This one's a little... eh. I don't know. It's angsty and kinda mushy. But I wrote it, so I may as well do something useful with it. Sorry if anything's out of character. I get a little carried away and emotional :P Oh well :) Hope someone likes!

I don't own Gakuen Alice.

Oh, and I wanted to point out that the different chapters in this story don't connect together in any way. They're just random drabbles. Different settings, ages, time periods, and all that for each one.

Enjoy

"Need. P-pills… now," Natsume fell against the wall in the infirmary hallway, panting hard, the pain in his chest rising with every breath. He gripped the edge for support, resisting the urge to fall to the floor now and lie there forever. The pain was getting bad again, but there wasn't any time for healing yet.

"Oh, dear," the nurse he'd spoken to turned and came to Natsume's side. "Just look at you. Come on and lie down." She could see that not only was Natsume drained, he was injured. Blotches of black and blue were dispersed all over his body, tears were in his uniform, exposing crimson stains. He was covered in ashes and scrapes. He panted like a dog from the sheer exhaustion.

It happened all too often. Natsume was becoming a more regular patient as he used his Alice more and more. Drained his life more and more. And not only did he refuse to stop, he refused proper treatment on many occasions, just opting to take a handful of pills to ease the pain and suppress the coughs and then go on like normal and use his power all over again.

She didn't understand what made the boy do it. Was he delusional? Natsume was all too aware of his quickly dwindling lifespan… he didn't seem to care. And he was in pain, so much pain.

"Really, Hyuuga-kun, you're unwell. Rest here for a little while, please."

"I'll be fine. Just give me the medicine," the raven-haired boy choked out the words.

Defeated, the nurse knew there was no making him. She hurried into another room and returned with a little orange bottle and handed it off to the young boy.

"Thanks," he grunted, wincing as the pain piqued again. Hurriedly, he twisted the cap and swallowed four, dry, and as quickly as he came, Natsume Hyuuga was running out the door.

He stopped short when he almost ran into somebody in the lobby, as they were coming in and he was leaving. Perplexed, the other person stepped back, and the blonde-headed Kaname Sono stared down at Natsume, smiling. Joining him was his best friend, and the all too familiar voice of Tsubasa Andou said,

"Natsume-kun? You're in an awful hurry."

Natsume nodded, "Yeah. I have to do something." He struggled to keep his voice calm. The burning pain grew, and the agony was tearing at his chest.

Kaname saw the pain in Natsume's expression, and at second glance saw all the injuries that covered the boy head to toe. "Natsume-kun, is there something wrong?" he asked gently, though he knew the answer.

Natsume clenched his hands into tight fists; he didn't have time to argue, so he spat, "Yeah."

Kaname gave a sad smile, "Maybe you want to talk about it? I might know a thing or two." He only offered because he knew that in this case, he actually understood the Natsume Hyuuga best.

Natsume shook his head, trying not to frown. "No thanks. I have to go." He pushed his way past the two seniors and took off running.

He ran hard, towards the woods, in an effort to just get as far away as possible before it came. He couldn't let any doctors or anything see; they'd drag him off to bed. He couldn't let anyone see. He sprinted until he couldn't bear the pain anymore, and collapsed under a sakura tree in the middle of the forest.

It felt like a knife was in his chest, and Natsume clutched it desperately as he coughed. Retching, he curled up in a ball on the grass and the warm taste of blood filled his mouth. When that passed, a raw, sore, burning was left in his throat, his chest throbbed, and his lungs ached unbearably. More blood came from God knows where, and he could feel the stickiness on the grass he lie upon. Nothing could motivate him to even care. He lie there, gasping for air, holding his torso tight as tremors of pain wracked his entire frame.

Just a little while longer and it'll pass… come on.

After what felt like an hour of agony, but was likely only a few minutes, the pain began to slowly ease in Natsume's chest. Then his throat. Soon enough, only a dull ache remained in his lungs and a little sting from some of the cuts and burns. Natsume sat up slowly, leaning against the tree trunk in defeat.

It was a never-ending cycle. He would be called out on a mission, get destroyed mentally and physically, and return with barely enough time to kind of heal himself before another assignment arrived. It happened again and again. He was a damn Academy puppet.

He hated it. He hated them. The Academy. Forcing him to go out and act as their personal murder machine. Expending his energy and his life. Okay, so Persona would argue it wasn't force, but how could Natsume not agree when the alternative was to place everyone he loved in danger? His sister, Aoi. Ruka. Mikan. Any of his classmates. Better him than any of them. None of them deserved it. He did. He was the one with the Alice that was designed to destroy. What else could he use it for but harm? So many people... so many flames. Screaming… He was so guilty. Sure, a lot of the people he killed were criminals, but he was no better now. He was a murderer. He took lives. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters… he was responsible for ending their lives, for destroying their families. Even criminals had families and people who mourned for them. It was Natsume's fault. It was all his fucking fault…

Just like the fire.

What else was he good for anyway? This Alice, the so-called gift was his damn curse. He was stuck with the uncanny ability and incredible power to destroy. And they all just couldn't wait to take advantage of that. That fucking gift.

'Natsume's so talented.'

'Natsume's a natural born fighter.'

'A killing machine.' 'The Black Cat.' 'Slyest, smartest, and most powerful assassin yet.'

"This is what I'm talented at," Natsume said to himself in defeat. "Being powerful and dangerous. Destruction."

The breeze blew gently, stirring up fallen sakura petals and rustling his hair. Petals surrounded him, falling like pink snow, and he snatched one and incinerated it in his palm. He stood up quickly, giving a punch to the tree, liking the hole it tore in his knuckles. "Destruction's my talent. Might as well destroy."

Feeling the artificial power high that came with the drugs, Natsume has his Alice back. He light up his palms, and threw flames at the innocent sakura tree. Moving on, he torched the next three trees, almost laughing when they went up in an eruption of orange heat. He ran again, heading deeper into the forest, leaving flaming footprints in the grass as he went.

Fury overtook him and he screamed at the top of his sore lungs as he reduced two more bushes to ash. He torched the flowers that bloomed at his feet, and then, feeling the heat of the giant inferno he'd created around him, he took off his sweater and tossed it into the dancing flames. He watched as the wall of fire closed in around him, telling himself he was so proud of what he'd created.

See, Alice Academy. See how talented Natsume Hyuuga is? You said so yourselves. I am so powerful. I did all this.

Mezmerized in watcghing the flames, Natsume stood right up beside his blazing forest fire and looked right into the heart of this monster and laughed. So this was what it looked like to all his victims in their time of death. Faced with a wall of flames and smoke, and staring into it's white hot heat until it surrounds you and engulfs you and you burn. You scream and panic and agonize.

Natsume let out another agonized scream and plunged into the sea of fire, wishing—but knowing he wouldn't—burn like the people he murdered. Not a single flame touched him, though, his Alice also serving as a protectant against his own creation.

He sprinted through the sea of flames, feeling almost like a surfer might inside of a curling wave. He plowed through the tunnel of flames and came out the other side, at the edge of the woods and gave a fleeting glance back at what his rage had done.

His eyes went immediately toward the base of the forest, where the few trees that were not yet completely engulfed stood. He watched as animals of all shapes and sizes fled the scene. Squirrels and chipmunks leapt from treetops, birds flew by the hundred, deer and rabbits ran wildly, all looking terrified. Now he was horrified too.

Rabbits. Ruka.

Overwhelming guilt and regret washed over Natsume's entire being. Ruka. Ruka was all he could think of as he watched scared and innocent wildlife running for their lives. Running from the monstrous beast he'd created. He'd destroyed their homes, all because he had a senseless fit of rage.

I didn't think I could make anything worse.

In one second, Natsume extinguished the flames he held in his hands, and like a switch, the flames went out, and Natsume was left to stare, horrified, at smoking ashes that used to be the bright green forest.

He couldn't bear the pain and shame that was rising in him now. Like he always did, he turned and ran away from the new problem he'd created.

He made his way into the Northern Woods this time, and fell to his knees under a pine tree. He knew that somewhere close lived the sadistic bear that that idiot Kaname had created, but he figured if the thing wanted to beat him up, he deserved every last bit.

I hate myself. Natsume collapsed to the dirt, curling up in the bed of pine needles that covered the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest. He wanted to kick himself. No, he wanted to burn himself, but he never could. Pain filled his chest, a new kind of pain. It wasn't physical; it was worse. Tears filled his eyes, and Natsume let them fall, succumbing to sobs when they came. And for the first time in a long time, he discarded pride, and just cried like a child.

After a miserable time that could have been hours or seconds, Natsume became absently aware of soft hands on his shoulders.

So someone had found him. It was one of two people; only two people would ever actually go looking for him. He crossed his fingers it wasn't her. She didn't need to see him in this state of darkness. She would never understand. She would hate him. She would be afraid.

"Natsume," a familiar voice spoke soothingly. Ruka's voice.

Natsume made no response. Ruka should hate him. Hadn't he seen what he'd done?

"It's okay, Natsume." Ruka's hands pulled Natsume involuntarily up off the ground and wrapped around him tight, cradling his head into his warm chest. "Don't cry."

"Ruka...I don't know what… I lost control. I… I can't believe I… destroyed so much. I'm so…"

"Shh," Ruka said softly. "I know. It wasn't your fault."

Natsume didn't reply. The two boys stayed content with embracing each other, and Ruka wiped Natsume's tears as they streamed down. It'd been so incredibly long that Natsume had held it together. Ruka held him there for a long while, stroking his soft hair and his back, and whispering meaningless coos of comfort. He was so incredibly sad for Natsume, for this entire situation, but just a little bit happy because he was here being his best friend's comfort.

When they broke their embrace, the two lie down on the cool ground, side by stared up at the now darkening sky, Natsume finally drying his eyes.

"How did you find me?" Natsume asked Ruka. "I thought you were in Central Town with everyone else."

"I was," Ruka nodded. "Tsubasa-senpai came and found me. He said there was something wrong; that Kaname-senpai insisted someone go see if you were okay."

Of course. I should have known better than to brush off those two. Kaname really is a caring person that way, and Tsubasa's nosy as hell.

"Don't all the teachers know? Shouldn't they all be marching over here and dragging me away to be punished…?" Natsume swallowed hard. "Does Persona know?"

Ruka held Natsume's hand. "Narumi-sensei followed me here. When he saw I found you and you were alive, he left. I don't think you'll be punished. Narumi's funny that way; he seems to be able to convince all the teachers otherwise. He said he was going to make sure that Persona wouldn't know."

Natsume sighed. "That stupid Naru. So strange."

"He's awfully helpful like that sometimes, though."

"Hn. Ruka?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." Natsume's crimson eyes found Ruka's sapphire ones.

"Of course, Natsume," Ruka smiled.

"You're not angry about everything I destroyed? You can tell me if you are. It's okay. All the animals running… All I thought of was you…" Natsume mused, words coming out clumsily like they hardly ever did.

Ruka gave the other boy's hand a squeeze. "No. You didn't mean to. Everybody breaks."

Natsume squeezed Ruka's hand back. "I'm pretty tired. We should go back."

"Okay," Ruka said, standing and helping Natsume up. The two walked back toward the school side by side, silent as the sun set behind them. They made their way back to the dormitory and at the end of the hallway where their two rooms were split, Natsume stopped and asked,

"Stay with me tonight?" It was the first time he'd ever asked Ruka, versus the other way around.

"Gladly." Ruka smiled sincerely at his best friend.

They went to Natsume's room and quickly prepared for bed, even though it was just barely after sunset. Natsume was dead tired, and Ruka wasn't going to keep him from rest he needed. The two got into Natsume's special star bed and it was the greatest relief.

Before letting himself fall into the clutches of sleep that were desperately calling for him, Natsume rolled over to press his cheek to Ruka's side. Ruka wrapped one around his shoulders and pulled him so he could lie on his shoulder.

"Sleep. Everything will be different tomorrow," Ruka told him. He resisted to say that it would be "better." He knew the reality of the world in which Natsume lived.

"Mm," Natsume murmured, already on his way there.

"Goodnight, Natsume."

Natsume's eyes were shut tight, his bruised, ashy, face gone emotionless and calm. Ruka laughed quietly, as not to wake the serenely sleeping boy in his arms.

Reviews?

Thanks for reading! :) Sorry I'm so emotional and dramatic. Was it too out of character?