A/N: Sorry about the grammatical errors in the last chapter.

The next few days after that, Penelope lived in the motions. She was too numb to think or do anything else. Any and everything she did was automatic because serious thinking was never required. The work that the BAU needed her to do was easy for the most part, so she didn't worry about making mistakes because she never did when it came to finding the perp. Life had become to feel surreal and dream-like. This whole mess started when Morgan told her that he loved her. Penelope had freaked out major because she didn't know what else to do. Why would he say he loved her? This wasn't the 'I love you as a dear friend' I love you, but 'I love you and want to make a go at a relationship'. Why did it take a near death experience to make him realize what she had already realized for herself years ago? As much as she wanted to be with him, Penelope felt that he wasn't ready for a committed relationship and pretended the words were never said. She buried herself in her new relationship with Kevin and lived a life full of oblivion because that was all she could do.

When the case was over, Penelope went home right away. She opened her door and stopped. Morgan was over her; he had found someone and got married--MARRIED! Penelope started to feel very emotionally dizzy, so she leaned on the door frame. She blinked rapidly to hold back her unshed tears since she heard the news.

"Don't think." She whispered to herself. "Stop thinking, Penelope, God dammit please stop thinking." But her emotions wouldn't stop building and she couldn't stop thinking and the unshed tears she tried to hold back came pouring out. Penelope started to feel rage which turned into hate. She didn't hate Derek, but how could he just find someone and not think about her? How could he be so happy? When she opened her eyes and looked to the side, she saw his picture. Hot anger soared through-out her being and she picked out the frame and threw it. She threw everything that reminded her of him, she screamed and yelled, and ripped the clothes out the closed that she used to wear for him. She stomped on the outfits she bought to impress him, and she crumpled to the floor and cried some more. Penelope cried harder than she ever cried in her life, and then she fell asleep in a fetal position clutching her clothes.

5 Months Later

Things only got worse from there. Morgan's newfound happiness was sickening or maybe that was because she was depressed. Then to top it all off, Sam was pregnant; she and Morgan conceived a child on their honeymoon. It was all Morgan ever talked about now and all that he only wanted to talk about. She tried to pretend that she was happy--she wanted to be happy for him, but it was hard. All she ever thought about was the chance she once had and how she missed it. Insecurity began to consume her as she thought she wasn't good enough and that he would never be interested in her, and when he was, she pushed him aside. Penelope had forgot about him when she found herself 'a life'. Everything was entirely her fault, but she did contribute to the reason why Sam was here and expecting. She didn't give Morgan a lifeboat when he needed one. And it wasn't like Sam appeared, contrary to what she believed. He was single for months, hell, for over a year while she dated Kevin before Sam had came along.

Garcia was on her lunch break when Morgan cornered her.

"Hey Baby girl, can I speak to you for a moment--it's personal." He mentioned as an after thought. Penelope still got emotional when he called her Baby girl because even though he had excluded her from his personal life like she did him, he still used her pet name. Even though he got married and no one was invited, he still held a ceremony and made her his best girl or woman as he said. But, she could no longer call him by his nicknames she had once given him; it hurt too much.

"Yeah, sure, Morgan." She gestured for him to follow her to her office as she sipped her coffee. After she sat down, Garcia swerved her chair to face him and Morgan got a chair to face her as well.

"Well, I know our relationship hasn't really been as tight as it once had been." Morgan started out as he rubbed his hands together nervously. Penelope couldn't help but to think of what he just said was an understatement. "But, taking into consideration our past relationship, how I wish to restore it, and knowing you as a person I would like for you to be my son's godmother. I know you love kids and I trust you to protect my child at all cost. I know you may not know how to fight or have a gun or any kind of weapon, but you always look at for the best interest of others no matter what, and I need someone like that to look at for my child it Sam or myself is ever unable to do it."

He took Penelope's hands in his and squeezed them.

"I trust my mother and my sister and I even trust Sam's family, but you possess this quality and you have this integrity, even though you don't know it, that makes you way more qualified than anyone else in my eyes. And I know you haven't raised a kid before, but it's not about that--it's about you following through when someone needs you. I even talked to Sam and she's cool with it." Morgan gave her a very intense stare. "So, will you do it?"

Penelope was touch and started to tear up a bit as Morgan automatically reached up to wipe her tears with his thumb. "I'm touched, Derek, the idea of it is just so nerve-wrecking, you know?"

"All the extra stuff I just said was just in case something happened to us. I just wanted you to know how much I trust you, but for right now you won't have to do much, especially since DJ isn't born yet. The most you'll do is spend time with him if you want to or maybe occasionally babysit if it's not too much." Morgan was distracting so much it was hard to make a decision; of course she wouldn't tell him no, but here he was caressing her fingers as he held them.

"Yes." She mumbled softly.

'Yes." He repeated her to make sure he heard correctly.

"Yes." She said as she moved her head up and down. The idea seemed insane; becoming godmother to child of the man she was madly in love with, but she was his best friend as well. He trusted her and even put him above his wife's families and his own as guardian if something were to ever happen. He still did care a great deal for her.

Morgan smiled as he got up, and then placed a kiss upon Penelope's forehead."You'll always be my original goddess."

Garcia took the rest of the day off.

A Week Later

Penelope woke up in a strange bed..she didn't, didn't she? Quickly she prayed that she did not have a one night stand with some strange man because things never went right when she met handsome strangers who like her. It was what led to the ruins of a beautiful friendship. The lab tech opened her eyes even wider and realized she was in a hospital bed and not a stranger's bed.

'Whew', she thought to herself as she settled comfortably in the bed. Never would she have a one night stand with strangers, but she hadn't been feeling like herself lately. Penelope found a glass container of water to her right and poured herself a cup of water; she was a bit parched. Before she finished her glass of water, she spotted Morgan out of the sides of her peripherals to her left.

"What's going on with you, Mama?" Morgan asked as he rubbed his face exhaustedly before settling to rested his elbows on his knees.

"Nothing." She lied easily, yet everything was wrong.

"Penelope..."He began. Garcia had to think how many times he had called her by her first name and realized that she couldn't think of any. "The doctor said that you haven't been eating properly, not getting enough sleep, and that your dehydration levels were beyond the average levels for an everyday person. That doesn't seem like nothing to me."

Penelope didn't know what to say.

Morgan began to pace back in forth in front of her bed. "You told me that you would take care of my son if something ever happened, but you aren't taking care of yourself. Even if you didn't agree to that how can you be so careless and not to care of yourself?" He admonished.

"I will take care of your son if something ever happens--it just that...I don't feel like eating, sleeping or doing anything anymore." Penelope said as she tried to straighten out how she felt. "I know I should do these things, but it's hard when you just aren't in the mood, and I force myself to eat, but that gets tiresome when you aren't hungry. And I, and I try to sleep, but myself eyes refuse to stay shut and--and--and--everything has been hectic since I broke up with Kevin, but he isn't the reason I feel this way, I just do."

For the most part, it was the truth, except for why it was happening. She had full knowledge is to why she no longer could do the things she once did.

It was hard for the others to catch on what she was doing to herself. She had fooled them with the bright colors and make-up, so it was hard to catch on that she wasn't taking care of herself.

"Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself, alright, sweetness. I'll check on you frequently to make sure that you are." Penelope shook her head obligingly before Morgan left.

After Garcia's doctor told her explained to her that she had fainted at work from a lack of nourishment and things she had to do to prevent it from happening again, she had asked him to refer her to a therapist. She was tired of keeping all of her emotions bottled up and her friends didn't help much; they were always trying to spare her feelings, which was good, but not helpful.

As Penelope laid back in her hospital bed, tears fell down her face. Although she wanted to run away, she knew that she couldn't because problems were never solved by avoiding them, and as much as she didn't like how her life was now, she refuse to deal with it by 'disappearing', by not facing the consequences of her actions, and by not learning from her mistakes.

So she wouldn't.

TBC...

I guess I am the alert kind of person. I love alerts because that means a person wants to be updated as soon as you post, but I love reviews as well because I love feedback. But for some reason, most of my stories gets nothing, but alerts. This is semi-filler semi-part of the story. I'm kind of writing as I go along, but I do have some parts pre-planned, but that is later on in the story not now.