By Yaoi-chan and Amish-chan
Chapter 2
Shoes
"So… run it by me again." Axel muttered with a mouthful of shrimp-flavored ramen, "This flower… it only blooms at night, correct?
"Hai, desu!" Marluxia chirped, examining the new shoes on his.
"How could you mistake this one with the other one?" The red haired man inquired. "I mean, you are the flower fag."
Marluxia chirped a feminine giggle. "Please stop flustering Mar-Mar, desu." He then sat down, crossing his leg femininely and placing his hands on his lap, "Actually, Mar-Mar got them confused because the correct flowers are not in bloom, desu. Normally, the day flower is in bloom, and its petals are a vivid red. But they can only bloom under certain temperatures, desu. Vexen's experiments have been cooling the castle too much, so the flowers won't bloom, desu." His voice then dropped as he cursed Vexen with every foul word he could possibly think of; then beaming brightly at Axel with a cheerful "Chuu!"
O.o "Is there anything we can do?" The flurry of dancing flames asked, praying that there was a simple answer.
It was at this point that Marluxia's fingers began twiddling again like he did earlier that morning. "Eto… Axel-kun? Does Axel-kun promise not to kill Mar-Mar if Mar-Mar tells the truth, desu, ne?" With a sigh, Axel nodded, "Ano… Mar-Mar blew a lot of the pollen on Roku-kun… eto… desu… Mar-Mar thinks Roku-kun will be completely normal in a week… or so… desu."
"Marluxia!"
Marluxia let out a shrill cry as Axel towered over him in a temporary fit of rage, anime-esque flames dancing in a dark background. "Gomen nasai, desu! Gomen nasai, desu! Mar-Mar is sorry, desssssssssssssu!"
"Grr-dah-Rrf!" Axel kicked the table, making Marluxia squeak and the ramen he'd been eating falling over.
"In the ghetto… in the ghettooooo!!! An' her mama cried, the las' thing she needed was anotha baby mouth'a 'ta feed'a in the ghettooo- oh? What's this?" Demyx paused in front of Xemnas's office as the sides of his mouth curled into a smile as he listened to the hushed voices beyond the white door.
"-Snigger, Snigger- Oh, shit. Shut up, Luxord, its ringing… -snigger- H-hello? Yes, this is, uh… Joe from Sears; I was wondering how your refrigerator is working- for an- erm… poll… is it running? Really? Well, you better go catch it!"
WHAM! The speaker slammed down the phone as the people in the office burst into laughter.
"AHAHAHAHA! Dude- Luxord! Your turn- here, try this number…"
This is the point where, if this were an anime, Demyx would look at the camera and mouth, "what the fu-?"
"Hello? Good day, ma'am. My name is Robert and I come from the Alberto Tobacco Company. I'm doing a simple poll for our newsletter to see if you or any of your family members have Prince Albert in A Can… oh, you do? Well, you better go let him out!"
WHAM! The phone was slammed down once more.
"AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Well, this was getting repetitive.
"Hmm…" Demyx suddenly became bored and wondered off, just as the superior walked up to his office door.
"Luxord?! Xigbar?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MAKING PRANK PHONECALLS WITH MY CELL PHONE?!" Demyx heard Xemnas yell as Luxord and Xigbar dashed out of the room, taking the cell phone with them. Xemnas sprinted out after them a split second later. Larxene walked by Demyx and leapt over the superior, landing before him.
"Don't trip." She smirked softly, sticking out her leg before him.
WHAM!
"Superior fall down and go BOOM!" Demyx cheered happily as he traipsed down the halls, looking for something to occupy himself with before cackling sadistically, "Hmm…" He mused softly, "I wonder how Roxas's butt is."
Xaldin, whom just happened to be walking by, stepped away from Demyx, "Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag."
"Hypocryteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Liaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar…"
"Douuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuchhhhhhhhhhhhhe baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag."
"Stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop doooooooooooooooooing thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat."
"Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou stoooooooooooooooooooooop firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssttttt…"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…"
"Shut uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."
Ka-PWN!
"Oh here I am in this wundyful place, having a wundyful life! Living in the sunlight, acting in the funlight, having a wundyful time! I do what I likes and I do-s it when I likes it!" Demyx chirped as he skipped away from Xaldin's twitchy dead-ish body.
Once he made it to Roxas' room, the tawny-tressed teen was still in bed with a pillow over his head.
"Hey, Roxie…" Demyx chirped, flying onto the bed and landing on it, causing both the bed and Roxas to bounce.
"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…" The tawny-tressed youth's muffed voice came from under the pillow.
"Do you know that gay people are more at risk for STD's than straight people?" The blonde supplied.
"… thank you for that enlightening bit of information, Demyx." Roxas grumbled, "Now, it STILL feels like I just got ass-raped and I want to SLEEP."
"Yea, well, I guess that's a good idea, considering what Axel told- MMPH!" A black-gloved hand covered Demyx's mouth and he was dragged from the room.
"What did Axel-?" Roxas removed the pillow from his head and looked around, "Jeez…" He grumbled, and went back to sleeping.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?!" Axel yelled as he pwn-ed Demyx over the head.
"I dunnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooo…" Whined the tow-head, "Stop doooooooooooooooing thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat…"
"Stop, whining. Buttcrapper!" Number eight snapped angrily.
"Buttcrapper, now that's a new one." Shrugged the melodious nocturne as he was pwn-ed over the head once more, "Aowwwwwwwwuuu…"
"Jeez. What are you, two?" Inquired the red-tressed young man.
"No, two and a half! But that's beside the point!" Demyx cooed cheerfully, only to be pwn-ed once more.
"No, you aren't two, you are RETARDED!" Axel yelled irately.
"Retarded isn't a num- OWW!!!"
"Okay, now what did we say about telling Roxas?" Inquired Axel as he folded his arms. Demyx blinked his eyes several times.
"Don't do it?" He inquired.
"Good, Demyx!" Axel beamed, "You aren't THAT retarded after all!"
"YAY! DUZ I GET A COOKIE?!" He cheered brightly, throwing his hands up in the air in cheer.
"NO." Snapped Axel, growing in impatience, "Look, you have to NOT tell Roxas, AT ALL. ARE. WE. CLEAR?"
"Crystal!" Chirped the blonde, then his face went confused, "… what were we talkin' 'bout again?"
Axel sighed, steam coming out of his ears, as he attempted not to PWN Demyx to the other side of New Jersey.
"Look, I only get Roxas for about another week, and then who KNOWS the next time Marluxia's flower will bloom?!" Axel said holding Demyx by the shoulders and giving hm a small shake.
"Man whore." Grinned number nine.
"WHAT?!" Axel snapped back, fire in his emerald orbs.
"Welllllllllll, I think that you should 'do it' with the one you love." The melodious nocturne mused softly, "Not when they are as horny as a monkey on crack and can't remember anything about 'doing it'… it should be a special piece of your heart and memory to cherish in your mind forever and a very special thing to celebrate with the one you love most."
Axel blinked, "Sometimes… I worry about you." He sighed, dropping the sitar-player.
"But, Axel!" Demmy cried in desperation as Axel stalked off, "Wait! Maybe you should talk this out with Rox-" Axel stepped into the dark corridors and the dissipated seconds later, "-as." The blonde ended sadly with a dejected sigh.
"Crazy old people." Axel complained as he walked into the castle. Having just gone shopping for… stuff, he'd quickly run into Trader Joe's to get… more food-type stuff (okay, chocolate fondue, if you must know…). And while he was in there shopping, ALL the old people within the store had flocked over to him.
"Hey, sonny, why doncha reach up there on that high shelf and grab me them prunes?"
"Say, you young'an, could you reach over there and get my dog… yes it's the stuffed one… she was alive in 1920. I named her Fifi."
"Young man, could you grab that natural lubricant for me and my husband?"
"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaazy old people." Axel's eye twitched as he went into his room and dumped his loot on his bed, then retired to the bathroom.
It was large and Japanese-style with a wood-paneled drain in the floor and a deep, square bath for resting in. "Blarg." Said Axel as he turned on the shower and started to scrub clean. It was a miracle Demyx wasn't in there for once with his rubber ducky singing the rubber ducky song at the top of his lungs and getting SOAP in the bathwater (which is, by Japanese standards, considered EXTREMELY rude).
Axel grumbled about old people as the hot water sprayed into his face and then rinsed the rest of the soap off before retiring to the tub.
"Care for me to wash your back, Axel?"
"HOSHIT!" Axel nearly jumped out of the tub, where Roxas was waiting; the high wooden sides of the tub had concealed his head, making for a perfect hiding place, "Jesus, Roxas! You scared me!"
"Hmm…" Roxas swam over, a far-away look on his face, tinted pink with the heat of the water… and the moment, "I was hoping it would turn you on…"
He reached out and drew a single finger down Axel's chest.
'MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN WHORRRRRRREEEEEE!' Demyx's voice screamed in Axel's mind.
"Roxas…" Said the red-tressed man slowly as Roxas put his arms around him.
"Hmm?"
Axel fidgeted slightly uncomfortable, seeing as he had little Demyx chibi's swimming in his head, yelling, "MAN WHORE!" repeatedly. "Look, uh…m-maybe we sh-should think this through first…"
"What's there to talk about?" the blond asked, straddling over Axel's hips. "You and I are alone in the tub…naked, might I add…"
Axel would have tried to back up and talk this though with Roxas---his biggest problem was that he was already backed up to the wall of the tub, giving him no escape route. "Yeah, uh, I noticed…but uh…seriously…" He laughed somewhat nervously as he felt Roxas' hips grind into him. "Uh –huh huh…think about it, Roxie…"
A sadistic smile plastered itself on Roxas' features. "…Why think when we could act…?"
To put it bluntly, Axel was screwed…almost literally, seeing as Roxas' groin was rubbing up against his own. "Hoshi-look, maybe…oh dang, you want it don't you?"
Roxas reached up and nipped and bit at his lip, giving him a basic answer. "Little less conversation, a little more action…"
"…Fuck it." Axel shoved his mouth onto Roxas', listening to the straw-tressed youth squeak at his sudden act, shoving both of them temporarily under the hot surface of the water.
"Roxas… are you okay… it looks like you just got ass-raped." Demyx poked the tawny-tressed youth in bed as Roxas squeaked in sadness.
"That's what I was telling you all yesterday… sheesh." The tow-head burrowed into his bed, covering his head with not only his pillow, but his blankets as well. "Aaaaaaooooooowwwwwh…"
Demyx scratched the back of his head, and, against better judgment, kept his mouth shut about the truth. "Hmm…Sorry then, Roxas." With that being said, he left the room. Once the door shut quietly behind him, he sighed, and set out to Axel's room with a purpose. "Axel! We need to have a talk!" the mullet-man yelled, slamming his fists on the white door a few times. "Axel? You awake?"
The door suddenly snapped open. "I am now, what the fuck do you want?" Axel muttered, looking groggy and disheveled.
Demyx pouted. "Did you not listen to me yesterday?"
"Do I ever?" was Axel's simplistic answer.
"No, but that's beside the point." Demyx sighed. "Listen, I thought you were going to think about this."
"I did, and…I thought you were having a spur of the moment…moment." Axel moved to shut his door, slamming it on Demyx's foot. "What the fuck?"
Despite the pain, Demyx cleared his throat. "Axel…talk to Roxas. Regardless…if he says he wants action…"
The red head stared at the sitar-player stupidly. "…And if I don't?"
The tow-head closed in on Axel's face until they were inches apart. "Then live with the title of…man-whore." With that, Demyx jerked his foot out of the doorway and limped down the hall.
Axel sighed dejectedly and leaned against his wall, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb in exhaustion. How was he supposed to talk to Roxas? At night, he was a horny man-whore and never listened… and during the day he didn't remember anything. It was impossible. At this rate, Axel would either have to shut himself up and completely avoid Roxas… or end up brutally ass-raped. Yeah… better to willingly give himself to Roxas then to end up ass-raped… that was never fun…
Not that Axel would know or anything.
But it just didn't sound exactly pleasant… not like when Roxas gave him head… now that was pleasant. Axel grinned to himself… he wasn't the man-whore, that was Roxas. He wondered what kind of shit that kid read… or watched on TV… or… whatever; he just wanted to learn what Roxas knew! That kid was like a walking karma sutra! Axel never thought half of those positions possible before he did Roxas… or rather, Roxas did him. Yeah. Axel's smirk grew as he traipsed out of the room, Demyx's words lost to him.
Roxas sighed and set down the book. What the hell was he reading this for?! He had suddenly taken to reading lemons on the Internet (some of which were very… descriptive, mind you) as well as stealing Larxene's copy of the karma sutra hidden deep under her bed… and he was reading it… weird. Roxas had quite a few questions to ask himself:
WHY was he suddenly horny?
WHY did he suddenly want to read up on sex?
Why was Axel acting so weird around him?
AND WHY THE HELL DID HE FEEL LIKE HE HAD JUST BEEN BRUTALLY ASS-RAPED?!
Yeah… Roxas had quite a few strange questions and… stuff. He'd tried to
Ask a few people but had only ended up getting slapped by Larxene, laughed at by Xigbar, and then Marluxia had asked him to come for tea and had tried to explain to him "The Meaning Of Life". Roxas had promptly thrown up and decided that it was just puberty. But he still couldn't help but feel… strange. Demyx had been shooting him weird glances all day and keeping his mouth shut, (as said before) Axel was acting all weird towards him, and Marluxia was giggling and squee-glomping him every now and then, chattering on about flowers or something… weirdo…
Yes, maybe that was the price of being a nobody: being surrounded by weird people and doing weird things.
Suddenly, his insides froze and he read faster, his eyes darting across the page as he soaked in the information faster than ever.
"Hmm… that looks like a good position. I wonder what Axel would think of it- GAH!" Roxas threw the book clear across the room and stared at it as if it was a decaying pigeon spewing pork. He didn't like Axel like that!!! They were just friends! No hardcore tub sex or anything… heh. That was good. Good tub sex…
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Roxas ran up to the wall and slammed his head against the wall. "I- AM- NOT- GAY!" He said with every slam.
"If you were gay, that'd be okay, because HEY! I'd like you A-ny-way!" came Demyx's singing voice from the other side of the door.
"I'M NOT GAY! SHUT UP!" Roxas slid down the wall, panting angrily at himself. "What the hell is wrong with me…?"
'Nothing's wrong with you, Roxie, baby.' A horny voice cooed in Roxas' head, 'Its perfectly normal to be in love.'
"But I'm not in love." Argued the tawny-tressed youth, rubbing his face in his hands.
'Yes you are… you're Axel's man-whore.' The voiced cooed softly.
"I am NOT!" Roxas screamed, pulling at his tresses.
'… yes you are.' The voice answered with an unseen smirk.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Howled number thirteen as he threw himself on the ground and began to writhe in pain. His azure orbs became dilated and his heart beat faster than ever in his chest as the moon that was kingdom hearts shone down on him through his window.
"Oh, yes I am." Roxas stood up and smoothed the wrinkles in the front of his cloak, grabbing a rose off of his desk and placing it in his mouth, "Axel, baby. I'm coming for you."
End Chapter 2!