Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, the brilliant Stephenie Meyer does.

Author's Note: I was really surprised at all the feedback I got from the last chapter, thanks! I couldn't just stop writing this; so here's some more of Emmett's crazy words and some frustration on Edward's part. Please review and tell me what you think.

And this may be important…despite Bella's comment about her and Edward's psychical relationship, this takes place after Eclipse, therefore it is now Edward who is the sexually frustrated one.

BPOV

After the dinner fiasco, Edward shoved me a box of cereal while he took a shower. I had to admit; even in raw meat Edward still looked good. I sat upon the counter, the Cheerios box settled into my lap. At random intervals I'd pop one of them into my mouth, intently listening to Jasper and Emmett on the other side of the kitchen. They must have forgotten I was in the room; they'd disregarded their vampire hearing.

"…and he calls me immature," vented Emmett keeping his safe distance from Jasper, who much to everyone else's dismay was still covered in raw meat. He had used the excuse that he just wanted to Alice to see, and that he would take a shower right after she got back from another shopping excursion. I didn't need Alice's sense of the future or Edward's mind reading ability to know that Jasper was hoping to turn her on. I quickly shuddered and stuffed a handful into my mouth to keep myself from saying something stupid.

"Yeah, and then he attacks me. Bella was in the next room, it's not like I would have killed her being twenty feet away. He should be tackling Bella, not me. Perhaps if we smother her in raw meat…" Jasper trailed off and instantly set his eyes on me, with a smirk painted across his face. Emmett soon followed in his actions, only his smirk seemed a billion times bigger.

They strode over, too slow for a vampire, probably to prolong the humiliation I was about to endure. Emmett leaned against the counter to one side, Jasper the other. I looked down at the both of them, and I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I didn't need a mirror or Edward telling me how red I was. "Bella," chimed Jasper, his fingers dancing around in the air.

The box of cereal slipped from hands, and fell upon the floor, scattering Cheerios everywhere. That was the least of my worries. I could feel the lump in my throat grow considerably larger, and I did my best to swallow as I awaited one of their ideas. "Well Bella you were trying to come onto him before, weren't you?" chuckled Jasper. What? How did he know? Of course Edward didn't tell, it had been awkward enough for us both.

Alice.

"Well what did you expect from us, Bella? We were bored and we had Alice, and well…damn it Carlisle had Monopoly with him!" Emmett was blubbering almost incoherently, as if he was scared of my reaction. I made a mental note of his worries: raw meat and angry humans.

My face pulled itself into a grimace, and I whispered, loud enough for only vampires to hear, "How much did you see?" I tucked my face down, in complete shame as I felt my face delve into a deeper shade of red.

Jasper laughed at my obvious embarrassment and continued on like it was just a harmless joke. "'Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?'" His voice imitated Edward's so perfectly, that I started to wonder why he wasn't down here stopping them, he was capable of hearing. My embarrassment switched over into anger. Damn it, I knew he could hear, and a part of me felt as though he was probably laughing.

Angered, I jumped down from the counter, not minding to the mess that I was creating by stomping around on the cereal. Jasper and Emmett were soon at my side, still snickering like their life depended on it. I elbowed them both, only hurting myself, as I turned into the living room. Before I could make it to the stairs, Jasper stood in front of me, still smiling. "C'mon, Bella, please," he pleaded. He was the male version of Alice, only instead of begging to make me over; he was groveling to cover me in raw meat just so it could turn Edward on.

The thought only made me angrier as I tried to step around him. He blocked me, and Emmett soon piped up, "C'mon Bella it will be fun, trust me."

"Coming from the guy who squeals around raw meat," I retorted. That ought to do him in.

"Why not, Bella?" asked Jasper in all seriousness. Did he honestly need an explanation as to why I found it nauseating to covering myself in raw meat just so it would somehow entertain Edward?

I shook my head quickly, almost digging myself into a hole of dizziness in the process. I quickly regained composure and prepared myself to answer. This was going to be a bit difficult. "Because I…I think it's just gross and besides we," I could feel my face reddening by the second, my voice cracking into an inaudible whisper, "we've decided to wait." I buried my face into my hands, awaiting their roaring laughter.

"Oh," Jasper quietly commented, obviously overridden with the emotion I was sending off. Complete and utter embarrassment.

I suppose I expected in some unfathomable way that Emmett would cool it, or not push anymore of the subject that was gently tearing away at my little confidence. But that would most certainly not be Emmett. He fixed his posture –how was his posture going to distract me from whatever ungentlemanly thing that was going to trail from his mouth? – and started, "Well he's been devising ways to make you crack." A smile spread across his face, as though he had some hand in these plans.

No, that wasn't like Edward; he wouldn't push me to do something I wasn't comfortable with. But Emmett would, he most definitely would. "No, he hasn't," interjected Jasper quickly, trying to ease my worry. "But Emmett has been, and he's proposing them to Edward. It's like a game to him." Jasper's face painted obvious distaste.

"Well I'm sorry if I can't find anything to do. I mean after Rosalie took away that Mr. Potato head, well I've been a bit depressed about it." Emmett explained deeply as though we were in a therapy session. I wanted more than anything to run from the room, without falling, but that part of me kept itching to know why exactly she had taken it away. It was just a harmless toy, or so I had thought.

"Why?" I murmured, sure he could hear me.

"Well," Emmett began exasperated, like it was a huge story, "Rosalie and I were, well you know, we were doing what you and Edward are not." A smile spread across his face. "And well, I guess I sort of thought she'd enjoy it, if we had a stuffed potato with us."

My face twisted into horror, a stuffed potato, Rosalie and Emmett? Jasper obviously picked up on my emotions and started to laugh. "What?" I demanded.

"You have no idea how repulsed you are," he chuckled before exiting the room. I glared after him, before switching my attention back to Emmett who was now lounging on the first few steps.

I took a few steps, taking a cautious pace – I didn't need him laughing at me-, and slowly walked up the stairs. The conversation that took only a few moments ago washed itself from my mind, making clear space to find Edward and demand why in the hell he didn't stop them, or why he didn't come to get me. Like always he did.

The floorboards creaked a bit underneath, and I knew Edward could tell I was near. Beside that he would have heard my heartbeat, caught my scent, or read Emmett's thoughts of laughing his ass of at me. But absolutely no sign of Edward aroused anywhere. I walked a bit faster, disregarding the fact I was susceptible to falling. Damn it, why wasn't he coming. "Edward," I mumbled, knowing he'd hear me.

And before I could scream louder and perhaps fake some pain, his door creaked open. Nothing came from the door, him or anything else. Well what else was there? I heard his melodic voice carry from his room, and into the halls. "Come in, Bella." I made my way to the door, and pushed it open, not paying much attention to the surroundings. I expected him to be lounging on his bed, ready to come in his arms.

But no, Edward had to make things a billion times worse. White and red candles, a mixture of different floral scents, filtered through the room. Red rose petals scattered throughout the floor. It was so clichéd, I felt as though I'd rather be downstairs having the same conversation with Emmett and Jasper, again. Before I could focus my eyes on finding him, his hand was intertwined with mine, as he came up from behind me.

He smiled my favorite crooked smile, as he led me over to the bed. I couldn't object, the way his hand felt on mine and the scent that blanketed around me was just too much. As much as I wanted to stop it, I couldn't. I found myself in his arms in a matter of second, the back of his thumb caressing my cheek. I smiled, and locked my arms around his waist. He sighed, heavily, and crushed his lips against mine.

And then I knew I was screwed. His sweet breath ran wildly in my mouth, and I wanted to savor every bit of taste that it held. His hands secured themselves onto my face, and prior to trying to stop him, he hovered over me, making sure I could feel absolutely none of his weight.

His hands lowered, gliding across my neck, and subtly touched the buttons of my shirt. He got one undone before a loud smashing came from the door.

Alice stood there, a mortified look drawn upon her face. "Edward Anthony Cullen, what are you doing?!" Her voice screeched throughout the house. Edward immediately looked up, and if he could, he'd be redder than me. I hastily buttoned up the one he had managed to get through. She had a pink shopping back dangling from her left arm, and she quickly pulled out a box with bright colors and lettering. I couldn't quite make it out, until Edward whispered.

"Monopoly," he whispered, in shock.

"Yes, I was afraid we'd need it," her face focused on me as she continued, "and look at you, taking advantage of Bella!"

Edward flopped back down beside me, sending vibrations throughout the bed. I sat up, along with Edward. In an irritated voice, he spoke, "At least it's not Mr. Potato Head."

A/N: I'm not going to lie, I kind of rushed throughout it. I hope it's halfway decent, and humorous. If it's that bad I'll take it down, but yeah. Please review and tell me what you think!!