Chapter 2: Slow and Steady

Haley woke up early, and she dropped by the cafe early. Brooke and Lucas was already there. She went behind the counter, and poured herself some coffee. She didn't get enough sleep last night, especially with the reoccurring dream. She looked at herself in the mirror, and there were dark shadows underneath her eyes. She took a sip, and burned her lips.

"Hales, there's a party tonight, wanna come?" Brooke asked her.

"Uh...I can't. I took another shift tonight. Maybe next time." Haley said.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You said the last two times I asked you. Maybe you should take a break, you don't look so good." Brooke informed her.

"Yeah Hales, you almost look like Dracula's wife with your pale skin and your dark eyes." Lucas teased her.

"I'm fine. I just need an overload of coffee, and I'll be able to go on the rest of the day." Haley assured them.

When Haley turned her back, Brooke took out a pamphlet out of her bag. Haley saw it. "What the hell is this?"

Brooke looked at her. "I got it in one of my mom's drawers. It's for therapy." Haley glared at them. "We're not saying anything, it's simply a suggestion. Haley those dreams...maybe if you talk to someone about it, it'll stop."

"And what if I don't them to stop?" Haley retorted.

"You're dreaming about your dead mother, Hales." Lucas said.

"Can you just stop and listen to me. I miss my mother, is that so bad? Maybe having those dreams is fine with me because it's like I get to see her all the time, even if it is the worst possible thing that's ever happened to me. I don't need therapy, I need to just be alone for while. So stop treating me like I'm a child and like I'm about to break. I would've done that by now if I was going too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to school, and pretend we never had this conversation." Haley took her bags, and left the cafe angry.

As she walked through the quad, she saw all the students laughing with their friends, couples holding hands, and kissing in public. It seemed as if everyone didn't have any problems in their life, and she was only the one who was going through a tough time. She admitted that she was depressed, and she was sad all the time, but she wasn't suicidal or anything. Was it her fault that she missed her mom? Was it her fault that while everyone could go home everyday and talk to their mothers, she couldn't? Was it her fault that everyday she had to take care of her father because he just couldn't accept the fact that she was gone? After everything's she's been through, she had a right to be sad; to be depressed. She had to grow up at an early age, and never had a chance to truly be a teenager.

After listening to her own thoughts, the thought entered her mind. Maybe I do need therapy. She shook that thought away. She was going to prove Lucas and Brooke wrong. She was fine. She could be happy. She could go around with smiles on her face. Right?

After school, she went to the cafe as per usual, and did what she was paid to do. She gave everyone smile who walked in and ordered something. But she knew it wasn't how she really felt. It was quater to 9, and the cafe was practically empty. She started wiping down the tables, and she heard the chiming as the door opened. "We're closing early," she called out.

"I just came in here for the best cup of coffee in time." It was Nathan.

She chuckled, "Where did you hear that?" She took the mugs to the back as she did the night before.

"Around." Nathan leaned against the counter. Haley poured him a cup. "How much?"

"Don't worry about it." Haley turned around to put the pot back.

Nathan picked up the pamphlet that was left on the table. "Who's crazy?" Nathan joked.

Haley hesitated for a minute. "Brooke and Lucas left that for me." She admitted.

Nathan was immediately taken back. He regretted what he just said. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

She shrugged it off. "They think I need it." She confessed. For some reason she felt more comfortable talking about it with Nathan. Maybe it was because of the look in his eyes. He seemed like he wouldn't judge her, he would just listen to her, and that's all she wanted right now. Or the possibility that someone might actually want to listen to her talk. That she knew it was an option.

"I didn't mean that someone who needs a therapist is crazy. Sometimes I feel like I need one." He admitted to her.

She just stared at him. But when she returned back to reality, she noticed the cafe was empty except for the two of them. She cleared her throat, and turned off the lights in the kicthen. She placed her apron away, and took the keys.

Nathan walked out first again so she could lock up. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah," Haley smiled. She took a long breath, and walked away.

"Do you want me to drive you home again?" Nathan hoped she'd say yes.

Haley turned to look at him. "Um...Actually, I'm not going home yet. I don't really wanna see my..." She was about to say something really personal, but she stopped herself. "I'm not going home."

Nathan nodded. "You want some company?"

Haley thought for a minute. "Sure." Even though she just met Nathan, there was something about him that was so trusting. He wasn't like Lucas, there was something different about Nathan. There was a calmness in his eyes, and he seemed so reliable. Or maybe because it was easier talking to a stranger than someone she's known all her life. Nathan didn't know her, so even if she did decide to open up to Nathan, he wasn't able to judge her.

They just walked down the road, leading to the river. It was in silence, and it felt good. Nathan didn't push her to say anything, not like Lucas or Brooke. He just walked with her. Haley enjoyed it. She didn't feel any pressure. It was just Nathan and her under the stars, feeling the cool breeze on their faces, through their hair. She stopped, and sat on the edge of the bridge, letting her feet fall. Nathan joined her. "You come here often?" He asked her.

"My mom used to bring me here. Sometimes I come here just to think, just to be alone. I'd listen to the water, and just look ahead of me. And as time goes, I just forget everything else." Haley said.

"You miss your mom?" The answer was obvious, but he had a feeling like she's been dying to talk about to someone. Haley didn't answer, and Nathan didn't push her. "You know, I've lived with my mom and dad for my whole life. I can't imagine what it would be like if she passed away." Nathan tried to sympathasize.

"You shouldn't." Nathan looked at her. "I mean you shouldn't picture your life without her. Because it's nothing compared to reality."

Nathan stayed silent for awhile. "My dad was the one who planned this trip to Tree Hill. 'You should stay with your brother, maybe you could learn something from him'" Nathan imitated Dan. "All my life, he's treated me like I was better than Lucas, and now it seems like the table's turned. I'm better than him."

"But you went on the trip." Haley said.

"I didn't go for him. I went for me. I needed an outlet. Things at home just got out of hand, and coming here seemed like a way out of it. Plus, I got to get to know the brother I've always wanted." He confessed.

Hearing him talk to her about his personal life just a day after meeting her made her feel better in a way. He trusted her, and it made her feel like she could trust him. Since he opened up to her about something, she felt like she needed to say something back. "I've been getting these dreams about my mom for the past couple of weeks." She said, not meeting his eyes, but she feel his eyes on her. "It's her on her hospital bed. I'm holding her hand, and I'm crying. I'm asking her to stay with me for a little while longer. It seems so real. I could see her chest barely moving, and sometimes it seems like I could feel her heart beating with mine." She felt a big lump form in her throat, but she choked it down. "Than she tells me I have to be strong, and I have to take care of my dad. She tells me she loves me, and then her hand falls out of mine, and she's gone. That's when I wake up." She said to him. "I've never told anyone that before, not even Lucas. All he knows is that I have dreams..."

"I won't say anything." Nathan promised.

She chuckled weakly, "That's why they want me to go to therapy."

Nathan didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say to that?

Haley felt her burden lift a little. She never told anyone that - about her dreams, and she didn't regret telling it to Nathan. He had something safe about him that her have complete trust in him. He didn't interrupt her when she was talking, he just sat there listening. Also, she could tell that he wasn't hoping for her to shut up like most guys. Nathan was different. Talking to him was like breaking down the walls she spent her whole life building, but she was still afraid.

The reason why she never opened up to anyone was because she hated the vulnerability it showed. It would reveal her weakness, and that means that someone may use it against her. Even though she did open up to Nathan, there was so many more things that she wanted to hide. But what she was afraid of was that Nathan was the key to unlock all those memories. Could she trust him that much? She really wanted to become the person Brooke and Lucas wanted her to be, a carefree spirit. Maybe her mother sent Nathan to her so she could that person.