"I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide"
-Demons (Imagine Dragons)
Thirty Years Ago
"I have cancer."
The moment those words slipped out of Sam's lips, the room went silent. Each child lost in their own state of disbelief. Hiram was the one to break the spell as he pulled out his cell phone and began to dial a number.
"Hiram." Rachel looked at her eldest son.
"I need to call the best doctors." Hiram didn't glance at anyone in the room as he began to walk out the living room. "I know of a few who have a huge success rate. They can help Dad."
Sam grabbed his son by the arm to keep him from leaving. "I already did that." He told him gently. "The best money can afford, but they couldn't help. I have a new form of cancer." Sam wished more than anything he could take his pain away when he felt his body tremble slightly.
"That can't be right." He schooled his expression quickly, putting a poker face; not knowing he was breaking his father's heart. "I'll look into it."
"Leave it be."
"I can't," Hiram hissed at him. "When you handed me the company, I became the man of the family. I'm supposed to look after you, Mom, and my siblings, along with their significant others and my nephew. I'll do anything to keep all of you safe… and healthy."
"There's nothing you can do. I went to five different doctors and got the same result." Sam met Hiram's gaze. "I need you to understand that there's nothing you or anyone can do to help me. I need you to come to terms with this."
"Not without a fight."
"Hiram." Everyone in the room flinched at sharp tone except for Hiram and Rachel. "Why can't you understand that I have tried everything? I have come to terms with this and now so do you along with your siblings."
"What about Mom? You're just going to leave her?"
"It's not my choice to leave her, but she understands and has come to terms with this."
Hiram shook his head.
"Why can't you understand that all I want to do with my remaining time is spend it with everyone I hold dear?"
"Because I'm not ready to let you go!" Hiram shouted and his mask completely crumbed away. He knew he was being selfish, but he didn't care. The thought of losing his dad scared him. His dad had always been there for him and he knew that if anything went wrong, he could always go to him. His dad was the person he admired most and there was nothing he wouldn't do for him, but what he was asking for at the moment felt impossible to accomplish. "How can I? You're my dad…"
Seeing him act this way reminded Sam of how he felt when Leroy was passing away. How he had been in denial; calling in the doctor and when his mother told him a part of him still didn't want to believe, but there was no denying it when he saw the man dying before his eyes as Rachel sang to him. Sam knew exactly how his son felt and it was slowly eating him inside out because he couldn't help him this time. This one had to get used to and come to terms with at their own pace. But that still didn't stop him from trying to reach out to his son.
Hiram took a step away from him when he saw his dad move closer. Without another word he turned on his heel, ran out the living room and out of the house.
"Let him go." Dwight grabbed his father's arm to keep him from running after his older twin. "He needs time."
Sam looked at his second eldest son to see tears in his eyes.
"You should take it easy for now." He cleared his throat when his voice cracked.
"I know," Sam sighed and went to take a seat again beside Rachel, who wordlessly reached for his hand and twined their fingers together. She squeezed his hand, wordlessly giving him her support and courage.
"How long have you known?" Avery asked, her voice wavering under the onslaught of tears that threatened to burst forth at any moment.
"For three years," Sam responded truthfully, not wanting to lie to them for they deserved nothing but the truth.
Avery pressed her palms against her eyes physically trying to keep the tears from falling. "Oh God," she whispered, but her efforts were in vain because the tears still slid down.
"Three years…" Dwight looked at him with disbelief and a hint of betrayal. "You knew for three years and you didn't tell us?"
"We didn't want you to worry." Rachel stepped in for her husband, who she felt tremble slightly under the effort to keep his emotions in check. She knew how hard he was trying to appear strong in front of them—not wanting to cause them any more concern than necessary.
"Of course we would worry!" Shelby snapped as she tried hard to glare at her parents, but was failing miserably. "How long before you have to be hospitalized?"
"A month," Sam responded looking at them. "Do you think I'm an ass if I asked all of you to move back in and spend the month with me and your mom?"
The room became silent again, only to be broken by Shelby's tearful chuckle. "No, you wouldn't be, Daddy." She got up from her seat, went to the side of the arm chair on the couch and took a seat on it before wrapping her arms around her dad. "I would love to do that."
Sam looked at his two other children to see Avery wiping her tears away.
"I have no doubt that Alex will agree to this arrangement. I'll even bring Gabriel," she said, smiling at him.
"Come here." He let go of Rachel's hand and waved his daughter over.
Rachel scooted to the other side of the couch already knowing what he was going to do.
He pulled Avery down to take a seat between them and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. Sam looked over Avery's head to see his wife give him a tearful smile. He winked at her, his own silent way of telling her it was going to be okay.
Rachel shook her head at him, smiling, before standing up and walking up to Dwight.
Dwight wordlessly wrapped his arms around his mom, knowing she was going in for a hug. He playfully hunched his back and placed his chin on her head, knowing how much it irked her to be reminded of her small height—it was his own way of teasing her about it. He always did it as a way of telling her that it was okay after they have an argument. This time, his mother didn't hit him lightly on the back to correct his posture; instead, her small hands fisted his shirt and he knew she was just as affected as him with the entire situation. "It wouldn't be so bad," he said to both parents. "I miss not having bills to pay and the free food."
"Free loader!" Shelby playfully glared at him through her tears.
Dwight stuck his tongue out at her. "I'll even find a way to rope Hiram into this." He straightened his posture and lifted his mother off her feet holding her close.
"Thank you," Rachel whispered to him.
Dwight met his father's gaze and smiled. He will try his best to be strong for both of them and will do whatever was necessary to make the entire process less painless for everyone. "When do you want us to move in?"
This time it was Rachel who answered. "Tomorrow."
The next day Dwight walked into the house frowning.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked, concerned.
"I couldn't get in contact with Hiram," he sighed. "I made sure to fill his voicemail with messages, but he never called back."
Sam understood Hiram's distance perfectly, but it still didn't lessen the hurt. "I'm sure he'll come around."
"Sorry Dad."
"Don't be." He ruffled Dwight's hair as he walked passed him.
"He's not coming?" Rachel asked when she noticed Sam standing by the front door quietly.
Sam was about to respond to her when he noticed a black Mercedes Benz pull up in the driveway. He couldn't stop the smile that graced his lips when Hiram stepped out from the driver's seat before popping open the trunk and pulling out his suitcase. "He barely arrived," he responded to his wife, grinning, before walking out the front door to greet his eldest son.
Hiram saw his dad approaching and froze. He didn't know how to act in front of him after his breakdown. When Dwight called him the first time, he let it go to voicemail and then heard the message. The request his dad had made about moving in for a month was something he was capable of doing. He just needed more time with the idea of having to let him go. "Dad, I'm so—"
"Don't." Sam cut him off instantly as he pulled him into his arms. He knew that Hiram, out of all his children, was the least affectionate and had the most difficulty showing others how he felt. The day before was the first time he showed such vast emotion since he proposed to Lea. "I get it."
"I'm not ready," he stubbornly told his dad, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. In that small moment, he wished he could go back in time when he was a child—things were much easier. When finishing a project, that had been assigned a week ago, but due the next day was the hardest thing. How he would stay up late; his parents would help him and Dwight finish the project so they could go to bed sooner and not wake up late for school.
"Take your time."
Hiram pulled away from his dad. "About Dwight's missed calls, it was nothing personal. I was busy."
Sam raised an eyebrow.
"I talked to Lea and we made a change of plans." He met his dad's gaze. "Instead of having the wedding in October, we pushed forward until July eighteenth."
"That's two weeks from now."
"I know, but I don't know how long you're going to be here with us and I don't want to risk it. I want you to be there."
"Hiram—"
"And on that note, I should warn you that Lea called Finn and Quinn to inform them of the change in the wedding date. They were furious because the invitations had already been made and so they demanded to know why."
"She told them." Sam paled at the thought of his friends/family ganging up on him when they find out about his condition.
"We told them," Hiram corrected him. "Uncle Finn and the others are to be here in the evening." He smirked at his dad. "I thought it was only fair to warn you." He didn't wait for his dad to respond as he walked passed him and toward his mom, who had been standing by the doorway silently watching them.
"I'm glad you made it," she told him, smiling.
Hiram pulled her into his arms and lifted her off her feet. "So am I."
Rachel kissed his temple and held him close. "It's going to be okay."
"In time," he whispered. "I'll make sure…when the time comes, I'll handle everything," he promised and pressed a kiss against her cheek before placing her back on her feet.
"Don't burden yourself with too much and keep it all bottled in," Rachel warned him. "Your mom is a strong woman and don't you forget it."
"I don't, but it's hard not trying to protect you."
A wave of pure affection overwhelmed her and she couldn't resist hugging him again because no amount of words could convey just how much she loved her son.
Hiram got the message nonetheless, for their family was more of actions than words. "Love you, too, Mom," he whispered to her.
A flash of light ruined their moment.
"I thought I told you to take off the flash."
"I thought it was already off."
Rachel looked over her shoulder to see Shelby and Dwight bickering.
"Give me the camera or you both will be swimming with the fishes tomorrow morning."
"Hiram, don't threaten your younger siblings," Rachel scolded and tried hard to bite back a smile when Hiram sighed before glaring at his younger siblings, throwing his suitcase by the stairs and cracking his knuckles.
Gabriel came out the living room just in time to see Hiram tackle Dwight to the floor. At the last minute, Dwight passed the camera to Shelby, who tried to make a run for it only for Hiram to grab her ankle. "You're our last hope, Gabe!" she cried out dramatically as she gave him the digital camera. "Take it to your mommy!" she yelled just when Hiram yanked her ankle dropping her to the floor.
The little boy let out a giggle before jumping over his uncles and aunt to get to the kitchen where his mom was.
Hiram was forced to watch helplessly as his nephew went to Avery. Since she was the oldest from all of them, his authority didn't reign over her and she and Lea were the only one next to his parents that could ever put him back in his place. "I hate you two."
"You know you love us." Shelby wrapped her arms around his shoulders when he sat up.
"Let me go."
"Never!" She held on tighter.
"Mom! Dad! Tell Shelby to leave me alone!"
"So now you're a ten-year-old?" Dwight snorted.
"Shut up before I tell Mom about your commitment phobia."
"Do you think there's a term for that?"
"Ha! Mom's been knowing, slow poke."
"It won't be long till she starts trying to play matchmaker."
"She wouldn't do that to me!"
"Wanna bet?" Hiram smirked. "I'll give you three more months before she starts and, who knows, maybe she has already."
"Liar." Dwight turned to look at Rachel. "Mom, tell him he's wrong. Tell him you would never try to play matchmaker with me."
"What imaginary world have you been living in?" Shelby high-fived Hiram.
Dwight didn't take his eyes off his mom as he patiently waited to hear her words and shoved Shelby.
"Hey!"
"Well…" Rachel looked at her son helpless. "I really want a lot of grandchildren."
"Mom!"
"But most of all I want to leave this world knowing that each of you are with someone that loves you dearly as you do them. That each of you are in good hands."
All three of them became quiet thinking about her words.
"Well…" Hiram glanced at Shelby and Dwight. "You only have to worry about these two considering Shelby is in an ambiguous relationship with Shane and Dwight tends to run away from commitment."
"Shelby's in an ambiguous relationship with Shane," Sam said as he came to stand behind Rachel. "This is new to me. What type of ambiguous relationship?"
"Yeah, Shelby," Dwight looked at his sister teasingly. "What type?"
"I hate the both of you."
"You know you love us," Dwight and Hiram responded back cheekily.
"But on a serious note," Hiram frowned. "Has he deflowered you?"
"If he did, he'd better be prepared to put a ring on that finger."
"Shut up!" Shelby was mortified that they were pulling up this subject in front of her dad. "I didn't see you two dragging Avery through mud like this before she married Alex even when all of us knew that she was sleeping with him," she hissed and instantly regretted it when Sam let out a curse. He knew that his eldest had been sexually active with her husband before they got married. Gabriel being born six months after the wedding was proof of that. Still, there was a difference between knowing it and hearing someone say it.
"So the cat is out of the bag."
"Hiram, you're horrible!" Shelby glared at him. "You're not a virgin!"
"What are you talking about? I'm as pure as white snow."
"You're so going to hell for that," Dwight chuckled.
"Avery!" Shelby stood up and ran to the kitchen knowing that her eldest sister was the only one who could help her regulate the boys.
Hiram and Dwight smiled at their parents before chasing after their youngest sister.
"Maybe I should stop them before Avery beats them," Rachel said, chuckling, only for her husband to stop her by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. "What is up with all you Evans men lifting me off my feet?" She asked, smiling when Sam picked her up and her feet dangled in the air.
"It's hard not to." He kissed the top of her head. "You're the smallest in the family."
"Hey," she protested weakly, knowing it was true. Her daughters passed her by four inches and her sons are the same height as their dad. "Big things come in small packages."
"Yes, they do because you definitely are a handful."
"Sam Evans, you are so sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Only if you plan to join me," he whispered huskily into her ear.
"Sam."
"Fine, I'll wait until tonight."
AN: I want to give a huge thank you to my beta MissBreePhoenix for taking time off her busy schedule to help me. =)
I have decided to go back and forth between present time with Rachel and the past with Sam. That way I will get to show what happened to Sam as well having EvanBerry moments instead of it simply being implied. I also feel that it will help build more depth for the Evans family and also helps me share with you how I envision they are. I hope you liked this chapter because it was a challenge to write. I had to blink back tears in the beginning and can only that it affected you in an emotional level like it did me. If it did then I know I did a good job. Please don't forget to review, all I ask is for 15 reviews if possible. I would really appreciate it and I have the next chapter already written. I am just waiting for my beta to finish looking over it. (^_^)
I would to thank: MagdaIsOnFanfic (*hug* I'm really sorry for making you cry. Thank you for giving this universe another chance.), baboune3337 (It's always nice to see a new reviewer. Thank you! I hope you like it.), SamchelFreak44 (You're too sweet! I will try my best!), EvanberryFTW (You're words mean a lot to me! *hug* I hope you feel better soon & like what I have planned for this fic.), The Wonderful Mistique (Be very prepared because this is only the beginning!), msleaoverstreet (Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter as well.), Lena (I'm so happy you're joining me again in this universe! *hug* I'm going to need all the support I can get because I'm a wreck when I write these chapters.), and Guest (Don't be that way. If it makes you feel any better I was crying to when I wrote it.) for reviewing! You guys are awesome and it means a lot to me when you do. =D