened, claiming it would help me, and interrupt me when they could not bear it any more and tell me to think of something nicer, happier. They would not understand what it really felt like. They were not able to."

He remembered now himself: How he had felt numb and shocked, not wanting to believe it, not wanting to feel the walls falling down on him, the earth opening beneath him, the world that had been firm and safe crumbling in front of his eyes, leaving him drifting on a wooden plank on the ocean. And still there had been another part of him that knew that everything was true, that his parents were really dead, a part of him that was even able to ask Itachi why he had done it and to listen to Itachi's answer.

Only then he had been overcome by pain, rage and despair; he had attacked Itachi, had been defeated and passed out. He had woken up, and his whole body had been in pain, not from his physical injury, but from the pain in his heart. Only slowly, when the plan for revenge was forming in his mind, the pain got less and he could think more clearly.

There it was again, his desire for revenge, burning hot as ever.

„No one can understand", he said. „No one who has not been through this as well."

„Ah", Suigetsu replied. „And you truly think that there's no one else in this world who has lost all his family?"

Sasuke's eyes met Suigetsu's: Waterblue, cold, clear, analytical – and still beneath the coldness was the knowledge about pain.

He looked at Karin, who for a change looked not seductive, but peaceful and friendly, and then at Juugo whose eyes had always been the same, full of trust and hope, simply because he had to cling to both in order not to despair.

Sasuke lowered his eyes.

„I am sorry", he said. „I did not know."

„You did not ask", Suigetsu answered.

„I know. I am sorry."

Juugo put his arm around his shoulder. „It's okay", he said.

„Poor boy", Suigetsu said, and Sasuke was too tired to be angry.