Herbology for Beginners

A/N:Our second amazing chapter! gasp

Chapter 2

As Beckett stormed through Hogwarts, angry that a rum-drinking lunatic was currently accommodating his office, and for that matter was his peer, and so came to storm into the Male Staff toilets.

"This isn't the Male Staff Toilets!" exclaimed Beckett as he glanced suspiciously around the Gay Bar,

"Neah, they're two doors back…" replied a queasy looking Minister of Magic, who was there for no apparent reason apart from to administer some magic- to who and what though was unspecified. With that the Minister wandered out in search of some medicinal teacakes, as Harry potter stumbled in from the same general direction from which he had come.

"Have you seen the Minister of Magic around here?" Harry enquired,

"I've only just got here!" replied Beckett huffily, wandering over to the bar to order some non-alcoholic alcohol, where by he was promptly flattened by an over-excitable Captain Jack, who was followed by a surprised, and consequently still catless, Commodore Norrington.

"Rum!" demanded the ever-drunk Captain, "and lots of me' arty, hic," Spontaneously Ron sat down beside Jack and did something not very interesting but decidedly distracting, causing jack to become sufficiently distracted to accidentally partake of Beckett's non-alcoholic alcohol in one giant swig, temporarily rendering him sober. In his sobering state he drew himself up to his fullest height, and become incredibly posh.

"Filth!" he said nasally, throwing the non-alcoholic beverage to the floor, "tis not rum most probably, I say chaps, EGAD!!!" Norrington gave him a funny look, as did Ron, who was sidling away attempting to be inconspicuous.

-------------------------------------------

As Ron approached Harry, who had given up his searching for the Minister, and who seemed untroubled by his brief and random presence, Neville sauntered in.

"I seem to be having some problems with my Mandrake, it seems particularly flaccid today," said Neville waving his mandrake in their general direction.

"Here let me help" offered Ron, whipping out his wand, "Wingardium Leviosa!" he yelled with aplomb (i.e. great enthusiasm). Neville's mandrake stood stiffly to attention,

"Thanks Ron" Neville grinned, fondling his now turgid mandrake. At which point came a yell and a muffled explosion, and a strange man-thing stepped out of the kitchen.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" demanded Commodore Norrington, who was making up for Jack's sobriety by swearing as often as possible.

"Ah!" exclaimed the tranny-mannie "You must be the Commodore Norway!"

"Norrington." Said the catless Commodore, looking rather pissed off.

"Never mind that!" yelled the girly man "I need to make my big introduction; I am Davey, lord and propitiator of this Gay Bar, mwa haha…! Stick that in spandex and suck it…"

A/N: Intro… Davey Havoc- our ultimate OC!

[See 'Chronicles of Davey'

Is this okay?