"Omg- look at the pink one!" Hilde held up a hideous hot pink suit.
Siegfried chuckled a bit, but then realized she was serious. "Umm, no."
"Why not"
"It's hideous."
"You just haven't given it a chance!"
"What? Why do I need one, anyways?"
"Because you would look so charming in one!" she turned back to the rack to put the suit away, when she saw the most adorable little girl with the cutest orange, curly pigtails ever heading towards the craft supplies section. "Hey, it's Amy! I wonder what she's doing…" they decided to go say hello.
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"Let's see… glue sticks? Don't work. School glue? Also useless. Elmer's glue all? Meh. Glue guns? Ouch. Glitter glue? I'm trying to be inconspicuous! What- no super glue?"
"Yo, Amy!" Hilde slapped Amy's back, causing her to jump about 3 feet in the air.
"HOMIGAWDIT'SNOTWHATITLOOKSLIKEI- oh, hi Hilde. Siegfried."
"Whatcha buying?" Hilde asked, ignoring the fact she was surrounded by glue. Amy resisted rolling her eyes.
"I need glue. Well, super glue. But they're all out…" she had finally spotted the empty section marked 'super glue'. "What are you doing here?"
"We came here to buy Siggy a suit!"
"Why? Are you getting married or something?"
"Nope- it's for yours and Raph's party!"
"…I wouldn't bother if I were you. It would probably get wrecked anyways." she smiled at the victory arm pump Siegfried did behind Hilde.
"Why?" Hilde was rather confused.
"Well, we did invite, like, everyone, you know. Why, the party hasn't even started yet and I've already lit the couch on fire, broke four windows and broke a priceless family heriloo- IMEANISAIDNOTHING!"
"…is that what the glue's for?" Siegfried asked.
"Umm, yah. It's a priceless vase."
"Ouch."
"Oh- I know! Let's find you an employee to help!"Hilde grabbed her arm and dragged her to where they might find an employee.
---------------------------------------------------
"No, Home E does not sell condoms," A Japanese girl with sleek black hair pulled into a high ponytail snapped her gum loudly.
"But it's Home Entertainment, riiiiiiiight?" a very sleazy looking customer in a business suit pressed. She thought she might have recognized him form Honest Ed's Used Cars- the guy who somehow convinced her to buy a spontaneously combusting donkey.
"No, it's Home Electronics. Condoms are over there," she pointed to a whole row labelled "condoms" with a large, neon sign.
"Well, miss… 'Tacky'," he said, mispronouncing her name tag, causing her to cringe, "I'll have you know I used to work in Zellers in my teenage years, so I know Wal-Mart like the back of my hand!"
"What? That doesn't even make sense. And my name's Taki."
"That's what I said, Tacky. Now, I'm complaining to your boss for bad service! Where is your customer service?"
"Go straight that way and turn right at the door," she pointed out to him.
"Hah! I knooooooow you're lying!" he stomped off, opened a door, stepped through… and went tumbling down stairs to the basement. Taki shook her head.
"Um, excuse me miss ninja chick who, like, stalked that samurai guy?" a voice came from behind her.
"MY NAME'S TAKI, DAMNIT!" Taki shouted.
"Uh… sorry," Hilde backed away.
"Err, my bad." Happy employee, happy employee, happy employee… she muttered through gritted teeth.
"Umm, ignore her. Anyways, do you know where we could find some super glue?" Amy asked sweetly.
"In the section clearly labelled 'glue'. Duh."
"We looked in there, and there was none."
"Oh, really?" she tapped her chin with her finger. "We might have some out back. Would you like me to check?"
"Please!" Amy begged.
"Alright then," Taki went behind the counter and pulled out a rifle, a set of Miracle Blade 3000's, and the Master Sword.
"Hey- where did you get the Master Sword come from?" Hilde asked.
"I have no idea. Anyways, this could take a while, so you might want to find something else to do. If you aren't here when I come back, I'll page you," she turned and started walking towards the entrance to the stock room door. Before she reached it, she turned around and spoke," If I'm not back in an hour, call for help." She disappeared through the door.
"There goes one brave soul…" Hilde whispered.
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"Hey, Maxi! Whatcha think of these?" Kilik called out to his friend.
"Pretty cool! How about these?" Maxi replied.
"Wicked!"
"Hey- why are we buying pants in Wal-Mart anyways?"
"Well, maybe it's because… uh… hey- a fedora!" Kilik picked up the hat and tried it on. "How do I look?"
"Hey, you look like that guy!"
"Which guy?"
"From that movie!"
"Which movie?"
"You know, that one! Where they do that thing!"
"Oh, that one," Kilik said sarcastically.
"Yah! That one!"
"Uh huh," Kilik put it back, still having no clue what Maxi was talking about.
"Awwww. You don't want to look like that guy?" Maxi asked sadly.
"Umm… look! Pants!"
"Whoah!" Maxi continued browsing.
"Can I… help you with anything?" a female employee with long black hair pulled into a long ponytail asked seductively.
"No, I'm fine, thanks," Maxi didn't even look up.
"How about you try on… this?" she picked up a hot pink strapless dress, not noticing he was kind of ignoring her.
Maxi, noticing a flash of blinding in the corner of his eye, finally looked up. "Umm, I actually want pants, thanks."
"Oh, really? Then perhaps I could help you try something on, then?" she pulled a random pair of pants (which just so happened to be bright white disco pants) off the rack and started walking towards him. Maxi, getting somewhat alarmed (yet liking the pants), started backing away. But the woman was persistent and soon had him backed into the wall…
"OMG- a creeper!" Kilik shouted abruptly, finally noticing Maxi. He ran over and tackled the woman to the ground. "Wtf Shura?" he noticed who he had just tackled.
"Whoah! Cat fight!" Maxi shouted.
"Wait, Kilik's a girl?" Shura asked.
"Wait, I'm a girl?" Kilik asked.
"Really? I never knew," Maxi replied.
Their fight continued until a voice from behind them caused them to stop.
"Kilik! What are you doing to my wife?!"
Kilik and Shura immediately stopped fighting and turned to stare at the very peeved off Cervantes.
"You wife?" Kilik was in disbelief.
Shura sighed and got to her feet, brushing off the dust and adjusting her ponytail. "It's true," she started, "See, none of that story about Cervantes and that tavern owner's daughter and leaving Ivy on the doorstep is true. In truth, she's my daughter."
"So you just left her on a doorstep?" Maxi asked.
"Well, we were young and irresponsible. Anyways, do you want to hear the story of how we met? Why yes you do!" she proceeded, not letting a word in otherwise. "You see, it all started in high school…"
"Oh great…" Maxi groaned.
"One day I was walking down the stairs at lunch to the commons when someone threw Wheat Crunch over the railing. I dramatically leapt to the side to avoid the falling lumps of wheatie goodness… and fell down the stairs. But to my luck, Cervantes was at the bottom and caught me… oh! It was love at first sight! So we fell in love, got married, built a house, and had two kids! Ain't that wonderful?"
"Wait… two?" Maxi asked.
"Well, yes, actually. She doesn't know it, but Taki's also our daughter," Cervantes admitted.
"WHAT?!" Taki shouted from behind him, along with Hilde, Siegfried, and Amy.
"How are babies made?" Kilik piped afterwards.
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Finally I got this finished! I was hoping to have it done in a few days, but exams start this week so all my teachers are throwing in as many last minute final projects as possible.
Edit- If you are reading this, it means I have figured out how to add a new chapter! I've already failed once!
