Note: Okay, so this story's a bit slow starting, but bear with me!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related things belong to J K Rowling, I do not own anything at all.

2: The Letters

To Teddy's deepest disappointment he did not find himself standing at the front door of his house with his parents waving goodbye to the Potters until late that evening. Remus had retreated to the living room and settled in a chair to read, and Tonks had told him that he ought to go to bed, they would be up early in the morning to visit his grandmother.

"Get that mud off your shoes, else Gran will go crazy if you turn up in them!" Tonks called after him as he headed up the stairs.

They went to Andromeda's house for Sunday dinner every week and Teddy always looked forward to it. His grandmother was an excellent cook, she could rival Molly Weasley with her roast potatoes. But as Teddy kicked off his shoes, spraying the carpet of his room with mud, he couldn't help but dread the morning. For, knowing full well Andromeda's regal tendencies, the Lupins would wear their best clothes when going round for dinner. Remus always wore his pocket watch. But when he woke up this Sunday morning, it would not be there. He would find out it was lost. Teddy grimaced at the very idea that he should have to admit what had happened that afternoon, and pledged that somehow he would ensure that Remus would wake up to find the watch exactly where he had left it.

Which was how he found himself still awake when Tonks stuck her head round the door and whispered goodnight to what she assumed was her sleeping son. She blew a kiss and then the door closed again. Teddy stayed awake for another half an hour until he heard his father coming up the stairs. Remus opened the door, managing to be much quieter than his wife, and crept into the dark room. Teddy watched him through slit eyes as he stooped to pick up the discarded shoes and draw out his wand, clearing the mud away with a muttered scourgify. Once the shoes had been set down neatly at the bottom of the bed Remus crept back to the door.

"Goodnight Teddy." He said, making no effort to be quiet. "Get to sleep, it's very late."

Teddy opened his eyes properly and frowned over at his father's silhouette against the light of the landing beyond.

"How'd you know I was awake?"

Remus merely shrugged.

"Get to sleep." He repeated, before closing the door behind him.

Teddy waited a further fifteen minutes before climbing out of bed, pulling on his now squeaky clean shoes and donning a thick jumper over his pyjamas. He proceeded to creep across the landing and down the stair to the back door.

The back garden of the Lupins' cottage was small, but an old gate gave access to the woods beyond, though Teddy wondered if the gate had disappeared for it was difficult to find it in the dark. He stumbled along the fence searchingly, running his hand along the rough wood of the fence. He winced and withdrew quickly as a pain shot through his finger. He squinted at the splinter which had embedded itself in his skin, but could see nothing in the dark and was forced to continue despite the throbbing. Eventually he found the gate and it opened with a begrudging groan. Teddy set off down the path into the woods. It was harder still to see once under the cover of the trees and when he reached the spot where James had thrown the pocket watch he wondered how on earth he would find it. Still he was determined, and began to grope blindly around in the bushes, the twigs scratching at his hands. After fifteen minutes he began to give up hope of ever finding it, until his fingers suddenly met something smooth and cold. Teddy snatched up the watch in triumph, and shoved it into his pocket. It was much too cold to hang around, so he began to wade through the bushes back towards the path. It was then that he heard something crumpling under his foot, and he was sure it was not the leaves. Curious he stooped and felt around to find the source of the noise. His hand closed around a ball of scrunched up paper. Teddy peered at it, and wished for some light so that he could see it clearly. He put the paper in his pocket too and set off home at a fast pace.

When Teddy headed down to breakfast the next morning he was greeted by the smell of fried bacon. He padded across the room and sat at the table beside his mother, yawning widely.

"We're looking very sprightly this morning!" Tonks teased, as she put down the morning paper and reached for her coffee.

Teddy merely grunted in reply as his breakfast was set down on the table in front of him. He began to hurriedly shovel food into his mouth.

"Nobody told me it was a race." Remus said as he took a seat opposite his son. "Why the rush?"

Teddy shrugged the question off as he finished off the bacon and began to guzzle orange juice.

"You seen this?" Tonks asked her husband through a mouthful of fried egg, pointing at the newspaper. Teddy was saved any further questions as his father ;leant forward to examine it.

Within minutes he had finished his food and had hurried back upstairs to his room. Closing the door firmly behind him Teddy hurried over and snatched up the scrunched up paper he had found the night before. Lying on his front on his bed he carefully unfolded the paper excitedly, only to find the ball was made up of two scraps of paper. Choosing one to examine first he tried best to smooth it out as he looked down at it. He discovered that it was a letter, and at the top was the logo of St Mungo's hospital.

Dear Mrs Lupin, (Teddy read, squinting at the faded script).

I write in response to your letter dated the 5th. From what you describe I can tell you with near certainty that you are in fact pregnant. I suggest that you make an appointment to see either myself or a member of the maternity unit team. It is important that we check that all is well with both yourself and the baby. Wishing you the very best, with congratulations to both you and Mr Lupin,

Agatha Hutchkins

Head Healer – Maternity Unit

St Mungo's Hospital

Noting the date of the letter, some eight months before his birth Teddy felt an odd sense of excitement, yet questions arose in his mind. Why had his mother not thought to go straight o see a healer? And why had the letter been screwed up and thrown away? Surely Tonks should have treasured it? Feeling almost hurt that the letter had been so battered and discarded, Teddy reached for the other piece of paper. This too appeared to be a letter, yet only a small scrap remained, it appeared that this one had been torn up. Intrigued, Teddy found that he recognised his father's handwriting, though it was less neat than usual. Many words were hard to read for the ink had been smudged, as if droplets of water had disturbed the near lines and curves. Teddy slowly read the words, but with most of the letter torn away and lost, he could only make a little sense of it.

My Dearest Dora,

The first thing I shall say…

sorry. I know that probably…

must understand, I am certain this…

best. You may feel saddened by…

but this was all a mistake. It…

should drag you down, but to do…

child? I cannot, and will not ruin…

You probably think I said this before…

the same. I don't want to bring…

this world, knowing that it had me…

I can't be a father Dora. You know that.

why I must leave. It is best for…

Teddy stopped and found himself staring at the words.

I can't be a father, Dora. You know that.

I must leave.

This was all a mistake.

I must leave.

I can't be a father, Dora.

A mistake.

A lump caught in Teddy's throat and he felt tears gathering in his eyes. Remus had thought he had been a mistake. He hadn't wanted him. He'd even left for a while…

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Teddy hurriedly hid the papers under his pillow, desperately wiping away the tears as the doors of his room opened.

"Teddy?" Remus strode in to the room, book in one hand. He held it out for the boy to take with a smile. "I finished, you said you wanted to read…"

"No." Teddy heard himself reply quickly, shuffling back towards the wall. He had a mad urge to shout at his father to get out of his room, but managed to stop himself.

"Oh…" Remus withdrew his arm, frowning deeply. "Okay, well I'll leave it in the living room…if you change your mind."

Teddy said nothing, he simply stared. How could he have said he was a mistake?

"Are you okay, Teddy?" Remus asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Teddy replied, a little too quickly. But to his relief Remus merely frowned a little more and said:

"Well you best be getting dressed properly, we ought be leaving soon."

When the door had closed again and he could head Remus descending the stairs, Teddy let out a breath he had not realised he had been holding. He shook his head and got to his feet. Gazing at his reflection in the small mirror above the chest of draws opposite, he frowned.

"He doesn't think it was a mistake now." He told his reflection firmly. "He doesn't. He loves me." He tried a smile but it felt alien. His gaze fell to the pillow which concealed the letters and felt a sudden urge to cry again. He wished he could hide in his room forever, or run far, far away. Anything but go down to his father. Teddy couldn't help but feel deeply hurt. Betrayal stung him and before he knew it he was in tears again.