Wow! You guys like me! You really like me! LOL!

I've got to say that I never really expected this kind of response. There have been some really great suggestions regarding Brumby and Renee. One in particular, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I will try to respond to your reviews in the future. I love the feedback and it helps drive the machine, so thank you.

Life still goes on and I hope to update as much as possible. I do still have my other story to continue (Life After the Toss). I'm not exactly sure whether or not to continue or wrap that one up. Kinda in a bit of a block with that one. Oh well. I'll keep plugging along with Russia until inspiration strikes.

Again, thank you for the follows, fav's, and reviews. Keep them coming and I'll do the same with the updates.

Alrighty then…ON WITH THE SHOW!

0145 Zulu / 2045 EDT

26 September, 1998

Harm's loft

North of Union Station

Harm pulled back a bit and just stared at her with a million things running through his mind. How he had thought about that very question since they kissed on the dock at Norfolk.

However, before he could form a response, Mac continued, "No, don't answer yet. I need to get this out first; then you can take all the time you need to answer.

"Harm, in the last two years, we've been through so much; more than any two people probably should. I've come to see you as my best friend, the one person I can turn to for anything…the only person I want to turn to for anything. I…I don't ever want to lose what we have. With my history, that's what happens. Men come into and out of my life so fast that it makes my head ache from all the spinning. You know that history and have never judged me for that. You have no idea what that has meant to me.

"I first realized you would never leave me up in that mountain when I got shot by those poachers. You were there for me when I got drunk after Coster killed Dalton; looking out for my career. I don't think I've ever, properly, thanked you for all of it. Harm, thank you so much for being there; for being you.

"We've spent so much time together, whether on investigations or bouncing strategy off each other on our various cases. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. I've thought a lot about what this all means in regard to how I feel about you. I want to tell you so badly…but I'm afraid to tell you…in…in case…you…"

While she was talking, Harm was thinking along the very same lines as far as how he felt about Mac. As she said "in case you" he brought his finger up and touched it to her lips to silence her.

Harm stood up and started pacing in front of Mac, marshalling his thoughts, five strides to the right and then turning about ten the opposite direction. How he'd thought of the best way he would broach this very topic with her. He so wanted to take her in his arms and convey his desire for her with a searing, passion filled kiss. No, that was not the RIGHT way to go about this. She deserved so much more than desire and passion. She had received that from her previous lovers and that's not what he wanted for "them". Mac…no…SARAH Mackenzie deserved so much more than that from ANY man. She deserved love, affection, and everything she ever wanted but never received. She wanted "a great career, good man, and comfortable shoes; lots and lots of them." Harm chuckled inwardly at the memory.

She had the first and third wants. All that was missing was the one in the middle. Harm wanted to fill that void. However, with the knowledge and emotions he now had regarding his father's passing, Harm couldn't help but think that a relationship with Mac should wait. Would she let him have time to grieve? Would she allow him the time to get his mind and heart right? There was only one way to find out: Tell her every thought he had going through his mind.

Ok, Harm. Deep breath…good. Let it out…SLOWLY IDIOT! There, that's it. Ok, now go sit down next to her…gently. Ok, now to give the closing argument of your life. Harm thought as he put those thoughts to action.

Harm began, "Ma…Sorry…Sarah, I don't think I could have made it through the last two years if it hadn't been for you. You've been there to watch my six through hell AND high water, both literal and figurative.

"Whenever I got in over my head with investigations or just my stupid aviator pride, you were there both as a sounding board and a life preserver. You've done more for me than any one person should for another. You've become my partner, then my friend, then my best friend. I could never be able to thank you enough for all of that.

"Now that we've found out what happened to my father, I'm not sure that I am in any way, shape, or form mentally or emotionally capable of getting into any kind of romantic relationship with any woman…"

Mac was about to get up to leave when Harm touched her arm gently. She just wanted to get out of there, run home with her tail between her legs, and call the Admiral for a transfer as soon as one was available.

Then she stopped and turned to look Harm when he said, "Wait, please? I need you to hear me out all the way or you'll never have your answer.

"I need you to know that I don't want a relationship with any other woman but YOU. You, Sarah Mackenzie, are everything I want…no, need in my life. I don't want a life without you in it. It's just that right now…with…with knowing what happened to Dad…I just can't start something with you right now. My head is just swimming and my heart still hurts from losing him all over again.

"As far as any other woman goes, not a single one compares to you. You're beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed, caring, and an awesome lawyer to boot. How could I NOT love you the way I do? Yes, I said it. I love you Sarah Mackenzie. I love you so much that I don't want to get into a relationship with you right now with all my emotional baggage. You don't deserve that. You DO deserve so much more. I just don't know if I can give it to you RIGHT NOW. Would you wait for me?"

Mac blinked.

"Sarah?" Harm asked.

Mac blinked again.

"Sarah?!" He asked, a little louder this time.

Mac shook herself with a start and looked into his blue eyes. "I…I'm sorry. You lost me when you said 'love'. Harm, I have loved you for so long. I have loved you since you said you would defend my Uncle Matt. I have wanted to hear those words from you since we kissed on that pier at Norfolk. I knew I had to wait for you; even when I was with Dalton and left JAG. I had hoped that you would wise up and come to me since the frat regs wouldn't matter anymore.

"I want to be with you more than anything and I am willing to wait. However, Flyboy, you are not going to go through this time by yourself. I'm going to be right next to you throughout the whole thing. One thing you should do is go to Bethesda and see about talking to somebody about this. You need to talk to someone trained in grief counseling. This is going to be so hard on you IF you try and do it by yourself. I love you, Harm. Let me help. Please?"

The search for his father over the last thirty years had done nothing for Harm but help him close himself off from anyone who tried to help. It strained his relationship with his mother, especially when he ran off to 'Nam / Laos when he was fifteen.

His relationship with his step – father, Frank, was even worse. Harm resented the man for trying to take his father's place. When in all actuality, Frank just tried to be there for the trouble boy he had come to love as his own flesh and blood; thus the money he made available to Harm recently. Harm hadn't requested Frank's help. Frank gave it openly without regard to how Harm felt. If Harm really thought about it, Frank did everything that a typical father does. He never took it personally whenever Harm screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!" Frank was the only father figure Harm had growing up; and in small ways, was much more like him than Harm wanted to admit. Now, Frank was the only father Harm had. Harm would have to seriously consider building that relationship; if not for himself, then definitely for his mother.

More importantly, right now, was the woman he loved standing in front of him. He was taking his time to contemplate everything Mac…Sarah had just told him. She loved him. 'That's why she went with me, not just because Chegwidden ordered her. Damn, I love her even more now,' he thought to himself.

Harm looked at her once more and answered, "I'm not sure what talking to a head shrinker will accomplish. For you? I'll do it. I promise. I'll call tomorrow morning and make the appointment. For now, what do you suggest we do about 'us'? "

Sarah decided that now was as good a time as any for her confession. She stood and began to wear her own path directly where Harm had moments before. She truly hadn't wanted to tell anyone, but she had to tell Harm. Taking a deep breath, she began with, "I need to tell you something else which you're not going to like. Something else from my past that is still going on."

Harm looked at her with a quizzical expression that begged her to continue before he said, "Go on."

Again, she inhaled deeply and continued, "Harm, I told you that I left my father when I was seventeen, right?"

Harm just nodded.

"What I didn't tell you was that I moved in with a couple guys from high school that were living on their own. Eddie, my best friend, and Chris Raggle, whom I married after I turned eighteen."

Before Harm could respond, Mac held up her hand asking that he wait before continuing.

"We were both drunk and in Las Vegas. Since we were both 18, the chapel people didn't ask any questions. It was shortly after that when Chris was arrested for stealing a car. He was sent to prison for five years.

"Shortly after Chris was incarcerated, Eddie and I went to our high school prom. We got drunk and when we left, Eddie got behind the wheel to take us to another party, where we most likely would have continued drinking. We got about half way there when Eddie lost control of the car and we crashed. Eddie didn't make it."

At this point, Mac was shedding a steady stream of tears. Harm started to get up to comfort her, but was halted, once again, by her raised hand.

"I spent the day of my graduation still in the hospital. Once I was released, my Uncle Matt took me out to Red Rock Mesa to dry me out and kick some sense into me.

"The answer to the question I know is running around in your mind is: Yes, Chris and I are still married. The answer to your next question is that I just could never afford the expense. That seems like a copout answer, I know. I knew I didn't want to be married to Chris anymore; considering he was the final link I needed to break to my past, other than my alcoholism and my parents. The truth is, I really don't understand why I haven't completed the divorce. There are no ties to him whatsoever, other than guilt for actually marrying that SOB."

Harm stood up at this point and walked over to the desk and sat on the edge. He couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. 'Married? What the…? How…? Why…?' were the thoughts going through his mind and Mac could see it.

For all his eloquence in a courtroom, Harm could not seem to form a single sentence let alone a single word. Harm was speechless for forty – eight seconds by Mac's count. When he finally did speak, he repeated his previous question, "So, what do you suggest we do about 'us'? "

Mac tried to read his face. There was no guile, no anger, nothing that would suggest he was upset with her. She took about six seconds to think, then said, "Monday morning I'm going to the legal services division and filing for divorce. After that, you and I can go talk to the Admiral about our change of status. I'm not sure what the Admiral is going to say considering we're in the same chain of command."

Harm stood up full, walked over to her and wrapped his arms around Mac, giving her a full blown 1.000 watt Flyboy Grin; which had the effect of making Mac's knees buckle. Sensing this, Harm hugged her tighter.

Mac squeaked in response to her sudden loss of feeling in her legs and Harm's subsequent assistance. Then she wrapped her own arms around him and tucked the left side of her face into his chest as Harm bowed his head down to kiss the top of her head.

To Harm, none of what Mac professed mattered to him. What mattered now was their new relationship and the resolution to the one large fly in the ointment; which would start to be taken care of in a couple days.

However, as all the emotions of the last couple weeks caught up with him again, tears started to come from Harm's eyes. Having lost his father, again, and with finding out that the woman he was holding loved him, and now with the utter fatigue thrown in; Harm began to slump over.

Noticing this, Mac asked, "Hey, Flyboy, why don't you get ready for bed. You've been through a lot recently and with the amount of rest that you have NOT had, you're exhausted. You go on and I'll take off and see you tomorrow."

Harm acquiesced to the first part of her request but wasn't ready for her to leave. "Why don't you stay? It's late and I wouldn't feel right letting you drive home this late at night," Harm asked as he looked at his watch and realized it was now well after midnight.

Mac bit her lip in contemplation and answered, "Are you sure? I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Come on, Mac. It's not like we've never slept in the same room before."

"No, just never in the same bed."

"I promise I won't hog the covers."

"You better not, Squid."

"Hey, I don't make promises I don't intend to keep," Harm said before he let go of the biggest yawn Mac had ever seen or heard.

"Go on, Harm. You get changed first while I rummage around and get something for me to wear."

Fifteen minutes later found the two of them changed and in bed with Harm on top of the comforter with his own blanket. He was not about to do something that would be misconstrued as improper; not when they were just starting out.

Mac released a contented sigh and found herself, instinctively, draping her left arm across Harm's stomach and laying her head on his chest. In response, Harm pulled his left arm out from underneath his head and wrapped it around and behind Mac ending with his hand resting on her side.

Without saying another word, they fell asleep with the knowledge that this was the beginning…

…their beginning.