Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. Chris and Joe belong to Seth MacFarlane, Tilly and CJ are MalcolmFox's creation. The plot is mine though. I'm always interested in others' ideas for where I should take this fanfic, so feel free to suggest stuff to me.

Tilly's POV

Life is not good. We're doomed. Or that was my first thought when I saw the cop cars outside the house. Oh my God...please tell me Dad isn't busted. CJ comes running outside.

"They busted Dad."

"Oh God no...how?"

"He got pulled over for a random search, and they found the drugs in his car."

"Damn it Dad, haven't I always told him to never keep them inside? Where is he?"

"At the police station. Let's go."

"How are we going to get there?"

"I'll hot-wire a car."

"You don't know how to."

"I've seen it in the movies. How hard can it be?"

"And what are we going to do when we arrive at the police station in a stolen car?"

"Deny it."

I sighed. This was going to take a while unless I conceded.

"Ok, try it."

CJ ran up to a conveniently-parked car, grabbed a rock and smashed the window. The alarm went haywire, but he grabbed a wire and jumped in the front seat, before sticking it in the ignition and flooring the accelerator.

"Hey sis, why aren't we moving?"

How could anyone be so dumb? With great restraint, I reminded him that "you have to wiggle the wire a bit, dumb arse, then see what happens. Here, let me try." I got in the drivers seat and managed to get the engine on, but when I tried to start it we didn't move.

"We're not moving."

"That's because of the engine immobiliser. Everyone knows that." I hate it when he gets one over me. He acts like a total smart arse.

"No time for smart arse antics now, we've got to run."

"Why?"

I pointed to his window. A big black guy was standing outside. He cracked his knuckles. "That's why."

Next thing I know, we're both being thrown into a jail cell.

"Get used to it, punks. You're gonna be seeing a lot of these." I know that voice.

"Joe?"

"It's Lieutenant Swanson to you, punk."

"No Joe, it's us. CJ and Tilly! Chris Griffin's kids! You know, you babysat CJ once."

"Oh yeah. I'm not gonna forget that in a hurry.

(Flashback)

Joe is babysitting a two year old CJ in his police car.

"can I push this button?"

"No." CJ pushes it anyway and the siren starts.

"What about this one?"

"No." He also pushes it and the lights start.

"Stop pushing buttons!"

"Can I just push this one?"

"No...wait, yes you can." CJ pushes it as a Mexican guy walks by.

"Illegal immigrant. Illegal immigrant." blasts from the car horn as a bunch of rednecks jump out of the bushes and start beating the Mexican guy.

"Stop stealing our jobs that we don't want!"

(End Flashback)

"Well, you can join your lowlife Dad in a cell." Joe let us out of our cell and walked us down to another one where Dad sat.

"Dad!"

"CJ? Tilly? What are you doing here? It isn't visiting time."

"No, Dad, we got busted!" CJ actually seems happy about this.

"What? Haven't I taught you anything? Don't break the law..."

"...unless you're so far up shit creek without a paddle you don't have a choice." This is one of Dad's favourite lessons to us. It's also his explanation for why he got into drug dealing.

When me and CJ were three, our mum ran off with a rich businessman to New York and left us with Dad. Since we relied on Mum's income as a stripper and Dad was still in high school at the time, we had to live off Grandma and Grandpa for a while. After school Dad tried to go work for Uncle Zack, but when he blew up his garage trying to change a tyre Uncle Zack fired him but put him in touch with some guys in the drug business. Since then, Dad rose to Quahog's biggest heroin dealer. While it never affected us much (except when junkies stayed for dinner and tried to hit on me) and having a rich drug dealer dad has lots of perks (the newest of everything, holidays in Europe and Australia) I'd always feared he would get busted. Looks like this is it. What's gonna happen to us?

"Dad, you're not going to jail are you?"

"I'm afraid so, CJ. Look after your sister. Tilly, if you two ever go too hungry you may have to become a working girl."

"Dad, I can't believe you're encouraging your own daughter to become a prostitute."

"I meant you'd have to get a job! What is it with kids and their slang these days?"

"..."

"Okay, time's up." Joe. "CJ, Tilly, the guy who's car you trashed says he won't press charges as long as you pay for it."

"We don't have any money."

"Mr Swanson, if you'd let me go to an ATM I could get the cash the kids need to pay."

"Okay then." Joe steps in and lets the cuffs off Chris. "Go, but be back soon." Chris runs out.

"Shouldn't we send somebody with him?"

"Let him go. He's too dumb to figure out he can escape."

"Dad can escape?" I jumped up and ran through the open door (this chapter has way too many random lucky coincidences). It may be a crime, but I'm not letting Dad go to jail.

"How come you're not going with them?" Joe to CJ. Dumb arse can't even figure out he can leave.

"Cause they're only going to come back. Why should I waste the energy?"

"Yep, you're definitely your fathers' son. Want some chocolate?"

"Thanks."

I sprinted out of the police station before any of those idiots could realise what I was doing. But as I rounded the corner...

...I crashed right into Dad.

"Tilly, what are you doing?"

I was totally out of breath. "Dad...I'm not letting them send you to jail."

"What else can I do? The best thing you can do for me is hope I don't get prison raped. I wouldn't mind a tattoo though..."

"You already have our names. Anyway Dad, don't you get it? No one can stop you from escaping now! You're free!"

"I am?" Dad looks around. Jesus Dad...I love you, but you can be so thick at times.

"I am! Let's go." Dad hailed a cab and we both got in.

"Where to, sir?"

"Quahog airport, please."

What's going to happen to Tilly and her Dad? And will CJ catch up with them? Well, if I answered these questions there wouldn't be any point of reading on, would there?