She's got a smile it seems to me,
Reminds me of childhood memories.
Where everything,
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky,
Now and then when I see her face,
She takes me away to that special place,
And if I'd stare too long,
I'd probably break down and cry.

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies,
As if they thought of rain,
I hate to look into those eyes,
And see an ounce of pain.

Guns N' Roses:- Sweet Child of Mine

"So, if you don't mind a complete stranger sticking his big nose into your life when he's known you for under half an hour," Shawn began another hilarious rambling sentence and Juliet smiled softly, letting another laugh escape. She'd laughed so much in the past half hour that she was surprised she was still able to draw breath without her lungs hurting. Her cheeks were already sore from smiling.

"Why isn't your very lucky husband not currently beating the crap out of me for buying you drinks and having the nerve to talk to you?" he asked, clearly very curious as to why she was so upset in the first place.

He'd already figured out that it had something to do with said absentee husband, but he wasn't very clear on the exact details. Juliet looked away from him when he got the question out, her eyes falling onto the bar in clear embarrassment. Shawn instantly sensed he'd hit a sore spot. "Sorry, it's none of my business..." he backtracked, not wanting her to be upset with him.

"No, it's not that. I don't mind you asking at all. I figured you'd get to it eventually anyway..." she gave a humourless laugh and it only served to deepen his concern. What could have made such a fun loving woman like this so depressed? "It's just a long story I guess. I wouldn't want to bore you with it. I don't even like subjecting myself to it," she explained. As much as she would have loved a friendly ear to spill all of her woes and worries to, she didn't want to possibly bore her new friend to death with the story of her loveless and lifeless marriage to an arrogant asshole. She'd brightened up considerably just not thinking about him for half an hour.

Shawn certainly had that kind of effect on people. Juliet shot him an affectionate smile and he returned it.

The sky was getting much darker now, the sun wavering on the horizon and the band was running a little late. They were currently setting up their equipment on stage even though they should have been playing by now. According to the bar staff there had been some trouble with the electronics so they were trying to get everything back on track as quickly as they could. It was going to be a big band by the looks of things and from the sight of all the equipment they were setting up. The tables in front of the stage had started to fill up without either of the pair noticing since they'd been so engrossed in conversation. It had only been half an hour of them bantering back and forwards but she already felt comfortable enough around him to open up a little more.

Shawn just had an air about him that screamed 'trust worthy'. Juliet liked it. It made her feel safe, even though she wasn't going to admit that little fact to him. It would be a tad weird telling an almost stranger that he made her feel safer than her husband did. But the way he kept catching her off guard with insightful comments about her feelings, he probably already knew. He was amazingly observant and she had a feeling that there was more of a story behind it than he was letting on.

She made a mental note to ask him about it when she got the chance.

He was just so easy going and jubilant about everything around him. It was like he'd dipped her whole grey world in colour. Shawn was quite the artist indeed. The way he painted images in her mind as he told a story, or how he used his hands to illustrate a point was proof of that alone.

He must have tipped the bartender every time the confused guy walked past, so much so that he'd eventually been asked to stop giving away his money for no reason. She'd had a good laugh at his expense with the bartender and he'd pouted for a few seconds before finding something else to amuse them both with. After that he'd taken to throwing peanuts up with the air and catching them in his mouth. He was surprisingly good and when she'd mentioned it to him, he explained that it was because he talked so much. She personally couldn't believe that she'd made such a new and interesting friend so easily. She never could have done it at home and even though it had been Shawn who had approached her, she felt a little bit of pride that she was interesting enough to approach in the first place.

Juliet glanced up at him. He looked like he was impenetrably deep in thought, his face pensive and focused. He was clearly considering what she'd just said about not wanting to burden him with her own worries, but even after knowing him for all of half an hour, even she could tell he was being comical with the way he held himself. The finger and thumb under his chin, the eyes looking up and his lips pouting a little too much. She nudged him playfully and he broke out of his pose with a snort.

"Okay, after much deliberation, I've drawn a conclusion that would benefit the both of us." She motioned for him to continue, secretly amused by just how clever he was by pretending not to be clever. "How about... a services exchange?" She immediately raised her eyebrows at him questioningly and shot him a warning look to tell him that he shouldn't be implying such things... no matter how much she may be attracted to him. He laughed her look of doom off, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Nothing sinister woman! What kind of boy do you think I am?"

"You know, you shouldn't ask that question unless you're fishing for an honest answer," she teased and he seemed incredibly happy that she was cheering up again. He'd lost her there for a few minutes while she was gone in thought. He'd actually been a little worried about the state she was in earlier when he'd approached. Not that he was planning on admitting that to this very nice, yet still practically total stranger. "Alright, you're intentions are pure. Go ahead. So what is this services exchange you're offering me?"

"Well, I was thinking... How about you let me ply you with alcohol for the rest of the night while I generously lend you a friendly ear in which to pour all of your woes. A problem shared is a problem halved after all."

"You sound like a fortune cookie."

"I eat a lot of them; some things are bound to stick. To sweeten this already amazing deal, I promise that I won't even try to feel you up. I'm a gentleman like that." She rolled her eyes playfully because she knew he was joking, letting a loud laugh escape from her throat as her head fell back. So this was what an adult conversation was like with someone who knew how to have fun; and who responded when you spoke to them. Shawn could certainly teach the yawn makers at the Country Club a thing or two about having a good time. "So what do you say to my very generous proposition my lady?"

Juliet pretended to think for a minute, mulling it over in her head. She made like she was going to answer a few times, before going back to thinking and leaving him hanging. He began to laugh out loud at the little show she was putting on. "This isn't fair on me you know. I'm a very impatient person Jules. It's one of my many lesser traits that I'm not proud of."

"Jules?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh!" he seemed to realize what he'd just said. "Sorry, I tend to give people I like nicknames and such. I can go back to 'Juliet' if you want or if it makes you uncomfortable..." he explained apologetically, totally unaware if he'd crossed some invisible line or not with her. He was still testing the water after all. Instead, Juliet beamed widely at him and put his fears at ease. He relaxed when she smiled. The only nickname she'd ever gotten in life was 'Julie' and she hated it with a vengeance. It was her father's childhood pet name for her and Jonathon had all too quickly adopted it.

It reminded her of unhappy times spent in her childhood home, locked away in the bedroom with only books for company.

'Jules' on the other hand... Well, it rolled off your tongue easily. She liked it more than she should have, but it was just so nice to have a nickname she enjoyed hearing.

"You know what Shawn? I think I like having my own nickname and I think I like the sound of your proposition too. It's really nice of you to offer to listen to my tale of woe when you could be out there enjoying yourself with all the fun people in this giant city," she added, suddenly wondering if she was causing him to miss out on any plans with his friends. The thought struck her suddenly and she just had to mention it. He was clearly a people person. He could probably make friends wherever he went, with whomever he wanted and yet he was stuck here offering to let her spill her guts to him. Shawn however, shook his head and swallowed the mouthful of beer he'd been drinking quickly so he could answer her.

"Not at all! I'd much rather be here making you smile than getting myself in trouble with the local rabble. I tend to get myself into trouble a lot and I think I could use a night when I don't speak before I think. My mouth says words before my brain has time to think about what they are. I'm amazed I can speak in full sentences to be honest," he chuckled and she laughed with him. "So, I'll get another round in and if you'd be so kind, would you commandeer us some seats?" he nodded towards the quickly filling up tables. Juliet gave him a quick nod and hopped off her stool, grabbing her purse and hurrying off to get a table.

When he'd watched her go, Shawn turned and ordered the beers. To his left a young woman with an odd haircut approached him from the other side of the bar. She didn't look all that amused as she came to a halt. Shawn didn't notice her straight away, looking in his wallet for a ten. "Hey," she waved a hand in front of him, snapping her fingers and attracting his attention away from his wallet. He looked up in confusion, looking a little scared of the small woman with her arms crossed, and a dangerous expression on her face that was standing in front of him.

"Uh... Yeah?"

"You'd better not be trying to mess with that lady over there, okay buster?" she nodded in Juliet's direction, the blond looking back at the bar curiously. "She's the only person all day who was nice enough to compliment my new haircut, so if you give her any trouble I'll make sure to kick your ass extra hard as a present from her to you," she glared warningly, trying to work out his angle in her head. Sure, she was a bit of a hard ass, but she was genuinely worried for the sweetheart she'd met at the bar. No-one had said anything nice about her hair all day and she'd been a bit disgruntled until Blondie had showed up.

Plus, she'd seemed so happy to have made a friend and she didn't want to see her being taken advantage of by some low life.

"Look," Shawn began calmly. "I promise I won't do anything to mess with her. I just thought she looked kind of upset earlier and I decided to keep her company," he explained, raising his hands in a sign of peace. He was concerned for a moment when she leaned in a bit closer. The smaller woman merely scrutinized his face for a few seconds, before backing off. He was telling the truth. She could clearly see it in his eyes. She gave a curt nod of approval before turning to go back to her duties. But not before she gave him another message.

"Well, you tell her Kelly from the bar has her back okay? If she needs anything, all she has to do is ask." With that, she vanished and Shawn quickly paid for his beers, walking away with a confused slash terrified look still on his face.

Sitting away to the side, Juliet had watched the whole exchange with fascination. Shawn seemed genuinely terrified of the little woman who hadn't been very amused with him, although to be fair, the punk rocker vibe she was giving off probably contributed greatly with the intimidation. When he set the beers down on the table, Juliet noticed the look on his face and became incredibly amused at his expense when he explained to her what had happened.

"That's so sweet. I've never made a friend who said they would watch my back before," Juliet muttered when he told her the whole story. Shawn seemed genuinely surprised and Juliet shrugged. When Kelly looked over to check on her, Juliet gave her a wave and a nod to signify that she was okay with Shawn. Kelly nodded back with a grin and a thumbs up, before getting back to work- probably working as security around the bar, Shawn mused.

He'd certainly run if he saw her coming towards him with that look on her face.

"You know, you keep telling me, my dear sweet Jules that you find it hard to make friends. I don't see why though. You're very approachable if I do say so myself," he nudged her gently with his elbow and she laughed.

"Aww, I appreciate you saying that Shawn. I guess I make friends easily when they're people I can relate to. The people back home aren't exactly my type..." she trailed off awkwardly and Shawn frowned. Juliet shrugged, giving him the short version of her explanation. "They don't really like me because I'm not originally from around there. They're just very judgemental I guess. I suppose that's why I find it hard to approach people. I always feel like I'm going to be judged and then when I stay away, people get the image that I'm stuck up. I want to tell them that I'm just a little shy, but that's the thing about being shy... I can't."

Shawn gave her a reassuring pat on the back, his large palm warm on her skin through her sun dress. "It's kind of a vicious cycle of shyness," she finished and he hummed thoughtfully before answering.

"Well you know what? It's their loss Jules, not yours. In my opinion, you'd make anyone a great friend. Look at me! I've only known you for forty five minutes and I'm already your friend. Kelly, over there -as terrifying as she may be- only knew you for all of two seconds and she's ready to kick my ass if I so much as say anything wrong to you," he threw another nervous glance towards the bar and Juliet shook her head in amusement at his fear. He continued.

"So, it is my ruling that there is not a single damn thing wrong with you. All those people back where you live are all just defective if you ask me," he concluded and Juliet sniggered, her wild thoughts of letting Shawn loose in the Country Club with snobs absolutely hilarious. He'd be throwing peanuts in the air, catching them with his mouth and they'd be gasping with barely contained outrage. She had a gut feeling that he wouldn't care either.

"Thanks Shawn, you're a sweetheart," she smiled, taking another swig of beer. He nodded his thanks, drinking from his own bottle. Scrutinizing his face as he watched the stage, she cocked her head to one side.

"So, tell me a little bit about yourself Shawn. Where are you from? What are you doing in Las Vegas of all the great places in the world?" she was suddenly very interested in his story. A guy like him just didn't go through life without a amassing an amazing story to tell. What a story Shawn must have. She was deeply interested in finding out more about his life. To tell you the truth, she just wanted to make a friend she could keep and getting the back story on someone was the right way to find out what you had in common. Although clearly their senses of humour were having no trouble getting along.

He instantly knew she was avoiding the subject of her husband but for the time being, he didn't mind. Perhaps letting her get to know him a little more would put her at ease when she was sharing her own story. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. He liked that she had a quality that made him want to protect her. He liked the feeling if he was honest. He wanted to make sure she was okay. He kind of got why Kelly was so protective of her after only a few minutes. He liked her; her personality, her laughter and her jokes.

Her eyes... Her eyes were so blue; they reminded him of the sky back home on a clear day. He didn't even care how lame that sounded. They did. He had a feeling that if she was ever in pain, he would never be able to look into her eyes. She would be able to tear him apart with one glance. "Well, I'm originally from Santa Barbara, where my family are. Well, my dad and my best friend are there anyway. My mom is in New York at the minute on some book tour. She's a psychiatrist." Juliet nodded in sudden fascination.

His family was already so much more interesting than hers.

"What about your dad?"

"The old man and I don't get along all that well... He was a Detective for the Police Department, but he's retired now. To be honest he's one of the main reasons I'm heading back home. To put things right. We didn't leave things so well when I left. There was a lot of shouting and pleading to stay, but things just didn't work out his way for once," he mumbled, clearly upset at the thought of his father. Juliet found herself squeezing his arm reassuringly. She could definitely relate to daddy issues, so she kind of knew how he felt.

"My dad and I don't really get along either, so I guess we have something in common," she gave him a little bit of information about herself and he seemed pleased that they both knew what it was like to be at odds with a parent. Juliet changed the subject to something happier after a few seconds of silence. "What about this best friend of yours?" Suddenly, Shawn's entire body language changed at the mention of his best friend in the world. His face absolutely exploded with happiness and his whole demeanour became one of joy. Juliet found herself dying to know even more. It was like a drug.

"That, my dear Jules would be Gus! Gus is my other half in every single way... But not in a gay way!" he quickly clarified, giving her a look when she giggled loudly. She quickly apologized, recovering and motioning for him to continue. "We've been best friends ever since I was born. We did absolutely everything together. School, college, even our first jobs were with the same firm. We both love anything to do with the 80's, pineapple, Tears for Fears-"

"Ugh, I love Tears for Fears..."

Shawn gaped at her, his train of thought stopping dead. "Seriously? Because Jules, it would be a crime if you were joking about that."

She shook her head. "Nope, deadly serious. I would never joke about that." He cursed the fact that she was married in his head for what seemed like the millionth time, unaware that she was doing the exact same thing in hers. Shawn was so passionate about life and so full of emotion that Juliet wondered why everyone couldn't be like him. If they were, then life would be so much more wonderful.

As the night carried on and the band struck up, he went on to tell her about his many extensive travels around the world, anywhere and everywhere. He told her about how he'd been to France and to Spain, to Italy and Egypt. Juliet listened with barely concealed joy at stories of all the places she wanted to go in the world, pushing aside the sadness that threatened to consume her when she realized she would probably never see them and she was barely twenty four. He told her about being chased by an angry street vendor in China and about the beer festivals he'd been to in Germany.

She'd delighted in his seemingly endless pool of stories until he'd turned the tables on her and asked her about her own dreams and ambitions in life. Where she came from, where she wanted to go and how she wanted to get there. Juliet wished she had some interesting things to tell him and repay him for the entertainment he'd given her.

But instead she told him of her lifelong dream to visit beautiful places like Ireland and France and he seemed just as immersed in her fantasies as she had been in his real stories. He urged her to tell him more, things about her family when she was a child.

She searched through the more unhappy memories and told him only of the good times and he seemed thrilled to learn that she had three older brothers. He explained of his longing for a sibling when he was a child, even though he'd had Gus to serve as a replacement. Juliet told him it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, revealing all of the pranks that they'd played on each other as children, making each other's lives a living hell on some occasions.

Shawn told her about his own childhood and his father's obsession with turning him into some sort of mythical super-cop. His words, not hers. Juliet had listened intently as he'd described his photographic memory-inherited directly from his mother- and how things worked in his brain. He'd even demonstrated a few things to her, pulling seemingly tiny information about her dinner from hours ago straight out of thin air. He was always right, down to the last detail.

When she voiced her amazement, he'd shrugged it off shyly.

But he'd cracked up with laughter when she told him she should pretend to be a Psychic for the tourists. She could see him being the type to pretend to be psychic so he could impress people. He'd thanked her, telling her he'd rather not flash his abilities around.

Eventually when they began to enjoy the music as well as talk, Shawn caught her looking longingly at the dance floor that had been cleared by the staff in the middle of the patio. It was pretty busy, but there was enough room to move easily around it and so Shawn pushed his chair out with a screech as it dragged along the ground. Juliet looked at him curiously as he grinned, his eyes flickering to the dance floor as he stretched out his hand for her to take.

"What do you say Jules? Do you fancy a spin around the floor with an incredibly gorgeous man? I'm not much of a dancer but I can certainly try and make a fool out of myself while I do it," he grinned down at her, pleading with his big puppy dog eyes. She couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips, sharing and revelling in his infectious thirst for life.

"Well, I suppose you need somebody to teach you the steps," she pretended to sigh in exasperation but he didn't believe a millisecond of her little act. In fact, he quite enjoyed the fact that she was comfortable enough around him to joke so easily. He was very glad that he'd approached her now. Very glad indeed.

Covering her small hand with his larger one, he pulled her from her seat with a tug and towards the dance floor with a carefree laugh that she couldn't stop herself from sharing. Of course, Shawn had lied through his teeth. He was a wonderful dancer, oddly graceful for someone who looked so clumsy and nothing like the fool he'd pretended to be. He could certainly out-dance anyone she'd ever seen in the Country Club back home and that included the older gentlemen who had been doing it their entire lives.

Juliet herself had been taught to dance as a child, a requirement for the hundreds of dinner parties and functions her family had to attend. She had no problem what-so-ever keeping up with him and she'd certainly never enjoyed dancing like this before. Anything remotely fun was frowned upon by the old miseries.

Her sundress whirled around as he spun her, quickly catching her in his arms again during the up-tempo number. She couldn't keep the grin from her face as they danced through several songs when other couples were long exhausted, replaced by new people as they left to go back to their seats. Juliet certainly kept him on his toes with a few new moves that he didn't know and he kept her blushing the whole way through, his hands on her lower back or her waist, sending tingles to her nerve endings. Even when his hands weren't on her, he was close by, never letting her out of his sight on the floor and steering her away from anyone he deemed unsavoury.

Juliet was both thrilled and flattered by his endless and unwavering attention. Never before had she had the full attention of a man as handsome as Shawn.

Yet... she knew that he would more than likely be gone by this time tomorrow, off on some new amazing adventure as he went home to Santa Barbara... but that certainly didn't mean she couldn't enjoy him while he was here. She thought of not getting too attached but it was a bit late for that now. The mere thought of him leaving now made her miserable, the dull ache in her chest threatening to come back tenfold all of a sudden. She didn't want to be left on her own again. But one charming smile flashed her way from him and her sorrow was again forgotten as he made her laugh her troubles away. "Come on Jules! Surely you aren't tired yet are you? Maybe you just can't keep up with me!" he called out over the music. She gave him a challenging grin and he returned it.

"Oh bring it on Spencer!" she called back and he roared with laughter, pulling her close against him with a gentle tug on her arm. She slammed into his chest, her arms curling around his neck and any thought of her cheating husband far from her mind. She giggled against him as he slowed down with the music, rocking from foot to foot as his arms curled around her. The night was winding down now and people were beginning to leave, but Juliet was determined to draw it out as long as possible.

The song had switched to something for the couples to dance to and Shawn didn't seem to mind, so why should she? She let him rock back and forwards with her in his arms, enjoying the warm night air and the gentle breeze which carried the music to them. Tonight had been perfect beyond all belief, better than anything she could ever have hoped for. She leaned her head on his chest, sighing softly. He hummed happily under her finger tips as they enjoyed the last soulful notes of the song.

They pulled back slowly, with sheepish smiles on their faces as they applauded the bands last song and the call from the bar for last orders was yelled. Shawn nodded towards their table and Juliet nodded back, letting him lead her through the waning crowd to collect her things. She didn't talk much, the thought that the night had ended so quickly and the looming lonely night in her room causing her throat to close up a little. Shawn clearly felt the same way, his stance suddenly awkward as Juliet found her purse underneath her seat.

When she stood up, she turned to face him. "You know, there aren't many guys out there who would cheer up a girl and not expect anything in return..."

He shrugged, embarrassed.

"So from the bottom of my heart, thank you," she stood on her tiptoes before she could over think it and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. He let out a sigh of happiness and grinned from ear to ear when she pulled back, her own cheeks red and her eyes looking everywhere but his face. He cleared his throat again before he spoke.

"Think nothing of it Jules. It was my pleasure to keep you company for the night. If you don't mind me saying..." he trailed off and she glanced back up at him, nodding to give him permission to continue. "I hope your husband comes to his senses tomorrow and takes you out to see the city, because he's really missing out on something special."

Juliet gave him a soft smile. "Yeah, the city is pretty beautiful."

"I wasn't talking about the city," he answered quietly and she went red again. She would really have to stop blushing like this.

"Maybe I'll see you around Jules," he reached down and pulled her hand up to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss over it. Her heart beat wildly at the thought of never seeing him again, but she said none of the things she wanted to. She squeezed his hand before he let go, backing away with a smile. "Bye..." he muttered, before turning quickly and walking away towards the inside of the hotel. Juliet watched him go, her chest constricting painfully and she didn't know why.

He was only a stranger after all... That was her voice of reason speaking.

Yeah, but a stranger who had just given her more fun and attention in one night than her husband had in two years, another little voice argued right back. A stranger who had made her feel like the only woman in the room and in the world. Juliet decided she would start listening to that voice instead of the 'Voice of Reason'. Reason hadn't gotten her very far in life up to now. Maybe it was time to go in a new direction.

With a heavy sigh, she composed herself. She would have to go back to that room all alone and wait around like a fool for a man who would stumble in at all hours of the night, smelling of booze with love bites on his neck. She closed her eyes tightly, reminding herself to make up the couch to sleep on when she got back. Casting a wistful glance at the table where she'd been sitting with Shawn not too long ago, she turned and dragged her tired form towards her room.

She climbed the seemingly endless stairs, ignoring the elevator as usual and she made it upstairs in record time. Shawn was in her mind relentlessly every step of the way, wondering things like where he would end up tomorrow and if he was packing already to go. What amazing adventures he would be getting up to while she sat obediently at home with only her wreck of a marriage to keep her company. The longing to experience life was almost unbearable and to experience it with someone like Shawn... She couldn't bear to think about such an impossible dream.

She opened the door to the room, not surprised in the least that it was one in the morning and Jonathon was no-where to be found. At least she could go about her business without his snide drunken remarks. She quickly made up the couch for herself, with a pillow from the bed and a spare blanket that she found in one of the cupboards in the bathroom. She wouldn't really need it if she was honest; the heat from the night air was more than enough to keep her warm. Sighing softly, she opened the balcony doors and enjoyed the calmness of the city as it washed around her.

The lights were bright and gaudy, but strangely beautiful as she surveyed them from above. The Strip buzzed with life, even in the early hours of the morning. She liked the feeling of being the one who could see it all in the silence of the balcony.

Once again her thoughts turned to Shawn, her handsome saviour of the night.

Even if she never saw him again, she would always remember him. There was no way of forgetting him, she though with amusement. He certainly left an impression behind. He'd been such a refreshing change from her miserable life. She secretly wished him the best in whatever he did from now on, glad that he wasn't stuck in the same rut as she was. At least one of them would get to live their lives. He would probably have forgotten all about her by the time he got home anyway, even with that astounding memory of his.

Shaking herself out of her abject misery, Juliet turned from her musing, from the warm breeze and her dreams and went back inside.

A/N: First off, I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful reviews. It's so uplifting to see them and know that people are enjoying the fic so far! A quick message to the lovely people who review, but don't sign in- I'd love it if you did so I could send you a thank you message. I'll try my best to get everyone who reviews and I apologize if I miss anyone out.

If you don't feel like signing in, then a big thanks to you guest reviewers because you're all amazing too. I just don't want you guys to feel left out XD

So anyway, isn't Shawn just the sweetest guy ever? Poor Jules, having to go back to that lonely hotel room, thinking that she'll never see him again. How sad... Oh please, of course he'll be back! This a Shules fic people, and we haven't even had the customary helping of smut that I put into everything yet. Who knows where Jonathon is? *shrugs* I think I may actually be disgusted with a character from my own imagination. Good lord...

Reviews are like kicking Jonathon in the crotch. Rewarding and necessary for me to continue.