What if?

~~~~~ Chapter 2 ~~~~~

He was about to speak when the door closed on him.

What?

How ridiculous was this? Really, he was worried sick about her, he'd summoned all his courage to come here looking like himself and the minute she finally appeared before him, she just closed the door on him? Well, what else was he expecting? She'd shut him down as Ren already, it was his fault for trying to force Corn on her.

At least she looked healthy.

But what was he supposed to do now? He was already reassured from just seeing her, should he walk away and let her rest? He was here now, she'd seen him. Should he ring the doorbell a second time? Did she actually not want to see him? Should he just go back home?

Luckily for him, the door opened again shortly thereafter. Kyoko's frowning face appeared in the gap and he smiled.

"Kyoko," he said.

oOo

She poked her head carefully through the doorframe and stared, as the vision spoke her name with enhanced killing power. Was she supposed to survive that?

"Corn?" she asked.

"Kyoko."

Her heart seemed to stop as her name came so informally out of the bewitching lips of Tsuruga-san, that Corn was using again for some reason.

She closed the door once more and took a deep breath.

Like she needed that right now. Now, of all times! Just seeing him looking like that, it felt like there were butterflies swarming her insides, and here he was, calling her by name like it was nothing. What was he doing here? Why was he looking like Tsuruga san again?

"Who is it?" asked Okami-san from the kitchen.

"It's for me!" Kyoko explained in a panic before she reopened the door, "I'll be out for a bit, don't wait up!" She grabbed her jacket and stepped outside hurriedly, finally closing the door behind her.

oOo

He couldn't help but be a bit amused as he watched her thread her way through the barely open door and close it immediately behind her, as if she was afraid that his mere presence was a threat to the safety of her home inside. She leaned against the door and reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his.

"What are you doing here?" she admonished him in a hushed whisper.

Her whole face was pink and she kept averting her eyes. She seemed unable to look at him for two seconds straight. There were no words to express how relieved he was to find her unscathed.

He took a small step and slowly wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know what else to do. There were no words, really. He had been so shaken up when Yashiro had told him what happened. He never wanted to feel like that again. But here she was, and he could squeeze her tight, and make sure she was safe in his arms. Maybe he was selfish, but he just wanted to hold her right now. He had already decided she was his reason for wanting to be alive. He held her close to him and breathed in her scent. What would be left of him if she was taken from his world?

oOo

This is bad. It was so warm and soothing to be in Corn's arms. She couldn't even resist. It would have been so comforting if it didn't remind her so much of being held by Tsuruga-san.

Her insides twisted.

"I had to see you," He whispered against her hair.

She felt so safe, here with Corn. She wouldn't mind staying there for hours. But it was bad. It wasn't Corn she was thinking of exactly, not in this moment. She remembered being in Tsuruga-san's arms before, when she thought he was Corn. It felt exactly the same, how was she supposed to differentiate the two? Kyoko was so lost… but all of her previous worries had been wiped from her mind.

He moved back, caressing the side of her face softly and she couldn't escape his gaze. He looked at her so earnestly. Something that resembled a mix of worry and sadness could be seen in his eyes.

oOo

She frowned at him when he moved back. Did she understand? Did she perceive how much he cared? He would have given anything to keep her there, close to him forever. He couldn't get enough of her. She would reprimand him for this but… He couldn't hold back, he leaned in and gently touched his lips to hers. It lasted less than a second but he was reinvigorated with this simple short contact of their lips.

His hand had never left her cheek and he brushed her bangs behind one ear as he drew back.

"Wh.. Corn!" she stammered, her voice rising in volume.

Yes, this was the expected reaction. She was definitely ok. He smiled.

"Wha… What do you think you're doing?!"

In truth, there were several reasons for his kiss. First, and this pissed him off to admit it, but he was kind of keeping score with Fuwa – the fact that the singer had kissed her a second time was really irritating, so at least they were even now. Second, he felt bad himself for getting kissed by someone else, and the slightest brush of her lips was the equivalent of that kiss being wiped from his memory. Of course, these were reasons he couldn't share with her. At least not like that, or not before he did some explaining.

"I'm sorry, I…" The reason he finally admitted to was also true, though, "I missed you Kyoko."

oOo

This was the third time. Without honorifics. And that hug. And that kiss. Corn is worse than Tsuruga-san! Why would he just kiss her like that? She regretted giving him the permission to call her by name too! She'd only allowed it then, because she expected she'd have a chance to summon another man's appearance before they met again. Well, if she was honest, there was no man whose appearance she knew to summon more vividly than Tsuruga-san's. She was struggling to keep her emotional turmoil from her face. Had Corn already figured out her feelings?

Maybe he didn't need to borrow the voice a second time once he had it in store? She felt both blessed and cursed, in this situation. This beloved face would always warm her heart, whether she'd want it or not, and yet, it was a painful reminder of what she could never have. Was Corn using Tsuruga-san's face by default now? Were her feelings so obvious that Tsuruga-san's face would automatically replace Corn's from now on? This is a nightmare. Should she address the matter?

oOo

The way she was wriggling against the door was too cute. He felt guilty for kissing her. Calling her by name seemed to affect her notably too. But he was done acting, he had decided to let her see him now. And though she didn't even realize it, she'd seen the true him already. The real him, behind the fairy, behind the actor. Ever since Guam, he'd known it would just be a matter of time. Had she not even mistaken Ren for Corn, before? He wanted her to know. He didn't want to hide from her. He was not going to mislead her ever again and he intended to make his feelings clear.

oOo

"Corn," She breathed, trying to gather her composure, "We shouldn't stay here."

She didn't want to bring unwanted attention to the restaurant.

"Yes," Corn smiled down at her beautifully, and she felt her heart clenching when he reached for her hand, "Walk with me?"

There was a tingling sensation when her fingers met with his. He closed his hand on hers and when he started walking, she couldn't help but feel like Setsu following Cain into the night. Which was stupid, really. Corn doesn't have anything to do with it, she reminded herself. Now was not the time to get confused and treat Corn like he was Cain - or worse, like he was Tsuruga-san.

As she followed him under the dim light of the street lamps, she let her eyes wander over his frame. What is Corn thinking of now? She realized she had not once considered Corn's feelings since she found him at her door. He said he had to see her. That made her warm inside. He hugged her like she was the most precious existence to him on this earth… It felt like… What were Corn's feelings towards her?

She had to think about Corn too. How was all of this affecting Corn? Maybe it was hard on him too? It wasn't Corn's fault that his adult form was more difficult to discern. Surely, the reason he used Tsuruga-san's appearance was only because it was the most developed existence in Kyoko's mind. Did he even consider how bittersweet it was for her to see him looking like that? And maybe… well, was it not painful for Corn too? After all, Corn himself had… confessed to her. And so, she wondered… what were her feelings for this Corn?

oOo

She followed him silently, and he felt her eyes on him. Walking hand in hand with her felt so right. There was no doubt left in his mind. He was set on his decision.

He slowed down when they entered the park and he let go of her hand, eyeing her discreetly. She looked around and blushed.

"Is this place ok?" He asked her.

"Yes!" She hesitated "This is the place where…" she stopped short, "Forget it."

She walked to the bench and sat down. Was she thinking about that time? He wondered.

"What about this place?" he asked innocently.

"I said forget it," she repeated in a voice that closed off any discussion. Of course she's thinking about that time.

She looked at him, then at the bench, making it clear what she expected from him. He sat down next to her and she took a deep breath.

"Ok, I'm ready," she declared.

"Ready?" For what?

"I'm thinking of another man," she explained, "So you can do the voice magic again."

Oh, that hurt.

"You really are bothered by this face," he commented.

"Of course I am!" she whined, "Come on, Corn… why are you confusing me like that?" She looked at him with pleading eyes, "I told you already, any other man will do."

That really hurt.

oOo

"Would you rather I look like Sho-chan?" Corn raised an eyebrow.

Yeah right, try that if you want to be smacked.

"No! Of course not, it's just…" It would be so much easier talking to you, hell just looking at you would be easier, if you didn't look like the person I… like… like the person I love.

"This man is one I…" she paused, "Deeply respect. I'm sure you've figured out at least that much."

She felt her cheeks warm up but she went on, "And it's very disconcerting to be… like…" Oh god, this is horrible, "I mean," kissing, and… "I even mistook Tsuruga-san for Corn!" she finally blurted out.

"It's just… I mean… This is obviously wrong," She finished, exhausted by her efforts to explain.

"Why?" he asked innocently.

Come on, Corn! She looked in the other direction.

"Does Corn not realize?" Did he not understand that the reason Tsuruga-san was so present in her mind was that she loved him to her very core? "Corn kissed me!" Should she spell it out for him? Please, don't make me say it out loud! It would be so embarrassing, spilling the truth to that face.

"Didn't you see… last time?" she berated him, "When you rudely looked into my memories…"

This was so embarrassing.

oOo

He blinked. What is she talking about? What does she think I saw? Her voice was steady, but she was facing the other way, and he couldn't see her face. Was she referring to her memories of Ren that she suspected Corn saw with his alleged magic? And these memories would supposedly lead Corn to assume… assume what, really? Whatever she thought Corn assumed, she thought he made the right guess! He had to figure it out. Was she really talking about her feelings for Ren? He had to proceed carefully.

"It's just… this is easier for me," he chanced and to his greatest surprise, she just nodded. Why wasn't she questioning it more? Why was she not questioning it at all?

"I can't control it," she sighed, "I try to ignore it, but I can't."

He stopped breathing when she paused. "It" what?

"Even when I thought my life was going to end…" she shook her head, "I can't focus on anything else." She turned back to him with a piercing look, "You must think I'm so pathetic."

Ok. There had to be a logical connection he was missing, between him looking like himself and her being pathetic. Had she changed the subject, or was she still commenting on what she presumed he saw in her mind? It was something that supposedly justified his current appearance, so... He said in Guam that he was using the voice of the last person she thought of and she didn't protest. And here she was now, blushing while talking about… Was it really him she was talking about? Don't get too full of yourself, she's probably thinking about a totally different matter. He couldn't just ask her, could he?

He sighed. There were so many things he wanted to ask her… so many things he wanted to tell her.

"Kyoko?" The way she trembled when he called her name... He loved that. Would she get used to it if he said it every day? He loved saying her name, "I've always wondered…" he continued and smiled from the memory, "What made you think that I was a fairy in the first place?"

Note - Try to get out of this one Kyoko (you know she will!). So, we have almost reached the half already (I forgot to tell you it's 4 chapter + short silly epilogue), I hope it will be comforting enough!

Thank you so much for your nice comments and support, you are too kind.

Also the kindest ? artloife, thanks again for agreeing to beta :3