Author's Note: I do not own Twilight. Twilight is the creation of Stephanie Meyer.
# 2
Edward,
The pain can ease, maybe even fade, but I know that this will scar us both, rather you choose to believe it or not.
This journal- that's what it is now- helps me keep the pain at bay.
But nothing can stop the horror of my nightmares.
What I see there is worse than you have ever seen, even in the minds of people. The horrors in my own mind are beyond your wildest imagination. I wake up screaming every night.
You thought that I could handle this. I can't. The closest I get to dealing with this is writing everything down in these letters. The pain can be tamed. We both know that. But it can never be fully healed. This cut is just too deep.
Don't blame yourself. I can't blame you for leaving, even though the pain is so bad that I can barely even function properly. You thought that you were doing what was best for me. You can say you don't care all you want, but a stupid, stubborn part of me refuses to believe it. Hence, the letters. On the point of what is best for me, I couldn't disagree more. Though I disagree, I believe that your heart is in the right place. No. Never mind. Actually, your non-beating heart should be here, in Forks, with me.
Come back to me. Please. My life is not complete without you. I belong with you. We were so close! We had almost made it to the finish line. How could you give up when everything we could ever want was right around the corner?
Now, since I'm thinking about it, I can't help wondering if that was why you left. I wonder if you left because you were scared of reaching the finish line. So you gave up.
It's funny. In my mental pictures of you, I've considered you many things. But I've never pictured you as a quitter. I never thought that you would stop racing when we were so close to the end. It just didn't seem like you.
In fact, it still doesn't.
I still love you, and I probably will forever.
Bella