All The Broken Pieces

Of My Heart

Chapter 1: Zack - Mistakes

"I'm sorry Zack…"

Zack drained another glass of liquor. It was no good, it wasn't nearly enough. He could still hear the blonde's voice. He could still feel the pain, every time his heart beat.

"Another." Zack commanded the bartender.

The raven haired woman eyed him uneasily before moving to fill the man's glass once again. Zack moved to take the glass when a hand moved in front of his blocking the path to the glass, stopping him. Before he could recover enough of himself to turn to the owner of the opposing hand, a familiar voice spoke, "I think you had enough, Zack."

Zack looked up to find his auburn haired friend at his side.

He was wearing a brown sleeveless top, that was showing his shapely figure rather well; along with a pair of simple fitting denim jeans and his never absent ebony cowboy hat. He was standing his full 6ft at the bar, one hand blocking him from his drink, the other at his side as his blue eyes bored into Zack's own.

He sighed when Zack said nothing in response and asked, "What are you doing here, Zack? What's wrong?"

Finally coming back into himself and processing what his friend was saying Zack turned away mumbling, "I don't want to talk about it." I just want to forget…

"Zack…" his friend started exasperatedly.

"No, Irvine, just…forget it…just leave me alone tonight." taking the glass Irvine had been blocking from him and pressing it to his lips mumbled, "let me forget…"

let me forget it all: this pain from my heart being broken in two… I cant bare it…Why Cloud? Why…?

Zack drain his glass and called over the bartender again.

"Why wont you talk to me, Zack? What happened? Why are drinking like this? Its not like you…"

Zack only glanced at his friend, doing his best to ignore his presence completely as the raven hair woman, another friend whom had tried earlier to consul him, came over.

"Just leave the bottle." Zack informed the woman, Tifa.

She hesitated, and looked to Irvine but before any exchange could be made between the two, Zack swiftly took the bottle and poured himself another glass and drain it dry, all within the same movement, and then he repeated it.

Zack could feel Irvine's eyes on him, after Tifa had left, watching him as he downed one drink after another. He felt ashamed for turning to alcohol like this to sooth himself, but he could think of nothing else. Nothing else that would drowned or at least numb the pain in his heart, besides this…but it had yet to do so. Thus Zack continued to drink one glass after another until he realized there was nothing left and he could no longer see clearly.

Could he feel? No, he felt nothing but his light dizziness caused from his excessive drinking. He laughed, it was nice… It didn't hurt. He couldn't even remember the reason he was so sad before. It was bliss…

"Zack…Zack!"

Zack turned as he felt someone roughly shake him by his shoulders and calling to him. He found a blurred figure. After a moment of waiting for his vision to clear, he realized it was Irvine in front of him. He couldn't remember when he had come or why but he was happy to see him. They could go have fun. Laugh and joke as always. Then Zack blinked and realized Irvine was speaking to him so he began to tune into it.

"…go now. Zack? I think you've had enough, now… are you paying attention, Zack? Do you hear me?"

Zack smiled at Irvine goofily, "Yeah I can hear you, Irviii. Soo, you wanna go out somewhere? We could to karaoke and go hit on some girls-"

"No Zack, the only place your going is home and I'm going to bring. Lets go." Irvine got up and moved to pull Zack to his feet by his arm. Zack clumsily made it to his feet smiling drunkly at Irvine, "So you wanna hang at my place? Soundsss guud."

"Sure…"

Irvine pulled one of Zack's arms over his shoulder and began to help him out of the bar. About everything after that was a blur and then blank…

* * * * * *

The Next Morning

The warm morning light woke Zack from his sleep. He opened his eyes slowly but as soon as the light hit them, his head began to pound. "Argh!" Zack covered his eyes and came to the conclusion: yes, he was indeed hung-over.

Giving up on covering his eyes to get ride of his pounding headache, Zack removed his arm and looked about himself. He was home, he was in his bed but…how? He had a pretty good feeling he hadn't gotten there on his own, if his pounding head was much to go by. Zack glanced down at himself and noticed his shirt was off and curiosity getting the better of him, he lifted the covers and released he was completely naked. Zack quickly covered himself back up, about to freak right there when he noticed something else… He felt…gross. He lifted the covers again and noticed he had come over his lower regions, Zack went wide eye.

What the…did I bring someone home and-

He broke off in mid-thought when he noticed another substance mixed within the come and around it… He looked closer lifting the covers more and noticed the substance was…blood.

Zack could feel panic rising with him.

D…Did I…hurt someone?

Zack touched his head uneasily and looked around his room for some evidence toward what his suspicions were.

"Oh. I'm surprised you up already."

Zack eyes went wide as he turned and saw his friend Irvine in his doorway. He had a glass of water in one hand, the other held something as well, and he was dressed in Zack clothing.

He didn't look hurt but…could he have?

No…no…please tell me I didn't…

"Did…something happen last night, Irvine?" Zack asked, his tone sounded as worried as he felt…he felt a little sick as well. It wasn't all the hangover, he knew that much.

Irvine had made his way over to the bed by the time he had responded, "Yeah, you got plastered."

Zack face grew warm, he still couldn't believe he had don't something so stupid to numb his pain. It may have worked for that little bit of time but now…look where he was. He may just have hurt on of his closets friends in one of the worst ways. He needed to know. Did he do it? So he went on and rephrased his question, "No, I mean, I remember that but…did something happen afterwords? Did I do something to you?"

Zack thought he saw Irvine's eyes widen a bit at that, in surprise it seemed, but then went back to a neutral, serious face. Irvine was never this serious, unless the situation called for it. …did the situation call for it?

"No, you dragged me down into a puddle on the way here and then passed out when we got here. If that's what you meant by do something to me, then yeah. But no, nothing happened." Irvine handed Zack the water and, what turned out to be pills, in the other hand, "Here take those, you're hung-over, and probably feel pretty awful."

Zack took both from Irvine and just examined the water as he thought about it.

Maybe nothing happened…maybe I'm overreacting…

Zack tried hard to remember even the slightest of what had happened the night before, but got nothing… But then he remember something from this morning, the blood. There was no way that blood got there without a reason…and Zack could only think of one.

Zack shot his head back up to Irvine. "You're lying! Something did happen."

Irvine blinked at him and replied, "No, Zack, nothing happened. Just take the medicine."

"Please tell me what I did, Irvine. Please?"

"Nothing happened, Zack! Just take the freakin pill!"

Zack stopped and just watched Irvine for a moment.

Something happened…

He thought as he took the medicine Irvine had given him, setting the glass to the side when he finished.

And I need to know what…

He looked back to Irvine, wearily and asked, "Irvine…Did…I rape you?"

Irvine just blinked in utter shock then shook his head and turned to leave, "Don't be stupid."

"Irvine!" Zack called after him.

Irvine turned at the doorway to the room, "Nothing happened that I didn't want!"

He paused for a moment then went on in a calmer tone, "I'm fine. We had sex, no big deal."

Zack frowned at him, "There's blood on my blankets."

"…So it got a little rough. I'm a guy, I can take it."

"I hurt you."

"I'm fine."

Zack looked down ashamed. Then he gripped on his hair in frustration, "Shiva, I so sorry, Irvine…I'm like the biggest ass ever…"

"No stop that. You're making me feel awful."

Zack just continued to sit there with his head down.

I am the worst person alive…the worst friend…

Irvine went on after long pause, "Look Zack. I have work today. I need to get going or else I'm going to be late. Nothing happened besides some casual drunken sex between friends. I'm fine. Now…just take care of your self and I'll call you soon."

Zack looked up to find Irvine giving him a smile, that he just knew wasn't real. As Irvine turned from him to make his way to the door, Zack noticed he was walking awkwardly…

Irvine left through the front door and was gone.

Zack sighed in exasperation, gripping his hair and lowering his head,

"What have I done?"

the first half of this section of the story - Zack and Irvine
In the next half you will see what happened through Irvine's POV

There is alot to come. I hope someone may take interest in this story. Though it will be full of angst.

Take care all. And please review. I'd like to know your thoughts as always ^^