Author's notes: I'm using a headcanon in this fic. Their ages from Older-Younger : Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo
"I'm better off callin' my own shots." Raphael snarled as he slowly circled around him. "So get used to it!" He barked, pointing.
"You're not ready!" Leo shot back in frustration. "You're impatient, hot-tempered and more importantly," He continued, turning to face him. "I'm better than you."
Raphael laughed darkly at that. "Oh, ya know somethin' little brother, I'll have to disagree wit' ya on that one." He snarled, idly twirling his sai as he shifted his stance, looking all the more formidable in his armor.
Leo sighed as he opened his eyes, disturbed from his meditation once again by the recurrent memory. He hadn't wanted to fight, but Raph had forced his hand, and for a time he'd thought he had him on the run. But his red-banded brother had surprised him when he'd managed to focus his rage for a short moment, snapping his katanas in the process.
In a fight against Raphael, you couldn't let your guard down for even a moment. His combat-oriented mind would capitalize on any weakness faster than you could blink. Mikey had been the one to point out a valid fact years ago - if Raph got his hands on you it was game over. The best defense against him was keeping him at bay and use his rage against him. Add in his hair-trigger temper and propensity for berserk frenzies and the stakes went up tenfold.
And that was exactly what had happened. He'd dropped his guard for a moment, shocked that Raph had broken his weapons. The following blow had the red-clad turtle's full strength behind it and he'd gone down. Leo knew the only reason he was alive was because Raph didn't want to kill him.
They had reconciled afterwards, or so Leo had thought. It had been two weeks since they'd defeated the stone generals, since Winter's had died, finally free of his cursed existence. Two weeks since Karai's cryptic message before she'd vanished.
Raph had all but distanced himself from them, keeping to his room. The rare times he was with them he was dark and unreadable, his few words as sharp and painful as blades. During practice he was brutal and relentless, more so than usual.
Eventually Donatello tried to get him to say what was bothering him, being the one Raph spoke with when he was troubled. He'd flown into a rage at that point and the olive turtle's reflexes with his trusty staff were the only thing that kept the thrown wrench from connecting with his head.
Needless to say, he'd chosen not to stick his beak in the hothead's business afterwards. Mikey and Leo also tried, with mixed reactions but no closer to an answer. Splinter had tried and Raph had actually yelled at him then stormed off before their father could recover from the shock. Even Casey couldn't break down the defensive wall he was keeping himself behind and that was previously unheard of.
He heard a grunt and turned to look, finding Raph still weight lifting which he'd been doing more often than usual. He was pushing himself to his limit and refused to have any of them spot for him, which left Leo worried he might hurt himself so he'd begun to meditate whenever he did so.
Gold eyes snapped to him in that moment, his features pulling into a snarl before returning his attention to his workout. Leo sighed, feeling like everyday that went by they were loosing their brother and he had no clue why.
Raph suddenly grimaced and put his weight back, sweat beading on his emerald skin. But that wasn't what worried him. Raph was pressing his hand against his plastron, directly over his obi, looking like he was about to be sick.
Leo got up and caught Raph's arm just as he was walking past. "Raph, are you alright? Should I get Donnie?"
All he got for the effort was a snarl as the hothead wrenched his arm out of his grasp.
"Please, I'm worried about you, we all are." Leo said, grabbing his arm again. "We're here for you, don't push us away like this."
He should have sensed it coming, but his worry was clouding his judgement. One second Raph tensed and the next Leo was lying on the floor with a split lip. Raph didn't say anything, the fiery intensity in his gold eyes leaving Leo speechless. With a growl he turned and stomped off, his hand still pressed to his plastron.
"He's about to blow," Leo thought, getting to his feet and using the wall for support. "And it's not going to be pretty."
—
Raph slammed his door shut, locking it to make sure no one would come in, though they usually knew better than to barge into his room. He moved to his hammock and sat in it, pulling out the cellphone he had hidden in his obi.
"Speed dial 1 when it is prudent."
He padded silently to his door, turning off the light so he could see if someone was standing outside his door. Raph sat on the smaller bench press he kept in his room to be as far as possible from it, eyes locked on the sliver of light as he pressed the proper button.
"We need a plan to get you away." The feminine voice told him the moment the line picked up.
"Patrol tonight, I'll stay behind an' sneak out after they leave."
"What of your Sensei?"
"I'll worry 'bout that later. Same place, midnight. Alley, avoid da roofs."
"Understood."
Raph sighed and slipped the phone back under his obi, tightening it to make sure it didn't fall out as he lay down in his hammock, staring restlessly at the ceiling. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when there was a tentative knock at his door. He ignored it, only to frown when whoever it was tried to open the door, when that didn't work they knocked again.
"Raph?"
Grumbling he stalked to the door, wrenching it open with a scowl on his face. Donatello's eyes traveled him over from head to foot before gazing solemnly at him.
"Leo told me you may not be feeling well." He said, pressing his fingers together.
"M'fine."
"He said you might be hurt."
Raph narrowed his eyes a little and the genius fidgeted. "Ain' been sleepin' good." He muttered, gazing directly at him. "Just feelin' a little under da weather, ya know?" He continued, crossing his arms. "Gonna sit out patrol tonight an' get some sleep."
His brothers thought they could read him like an open book, the truth was they read what he wanted them to, there was a lot he'd kept hidden from them over the years. Mikey was the one he had to work the hardest to trick.
Most likely because Raph had always been overprotective of the youngest and they spent a lot of time together growing up. The ever cheerful turtle was surprisingly observant, seemingly having a nose for emotions and an eye for body language.
But that bond went two ways. Raph could tell when Mikey was moping even when there was the ever bright smile on his face. The big brother in him always did everything in his power to get his baby brother out of his funks.
So when Leonardo had made a move on Mikey, his defensive nature had shifted into overdrive. Raph had eventually relented when he'd come to the conclusion that Mikey was truly happy. If Leo made Mikey happy, then that was fine in his book.
Donnie tilted his head at this a little. "Are you certain?"
"Yeah."
"I'll inform Leo." He said, smiling and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Leave your door unlocked, I'll check on you before we head out."
"I ain' a damn baby Donnie!" He snapped, brushing off his hand which earned him a hurt look from the other turtle.
"Please?" He asked softly.
They'd been together for nearly two years and Donnie knew how to get the softie out of him. Raph was fairly certain no one knew they were mates. If Mikey did, then he'd been keeping it to himself and acting none the wiser. Leaving Donatello behind made his plan all the more painful, so he'd been giving him the cold shoulder as of late.
The protector in him couldn't stand it anymore. One day he wouldn't be able to save someone. He would go to absolutely any length to keep them all safe, and if that meant leaving his family to take command of the Foot, then so be it. What better way to keep his family safe than having an army of ninja at his command?
And if they ended up hating him for it, then so be it. Raph would pay any price to keep them safe. He'd give away his life and loose their love without a shred of hesitation. No price would ever be too great for their safety. Raph would rather have them hate him and know they were alive, than live his life knowing he'd failed at protecting even a single one of them.
"Fine." He growled, crossing his arms, his face as cold as stone.
Raph could at least give his mate one last chance to fret over him, it was the least he could do.
"Thanks Raphie." He replied, smiling at him.
"Whateva'." He mumbled, closing his door and flopping down in his hammock again.
Raph waited until he saw the other's shadow leave then slipped the phone out. He fiddled around with it until he found what he wanted, setting the alarm then slipped it back in its place before turning off the alarm clock near his hammock.
"May as well get some sleep then, Donnie would notice if I'm fakin' it." He thought, settling in a comfortable position and closing his eyes. "Don' ever forget my promise, Donnie."