Me, Myself, and Naruto
Ch2: We Must Try
The first time I had seen Naruto in person I was surprised. He was just a kid like me. Not a hero with an accompanying epic background music. I had thought perhaps… was there a second Naruto? This was just the wrong one?
Right?
Kakashi-sensei only told us to clean up and be on the roof in five or else. No comment on us or the paper star that had slipped into his hair and peeked out at us. I couldn't decide if that was good or bad. We scrambled, threw the ammo in the trash, and were up on the roof in four.
"First, I'd like you to introduce yourselves." Kakashi dove right in as we sat ourselves down.
"Well, what should we say?" Sakura asked from my right.
I held my breath. The echo of an over read and over watched episode playing out before me again.
"Your likes, dislikes, your future dreams, hobbies, things like that."
"Hey, before that tell us about yourself." Naruto demanded more than asked from my left. Where I had been hesitant for them to flank me, I couldn't exactly sit the whole way at the edge of the building just to avoid it.
"Me? I am Kakashi Hatake." As Kakashi-sensei followed his lines expertly I laced my fingers together in front of my mouth and let my breath out quietly under the cover. "I don't feel like telling you guys about my likes and dislikes. I've never really thought about my future dream… as for hobbies, I have many."
"Now all we know is his name." Sakura was, understandably, unimpressed.
"Next is you guys. Let's start with you."
Naruto, given the opportunity to talk about his one true love in life, did so. I may have intentionally blocked out his sermon on the wonders of ramen. "-and my future dream is to surpass the Hokage! I'm going to get the entire village to acknowledge my existence!" I knew his intent before of course but… the village didn't deserve him.
Kakashi-sensei didn't comment. He simply gave Sakura the okay to go next. Wait wasn't Sakura's thing… I groaned internally. It was unfortunate that they'd notice if I substituted Naruto in my place. "I'm Sakura Haruno. What I like… I mean, who I like…" I refused to look over as she paused. "And, my hobby is, I mean…" She didn't actually say what she did for her hobby either. Somehow that was more worrying. "My future dream is…" She technically hadn't given us any more information than Kakashi-sensei. Did she realize that?
"And? What about your dislikes?" Kakashi-sensei prompted on que to keep the fangirl on task.
I glanced at her myself and unintentionally caught her eye for a moment. "Na- Nothing in particular." Interesting.
"And lastly." He turned to me.
With the focus on me I noticed for once that I was sitting in the same brooding way that had been depicted in the memories. I shifted, sat up strait, and crossed my arms instead. It occurred to me that crossed arms are a defensive posture in body language. I resisted the urge to move again though. I prefer defensive to nervous.
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha." Instead of looking our sensei in the eye I focused on the paper throwing star that was still peeking out of his hair. "I like pasta and tomatoes. I dislike people. My dream… is personal, so I'll give you a long-term goal instead. I will make sure a certain man suffers a long life. One where everything he ever has or will want is stripped from him until he either comes to his senses and begs for death or dies gruesomely on his own."
Silence. Well, I at least thought it was an improvement to memory-Sasuke's introduction. Though, I had to admit it was a partial lie. Itachi wasn't on the top of my list, he was on his own separate list. Family gets special treatment after all. He would suffer. I figured he already probably was in a way. When we meet again though, I would be sure to salt the wounds. I wonder how he'd react if he thought I died?
"And your hobbies?"
Oh, I did forget that part. I guess we were going to pretend I didn't get a bit dark there. That's… actually appreciated, though I doubt it was for my benefit.
"Training and food art."
"Good," He nodded at us. "You're all unique. We'll have a mission tomorrow." After he gave us the great news that we could fail tomorrow and warned us not to eat, we went our separate ways.
The first time I saw Sakura I didn't recognize her at first. The memory of her that had stuck with me the most didn't match this meek pink girl.
She didn't line up with the warrior who sliced through her own hair in the heat of battle. Let alone the woman those memories said she'd become.
It wasn't until I saw her with Ino that it clicked.
I packed a light breakfast.
Honestly, even if he'd been telling the truth, I'd rather vomit than dry heave. It took some convincing to get the other two to eat something. Sakura, naturally, caved first. We had finished well before Kakashi-sensei ever showed up. I hid the evidence just in case his implied suggestion was actually a serious order. His arrival was announced by Naruto and Sakura's combined efforts.
"YOU'RE LATE!"
As he explained the bell test, I wondered how I should go about this. I had a cheat sheet after all. I knew the answer to the question, and I hadn't earned it. Would there be any value left in the test if I just gave the answer away? For all of Kakashi-sensei's flaws, this was a valuable lesson he was offering. I could just let-
"-we'll just ignore the loser."
Even though it wasn't directed at me that got my hackles up. Naruto, the actual target of the jab, was livid. Kunai in hand he readied his attack. Grabbing a kunai of my own I darted behind Naruto without waiting to see if Kakashi would move. I knew I wouldn't see it in time.
I found myself rethinking Kakashi-sensei's warning about vomiting as my stomach summersaulted when the man himself appeared from thin air in front of me. The hand I was holding the kunai with was yanked up painfully and faster than I could follow I was pinned right along with Naruto.
"I didn't say start yet." His eye turned to me as he let us go, "But that was a good effort from both of you. Very promising. Now, if you're all ready- ready, start."
Even if I hadn't known that Naruto would jump out and demand a fair fight against an opponent that outclassed him in all aspects, it wouldn't have surprised me. I watched him struggle and kept as close as I dared. I waited for Kakashi to use the sign of the tiger. I couldn't call it a plan, but step one was to spare Naruto from experiencing One Thousand Years of Death… if I could.
There it was!
"Naruto, get out of there quick!" Sakura's shout rang out as I chucked a kunai at Kakashi's book. It was deflected. I didn't even see what deflected it, but the weapon buried itself in the ground after an abrupt change in trajectory. It was too late for Naruto, but I had one more attack of my own.
Tone as accusing and suspicious as I could muster, "Kakashi. Are you a pedophile?" I heard Sakura choke from somewhere below me.
If looks could kill. The chill that ran up my spine had me bolting to find a new hiding place.
"How's it hanging?" I had lost track of everyone until I finally found Naruto dangling from a tree.
"Shut up you bastard and get me-", In a swift motion I threw a kunai at the rope. Naruto only had a moment to yelp as he fell to the ground. He sprung back up quickly enough. "What the heck was that for?! You could have warned me!" I tilted my head at him, one eyebrow raised. His lip puckered as he pouted in return, but he couldn't keep the silence going for long. "I was about to get myself down anyway. So, there's no reason for me to thank you if that's what you're waiting for. Oh! I almost had a bell you know. I bet you haven't gotten close yet, right? Well I'll get it next time just you wait!"
A shriek echoed through the forest and our heads jerked in the direction. We looked back at each other. Sakura. I jerked my head towards the source. Naruto's eyes widened briefly then, fists clenched, he nodded, and we were off.
We got there just in time for Sakura to wake up… (un)fortunately. "Sasuke! You're okay!" She lunged, clung, and ignored my hand pushing her away.
"Tell me." I said as I finally pried her off off me, "Do you know what a genjutsu is?"
Her eyebrows scrunched up and after a moment she hesitantly replied, "Well… of course I do. You'd know too of course, but a genjutsu is a ninja art of mind control. It's usually used to place an enemy under an illu…sion… to…to…. Ohhhh…" She hung her head and groaned muttering about the tells she should have noticed.
"Wait, so you were put under a genjutsu?" Naruto caught on, "He's really not holding anything back is he… but I have to pass! I won't go back!"
I looked back and forth between the two of them. Sakura sulking in the face of her slip up and Naruto who… well… From his stern expression, the fist clenched in front of him, and occasional nod, I assumed he was giving himself a silent pep talk. Or plotting something. Or maybe thinking about ramen. Actually, who knows with him. It could be all three at the same time.
I really could have just suggested teamwork right then. Sakura would jump at the chance if I was the one who suggested it. As long as I said we needed Naruto she probably wouldn't fight it. I figured it was a 70/30 chance, in our favor, that Naruto would join in if asked. The chance increased if I pointed out that if we didn't get a bell at all no one passed. It would be easy. I'd just open my mouth and… even with the answer handed to them, would they figure it out.
I doubted Kakashi-sensei was just looking for an alliance. In the memories he passed team seven for going as far as to go against the rules to help each other out. Perhaps I had been reading into it too much, but I felt It had to come from one of them. But… perhaps a nudge would be okay?
"He's stronger than us. He wouldn't be a jonin if he were only as capable as a single genin." I continued eyeing them both. Looking for a sign that one of them might catch on. "So, what can we do? We're outclassed."
"Oooo! I know! I know what we can do!" I perked up at Naruto. "We should steal the lunches instead! He won't be protecting them so they should be easier to get. Then we can argue that we still got something from him, he'll have to pass us!" My eye twitched. I… I think I should have known better. I chucked a snack bar that I had kept in my pocket at his face. As it pinged off the bridge of his nose, he gave a satisfying yelp. At least he seemed to have gotten the 'we' part right.
"We could try to pull off a coordinated attack." I felt my neck gave a small pop as I twisted it in Sakura's direction. "Like with the paper stars… though on purpose this time."
"There's only two bells." I stated it as a detail that was worth note, tone carefully neutral. I had to say it, but I didn't want either to infer that I didn't approve of the idea. I couldn't however risk one of them remembering that detail in the thick of it and… changing tactics.
"We could have a contest after we get them to see who deserves the bell more!" I turned my head back to find him making this declaration with his mouth full of the snack bar that I had tossed at him.
"That should work… but don't talk with your mouth full."
We set to work planning our big attack.
I'm still not sure what it was, but I had expected them to fix something. To complete something. Just by existing. The world, the village, me?
I was afraid.
They were essentially destined to be the closest thing I would have to best friends. To family. What if I messed it all up by being too different? What if they would prefer the Sasuke who would leave them?
So, I ignored them.
We hashed out our plan but… well…
"Times up. You failed." Kakashi appeared behind us sending all three of a skittering away with the leaves and wind that displaced with his sudden arrival.
"What?!" Though I didn't join in with their outburst, I did agree with it. The alarm hadn't even gone off yet.
"No bells were claimed." He gestured lazily in the direction of the alarm somewhere behind him as it did go off. I had expected him to start criticizing us, as the memory of him had, but instead his gaze turned to me. I resisted shrinking back under the silence and the intensity of his gaze. My lips thinned and eyes narrowed. I couldn't get a read from the one impassive eye that I could see. What did he want? What was he waiting for?
Wait… would he?
Naruto was unable to stay quiet in the face of all of this, "Hey now! That's not even fair! You…" He fumbled a moment, "You wasted the last few minutes we had by saying we were out of time before we actually were! We could'a had it by then!"
Kakashi's eye slipped from me to the loud distraction that was Naruto. Carefully I shifted my arm up and behind my head as if I was scratching an itch. I gestured to Sakura quickly behind the cover of my head. From the corner of my eye I saw her head turn and her gaze went past Kakashi. Her eyes widened before darting back to me. She gave a small subtle nod that I returned.
I pulled my face into a cold sneer. Lips twisting to bare my teeth, I clenched my fists. "It's your fault." I stage whispered to test the words in a breathy growl. I immediately had Kakashi's attention back on me. Naruto, still pleading our case for another attempt, was slower to pick up on my change. I stomped a few steps past Sakura who, with a small alarmed gasp, backed away and circled behind me.
I kept my eyes locked on Naruto as I stalked toward him. Realizing he no longer had Kakashi's attention he followed his gaze to me. Blue eyes met my black ones and widened. His brows knitted for a moment before shooting up as I yelled, "It's all YOUR FAULT!" I lunged for him tackling him to the ground. "IF I HADN'T WASTED TIME ON GETTING YOU DOWN FROM THE TREE!" I snarled grabbing his jacket to pull us face to face, "IF I HADN'T WASTED TIME ON YOU, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A BELL!"
His eyes watered, but the tears didn't fall. Fuck. I felt my heart break a little. He was used to being rejected. Shit. He was used to being blamed, being the scapegoat. Naruto hadn't caught on that I was improvising a few changes to the plan. Shit. He thought I meant it. Kakashi could also still see my face from this angle. I couldn't drop the act to make myself clear right now without giving up the ruse. Fuck. The look on Naruto's face soured. His wide eye's fell to half lidded and dulled… I… I can't do this. Not if he thinks it's real. I can't. I can't, I won't, I can't. I trembled the sneer fell slightly, only held by a moment of indecision where I considered dropping everything and marching myself back to the academy voluntarily.
"Naruto! Sasuke! No!"
Sakura's voice rang out and I could see the light bulb switch on. Naruto sagged in my grip for a moment before the fire in him returned full force. He snarled back at me "My fault?! MY FAULT?!" A wordless battle cry left his throat and we were off. We tumbled across the grass at each other's throats. Threats and insults devolved quickly into snarls as we keyed in on Sakura's verbal ques that were disguised as frantic calls for us to stop or calm down. It all happened in a matter of seconds and a quick kick to the gut sent Naruto into the cover of a bush. I lunged in after him then screamed like a wounded animal.
"Guys! Stop it!" Sakura's call let us know Kakashi was taking the bait.
When Kakashi appeared on the other side of the bush he found Naruto, looking a little haggard with a shallow cut across his cheek, and me on the ground clutching a kunai that was imbedded in my side. Blood soaked into my blue shirt and my body visibly trembled. I got up favoring the wound. With a wordless shout I ripped the weapon out and made like I was going to go after Naruto with it.
Kakashi had me pinned against him. Though it was quick I noticed he was careful of my wounded side though I still yelped at the sudden movement. A quick look over my shoulder and I caught Naruto's eyes. He was pinned to Kakashi's other side.
"NOW!" Sakura's cry came from above, Kakashi's head whipped up to find her foot descending towards his face. His grip on us loosened and we used the opportunity for what it was. Naruto and I grabbed for the bells. I saw both of us make contact, felt the cool metal. Two delicate chimes rang quietly.
Kakashi caught on and darted away from us before we could secure our grip. The clones that Naruto had set up in the shrubbery lunged out behind him keeping the pressure on him behind giving Sakura a chance at it. She made her own swipe for the bells but came up short. As he dispersed a few clones Naruto slipped around to his right and I mirrored him on the left to flank. A clone barreled down on his back and Sakura threw weapons at him from afar.
For his part, Kakashi's moves were liquid. His shoulder curled in giving Sakura's projectiles just enough room to pass uninhibited. Right up until they caught on an unlucky clone behind him. Using the same movement of his upper torso he brought his arm down into the real Naruto as he pulled in close.
I didn't have much time, I knew I was next. Kakashi's next move would bring me down. I pushed and strained and reached. It was there. I felt the cool metal against my fingers again. Then promptly ate dirt.
I faintly heard the noon-time alarm go off.
For real this time.
Note: Two quick things,
One, thank you all for your favorites and reviews! It means a lot to me.
Two, I originally was going to have Sasuke get the bells at the end. It was going to be because the alarm went off and Kakashi decided to stop, mostly to see what Sasuke would do with them. In a fit of indecision though I broke out my D20 and rolled an agility check. It was low, but I figured I'd give him advantage. Kakashi was flanked after all. The next roll was lower. No bells for Sasuke.