A/N: I'm so overwhelmed by the response to this story! Glad you guys love it
CPOV
"You've got to be shittin me" Elliott laughs as he raises his shot. "Ana is baby, Christian. Yes, her and Kate are close in age and yes she is very mature in some ways but Kate says she's very clueless when it comes to the opposite sex"
"There's something about her, El" I says rubbing a hand over my mouth. "Maybe it is her innocence"
"No it's the fact that you cream your panties for any pale, pretty brunette"
"I do not"
"Uh hello, denial? Can we please talk about your last 4 submissives?"
"That was a coincidence"
"Yeah bull shit... No Christian, she's too young and she's Kate's best friend"
"So what do you care?"
"I don't"
"Now who's in denial? You're falling for this broad, aren't you?"
"Shut up"
"Holy shit, do you love her?"
"Love doesn't work in this lifestyle"
"So you've said"
"Well... I did talk to a friend of mine from work. Had no idea he was in it till I ran into him at a club outside of Portland... with his wife. He had her collared and on a leash" he shakes his head. "I had no idea. The next day he pulled me aside and told me she was his submissive for a 6 months before they realized they were in love. They continued that in the bedroom but outside of the bedroom they were a regular couple, and they were married within the year. Have three kids now"
"Wow"
"So I guess sometimes it works?"
"Really now." I say and can't help the thought of a pregnant Ana popping into my head. Fuck! Christian stop it.
"Shit dude, you should see your face"
I snap out of my thoughts and see Elliott sporting a smug grin. "What?"
He shakes his head. "Just be careful, C"
I down the scotch in front of me. "No you're right.. she's just too young. Well maybe not even young but just innocent. It almost feels like.." I trail off and I can feel Elliott's eyes boring into me.
"Dont you even fucking go there, it is not the same. You are nothing like that witch" he spits out.
"It feels like it.."
"You were 15, C and she took advantage of you, I was 14! Had never even seen a set of tits" he rubs his eyes. "She lured us both into that fucking sex dungeon. Still can't believe I didn't see what she was doing to you. I knew her tricks" he shakes his head.
"Will you cut that out? I told you to stop blaming yourself. You always do this when we drink. Get all in your feelings like a little girl, like 'I should have protected you. I'm so sorry'" I mimic in a high pitched voice. "Relax, I don't blame you."
"Had I known I would have... ended her. To think she did to you what she did to me"
"And you thought you were so special" I smirk.
"Fuck off." He barks. "I recall you being just as shocked that we were now a different kind of brothers"
I grimace thinking about the term "Eskimo brothers". "Can you not? I try to block out the fact that we both slept with her. But you're right, she had me so convinced it was just me.."
"At least we both got something out of it."
"She would have done anything to keep our parents from finding out"
"Or the people at the club" he adds.
I nod in agreement recalling the 'hush money' she essentially gave us both to keep quiet. I never dreamed of telling anyone what happened but Elliott was infuriated when he found out about us and threatened to expose us all until Elena offered us both a check for 100 thousand knowing we both had dreams of starting our own businesses. I never knew if Elliott was so pissed because he was jealous or feeling protective of his little brother. I guess I'll never know for sure. "You ever talk to her?"
"Fuck no! Do you?"
"She calls every once in a while, but no not after she moved to Florida"
"Just thinking about her pisses me off. Let's talk about something else... like you and little Ana" he nudges me.
"There's nothing to talk about.. we kissed" And I haven't stopped thinking about it since.
XXXXXXXXXXX
I'm walking through my penthouse apartment and the silence is haunting. Maybe I should listen to Taylor and hire someone.. like a housekeeper or house manager whatever he calls it. Because all of this space is starting to creep me out. I was elated when this penthouse opened up in this building. It's got the best view and overall beautiful. I walk up the stairs towards my playroom and open the door. I'm immediately hit with the smell of lemon from the Pledge I used on it earlier. I haven't been in here in about a week but I still like to clean it even when I haven't used it. I run my hand along the flogger and close my eyes picturing Ana's ass turning a delicious shade of pink. My eyes pop open and I scratch my stubble willing the vision away. No Christian.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I see that Welch has sent over the information I requested on Ana.
ANASTASIA ROSE STEELE
DOB: December 10, 1999 Montesano, WA
Address: 1114 SW Green Street Seattle, WA 98888
Mobile No: 360-959-4352
Email address: AnaRSteele
Social Security No: 987-65-4320
Bank: Wells Fargo Bank, Vancouver, WA
Acct. No.: 309361 $1846.04 balance
Occupation: BDA (Ballet Dance Academy) Associate Instructor
Education: Montesano Sr. High School
Early Admission Acceptance:
Harvard University
Yale University
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Stanford University
Washington State University
Princeton University
Georgetown University
GPA: 4.26
SAT Score: 2150
Father: Franklin A. Lambert, DOB: Sept. 1, 1969,
Deceased December 11, 1999
Mother: Carla May Wilks Adams DOB: July 18, 1970
m. Frank Lambert March 1, 2000
widowed December. 11, 2000
m. Raymond Steele June 6, 2001
Political Affiliations: None Found
Religious Affiliations: None Found
Sexual Orientation: Not Known
Relationships: None Indicated at Present
I frown when I see that she's already lost her father. It must be her stepfather that's sick. But the frown is replaced when I see all of the schools probably fighting to get her to come to their school. And that GPA. Wow. My girl is brilliant. Your girl? Christian get a grip. My fingers are itching to text her, call her, email her.. but it's 3 in the morning.
XXXXXXXXXXX
I sit at my desk at GEH unable to get my mind off of anything but the bright blue eyes that filled my dreams last night. A night of sleep with no nightmares.. can it all be attributed to her? I decide to grow a pair and shoot her an email.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Chemistry
Date: October 21, 2016 10:45:32
To: Anastasia Steele
Good morning, Anastasia. I trust your chemistry exam went well. I've given some thought to your question on whether we would see each other again. I think it's a good idea, so I was wondering if you would join me for dinner tonight? If you can pry yourself away from your studies and the ballet barre?
Ps. Anastasia, huh? I like that
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I'm delighted when I have an almost immediate reply
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Re: Chemistry Indeed
Date: October 21, 2016 10:48:30
To: Christian Grey
Well hello, stranger! The exam was a breeze. I'm glad that you've come to your senses and have found that not seeing each other would be a shame. Unfortunately, weeknights are pretty tough for me. I have rehearsals or work every night except Mondays. Unless you'd be free tomorrow after 9? On Wednesdays my last class ends at 8:30. Would just need to figure out something to tell my parents...
Ps. Only my parents call me Anastasia when I'm in trouble... but something tells me you'll be calling me that a lot in the future ;)
Ana
Not A CEO, and it's pretty cool that you are at only 23
I am unable to stop the slow smile moving onto my lips as I quickly email her back.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Re: Chemistry Indeed
Date: October 21,2016 10:49:56
To: Anastasia Steele
I'm glad to hear about your test. You certainly are a busy bee for only 17. Do you ever have any fun? It's a foreign concept to me as well, but I remember most people in high school having a lot of it. I would hate for you to lie to your parents about your whereabouts as I recall you saying you don't usually do that... perhaps Monday then? As much as I don't want to wait that long, I wouldn't want to have you out too late on a school night.
Christian Grey
CEO, and it's not all it's cracked up to be, but it pleases me that it impresses you
I'm sitting at my desk a few hours later when there's a ping in my inbox. My eyes light up when I see the name.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Re: Foreign Concepts?
Date: October 21,2016 1:30:31
To: Christian Grey
A foreign concept to you too? You didn't have fun in high school? Head in the books as well? What's your excuse? As far as what to tell my parents, it would be worth telling a little fib to see you again. I'll let you know :)
PS I am not easily impressed
Ana
I close the email without answering her questions. Why didn't I have fun in high school? Because Elena wouldn't let me? Who's Elena, you ask? Oh just my mother's best friend that seduced myself and my brother at different times? Fuck. Hopefully I never have to taint her with that bullshit.
APOV
I'm staring up at this huge building in front of me and look back down at the address on my phone under the words "Arrived at Destination." Holy shit, he owns this whole building? Well, in you go Ana.. you didn't play hooky from practice and work to just stand out here all day. The thought of lying to her parents didn't exactly appeal to her so she lied to her dance team instead. A few coughs and a perfectly timed sneeze was all she needed to get out of three hours of practice and two hours of work. At least she could be home around the same time and her parents would be none the wiser. She walks through the front doors and immediately feels inadequate as she takes in her surroundings. She was wearing her most appealing sweater dress with tights and heeled booties under a leather jacket but she felt out of place in the sea of sky high Louboutins and Chanel suits. She approaches the concierge on the main floor and bites her lip nervously.
"Hi.. I'm here to see Christian Grey"
"Of course you are dear, do you have an appointment?" The security eyes me.
"Um.. no. I mean.. yes?"
"Nice try, but if you don't have an appointment I'm going to have to ask you to leave"
"But.. I think he'd really like to see me. Can you just call up there?"
"Mr. Grey is a very busy man, you don't just call up there" he says as he looks down at me over his glasses.
"Fine" I roll my eyes. "I'll shoot him an email" I sit on a couch and shoot him an email and within seconds my phone is vibrating in my hands.
"Hello?" I answer nervously even though I know who it is
"What do you mean you're here?"
"I.. wanted to surprise you. Since dinner would be a little late I blew off practice" There's silence on the end of the line and I begin to panic. "I'm sorry, I should have called.. I'm sure you're busy. I just thought you'd be wrapping up for the day right around now, I should have known-"
"Taylor is on his way down to collect you" he interrupts.
"Who's Taylor?"
"My driver"
"Does he know what I look like? I don't know what he looks like.. how will he find me?"
"Oh he'll find you. You're hard to miss in that plum colored dress"
I gasp and look around. "You can see me?"
"I can. And you look beautiful"
I try to hide my blush although I know his cameras couldn't possibly see that well. "Thank you"
"Miss Steele?" I look up to see a tall man staring down at me.
"I think Taylor is here, I'll see you in a second" I say before hanging up. "Are you Taylor?"
"Yes ma'am" he nods as I begin to follow him through the lobby.
"Oh ma'am isn't necessary. Please call me Ana"
"Okay, Ana" he smiles slightly.
I'm whisked up the elevator to the 17th floor and when we open it there's a woman waiting in front of the elevator.
"Hello Miss Steele. Can I take your coat? Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Water?"
My eyes widen. "Umm sure." I pull off my coat and hand it to her. "Nothing to drink, thank you"
"Follow me please"
"Okay"
I follow her through the lobby and through a large set of doors and smile when I see Christian sitting at his desk. His eyes immediately dart up and he smiles wildly. Before I can even say anything he's out of his chair and I'm in his arms.
"I can't believe you played hooky from practice. Bad girl" he whispers in my ear as I feel his nose trace the side of my face. I'm wondering if he's going to kiss me again, but he merely kisses my forehead and backs away motioning to come to the couch.
"My friend is covering my class and we don't have any competitions coming up so it's just two hours of floor routines, barre exercises and practicing our form" I say rolling my eyes. "They can miss me for one day"
"How lucky for me" he says as he holds my hands with his. He strokes my hands with his thumbs and I can't stop the shiver that moves through me. "Cold?"
I shake my head no and nervously tuck a hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry I didn't call first"
"Don't be, it is a wonderful surprise. And I love that your hair is down" he says running his hands through it.
"I thought you would like it"
"I do. Anyway, as much as I would love to blow off the rest of the day I have a conference call at 4:30... do you think you can bear with me until 5?"
"Oh, I can go, do you want me to go?"
"No" he says commanding. "I want you here"
"Okay" I say softly.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
I shake my head. "I can wait for you"
"Great, I shouldn't be long. Be thinking about what you'd like" He sits back in his chair and shoots me a wink. He starts his call and I take the opportunity to walk around his office. I'm in awe at the view from his window. How does he get anything done? I'd be staring out these all day! I walk away from the windows and see a line of paintings and smile. How extraordinary. I'm almost scared to touch anything in here, it's so clean. I turn around and see the smoldering look he's giving me and my eyes widen. He's out of the chair and moving towards me and the way he's stalking towards me I almost want to run. He puts a finger to his lips to make sure I'm quiet before he traces a finger over my face. He spins me around to face the paintings and his lips are on my neck in an instant. I moan at the contact and slap a hand over my mouth hoping I wasn't too loud. I hear him chuckle before I feel that wet warm muscle moving over my pulse point and his teeth nibbling. "You taste delicious" he murmurs.
My eyes widen and slightly turn and motion to the phone his mouth never making contact with my neck. "I'm on mute"
I nod and I feel him start to suck and I wonder if this is how hickeys are formed. I think so.. right? I whimper at the loss of contact and my eyes fly open when I hear him shout.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
I jump and he mouths the word sorry to me. I try to calm my racing heart as he walks back to his desk and smiles at me sheepishly. I wonder if he would appreciate if I did the same thing? I'm sure he wouldn't be opposed to having me in his lap. My thoughts are interrupted by what seems like him ending the call. "I'm sorry for yelling" he says as he sits next to me. "You ready to go?"
"If you can?"
"Yes, I had my assistant cancel the rest of the day"
"Hopefully nothing too important?"
"Nothing more important" he looks at me and rubs a hand over my cheek. "Beautiful girl" he whispers before pulling me to my feet.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
We arrive at a restaurant across town and are whisked into a private room.
"There's no one else in here" I say as I look around.
"How observant" he jokes.
"Why?... are you ashamed of me?"
His eyes widen. "No of course not! How could you ask me something like that? I just... I'm in the news quite often and if we are photographed together... you're 17, Ana. That makes things a little bit complicated."
I nod. "Of course. I wasn't thinking... we could have gone... somewhere more private if you'd like?"
He raises an eyebrow at me. "You're going to be the death of me, woman"
I avoid his intense gaze and take a sip of my water. "So... what... what is this exactly?"
"It's dinner"
"I mean does it mean you want me as your submissive?"
"No, Anastasia. It doesn't"
"Oh"
"I don't date my submissives, Ana"
"Is this a date?"
"Well, we are sharing a meal at the end of the day. Some people would call this a date"
"Aren't you cheeky" I giggle.
His eyes dance playfully and it makes me giddy. "I love that sound"
"What?"
"Your giggle"
The rest of dinner went by too fast, with us talking about everything and seemingly nothing at the same time and soon we were back in his car driving me back to my car at GEH. He raises the privacy screen to separate us from Taylor and my heart begins to race.
"Ana" he whispers in the dark. "Come here"
I gulp and make my way closer to him and into his lap and feel his arms tighten around me. "Yes?" I ask and within a second his mouth finds mine. The taste of the cider he ordered and the crème brulee making for a heady mix. His tongue gently nudges my mouth open and I gladly grant him the access. God why'd we even go to dinner? I would have been content doing this for four hours. He nibbles at my bottom lip before touching the tip of my tongue with his drawing mine into his mouth. Wow this man can kiss. Not that I have a ton of experience- or any. But this is good stuff. Damn, I never want to come up for air.
He pulls away from me and I feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen and find myself trying to get air into my lungs and calm my heartbeat. "You're a great kisser"
"Am I?" I say my eyes widening. "That's good"
He chuckles. "I'm normally not in the business of handing out compliments, but I thought you would like to know." He pauses. "For research purposes"
"I appreciate your dedication to the scientific method" I giggle.
"When can I see you again?"
I groan. "I don't know. I can't skip practice again... maybe this weekend?"
"I look forward to it"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It's been a few weeks since our first date and I can't get enough of the enigma that is Christian Grey. We've gone out a few more times but with my busy schedule and having to tell my parents where I am most of the time, it's been difficult to spend any real time together. But that's changing this weekend. A friend of mine is throwing a party and I'm "going" and then "sleeping over at Kate's." Yes that's a serious lie where everything else I've done have technically been lies of omission but I'm in desperate need of more than a few hours here and there alone with Christian. And tonight, I get the WHOLE night. I can barely contain my excitement. I'm not sure what the night will hold as Christian has been keeping me at arms length with the exception of a few semi handsy makeout sessions. He felt my boobs over my clothes and I definitely felt his man business as he ground me into him the last time we made out in his office. I'm not sure what exactly he's waiting for... my eighteenth? Till I graduate? Till we're married? I giggle to myself at the last one, as if he'd want to marry mousy little Anastasia Steele. I scoff at my sub conscious. Christian doesn't see me as mousy at all, he sees me as a goddess. His words. Either way, I had Kate take me to get my first wax of everything. Just in case, yaknow? I just finished curling my hair when my mom appears at the door.
"Hi Ma"
She crosses her arms and smiles at me from the doorjam. "You look pretty. A lot of effort for this party tonight?"
"Just want to look nice"
"It seems you've been wanting to look nice a bit more often than usual lately?"
I shrug. "Just tired of the jeans and sweaters."
"And the ballet buns?"
"It was pulling my hair out"
"Uh huh" she smiles. "What's his name?" She says.
"Who?"
"The boy you're seeing?"
"I'm not seeing any boy" I exclaim.
"Oh don't start! You've been basically singing and dancing around the house the last few weeks. And I think there's a boy putting a little pep in your step" she giggles. "Is he going to be there tonight?"
"Mom there's no boy!"
"Okay... would you like there to be a boy? Maybe one you're interested in?"
"Mom there's no boy... I'm going to my friends birthday and then sleeping at Kate's."
"Well if there is a boy, I just... I would hope you would tell me. Because I'm always on your side, honey. And I would love to meet him"
"I know but... there's nothing to tell" I smile.
"Okay" she shrugs. "Well have fun, just text me when you get to Kate's later okay?"
I nod as she walks away. I guess that's a perk of being the perfect child growing up. The straight A student, never been in trouble, or really done anything wrong. Your parents take things for face value. I have friends that had to sell their soul to their siblings to cover for them to go to this party. Even Kate told her parents she was sleeping at my house and didn't even mention a party. My parents are just thrilled I'm not spending Saturday night with Thomas Hardy or Jane Austen. There's no worry about me drinking or doing drugs or having sex. If there was a boy my parents probably assume all we've done is hold hands. If only they knew. I open my purse and see the stash of condoms Kate got for me and feel my palms start to sweat. I'm sure Christian has his own condoms, but be prepared always, right? I grab my bag and make my way over to Jenna Tallworth's house, the girl throwing the party. I park on the street and can hear the music from the outside.
"Ana!" Jenna cheers. "Drink?"
"No.. no thank you" Christian would probably put me over his knee if I had any alcohol. I smile to myself thinking maybe I should test him.
"Oh come on, Ana. One drink?" My best friend appears next to me and smiles.
"No. And I'm sure Master Grey would not be too thrilled at you consuming alcohol either" I whisper in her ear and she laughs.
"Oh please, Master Grey is allowing his submissive to top from the bottom if you know what I mean"
I laugh and nod my head yes before letting my smile falter. "No.. I don't know what that means"
"It means I basically have the control"
"Oh?"
"I think he loves me."
"Really?"
"I'm not sure... but I think so"
"Why? How do you know?"
"Little things... it's hard to explain. We hardly make love anywhere but his bed now, and it's just so... intense and he says love a lot. 'I love this about you... I love doing this... I love our sex life... I love love love. He just hasn't said 'I love you' yet."
"Aw! That's adorable. Do you love him?"
She takes a sip of her drink and nods. "Yes"
"Oh my gosh!"
"Now we just gotta work on you and the other Grey. Elliott says he is quite into you"
I bite my bottom lip and blush. "The feeling is mutual"
"You going to give it up to him tonight?"
"I don't know... he may not... want to"
"Please that man is walking around in a permanent state of blue balls."
I blanch. "I hope not, I hear that's painful"
An hour into the party, I get the text I've been waiting patiently for.
Hi pretty girl, are you ready for me to come get you?
Yes please!
Haha anxious are we?
Yes, I'm ready! I see these clowns everyday, I want to be with you. And they keep trying to get me to drink.
Have you had any alcohol?
No.. I didn't think you'd like it. Besides I want to remember everything from tonight :)
Good girl. I am proud of you.
Thank you, sir
I just don't want to take you away from your friends... I know what it's like to have someone alienate you from people in your life, I don't want to do that to you. I already feel like I eat up all of your free time.
I don't understand... don't you want to spend time with me?
Of course I do, baby. More than anything
Then come get me!
I'm outside waiting for Christian when I feel an arm around my shoulder attempting to warm me up. "Oh hey Jose" I say trying to get out of his grip.
"You cold? What are you doing out here anyway?"
"Oh just waiting for my friend to pick me up"
"Friend? What friend? All of our friends are here"
"He doesn't go to our school"
"He?" Jose looks at me with wide eyes. "Is it your boyfriend?"
"Jose..." I start.
"I didn't realize you were seeing anyone, you've never mentioned him"
"There's nothing to mention" I say hoping that he gets the point that this is not up for discussion.
"Ana... damn. I should have said something sooner"
"About what?"
"I just don't know when I'll ever have the courage to do this"
"Do what?" I ask with wide eyes unsure I like where this is going.
"Ana"
"Um yes?"
"I like you?"
"Huh?" I stare at him.
"I like you.. a lot"
"You're joking"
"No.. I've always liked you and I was hoping you'd want to go to winter formal with me?"
"Jose I- that's very nice but-"
He wraps his arms around my back and pushes himself closer to me. "Ana, please"
"No.. Jose.. stop!" I am trying to push him off of me but his lips are getting closer and closer to mine when I feel him being ripped from me. I feel his presence before I even realize it's him as he's wearing a hat pulled low over his eyes and is dressed way down from the suit and tie I'm used to.
He steps in front of me and shoots Jose a look that could kill. "I think the lady said stop"
"Dude what's it to you"
"What's it to me, is you were trying to force yourself on her. And she belongs to me. And I don't take too kindly with anyone messing with what is mine" he barks at him. "Now get the hell out of my sight before I beat your drunken face in and then call the cops on you for underage drinking."
He scurries away back into the house leaving me and Christian who still hasn't looked at me yet. I move so that I'm standing in front of him. "Let's go Anastasia" he says moving towards his car without so much as a glance or touch in my direction. I put my bag in the back and climb into the front seat and can now see how unbelievably sexy he looks with his hat and stubble.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Do you want that guy?"
"Jose?" I ask with wide eyes. "No! You heard me telling him to stop"
"If you want him, tell me"
"No, I don't! And you're pissing me off, acting like I've done something wrong. I want you, asshole"
"Don't swear at me"
I roll my eyes. "Whatever" I mutter.
"I saw that"
"Well you shouldn't have. Keep your eyes on the goddamn road"
"Are you trying to piss me off? I just had to watch some guy maul you, excuse me for not being pleasant"
"And then blamed me for it!"
"I'm not blaming you, I just... never mind you wouldn't understand"
"Understand what? That you think I'm lying to you? Dating other guys at school? You were my first kiss ever and now you just think they're lining up at my locker for me to make out with? Come on, Christian"
"I just don't want to deprive you of any experiences, that's all."
"I'm not being deprived of anything" I say as I turn in my seat to look at him. "Just you"
He pulls into the Escala parking garage and turns the car off, bringing my hands to his lips. "Promise me, you'll hear what I have to say in it's entirety"
"Of course"
"Before you run from me?"
"Why would I run?" I ask. "Oh my God, are you married?"
"No Anastasia, I'm not"
"Engaged?"
"No"
"Gay?"
"NO!"
"Okay okay, keep your hair on" I say before he gets out to open the car for me and leads me to the elevator. We get to the penthouse and after I shoot my mother a quick text I'm in awe as I finally look around. "Wow, your place is beautiful"
"Thank you. I need to redecorate or do something but... I haven't had any desire to"
"I could help you... if you want" I start and immediately regret it. Stop sounding like a clingy girlfriend Ana. What happens when you guys break up, he's not going to want to be stuck with all the shit you picked out.
He smiles at me. "I would love that." He pauses. "Are you hungry or thirsty?"
"No... I want to know why you think I would run from you"
"Hungry for knowledge, huh?"
"Stop stalling"
"Okay. Sit"
I obey and he sits on the coffee table in front of me so we are facing each other. "Do you trust me?"
I nod. "Yes"
"Do you think I would ever hurt you?"
I shake my head no. "No"
"Can I trust you?"
"Yes!" I say quickly. "You think you can't?"
"No.. I think I can. I just wanted to see if you thought I could. Everyone that I've had this conversation with has signed an NDA"
"What's that?"
"A non disclosure agreement meaning you can't discuss what I'm about to tell you with anyone"
"I would never share anything about us with anyone"
"Not Kate"
I shake my head. "I wouldn't. I mean.. she knows we've kissed. Is that okay?"
He chuckles. "Yes, that's fine and if you and I were to ever be intimate I wouldn't care if you told her that, but I would hope you'd keep some of the more private details just that- private"
If? Oh Grey you're killing me. Can't you just have your wicked way with me now? "Would it make you feel better if I signed?"
"No I don't have anything drawn up and I want us to talk about this now"
"Okay"
"Would you like a drink?"
My eyes widen. "Like alcohol?"
"Yes"
"No thank you"
He chuckles. "I just need you to be honest with me about what you're feeling"
"I don't need alcohol to do that"
He rubs my cheek and smiles. "You fascinate me, Anastasia. I've never met anyone like you"
I furrow my brows together. "Is that a good thing?" I ask.
"Yes Ana, it's a very good thing" he shoots me that breathtaking smile and it makes my heart skip a beat. His smile fades and he gets very serious. "Ana there's a reason why I asked if you were interested in him... why I'm so careful about not taking you away from your friends or opportunities to be... young. You are young and naïve and... I don't want to age you for lack of a better term by putting you in a situation that you just aren't ready for. I want you to go to dances and football games and prom and hangout with your friends at the mall"
"I don't have time for those things anyway.. well dances and prom I will do. But I don't have time to hangout with anyone" I say.
"You've made time for me"
"That's different"
"How?"
"You're my- I mean... we're... well I don't know what we are" I bite down on my lip. "Are you my boyfriend?"
"Ana" he puts his hands on my shoulders. "You spending all of your free time with me may alienate you from your friends, your family... your job. You've called out of work three times since we've started spending time together"
"Because I don't have time for it all!"
"So you're already giving up things for me"
"Isn't that what being in a relationship is all about? Sacrifice?"
He swallows and puts his hand over his eyes and I begin to panic wondering if this was his way of ending it with me. Whatever exactly it even was. "When I was 15, my mothers best friend seduced me."
My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. "What?"
"I was having a lot of trouble in school. Drinking a lot, drugs, fighting everyday, I was failing almost every subject. I was smart, but I just didn't care. I was such an angry little shit. I didn't have any friends, people were afraid of me. And I had these terrible touch issues. Still do, though they aren't as bad. But it's why I don't like you touching my chest when we kiss. It unnerves me if your hands are free"
"I-I haven't noticed"
"I usually grab your hands before you realize it"
"Anyway my older brother had helped out with some yardwork for her- Elena, that's her name, on and off for 4 years but he joined football his senior year so he didn't really have the time anymore for it. So my mother sent me there to help out as like punishment. She had my mother so brainwashed, she had her convinced that discipline and hard work was what I needed. I was 15 the first time I had sex with her. The first time I had sex period"
I gasp putting a hand over my mouth. "But you were- that's..."
"Yes I know. I've since seen a therapist to show me the error of all the fucking ways" He rolls his eyes. "But at the time I thought she was helping me. I stopped drinking, my grades improved, I stopped fighting... but in the meantime, I spent all of my free time with her. She owned my life, she is who introduced me to BDSM. She was my dominant and I was her submissive. I couldn't do anything without asking her. I couldn't go to dances, or parties, I couldn't date. When I went to college, she would fly out there on a whim to see what I was doing or make me come home on the weekends"
"Wait- how long did this go on?" I ask
"Until I quit school. I left Harvard after one year and came home." I sigh. "I was 19 and when I got home she began training me to become a dom. She was my submissive and one night we were... engaged in intercourse when my brother walked in and caught us. That's the night I found out that she had done the same thing to him when he was 14 up until right around the time she started fooling around with me"
"Oh my god"
"Yeah, my brother flipped the fuck out. It was one thing that she did it to him but he couldn't stand the thought that she had done it to his baby brother." I sit in silence as willing him to continue. "He was so pissed that he threatened to tell our parents and everyone. She was very well known in the community it would have ruined her. So she played the one card she had. Money. She knew we both had great drive and ambition and wanted to start our own companies so she gave us both 100 grand as restitution I guess and we were both able to start our own businesses. After we both became successful, we both gave it back to her because we didn't want anything from her except to be out of our lives. She moved to Florida shortly after that."
"Wow. Do you still have any contact with her?"
"No"
"Good. Mrs. Fucking Robinson"
"Cute" he chuckles.
"It's not funny"
"You're right its not. But it's cute that you're so pissed"
"You were so young! She took advantage of you!" I exclaim.
He's silent for a second before looking up at me with sad grey eyes. "Isn't that what I'm doing to you?"
"Nnnoo.." I stutter. "Of course not"
"I couldn't see it either at the time. I thought she cared about me. I thought I cared about her. She manipulated me. And I worry I'm doing that to you"
"You're not! You were 15, I'm almost 18-"
"You might be almost 18 but I saw more in my 15 years then you'll probably ever see, baby. You're sheltered and naïve and it's NOT a bad thing. I just don't want to hurt you"
"You... won't. You couldn't hurt me. You care about me"
"That's why I'm talking to you about this"
"It sounds like you're leaving me" I say quietly.
"I just want you to understand my apprehension to all of this. Why I haven't fucked you within an inch of your life. Why we haven't gone past kissing. Why we may never go past kissing"
"Never?"
"Ana..." he starts.
"I'm going to have to lose my virginity at some point. Is that what all this is about? You mean if I was some whore that gave it up to anyone, you'd want to stay with me?"
"No not at all, Ana. Your innocence is what draws me to you"
"Then what is all of this, Christian?"
"I don't know! FUCK" he growls as he stands up running a hand through his hair. "I just don't want to be... her. I don't want to be the Elena in your life"
A/N: I'm already at 7k words and this night is not over so I'm just going to make it 2 chapters! Part 2 will be out tomorrow ;)