When Emma was a kid, she had seen the ad's in travel stores and on TV for boat cruises. From little outings to whale watching, to month long river cruises; she had always had a curiosity to travel on a boat. After saving up some money in her twenties to travel, she had made sure she had experienced a boat cruise. As she had traveled along the Mekong and then later on, along the Rhône, she enjoyed the clarity and peace of mind that the feeling of sailing gave her. However, today was different.

A peel of laughter drew her attention to the bow of the boat where Neal was teaching their son how to steer a ship. Henry's smile was infectious, but today Emma felt removed from its joy. This was what he had been waiting for, for longer than anybody knew. To go on an adventure. To be with family. But his apparent disdain of her, was too upsetting to ignore.

Here, cooped together on a pirate ship with his parents and grandfather Henry was in his element. Despite the fact that he refused to speak to his mother, and his grandpa was slowly dying, he was enjoying the feeling of the fresh sea air, the comfort of his dad and the excitement of his first quest.

Emma however, was overwhelmed with emotions. Stress, shock, contempt, fear, hope and ultimately… love. No matter what Henry did to her, she would never stop loving him. That was a parents curse, once your child captured your heart, you could not let go. However this attachment to someone who appeared to hate her was hurting her more than she expected. Throughout her life Emma had developed a 'hit and run' personality. As soon as she sensed something negative amongst a relationship, she would get up and leave. Move on with her life, and start over in a new place with new people. Since she found her family though, she had learnt that was the one thing you couldn't do. Abandon. This knowledge whilst comforting, had the tendency to make her feel slightly claustrophobic.

Therefore as she watched the New-York coastline rapidly disappear, she couldn't help but reflect on what a mess her life had been since the curse broke.

First she had been stuck in the enchanted forest with her bestfriend-come-mother. It had taken what seemed like months to return home to Storybrooke, a place that now seemed different from the home she had come to love. With everyone realizing their true identities, the atmosphere of the town had changed by the time she had returned home. And being one of the only people to not have a split identity she had felt as though she was once again invading a new town. Needing to suss out the atmosphere, how things worked, and the people who lived there.

However, it hadn't just been her situation that had turned her life crazy in the past couple of months. Upon finding out she possessed magic, everything she ever thought she knew was well and truly turned on its head. At the age of 4 she had stopped believing in the magic of Father Christmas. At 5 she was proved fairies didn't exist, when she woke up one special morning to find her first fallen tooth had not been magically swapped for a 1 dollar bill. She was merely a small child when all hope for the worlds mystical opportunities were lost. And being proved wrong, when a women's hand got stuck inside her chest had been a massive shock. Ever since that moment the rollercoaster that was her life had been travelling upside down, at triple speed.

She and her new family had jumped from obstacle to obstacle. Archie dying. The emotional and rehabilitating Regina. A Funeral. A car crash. An outsider. Cora and Hook arriving in Storybrooke. A Death threat (by a newly discovered family member.) A flight to New down Mr Gold's son. Who turned out to be her ex-boyfriend. The one who sent her to jail. Pregnant.

Ever since that moment, when all hell broke loose in Neal's apartment, Emma had been running on adrenaline. She had barely slept all week, and it had been months since she had actually slept through the night. In a bed. With nothing to worry about. Ever since she had broken the curse, there had always been something to do. Someone to chase. Someone to mourn.

However, the look on Henry's face when he realized she had lied to him was the extraordinarily bad ending to a really bad week. She didn't even know if he would forgive her. And with everything else that was going on, the one thing she knew was that she couldn't live with was her son hating her.

All Emma wanted to do was to stop for a moment, and take a long, hot, uninterrupted bath, with a bottle of whiskey, or red wine… she wasn't picky. She needed to unwind, to take stock of her life. Figure out a game plan, and cry. But how could she do all that? Where could she fit in an evening or even an hour for herself? She was a mom now. And on top of that, the sheriff, the savior. Someone who had more responsibilities than fingers. All she could do to survive was focus on what was important in all the mess. Her family. Henry, Mary Margaret, David… Neal. She needs them. She needs them alive and well. And keeping that task in mind took up every moment in her day.

"Life's full of surprises isn't it?" Neal had said only an hour or so ago before her perception on reality was once again trampled by a herd of elephants. And what had she done. Smiled, and agreed. As if surprises were a good thing. But Emma knew that she was getting to the point where if people keep sprouting surprises on her she would break.

After 24 hours of having Neal back in her life, she was finally getting used to the idea. She still hated him – there was no doubt about that, but there was another emotion buried deeply amidst all the rage and abandonment issues he had created. Something akin to hope. Hope for the future where they could at least resemble something of normal people in regards to each other.

But then, another bomb was dropped.

They were in a hurry when they arrived at the shiny new car, Gold was dying and they had left him with an eleven year old to care for him. Nevertheless, Neal seemed fairly adamant to tell her something. And as he was acting as though what he had to tell her was infinitely more important than his dying father, she tried to listen impassively. However, they were interrupted.

"Neal!" a women exclaimed, as she ran down the sidewalk towards them. She was pretty. Her skin glowed, her hair was nicely styled, and her outfit looked carefully arranged. As she approached Neal, "thank god I caught you," Emma couldn't help but feel a little inferior with her messy hair and 'I packed my bags for this trip on zero sleep' ensemble.

Neal was quick to reply "What are you doing here!?" as the woman leaned in for a soft, quick hug.

"Oh I don't know, I got a little worried after talking to you, you can't just say you're… leaving town for a while." As Emma watched the exchange she noticed how uncomfortable Neal seemed, and how his friend didn't look impressed that he was leaving town with some random woman.

"Hey listen alright, every things fine ok? I promise" Neal jumped in to calm the woman. Emma was instantly uncomfortable with the way the two interacted. The sweet hug, the worry. the support. the reassurance. It was all too much for her. She needed to hurry things up.

"Alright sweetie, then just tell me what's going on" the woman suggested.' They didn't have time for this' Emma thought. As Neal paused, thinking of something to say, Emma butted in.

"Neal!" she prodded, hoping that reminding him she was standing right next to them would end the display of affection, and encourage his thoughts back to the problem at hand.

The woman glanced between her and Neal, quickly assessing the mood, before sharing a sweet smile and extending her hand.

"I'm Tamara," she announced. Emma assessed her rapidly before replying. She had a light but firm handshake, as well as a friendly and confident smile.

She smiled in return and politely introduced herself. "Emma" she announced warmly to Tamara, hoping that the woman would leave them alone, whoever she was.

As the two women smiled at each other amicably, Neal rejoined the conversation. Delivering the news that once again floored Emma. "My fiancé" he added, with a wary look on his face. Tamara smiled broadly at his words, genuinely happy to hear him spread the news.

As an explosion occurred inside of Emma she tried desperately to school her features into a calm mask. In one moment she felt so many things. Wonder that someone would marry the abandoning bastard, who left her in jail. Worry that this woman would interfere with Henry and Neal's relationship. Shock that as screwed up as he is, he still has managed to find someone to love and marry, where as she has no one. Pain that he would be more than happy to marry Tamara and settle down, whilst he couldn't do that with her. Fear that if they actually did get married, that the possibility of 'them' would never ever be able to happen. Not even if she wanted it to.

As the couple said their goodbyes, Emma excused herself to sit in the car. She didn't need to see it. Them being all sweet. It was just too painful watching someone get the life she had wanted so badly.

The drive back to Neal's apartment was awkward, Emma could tell he wanted to say something about Tamara… but she really couldn't handle it if he did. She needed time, to take stock of her life. Organize her brain, and figure out her feelings.

Neal opened his mouth to say something as they turned onto the block where his apartment was located. But Emma beat him to it, luckily avoiding the dreaded topic of Tamara.

"So, should I go inside and get Henry and Gold with you or wait with the car?" she asked, hoping to keep the topic on the here and now.

Neal paused momentarily, processing her question. "Uhh… yeah whatever."

"Alright… I'll stay down here and call my parents… let them know we're coming" She suggested, taking her time to dig in her pockets for her phone in order to relieve tension in the car.

"So you found them huh?" Neal asked as he scanned for a car park.

"Yep…" Emma murmured as he pulled into an empty space, and hopped out.

Hey! So here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed it :) - reviews would be lovely :p