A/N: First, I just want to say thank you all so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites, they really mean a lot. I really appreciate your feedback and the way the story seemed to draw different emotions and reactions out of each of you, which is definitely what I was hoping for.
Also, please bear with me while I continue to try to get the hang of each character; it's proving to be a bit more difficult than I thought, especially with the way the writers seem to be portraying Kensi this season (which to me seems pretty coldhearted toward Deeks most of the time). I'm sure I will get a feel for it soon, though. One more thing, I'm sorry for making the mistake of saying the box would make a return in last Tuesday's episode, "History"; I got it mixed up with the episode they're doing for NCIS: Red. Thanks bhemmen for the correction. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter and thanks for the encouragement to continue!
What had only been a few days had seemed liked a hundred years to Deeks. The night Kensi kicked him out of her apartment was something he would certainly never forget. Just picturing the malice in her eyes was enough to keep him up at night, tossing and turning until, at around five in the morning, he would finally give up and go out for a run to try and clear his head.
He couldn't seem to shake off the sense that something was definitely changing between them. Whether good or bad, he wasn't quite sure yet, but at the moment he had the gut-wrenching feeling that it was the latter.
Deeks knew Kensi probably shouldn't have treated him the way she did. Yes, maybe he was out of line to pry into her space simply for his gnawing curiosity to find out what was in the box, but the way she threw him out seemingly without a second thought? It was almost like saying that the past three years meant nothing to her—their partnership meant nothing to her.
He also knew he probably should have given her more grief about it than he did. All personal feelings aside, partners didn't treat each other this way. There was a certain element of respect that had to be upheld—just look at Callen and Sam, Deeks often reminded himself. They were as perfect a pairing as anyone could get.
But unfortunately there was one major problem Deeks couldn't always seem to overcome: the line between work and play. It often became muddled whenever he did…well, anything really. And especially when it came to Kensi, that line was virtually nonexistent. He was completely and utterly wrapped around her finger, of that he was more than aware, and it didn't look like it was going to change anytime soon. One look toward him from her perfect face, or even the slightest trace of a smile from those beautiful lips was enough to send his heart into overdrive and his mind into total chaos. That's why it was so difficult for him to try to force any sort of apology out of her. Even though he usually played it off well, everything always felt so disorienting whenever she was around.
Maybe he really did have all of this coming to him. Maybe the best thing for him to do would be just to let it go, to simply pretend as if nothing had even happened. He could silently forgive Kensi and then, hopefully, he could finally start to move on. Nothing good could come out of this one-sided love affair.
In his befuddled mind, this was the final conclusion that Deeks eventually came to.
He only prayed it would actually work.
Those next few days at work were certainly awkward, of course. As much as he tried to play it off, Deeks couldn't bring himself to even look Kensi in the eyes—not to mention the tension between them during car rides, which was absolute torture. On the plus side, however, it did make it a lot easier for him to focus on the case at hand.
And slowly but surely, after a lot of hard work and mental self-deception, Deeks could have convinced anyone that he didn't have a single care in the world.
Anyone except Kensi, of course.
For her, trying to see through Deeks was like looking through a glass window; it wasn't very hard. She could read him like a book, especially when he wasn't being himself. Normally the circumstances weren't too detrimental—so far most of his worries centered on whether or not they would finish a case in time for him to be able to go surfing later that day. But she never thought she would have lived to see the day that he had looked so…broken.
Kensi was awfully good at deciphering Deeks's attitude. When it came to love, however, she was no expert. Maybe it originated from the endless problems with her ex-fiancé, or even went as far back as dealing with her mother's supposed infidelity, but Kensi and intimate relationships simply did not mix. Thus, she simply let problems pass her by without facing them and came to the conclusion that everything would somehow resolve itself in its own manner.
This time, however…this time was different. She couldn't just stand aside and do nothing while she watched Deeks fall apart, from something she had caused. He was much too important to her. And, romantic feelings or not, he was her partner first and foremost. If she didn't do something soon, not only would their relationship be at risk, but their jobs (and lives, for that matter) could be at stake as well.
Kensi had to make it up to him.
But how?
Should she show him what was in the box?
No, no she couldn't. It wasn't time for that yet.
She had to think of something, though. Somehow, someway, she needed to make it right.
On the fourth day after the big "incident," Kensi finally mustered up enough courage to decide to try and face him.
That evening after work, after going through yet another day of hell with Deeks completely avoiding her, she found herself parked outside his small apartment building, staring up to the window she knew was his.
She approached his door slowly, anxiety quickly building up inside her chest. She almost turned around and left, but somehow found herself knocking on his door with a sudden sense of purpose.
Better to face him now, when he couldn't ignore her the way he did at work. Well, she supposed he could slam the door in her face. She knew he wouldn't, though, even if she did deserve it.
It took a few moments, but the door eventually cracked open, and a worse-for-the-wear looking Deeks stood curiously on the other side of it. When he saw who it was, however, she could see his face fall just the slightest.
Kensi automatically cursed herself for this. He had never reacted to her with disappointment before—defeat, even. Suspicion, maybe, but only when they had first met undercover and weren't aware of who the other really was.
Nevertheless, she tried to push his reaction aside and focus instead on the reason for which she came.
"Hey, Deeks." She paused for a moment, wondering if it was okay for her to be so straightforward. But she wasn't usually one to beat around the bush. "Can I come in?"
She waited in anticipation as he slowly processed her request, becoming fidgety after a full thirty seconds went by and he was still considering how to respond. He certainly was taking his sweet time.
But finally, he shrugged and stepped aside to make a pathway. "Sure, I guess. Come on in."
She stepped into his small living room and quickly took everything in. It was just as she remembered it from the two or three times she had been there before: totally spotless. The Deeks she first met had seemed so much different; she never would have guessed him to be such a neat freak. She had misjudged him about a lot of things, though.
A few seconds later Kensi heard the door shut quietly and she turned around to face Deeks. Suddenly, all of the things she wanted to say, everything she had been planning and practicing for hours on end seemed to be erased from her mind as he stood there, watching her expectantly.
She knew he was waiting for an explanation for the unexpected visit, but at the moment, words simply escaped her. Not knowing what else to do, she turned away from him and headed over to sit on the couch.
"Okay, take a seat then" Deeks said, sounding slightly exasperated, but mostly confused.
Kensi looked down at the ground, a little ashamed at herself. She knew she was being rude.
"Sorry" she whispered as he hesitantly fell into the cushion next to her.
They sat in silence for a few moments until Deeks finally asked, "Well, are you gonna tell me why you're here?"
Kensi sighed. Why was it so hard to just be honest with him?
"Yeah." She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. "Alright, well…I think you know what it's about, but I know I need to get it out in the open."
She looked over to his face to try and gauge his reaction. He continued to wait patiently, but his eyes gave away nothing.
Kensi gathered her courage once more and continued. "I know I shouldn't have treated you the way I did the other night. I was rude, selfish, and out of line, and I know I…I-" How was she supposed to say it? That she knew she hurt his feelings? That she was sorry she broke his heart? They weren't in high school anymore. How could she say it in a way he knew she really meant it?
"Deeks, I know I made you feel like shit." Okay, well that sucked, but it would have to do. She continued anyway, "And you know I hate apologizing, but sometimes it has to be done."
She felt his eyes boring into the side of her head, and she turned to meet his gaze with an intense stare of her own.
"I'm truly sorry Deeks. I know I probably don't deserve it but I hope you'll eventually forgive me." She sighed and looked away shyly. "I hope I can earn back your trust."
Kensi looked around the room, searching for anything to focus on besides Deeks. She never remembered feeling so vulnerable before. It felt like she was putting her head on the chopping block, and Deeks was the executioner.
The thing he did next, however, took her completely by surprise.
He suddenly reached over to lay his hand on top of hers, causing her to flinch and nearly pull away. He held onto it firmly, though, and gave her a small reassuring smile as she stared at him in shock.
"Thank you, Kensi" he said gently, before releasing her hand so she could slide it quickly back into her lap. "That's all I needed to hear. I forgive you."
It took her a moment to digest what he had just said.
"Are you sure?"
Deeks thought about it for a minute. Could he really forgive her that quickly? He knew that agreeing to become her friend again would probably only mean trouble, and it would certainly put a damper on the whole "getting over her" thing he had been working on. But in that moment, he glanced over to her, and she was looking back at him with such earnest in her eyes that there was no way he could have possibly said no.
Her lips twitched at the corners as they turned upward into a hopeful smile. God, she was so beautiful.
"Yes, I'm sure."
As Deeks watched the relief wash over Kensi's features, he finally gave her the most genuine smile he had given in what felt like years.
Although Deeks had officially forgiven Kensi the night before, she couldn't help but be a little uneasy as she walked into work that morning, hoping he hadn't somehow had a change of heart at the last minute.
Everything seemed to be fine, though, especially when the team started having an interesting chat about their plans for retirement. Kensi inwardly had a good laugh about Deeks's plans for the future because, well, it sort of fit him perfectly. The beach really was his true home.
After being given a new case that morning dealing with the Gun Barrel Party, things finally felt like they were getting back to normal. Maybe they really could put the past few days behind them.
Kensi usually tired quickly of the banter between her and Deeks, but she could honestly say she had never felt so relieved when it started coming back with a vengeance.
Preparing to set off for the woods to investigate the crime scene, they briefly discussed Deeks's plans to overcome his inferiority when it came to dealing with Sam. Deeks proceeded to explain to her his strategy by using the book he had received from Hetty for Christmas.
But already missing the banter and strangely wishing for more, Kensi suddenly had a devilish thought.
"Hetty also gave me an ancient book for Christmas" she mentioned casually, just knowing it would get the wheels turning in Deeks's somewhat perverted mind.
"She did? What'd she give you?" he asked with apparent curiosity.
"I'm not going to tell you" she answered mysteriously, hoping to get the reaction she was looking for.
When there was suddenly a new fire lit behind his eyes, and his mouth turned up into a knowing smile, she knew she had succeeded. "She gave you Kama Sutra, didn't she?"
Kensi gave him a mocking smile in return, but left without saying another word.
"Maybe we should start a book club, just you and I?" he called after her finally, followed by what she knew what his famous mischievous grin.
Oh yeah, they were definitely going to be okay.
A/N: Alright so I hope you all enjoyed this chapter a little more; I was very happy to leave it ending on a brighter note. And I know I didn't parallel it much with "History" but I feel like there wasn't really much to go off of in that episode, besides the part I did include. I love their banter and everything but I wish there would be some sort of evidence to show the progression in their relationship. But again I hope you're all enjoying this story and please be sure to let me know what you think!