A/N: warning for smut at beginning of chapter!

Chapter 2

Nick's chest rose and fell with every hard breath he took, his legs tightly curled around Jeff's waist, holding him closer and meeting every thrust. His already dark eyes seemed deeper, like Jeff could fall into them, but he was glad that wasn't a real possibility because he'd never want to miss how Nick was looking at him for anything. Surely Nick knew, though; even though he looked up at him like he was everything, it wasn't completely true. He was only part of the everything that Nick belonged to.

Nick's eyes squeezed shut, his hands curled tight in Jeff's hair and making him moan with the power he could have over him, even when they were like this.

"Jeff," he moaned, a continuous string of bliss filled noises rolling off his tongue when Jeff took the hint and picked up the pace. He'd found the spot that made Nick scream long ago, teasing him a few times before angling his hips so he'd never miss, reducing Nick into a moaning mess. He linked his fingers through with one of Nick's hands, loving how with every part of his body, he found a way to cling to him. He needed him.

"I'm so glad you're mine," he whispered into Nick's ear, kissing him under the ear and feeling Nick squeeze his hand appreciatively.

"Jeff," he gasped, feeling the coiling in his stomach that meant he was close. "Jeff-"

"I've got you," he murmured. "Don't close your eyes, Nicky. Let me see you."

Nick whimpered, his hips snapping up to take as much of Jeff as he could, looking unwaveringly into Jeff's eyes. "Harder," he begged, fisting the duvet tighter in anticipation. Jeff pressed a rushed kiss against his lips, not letting go of his hand as he obliged to Nick's request, neither of them caring when the headboard hit repeatedly against the wall. When he felt himself getting close, too, he wound his hand around Nick's cock, pumping in time with his thrusts and not taking his eyes off Nick's face. His breath became ragged, and Nick's hips stuttered before Jeff's name erupted from his lips, echoing in Jeff's ears even when everything began to fade.

Jeff's eyes snapped open, chest heaving as he was thrown back into reality. His body was glistening with sweat, and he covered his face with his hands when he began to realise what happened. Shame filled him like a balloon about to pop, registering the sticky feeling in his boxers and immediately throwing the covers off, heading straight to the shower and letting the cold water pelt against him while he rested his head against the wall.

It wasn't the first time he'd had a sex dream about Nick. It wasn't a regular occurrence, exactly, but it had happened enough times for him to lose count, and worse for him was that Sebastian had been there to witness it once. It was all very well, the teasing that followed, but Jeff's real fear was that one day he'd have a dream like that in front of Nick. And if Sebastian's teasing was correct, he wasn't exactly a subtle dreamer.

He sighed, turning off the shower and wrapping his arms around himself. Nick was his best friend. His best friend who was definitely straight, and had no problem reminding him whenever he could.

Jeff still remembered clearly when he'd finally managed to come out. It was terrifying, but in a weird way, he was also taking a shot in the dark. He and Nick often found courage in each other. And Jeff knew that if he came out… If he was right about Nick, he would come out, too.

He wanted to do it while everyone was there, to avoid the process over and over. When the Warbler meeting ended, Jeff stood up, asking if he could please have the floor.

"The floor is yours, Warbler Jeff," Wes had said, his tone as composed as ever. Jeff nodded his head, standing up and looking around, far too afraid to meet Nick's eye.

"There's something… Uh… Um. I've come to the realisation… I-It's…" He scratched the back of his head, feeling Nick's eyes burning all kinds of questions into him but Jeff could only meet his gaze very briefly before looking straight ahead, holding his head high and wearing a small smile. "I'm gay."

There was a chorus of cheering around him, and Jeff blushed, wondering if the others had actually suspected it themselves. Sebastian clapped him on the back and winked, telling him he'd happily help him out if Jeff needed help exploring his sexuality. Jeff giggled, blushing harder and politely declining Sebastian's offer. Wes gave him a curt nod from the desk, twirling the gavel in his hand while some people even got up to hug Jeff. It might have been a lot, but these people knew Jeff, and they knew he was the type to enjoy the warmth and approval of his peers. But even with the words of praise, the arms around him and the people who swore they knew all along, Jeff felt his heart sinking. He turned to his left, searching for the eyes of the one person he truly needed all of this from – but Nick's eyes were fixed ahead of him, his jaw clenched and his arms folded. Jeff looked at him long enough for Nick to be aware that his eyes were on him, but he didn't look up; merely shuffled uncomfortably under Jeff's gaze.

Nick couldn't look at him.

"Nick, would you say grace?"

"Mom…"

"Please, dear."

Nick pursed his lips together, glaring at his mother and hating how she purposefully avoided his gaze. It wasn't that Nick disrespected the tradition – it was the fact he couldn't help feel whenever his mom asked him to do something like this, it was like she was trying to keep him in check. As though what she was really asking was, have you gone in the same direction as half your friends have yet? Nick did his best, though. His family was his family. Even if he did wish his parents were around more to actually do things with them. Instead, it was a series of expensive holidays and family dinners, which his mom now cooked herself instead of hiring kitchen staff to do it. It was a start.

"So, Nick," his mom spoke again, and Nick used a lot of willpower not to roll his eyes. "Any girls you have your eye on?"

"Not since you asked yesterday," Nick replied, smiling sweetly and trying to sound the least sarcastic he could.

"It's been a while, Nick," his sister, Lucy, quipped, twirling spaghetti on her fork. "You sure you're not keeping something from us?"

"If I am, it's a surprise to me, too," Nick muttered, not looking up. Even with his eyes fixed on his plate, he knew Lucy was smirking at him. "How's the job search going, Lucy?" Nick asked, raising his eyebrows. Lucy's expression suddenly turned sour, her eyes silently telling him well played. Now it was Nick's turn to smirk.

It wasn't that his sister didn't have a job – she did, but their parents wouldn't approve of Lucy's modelling gig in the slightest. Luckily for her, their dad was far too busy to pay much attention to his daughter's life, and their mom wasn't an avid reader of any magazines, but Nick knew. Although he couldn't help feel big brotherish over some of the things the companies made her do or wear, he did his best to support her – because he knew, despite the brains in her head, this was what Lucy wanted.

"How about Jeff?" his dad asked suddenly, and Nick suddenly felt very nervous, but did all he could not to let it show. "He's round here so much, I don't see how he possibly could."

"He's not really looking for a relationship right now, dad," Nick smiled, hoping they'd just blow it off. "He'll find someone, someday."

"Has he ever had a girlfriend? I could swear you mention different girls now and then, Nick, but then we never hear anything about them!"

Nick tried his best not to growl in annoyance, clenching his fist under the table but turning to smile sweetly as his mom. Sometimes he wondered if his parents discussed their tactics on how to interrogate him. "You know, I'm sure he must've mentioned it but it's slipped my mind. Oh, well."

"For all the time the two of you spend together, you'd think you'd know something like that," his mom laughed, catching the eye of her husband. Nick had to clench his jaw.

"You know, actually? I think he was talking about this girl. I zone out sometimes."

"Oh, really?" his mother asked, and Nick nodded, smiling and shrugging.

"Stacey or Sophie or something. Really pretty. Goes to Crawford."

"Oh, how lovely," his mom smiled, and Nick was satisfied she was off his back, nodding at his mother but taking his phone out under the table. He hated having to do this.

'You've got a new girlfriend, if my mom asks,' he typed. 'Her name is Stacey. She's from Crawford. I hope you two are very happy together.'

He sent the text, hoping his teasing would soften the blow for Jeff. He wasn't ashamed of his best friend, but he couldn't tell his strict, God loving, rather-stuck-in-the-old-ways mom and dad that his best friend was gay. Especially when said best friend spent quite literally half his time there.

When Jeff had told him, he didn't know what to feel. His initial reaction admittedly wasn't a good one – how could Jeff announce something like that in front of everyone without telling him first? He knew it was stupid, but he felt betrayed. He and Jeff told each other everything, and to find out something as big as that in front of everyone… it made Nick feel unneeded, almost. But a part of him envied him. Jeff literally stood up and told everyone, all at once, that he was gay, and he'd even said it with a smile. Nick didn't understand how he could do that. He wished he could be as free as him.

But mainly, he feared for the nature of his and Jeff's relationship, especially when they were very close anyway. Would this change anything? Did Jeff expect something for him? Nick resented himself for his own reaction, but at the same time, just for a few minutes, he resented Jeff. It was possibly the worst few minutes of his life.

'Stacy,' Nick suddenly saw light up on his phone, and he bit his lip nervously. 'Was your mom not happy with my relationship with Sky, the public school girl? Tell her I was going through a phase! I can change!'

Nick made the mistake of laughing out loud, not realising his whole family had been in deep conversation about something very serious. His face fell, looking around apologetically before turning back to his phone.

'Don't you dare change, Sterling,' Nick warned, smiling down at his cell. 'I'll round up all your made up girlfriends and there will be an intervention.'

'Nicky, please. My poor heart can't take that.'

Nick bit his lip to stop himself laughing again, propping his chin on his hand before another text from Jeff came through.

'Can you tell your mom I'm dating twins? I want straight-Jeff to date twins.'

'No, she'll try and make us share!' Nick typed, but couldn't help wonder what his mom would say. He was finally caught out for texting but his dad, who demanded he hand over his phone, but not before Nick caught one last reply from Jeff;

'Hmmm. I don't like sharing, Nicky.'

You're straight, he immediately reminded himself, when his mind jumped to conclusions on reading Jeff's text that made his heart beat ten times faster. It wasn't the first time he'd caught a peek at Jeff's possessive side – and it wasn't the first time he had to remind himself he was straight because of it.

He really needed a girlfriend.