A/N: I could only fit the auction into this chapter. The actual dinners are coming up next.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Alex, you look great," Rachel said reassuringly to the other, senior detective. "You'll do fine."

"Yeah," said a smarmy sounding voice from the doorway, "You look better than I do at least, Eames."

Alex looked up and saw Olivia Benson standing in the doorway, dressed in a killer sapphire blue dress that showed a lot of leg. "Olivia. You got roped into this thing, too?"

The woman nodded, glaring at the nonexistent image of her captain, "Yep. Cragen thought it would be … nice if I was involved."

Alex just rolled her eyes at Carolyn said, "Deakins didn't give us a choice."

Before their conversation could continue, however, the Master of Ceremonies (the Chief of Detectives, no less) came in and ushered the women into order for … presentation.

"Welcome gentlemen … and welcome to the few women out there tonight," the Chief started, "To our Bachelorettes in Uniform Charity Auction. All the proceeds from tonight will go to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina." Soon he was calling forth the names of the female fire fighters that had been dragged into the auction at the request of their captains.

The most one of the NYFD fire fighters went for was $1,562.35 for one Gypsy Henderson – paid by the man she'd been refusing to go out with for the past four months. Oh, well, if it would help the victims of Katrina and she got a free meal out of it … Gypsy was willing to go along with it even if Tom was a nasty smelling garbage man.

"Now, without further adieu, we'll start our NYPD participants off with those from Major Case Squad. Detective First-Grade Alexandra Eames."

Alex heard her name being called and started walking toward the Chief of Detectives. Her heart was pounding so loud she was positive even Bobby would hear it from his perch in the back of the room.

Before Chief Madison could start listing off Alex's qualifications as a cop, however, there was a shout from the crowd of, "Two thousand dollars!"

---

"Mike, here," Bobby said when he and Mike arrived at the hotel the auction was taking place in. He handed Mike a wad of cash.

"What's this, Goren?" Mike asked cautiously as he took it.

"You're going to buy Eames for me," Bobby said, his face blank.

"WHAT? She'd kill me! I already have to make sure Caro gets up to over one grand – now Alex, too! Are you trying to get me killed?"

Bobby shook his head with a sigh, "Leave Barek up to me. She'll go for over two grand. But I need you to take this and use it to bid on Eames and win."

"How much is here?"

"Five grand."

"What the hell? Are you trying to go broke on this, man?" Mike asked as he eyed the wad of bills he was putting in his pocket with an appraising eye.

He shook his head, "I'm not going broke."

"Then where the hell did this come from?"

"Stock options."

"What?"

"I invested my Army pension into stocks when I started working in Narcotics. I just sold them off. Hence – lots of money," Bobby explained as if he was talking to a small child.

Mike nodded, "Okay, then. But I'm expecting a fee of two hundred dollars if Alex slaps me for bidding on her."

"If there's any bodily harm done to you, Mike, I'll give you two hundred for wounded pride, okay? Good. Now, come on, it's about to start."

---

Bobby felt his jaw drop and his heart stop when he saw Alex walk out onto the stage. Her dress was his favorite color of red (had been ever since he saw her in that dress); a halter top, showing off her perfect peaches and cream complexion while still maintaining a modest neckline.

When some unknown man in the crowd shouted out the first bid of two thousand dollars, Bobby sent Mike a glare that told him to bid as high as he had to in order to 'win' Eames. Logan nodded once, letting Goren know he got the message.

"Three thousand," Mike placed his bid confidently.

The Chief raised his eyebrows, looking from Alex and back to the crowd, "You do realize, gentlemen that you just get dinner with Detective Eames … and she could probably kill any one of you without breaking a sweat?"

"Five thousand," another man offered, causing Bobby to roll his eyes, discretely telling Mike to bid it up to ten grand. Eames caught Bobby's eyes and silently asked him why he wasn't bidding. When he silently cocked his head at her, she smiled slightly. She didn't know what was up, but she knew damn well that Bobby was bankrolling someone else's bids on her. The only question was: who?

"Ten grand," Mike said loudly, causing the other men to glare at him. No one wanted to pay that much for a dinner with a woman who most likely wouldn't go out with them on a second date. This guy was insane!

As the Chief made sure that Logan's bid was the highest, Alex sent Mike a look that made him want to run and hide in fear of her wrath.

Pissing off Detective Eames was so not his idea of a good time.

Later, when it was Carolyn's turn to walk out to stand beside Chief Madison, Mike felt his stomach drop. She looked like Aphrodite in her pale lilac dress; her legs firm and muscular. He wanted to rip that damn dress off her.

When the bidding started, he looked at Bobby, knowing that the bigger detective was going to bid on Mike's partner for him. What surprised him, however, was Bobby's silence as the price for Carolyn's company at dinner the following night rose to about one thousand dollars.

Finally, when the price had settled around two thousand, Bobby called out, "Three thousand," causing Carolyn to look at him in relief – the man who had almost purchased her time looked really greasy and … well, he looked like he may be embezzling funds from his company.

Madison raised his eyebrows, wondering what was with the detectives from Major Case that evening, "Three thousand for Detective Goren. Going once …"

"Four!" the embezzler cried out.

Goren's eyes drilled into the man's as he said, "Seven," in his calm tone that usually only came out in the interrogation room.

The other man glared at him as Chief Madison called out that for the price of seven thousand dollars Detective Goren had won the hand of Detective Barek for the next evening at some Italian restaurant that had volunteered to cater the evening.

From over in another corner, with his wife by his side, Deakins raised his eyebrows. This was interesting. He had thought that Goren would have purchased his own partner's hand for the following evening, and that Logan would have just bid up Barek's price. He had not thought that Logan would bid ten grand for Eames and Goren seven grand for Barek … maybe he spent too much time listening to the rumors about his golden team …

"Darling?" his wife, Angie, asked him quietly. "Did you notice how Detective Logan kept on looking at Bobby? I think they may be buying the other's partner on purpose."

Jimmy looked at his wife in shock. "Huh. I hadn't thought of that."

Angie smiled, leaning in to kiss him lightly, "That's why you married me, dear. To catch the things you don't."

With a mischievous glint in his eye Jimmy asked, "Really? I thought it was for the pie."

"Oh, you!"

---

When Carolyn walked into the green room where the officers already auctioned off were waiting, her eyes were wide as she numbly sat down beside Alex. "Seven grand."

Alex nodded, "Was it Mike?"

Carolyn shook her head, "It was Bobby."

"Huh," said Rachel, who had been sold for three grand right after Alex. "Maybe they planned it?"

"Or maybe Mike really wants to see your sweats," Carolyn joked. "How much did he bid for you?"

"Ten grand," Alex said, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Mike's a cheap bastard … there's no way in hell he was bidding with his own money."

"Maybe that guy from accounting is spotting him," Carolyn offered with a grin.

Alex's glare intensified, "He better not be. I already told him that I'd kick his ass into next Thursday if he tried to do that."

"Maybe it was Bobby," Rachel said, her voice small.

Alex looked at her and then at the nodding Carolyn. "You guys are insane."

"Get it off, get it off!" Olivia said with a look of horror on her face as she walked into the green room, shuddering.

"What's wrong, Liv? Who bought you?" Alex asked.

Liv made a face, "John Munch. Damn womanizer."

Rachel smirked, "Trade ya? I got this guy I don't even know. He had a long ponytail of hair, goatee and glasses. Kinda creepy."

"Wait," Alex asked, "That sounds like Lewis. Was he standing by Bobby? The guy with the bright green tie on?"

Rachel nodded, "You know him?"

"Yeah. He's one of Bobby's friends – told me that he was going to 'buy' the first girl wearing a green dress. Lucky you. He's nice."

"What's he do for a living?" Rachel asked, wanting to get all the information she could about her date.

"He restores old cars. Has his own garage."

Rachel raised an eyebrow, "Huh. I like cars."

Alex grinned knowingly, "He also happens to drive a restored 1963 Cadillac. Perfect in every way … except that he painted it this awful green color."

Rachel grinned back at her, "Lucky for me that I like green."

"Oh, just wait."

A/N: (Grins sheepishly) So? What do you think? I know this would never, ever, ever happen in reali life, but I liked the idea. Please review. Like I said before, the dinner's up next.