The update is quick because I've got a few chapters already written.
This chapter's pretty fun. Enjoy.
Chapter 2
Butters had done it. He didn't do anything bad for a whole week and he wasn't grounded once. It was Friday and Butters was so excited to find out what the grand surprise was. He'd been waiting all week and he knew he'd be extra excited once he found out what he'd be getting.
" Mom! Dad!" Butters cried, running down the stairs. Once he reached the livingroom floor, he found his parents opening the door to their house. His mother was wearing a lovely red dress and his father had on a decent suit. Butters paused, wondering if this was part of the surprise.
" Are we goin' out?" Butters asked, looking up at his parents.
" Well, no, Butters, your mother and I are going out to dinner without you. We'll be home sometime around midnight," Mr. Stotch said.
" B-but what about my surprise? I didn't do one bad thing this week!" Butters told his father. Mr. Stotch gasped and put his hands to his face.
" Oh my gosh, Butters! I'm sorry but I...I forgot!" he said, seeming truely guilty. Butters rubbed his knuckles together, all his hopes hitting the floor.
For a minute both his parents looked at eachother and then their son. Butters stood where he was, hoping that maybe they'd decide not to go out and leave him all alone.
" I'm sorry, son, but... we've been planning this all month. It totally slipped my mind that I got us three coupons for a free meal at Tgi Friday's... and they can only be used tonight or else they're worthless..." Butters' father said, taking the coupons out of his pocket. Butters gasped, his eyes wide. This was so horrible.
" W-we have to go, dad! I've been waiting for this all week!" Butters complained, running up to his father and hugging his leg. Mr. Stotch kneeled down.
" I'm sorry, son... just... look at this like a life lesson. You don't always get what you want," he said, standing straight and putting his arm around his wife. Butters hung his head down and looked at his feet.
" Now, wait, Stephen... Maybe Butters could go with someone else," Mrs. Stotch said, smiling and looking down at Butters and then at her husband.
" Linda, are you crazy?!" Mr. Stotch cried.
" No, hunny. We have to go to this date and we promised Butters that we'd give him a surprise. We have to be fair and at least let him take a little friend out to dinner... nothing bad's going to happen," the mother said, smiling to lighten her husband's mood. Stephen sighed.
" Oh, alright... don't you turn gay, Butters!" Mr. Stotch ordered before giving Butters the three coupons. Butters smiled and took the coupons from his father.
" Thanks mom! Thanks dad! I-I swear I'll be on my best b-behavior!" Butters said. His mother kissed him on the top of the head and his father glared at him.
" Have a good time," Mr. Stotch said as nicely as he could before walking from the house and closing the door behind them.
Butters smiled and jumped up and down once his parents were out of view.
" I'm goin' to T-Tgi Friday's! Oh boy!" he cried, running around the house.
" Now, who to take!" Butters said, pausing. Of course, the first person that came to mind was Eric but Butters shook his head back and forth after remembering that Eric tried getting him grounded all week. The next person that came to mind was Kyle. Kyle was nice, sometimes.
" Kyle it is, then!" Butters said, putting on his jacket and then leaving the house.
--
" Hey, fellers!" Butters said once he found the group. Stan and Kyle stopped talking right away and looked at Butters, slightly irritated.
" What do you want, Butters?" Stan asked. Butters ran up to the boys, smiling and highly energetic.
" W-well, my parents gave me three coupons for a free meal at Tgi Friday's and I was wonderin' if you'd like to come, Kyle!" Butters said, smiling and standing in front of Kyle. Kyle looked to the left then the right.
Eric raised a brow, wondering why Butters would ask Kyle before himself. He thought the week was over.
" Um... sorry, dude. Me and Stan have plans," Kyle said, looking at Stan who nodded. Butters frowned.
" Oh... okay... Do you want to come, Kenny? Eric tells me that you're poor, you might like a nice meal," Butters said. Eric laughed and pointed at Kenny who called Butters an ass hole. Butters swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. He almost asked Eric if he wanted to come just because he was the only boy left of the group but decided not to. This was pay back for all the times Eric had been mean to him.
" Well, I'll see you guys later, then," Butters said, turning his back on the group.
" What?!" Eric yelled. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny laughed as Eric ran up to Butters.
" Hold on a second, stupid, why didn't you ask me if I wanted to go?!"
Butters turned around and looked Eric in the eyes.
" 'Cause, you've been a real jerk lately! I wouldn't have even gotten these coupons if you'd succeeded in getting me grounded!" Butters said, glaring at Eric. Eric seemed at a loss for words.
" But... Butters! You've got three coupons! We could each get a meal and a half!" Eric pleaded, looking down at the coupons and reading what they said.
"... And we could get three free icecreams?! Come on, you have to take your good buddy Eric! I've always been there for you, pal!" Eric begged, putting his hands on Butters' shoulders.
" No, Eric! You've been nothing but mean to me, I ain't takin' you!" Butters said, trying to walk away from Eric. Eric grabbed the back of Butters' coat. Butters yelped and almost fell over.
" Butters, I swear to god, I'll be nice to you! I'll be so nice, I promise! Please, just let me come with you! Pleeeaaase!!" Eric was on his hands and knees now, almost in tears.
" That fat ass will do anything for food," Kyle told Stan. Stan shook his head up and down.
" You... you will?" asked Butters, hopefully.
" Yes!"
" You swear?" asked Butters.
" I swear on my life!" Eric said, still kneeling and looking up at Butters. Butters held his own chin and looked upward. He then bent down and whispered in Eric's ear.
" If you break your promise, I'm going to show everyone the picture I have of you t-touchin' your wiener and looking at boys in a magazine," Butters whispered. Eric gasped and got up from his kneeling position.
" I... I never did that! Where the hell--!? ... My hand slipped, I... I did that for a good reason!" Eric paused and looked back finding his three friends watching him. He leaned closer to Butters.
" Alright, I promise," Eric whispered. Butters smiled.
" Well, let's go then!" the blonde haired boy exclaimed, giving Eric one of the three coupons.
" Here, you can hold one. But I'm going to hold the other two, okay? J-Just in case you accidentally lose it," Butters said, going into parental mode now that he knew he was in control of Eric. Kenny laughed and pointed at Eric, calling him a fag's bitch.
Eric rolled his eyes and followed Butters down the street. It wouldn't take too long to get to Tgi Friday's from the street they were on.
--
Once there, Butters and Eric waited in line. It was busier than usual since it was Friday and everyone had gotten the special coupons. The waitresses were running around like mad, one screaming at a customer that asked for a straw.
" You want a straw?! A fucking straw, are you kidding me?! Just drink it, you pansy ass!" she yelled. Seconds after, strong men grabbed her by the arms and legs and took her into the back room.
" She must be calpustraining," Eric whispered to Butters. Butters rubbed his knuckles together.
" What's that mean?" asked Butters, fear in his eyes. Eric shook his head back and forth.
" Don't you know anything about women, Butters? Jesus Christ... it's when a tampon is stuffed down a woman's throat and then it comes out of her ass, making it bleed," Eric explained. Butters put his hand to his chin.
" W-well, that's really unpleasant..." Butters said. Eric nodded.
" That it is, Butters. That it is."
--
The two waited in line a little longer. Eric was completely void of patience and once they finally had their waitress, he screamed at her.
" Oh, yeah, that didn't take forever or anything! Jesus Christ, you guys need to get this place under control! I've been waiting for two fuckin' hours!" Eric yelled, looking up at the lady who looked down on the two and smiled as if Eric wasn't yelling at her at all. It had really only been about fifteen minutes but it seemed a lot longer to him.
" Eric, it's not her fault... you should apologise," Butters said. Eric gave Butters a ridiculous look.
" Are you kidding me?! I'm not apologising to nobody!" he said. The waitress asked the boys to follow her and she gave them a table with two chairs. Butters really wanted a booth and he would have gotten one if he came with his parents but a table would have to do.
" Here's two kiddy menus..." the waitress said, giving them each a menu. Eric ripped the menu from her slow hands as Butters let her set it on the table and then politely thanked her.
" Eric, you promised you'd be nice..." Butters said once the waitress disappeared. He put his hands on his hips.
" I said I'd be nice to you, I didn't say I'd be nice to anyone else," Eric said, rolling his eyes.
" Oh, right... I guess that's okay..." Butters said, holding up the menu.
" So, we'll get three meals... one for you, one for me, and then one for both of us. I'm gonna have a cheeseburger with some french fries... what are you going to have?" Eric asked. Butters continued reading the menu, trying to choose. It was hard, he liked so many things here.
" I'll have... no, no..." Butters flipped the page as Eric sighed, annoyed.
" Oh, yummy! I'm gonna have some ribs! Wait, no..." Butters flipped back to the first page. Eric put his head in his hand, sighing. Butters was just so annoying, sometimes.
" Hmm, let's see... well, I guess I'll have a cheeseburger and some fries, too," Butters said, smiling and lowering his menu.
" It's about time you-- I mean... good choice, my friend. Now, for our third meal: Ribs. No doubt," Eric said, taking off his gloves and then taking the crayons out of the crayon box. He hated the crayons at restaurants, they never had any good colors and they broke so easily.
" Ribs it is!" Butters said, glad they agreed. Butters took out his crayons as well and began coloring on the back of the menu.
--
Eric was drawing a picture of Kyle drowning in a tank full of water until he noticed that he didn't have a blue. Looking up, he found that Butters was using blue that second.
" Butters, give me the blue," Eric ordered, holding out his hand as he looked at his own masterpiece. Butters paused and looked up.
" Well... I'm using it..." Butters said, quietly. Eric glared at Butters.
" Butters, my art is way more important than yours. Give me the god damned blue or so help me--"
" Eric, you have to be nice to me, remember?" Butters reminded Eric. Eric dug his nails into his forehead and cursed, quietly.
" Butters, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, would you pretty pretty please with sugar on top give me the blue crayon so I can complete my work of art?" Eric asked, irritated. Butters giggled and smiled wide, then gave Eric the crayon.
" Haha, sure thing, Eric! You know, you should be nice more often!" Butters said, swinging his legs back and forth as he sat in the tall chair.
Jesus, when this is over I'm going to kick him in the nuts so hard... Eric thought as he colored the water surrounding Kyle. A grin formed on his face as he added blood coming from Kyle's nose with the red.
" Whatcha drawin', there, Eric?" Butters asked, leaning over the table so he could get a better view. Eric finished coloring the tank and then showed off his work to Butters, whose brows folded upward.
" It's great, isn't it? See, this is Kyle... and this is a tank... and that's the water, right there... and this red area is blood. I saw in this movie once that when you run out of oxygen your nose bleeds," Eric explained, smiling and admiring his genius.
" Um... that's... really good. Wanna see my picture?" Butters asked, excitedly.
" So, so much..." Eric said, sarcastically.
" Okay! I drew it for you!" Butters said, handing the drawing across the table. Eric took the picture into his hands and tried not to burst out laughing as he saw a picture of himself and Butters eating ribs. Eric hid his face behind the picture and shut his eyes tightly, wrinkling the paper with his hard grip.
Oh my god, this is so retarded! Eric thought.
" Do you like it?" Butters asked, hopefully. Eric took the paper away from his face and set it down on the table.
" Y-yes..." Eric said, trying to contain himself.
" Are... are you crying?" Butters asked, noticing tears on Eric's face. Eric touched his cheeks and felt wetness. He must have been crying as he held in his laughter.
" Why... yes, Butters. It's... a really lovely picture. I shall treasure it for the rest of my life," Eric said, hiding his face with his hand as he covered up his laughter as crying.
" Hahahaha, waaaaah!! It's just so beautiful!" Eric cried out, bashing his fist against the table top. Butters grinded his knuckles together, wishing he never showed Eric the picture. The boy was becoming an embarrassment.
Gee, Eric mustn't get a lot of pictures... Butters thought, his mouth opened slightly as he watched Eric wipe his eyes with the front of his jacket.
" Are you alright, now, Eric?" Butters asked. Eric shook his head up and down and then the waitress returned, asking what the boys wanted.
" It's about time, bitch. Uumm... first we're both going to have cheeseburgers and french fries. Coke for me... hey, Butters, what do you wanna drink?" Eric asked.
" Sprite," Butters said.
" ... And a sprite for the little tyke..." Eric said, smiling at Butters in a fatherly way. Butters smiled and played with the bottom of his shirt.
" Will that be all?" the woman asked, a huge smile on her face. She wasn't happy but all waitresses had to smile or else they'd go to jail. It was a new rule.
" Did I say I was finished? Shit... Then, we'll each share a plate of ribs. And now... I am finished. Be gone with you," Eric ordered, waving his hand at the waitress. She almost gave Eric the finger but then noticed her boss was watching. She instead smiled brightly and went over to another table, plotting her boss' demise.
" This is gonna take forever," Eric said, already impatient.
" Well, at least we'll get to spend more time together... while I was ignoring you, I bet you were really lonely!" Butters said, smiling. Eric scoffed, holding in his rude reply. He couldn't wait for this deal to be over with.
Only a few more hours... he thought.
" Yeah, yeah, I was so lonely without you in my life..." Eric said, dryly.
--
A half hour later, their food arrived. Both Eric and Butters smiled brightly, looking at eachother. The moment was finally here... they were finally going to eat. It was like nothing Eric had ever experienced and he took his first bite of the cheeseburger as if he were a starving child eating its first real meal. He slowly chewed as if it were the last burger he would ever have.
Butters just ate normally, pausing to take a sip of his sprite every now and then.
By the time Butters was finished with his burger and fries, he was so stuffed. He didn't think he'd be able to eat anymore and he still had to help Eric eat the plate of ribs, which was already half gone. Butters decided to just let Eric eat the rest as he sat and colored some more.
" Butters, these ribs are sooo good. Have some," Eric ordered, his face and hands covered in sauce. There was even some sauce on his forehead; he was that messy.
Butters looked up from his drawing.
" No thanks, Eric. I'm stuffed," Butters said, looking back down. Eric chewed annoyingly on another rib.
" Don't be such a wuss, just do as I say and eat it," Eric said as he reached for another rib.
" I don't wanna eat when I'm not hungry, Eric! I'll get big and fat, like you!" Butters said in his defense. He didn't like when people called him a wuss just because he didn't want to eat more than his stomach could handle.
" What did you call me?! Are you seriously, right now?! I'm gonna--!" Eric noticed Butters reaching into his pocket, taking out a photo. He held it close to his face and began laughing maniacally. Eric looked to the left then the right.
" Sorry! Sorry for yelling, Butters! Just put that thing away!" Eric said, quickly. Butters wiped his eyes and then suddenly turned serious.
" I'm not playing, Eric! The deal was that if you don't be nice to me, I'm going to tell everyone your secret! And I will if you don't start being nice right now!" Butters yelled, keeping the photo in his hands.
" Alright, alright! Please just put it away! You have to give me some time, Butters... I'm not used to living like this," Eric said, relaxing once Butters put the photo back into his pocket.
" Alright... I'll give you one more chance..." Butters said. Eric swallowed and then reached for a rib to calm his nerves.
" Jesus, Butters, you freaked me out, there... now I'm going to have to eat this whole plate of ribs just to calm down!" Eric said as an excuse to eat the rest of the ribs. Butters rolled his eyes then went back to coloring his picture.
A few minutes later, the waitress came back to them and took their plates and cups.
" Would you like some ice cream?" she asked, smiling brightly. Eric and Butters looked at eachother. Eric smiled.
" Sure... but to go, I've gotta put this little guy to bed," Eric said, stretching and then putting on his gloves. Butters laughed as the woman smiled and wondered why the fat boy was acting like a pedophile.
" Alright... what sort of ice cream would you like?" asked the tall waitress, balancing the plates and cups in one hand as she took out a pad and laid it on their table with the other. Eric felt the lady was quite rude... How dare she put her pad on my table? he thought, glaring at her. She ignored him and waited for their orders.
" I'm going to have... chocolate ice cream, with extra chocolate... and some chocolate sprinkles with a hint of, say... chocolate syrup? Oh, and on a chocolate cone... can't be without one of those. And let's not forget the chocolate chips... That's for me," Eric finished as the lady wrote Eric's order fast as lightning.
" And what would my favorite little boy like?" Eric asked, resting his elbow on the table and smiling at Butters. Butters grinned back then looked up at the lady.
" We'll take three of those!" Butters said. He then turned to Eric.
"We'll take three of those, right?" Butters asked, whispering. He wasn't sure if that would be appropriate or not and he wanted Eric's approval. Eric smirked, glad Butters was taking after him. He taught the young boy well.
"Yes, we'll take three of those," Eric said, smiling.
--
After getting their ice cream, they gave the waitress their coupons and left without giving a tip (Eric added as they left that even if he had the money to give her a tip, he wouldn't because she was such a jack ass and completely unprofessional).
Walking down the street, Eric finally spotted his house. He turned towards Butters and seemed a bit uncomfortable.
" Butters..." he began, a nervous look in his eyes. Butters noticed Eric got this look whenever he was going to say something nice. Butters smiled and waited for the thanks he was going to receive.
" Well... I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to come with you. It was a great meal and I shall eat this ice cream tonight with a smile on my face as I think of you," Eric said. Butters toed the snowy ground, shyly.
" It's alright, Eric... I... well, I really did miss you this week. I'm glad we got to spend time together," Butters said, looking up from the ground and into Eric's eyes. For a minute, they continued looking at eachother, smiling softly. Suddenly, Eric moved closer to Butters- his arms out.
" W-what are you doing?!" Butters cried out, suddenly remembering that his father told him not to turn gay.
" Just relax, Butters... I'm going to hug you. Come here..." he said softly, moving closer to Butters. Butters thought and wondered if two boys hugging was gay. He decided it wasn't; he saw Stan and Kyle hugging all the time and they weren't gay. Butters smiled and stepped forward, his arms out. They moved closer together, and just when they were about to hug, Butters felt a horrible pain between his legs.
" Ow!!" he yelped, falling over with his hands between his legs. Eric was laughing loudly, pointing at Butters. He'd kicked Butters so hard in the nuts, he wondered if the young boy's balls were going to be permanently damaged.
" Hahaha! That's what you get for making me treat you like a God, you piece of shit! Hahaha! Oh, jesus, I bet your balls are already bruising!!" Eric cried out, falling over and holding his stomach. He kicked his legs and hit the ground with his fists until Butters finally got up, still holding himself.
" Eric! You... you big meany! Why'd you do that?! That was your last chance and you blew it!" Butters yelled, going back to kneeling on the ground. He was hurting so badly, he was surprised he could talk.
" No, the deal is off, retard! And I'm going to get you back sooo bad! Hahaha!"
" Eric, the deal wasn't that you had to be nice to me only for one night, the deal was that you had to be nice to me for forever!" Butters said, getting up from the ground slowly. He found he could stand, now, and he glared at Eric.
" What...? For forever?! That's total bull crap!" Eric cried, holding his head in his hands. Butters crossed his arms over his chest.
" Well, it's true... and if you don't do as I say and treat me with respect, I will show everybody this picture!" Butters took the picture of his pocket, showing Eric. Eric took the picture from Butters' hand and ripped it to shreds, then stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, then smirked.
" Oh, what are you going to do now, huh?" Eric asked. Butters smiled, unnerving Eric.
" Nothing. I've got copies. Thousands of copies. All hidden... you'd never find them! And I will show everyone... especially Kyle!" Butters said, knowing that Eric and Kyle enjoyed the other's humilation. Butters knew if he showed Kyle the picture, Eric would be made fun of for the rest of his life, literally. Eric sighed and held his head with his hand. He didn't know if Butters was lying about having all those pictures but if he wasn't, Eric didn't want to risk it.
" Okay, okay. Alright, Butters... I will be nice to you," Eric said, sadly. This was going to really ruin his life... torturing Butters emotionally and physically was one of his favorite hobbies of all time. Not only did he have to stop doing one of his favorite hobbies, he also had to add a new one that he despised; he had to treat Butters like a god. He wondered how this would affect his reputation, but then decided that his friends thinking he and Butters had an ultra awesome friendship was better than them thinking he was gay.
" Well, I'll see you later then, Eric... I gotta get home!" Butters said, smiling and then turning towards his own house. Eric sighed, and went to his house as well.
--
Eric hadn't seen Butters during the weekend and he was quite happy about that. It gave him some time to relax and enjoy his life before he'd have to be Butters slave. He'd eaten his ice cream as slowly as he could Saturday, tickled his cat's belly until it pissed Sunday, and now it was Monday and he was walking over to the bus stop where Stan, Kyle and Kenny stood. Eric walked over to the space between Kyle and Kenny and then sighed, rubbing his eyes.
" Hey, fatass. How'd the date go?" asked Kyle, smiling. Kenny laughed.
" Shut up, jew! It wasn't a date!" Eric yelled, clenching his fists.
" Besides, you were going to go if you didn't have plans with Stan!" Eric added, folding his arms across his chest. Kyle sighed.
" Retard, we didn't really have plans! We just said we had plans because we didn't want to go on a date with Butters!" Kyle said. Eric paused, looking from the left to the right.
" Are you kidding me? Eating out with another dude is gay?" Eric asked. Everyone nodded and Eric looked down at his feet.
" Oh..." Eric said, simply. He learned a new thing, that day.
Suddenly, Butters came running up to the four boys, a smile on his face.
" Hey guys! Hi, Eric!" Butters said, running up to Eric. He stood beside him, next to Kenny. Stan raised a brow, Kyle's mouth hung open, and Kenny's eyes widened.
" Um... Butters? What the hell are you doing here?" Stan asked.
" Oh... nothin'. I just thought I'd ride with you guys!" Butters said, smiling. All three boys looked at eachother, wondering why Butters thought he was allowed to wait at the bus stop with them.
" Um... Butters?" Eric began, his eyes moving from the left to the right. Butters looked at Eric.
" What... what are you doing here?" Eric asked nicely, rubbing his hands together nervously.
" Nothing, Eric. Why?" Butters asked, innocently. Eric had the urge to push Butters into the road as the bus came into view. Instead, he mentally cursed at the boy and clenched his fists.
" No reason. Enjoy the ride," Eric said, glaring at the snow covered ground. He could hear Kenny laughing and when he looked at Kyle and Stan, he found they both had questioning looks on their faces.
Eric sighed then he and Butters walked up to the bus' door once it came to a stop. Eric and Butters both stepped through the door at the first time and got stuck. Pulling themselves out, Eric glared at Butters and then sighed.
" Here. You can go first," Eric said, depressed. Butters smiled and stepped up the stairs.
" Why thank you, Eric!" he said, going to the back of the bus. Eric followed him and together they sat down.
Stan turned to Kyle once they found a seat.
" I think Cartman caught some gay when he went on that date with Butters," Stan told his friend.
" Yeah, I know! There's something fishy going on..." Kyle said, turning around in his seat and watching Cartman. The fat boy was playing patty cake with Butters. Kyle's eyes widened and he turned to face the front of the bus.
Stan noticed the worried look on Kyle's face.
" What is it, dude? What'd you see?" Stan asked, starting to turn around. Kyle grabbed Stan's shoulders.
" Don't look at him, Stan! Don't look at him!" Kyle pleaded. Stan sat back normally, choosing to listen to Kyle.
" Why, what are they doing?" Stan asked. Kyle sat still, his eyes unblinking.
" Cartman's been brainwashed. There's something wrong with him! Just... just promise me you won't look. Promise me," Kyle said.
" I... but I want to know what he's--" Stan began.
" I said promise me!!" Kyle exclaimed, shaking Stan.
"Alright, alright! I won't look, I swear!" Stan yelped. Kyle stopped shaking his friend and sat still, keeping his mind off the horrible thing he saw. He would have let Stan see but he really didn't want his best friend to catch the gay. Some things just couldn't be risked.
They just couldn't.