I know it took me a little while to get this one out but it was harder than I thought I would be. Sometimes it is just so hard to make depression funny. I finally just decided to let the story tell it's self and see where I end up. I hope you like it and the best way to let me know how you feel is with a review. Every writer loves them and I am no different. I do thank those that have made this one of your favorite stories just after one chapter. I hope I did you happy.

Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to Twilight and Stephenie Meyer I'm just having fun with my imagination.

Lost and Found

Bella's POV

Home again. I didn't think I could grow to hate some place so much in such a short amount of time. In the last two months this has become my haven and my hell. There are so many memories here and as much sense as it would make for me to leave I just can't. Besides he once told me that I didn't play smart anyway.

I didn't like thinking about him, about the family I once had and had thought would be mine for always. It just hurt too much. It was like my whole middle had been pulled out with a tractor. There was so many times that I just couldn't breathe, but I was doing my best to hide it. I knew I had to. Every since Charlie had called Renee to come and take me to Jacksonville I knew that I had to do something if I wanted to stay here.

Part of me wanted to be here just in case he changed his mind. I know that he won't but I can't help torturing myself with what ifs. What if he realizes that he made a mistake? What if he decides he does love me? What if I could change and be good enough for him? Just way too many what ifs to continue thinking about and yet I can't seem to stop myself.

As I turn onto my street I see another truck in our drive. Great this is just what I need. Why would Charlie invite over company? He had been so good about staying home just in case. I think he keeps expecting me to go all catatonic again. Like that would help. I would still wake up alone with my whole life basically gone.

I am so close to the house but I am really tempted to just keep driving. If only I had some place else to go. I feel the tears start to hit my eyes. I use to have places to go. I use to have friends and family and people that loved me and enjoyed my company. One person ruined that. One person took that away from me. And now I was alone.

I still had Charlie and Renee although she was really far away. I had school and work and I had made a promise. A one-sided promise but it was there. With that thought I pulled my truck to a stop in front of my house. I jumped out once again glad that I hadn't allowed him to buy me the car he always wanted. I had gotten rid of almost everything that reminded me of him but it would have been hard to box up a motor vehicle.

"Dad, I'm home." I called not looking forward to who ever happened to be here.

"Bella." Charlie called back from the kitchen. "Come in and say hi."

I had been hoping to escape up to my room and not have to put on another fake smile but it looked like that was not going to work. I turned toward our kitchen pulling my emotions into myself and plastering my best "I'm okay smile" on my face and walked in.

Billy Black and his son Jacob were lounging with Charlie in the kitchen. I could see that they had brought him Harry Clearwater's fried fish again. Thank God, I thought, at least now I don't have to cook.

"Bella I wanted you to say hi to Billy and Jacob here. They came up for a little while but I talked Billy into hanging out to watch the game." Charlie explained.

"Hi Billy. Hi Jacob." I said really hoping that I wouldn't have to stay down here and try to act entertaining while some stupid game was playing in the background.

"Hey Bella." Jacob smiled at me. "Long time no see."

"Yeah I know." I looked back toward Jacob. "I've been busy."

"I heard." He looked down quickly. Great, I now know that my tragedy has made it all the way to La Push the local Indian reservation. Was there anyone that didn't know that I hadn't been enough for the only person I could ever love?

I couldn't take anymore. "I have lots of homework." I lied hoping that no one noticed. "I'll be in my room." I said turning to leave.

"Bella, why don't you stay down here with us and watch the game?" Charlie asked quickly.

"I wish I could but like I said lots to do." I ran for the steps before he could say anymore.

I reached my room only to hear someone heading up behind me. Why would Charlie follow me up? He knew that I wasn't in the mood to converse with anyone. Was he trying to be funny? Besides the Black's were more his friend then mine anyway. I did like Jacob but I still couldn't imagine spending a whole evening with him. Sitting there wearing my fake smile and acting like everything was alright would be too much.

I turned to face Charlie prepared to let him have it for even thinking that I would come back downstairs and found myself looking straight into Jacob's chest.

"Whoa Jake, did you grow again?" I asked completely forgetting that I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Yep, I'm almost six-five now." He smiled a crooked smile at me. My now dead heart skipped a beat. It wasn't the same crooked smile that I had loved but it was so close that I couldn't take it. My body started to tremble. Before I knew it I was sitting on my bed and Jacob was sitting right beside me. I didn't remember getting there and I knew that Charlie wasn't the only one that wouldn't approve but at that moment I didn't care.

"Your still hurting aren't you." It sounded more like a statement then question but I found myself answering all the same.

"No I'm fine." I lied again.

"Sure, sure." He leaned back on my bed look as comfortable as if he was sitting back at his house. "Most people that are fine normally almost pass out in hallways."

"I didn't almost pass out." I flustered.

"Bells, if I hadn't been there then you would have fallen forward and probably hit your head on the floor." He insisted.

"You say that I that isn't a normal day for me." I quipped. "With my luck I would have probably ended up going head first down the stairs."

"Yeah that's all you need." He chuckled. "I don't think Charlie could take it if you broke your leg again."

I stopped breathing. He didn't know that James had been the one to break my leg. I slowly looked down to the scar on my arm remembering how it could have been so much worse or so much better. Someone had saved me then or damned me depending on how you looked at it. That had been back when he had cared. Maybe if he hadn't saved me then he never would have left me. I didn't know.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to bum you out." Jake took my hand and started rubbing it slowly.

"It's okay." I let down my guard. "I'm not the best company these days."

He just smiled. "But what else is new?"

I knew Jacob was joking but I couldn't bring myself to smile. I didn't think I would ever smile naturally again. My smiled left with my heart and now I was just a shell of who I had been.

"So other than you fictitious homework, what else do you have to do?"

"What makes you think my homework is fictitious?" I asked taken aback. I knew I had lied and I was pretty sure that Charlie had known I was lying but Jacob and I hadn't spent that much time together so how had he known I was lying.

"Please Bella. Animals lie better than you and they can't even talk." He shook his head at me. "I could have been back on the rez and still known you were lying."

"That's not true."

"See you were lying right there." He pointed to me. "You even know that I'm telling the truth."

"Fine." I huffed. I did know he was right but it just seemed wrong that this boy that I have seen all of twice could tell that I was lying. "Did you want something special or just to let me know that I was a horrible liar?"

"Are you mad?" Jake looked so amused that it only served to make sure that I was mad.

"What do you think?" I stared at him with the hardest look I could muster.

"I think that is the most emotion that I have seen out of you in the last few months." He told me with a smile and then he looked down quickly. "I also think you look kinda cute when you're mad."

"How would you know how emotional I have or haven't been over the last few months?" Charlie must have told his father I thought. One of these days he was going to have to learn to keep his mouth shut. "Has Charlie been telling tells?"

"Not exactly." He looked so sheepish that I almost felt sorry for taking my first emotional outburst since he left out on him.

"Then what?"

"Well…." He hedged. "I have kinda….only in a small sense…..just because I knew how….it's so hard to say…"

"Just spit it out Jake." I had no idea what he was trying to say but I knew that it couldn't be all that good.

He took a deep breath. "I have been watching out for you." At least he knew to look rightfully guilty.

"You have been watching out for me?" I asked a little shell shocked.

"Just recently." He smiled shyly at me.

"Why?" I really couldn't believe him. "When….How?"

"I don't sleep much." He looked away and if I hadn't been so distracted by his statement I would have noticed that there was more to that. "I find myself outside your house most night."

All he did was just remind me of the last person that I knew that didn't sleep. He had spent most night at my house too only he had spent them in this room with me. He had held me and made promises to me and told me he loved me and he had walked away. What was it with boys and there need to be at my house when they couldn't sleep.

Wait, my mind suddenly stopped and I sat straight up in my bed. What did he just say? He didn't sleep. What did he mean that he didn't sleep? A year ago I would have just thought that he meant he had insomnia but now I wasn't sure. I turned on him and stared at him so quickly it took a moment for my eyes to adjust.

Jacob felt me start and he turned to me too. "What is it Bella?" He stiffened and stared looking around as if trying to feel out if there was any danger here.

It was just like he use to do. That protective instinct. I watched how his face changed into such a serious look. It looked achingly familiar. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed his face and stared into his eyes. They were the same dark color as mine but could that just be a mask. Was it that he just needed to feed the same as he use to? His temperature and the texture of his skin felt wrong to, but what other explanation could there be? Was I surrounded my monsters and angels everywhere?

"Bella what is going on?" Jacob asked looked a little worried that maybe I had finally cracked up.

"Jake if I ask you something do you promise not to think that I have lost my mind?" I asked pretty sure that I had in fact completely lost every part of my mind.

"Sure Bella, whatever it is I will understand." He said calmly placing his large hands on top of mine and holding them to his face.

"Are you a vampire?" I knew how it must sound but I had to know.

I wasn't prepared for his reaction. Looking back I should have been. Yes he had promised not to think I was crazy but he hadn't promised not to freak out at the ridiculous question. How often does someone ask you such a crazy thing? One minute I was holding his face and the next I was face down on my mattress.

Jake had gotten up so fast I didn't have time to react. Of course that only strengthened my belief that he was a vampire and I had somehow just missed it. I wondered if Billy knew. I thought back to how he had tried to warn me last year about him and now his son was exactly the same. I looked up to find Jacob staring down at me with the hardest, scariest expression that I had ever seen or at least in the top three.

"How could you think such a thing?" He almost growled at me. "That I would be a stupid, smelly, heart-breaking bloodsucker. What kinda person do you think I am?"

"It all makes sense." I told him shrugging. "All though I didn't expect your reaction to be so upset. If you're worried that I'll tell I can assure you that I won't."

"Of course you wouldn't." He continued to look at me harshly. "You have so much experience keeping that kind of secret, don't you?"

He knew. He knew about them, but when had that happened. Last year he had been so sure that the stories of his ancestors had been just that; stories. But it was there in his eyes. He knew the truth. I didn't know what to say. It all became so overwhelming and I started crying.

"Hey Bella, I'm sorry." Jacob sat back down next to me putting his arm around me and rubbing my back. It felt good, wrong somehow if he really was a vampire, but good. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I just couldn't believe that I would be like them." He shuttered.

"You know now don't you?"

"Yes, I know now." He said quietly.

"How?"

"I can't tell you that." He sounded so sad. "Just know that I didn't mean to upset you."

"Okay." I told him. "But if you aren't a vampire then why can't you sleep and why are your eyes so dark?"

"First of all, my eyes have always been dark Bella." He looked even sadder. "You have seen me before today you know."

"I know but I guess I didn't notice." How had I not noticed, I thought.

"Secondly, do you know how many people can't sleep? Hundreds. Thousands." He smiled.

"Sorry if I offended you." I told him.

"It's okay." He shrugged again. "I guess it's cool that you didn't freak out or anything."

I pulled away. Somehow sitting here in my room, on my bed with Jacob's arm around me felt wrong. Like I was cheating somehow. I hated that he was the one that left me for "distractions" unknown and I felt like I was the one cheating but I did.

"Listen," Jake started taking my face into his oversized hands. "I know you're going through a lot right now but I just wanted you to know that you can count on me. Whatever you need, just ask."

"Why?"

"Because…" He smiled crookedly again. "We're friends aren't we?"

I couldn't help but smile back and this time it almost felt normal and natural. "Sure Jake. I guess we are."

Alice's POV

"Something is wrong." I sat up swiftly in the car seat.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper asked grabbing my hand and never taking his eyes off the road.

"We have to hurry." I told him trying to calm my nerves. "It might be too late, but we have to hurry."

"Alice, what did you see?" This time he did take his eyes off the road. "Was it Bella or Edward?"

"Bella"

"What happened?" He asked sounding just as nervous as I felt.

"She just disappeared."

AN: I think this turned out better than I had planned when I sat down at my computer. Let me know what you think.

On a great note I am off to write chapter 3. Has Alice finally made it back? How will Bella react?