"Burning the midnight candle again, Sakura-san?" The young woman awoke with a start as Shizune entered their office, opening the blinds to let in the morning sun. Sakura winced at the sudden invitation of bright light in the room while quickly wiping up the evidence of drool on her desk. She must have fallen asleep reading a pile of scrolls Tsunade had been making her sort through. On some days, Sakura wondered if she was nothing more than the hokage's over-qualified secretary. Not that she didn't count her blessings to be able to serve directly under the most politically powerful person in all of Konoha.
Her brain still adjusting to wakefulness, Sakura only groaned in reply. She stood up to stretch, and this alone required a little effort in excavating herself from the piles of parchment. This must be what it meant ot bury oneself in their work. On most days, this sort of dry humor on her part would have at least inspired an inward smile. But it was too early for that and as of that moment Sakura was feeling more than a little caffiene-deprived.
"What time is it?" The kunoichi asked as Shizune tidied up the office they shared. She was still struggling to remember at what point in the night she had drifted off.
"A quarter till 9. This is the second night in a row you have fallen asleep at your desk," Shizune said with a mild frown. Sakura never had an elder sister, she didn't have any siblings at all for that matter. Her father had passed away when she was young and her mother had never remarried. But she liked to think that Shizune often acted as the mature, protective sister her childhood had been devoid of.
It was sort of endearing.
"Do I need to have Tsunade-sama order you to go home on a regular basis, like last time?"
Except in instances like this.
Shizune was always quick to address Sakura's workaholic nature, lecturing her that it wasn't healthy, advocating the importance of a normal social life. But as far as Sakura was concerned, she was comfortable in this routine. A field mission here and there ocassionally broke up the daily landscape of her life. And it wasn't as though she was complete social leper. She had friends, Naruto was busy leading ANBU missions these days but he stopped by when he could. Her and Ino had long since patched things up, alot of the rivalry dying out by the time they reached seventeen.
"That won't be necessary Shizune-san. It's just I have been working really late these last few nights. I think I am really close to a breakthrough with that chakra-disease that we have been seeing in a few patients lately," Sakura answered. The papers littering her desk were evidence of this struggle. Peering at the notes now, the kunoichi felt as though her delicate hand-writing was mocking her, telling her that she was close but not close enough.
Shizune shook her head in disaproval, "That's all well and fine but what good will your mind be if you don't get some real rest once in awhile?"
Sakura wanted to reply with I'll sleep when I'm dead. But something told her this wasn't the type of answer Shizune was going to accept gracefully. Lucky for Sakura, she had long since become adept in the art of soothing the other kunoichi's nature to worry. "I promise that's just what I'm going to do right now. I need to eat some breakfast anyways. Let me know if anything comes up!"
The older woman nodded, obviously relieved that Sakura would be heeding her advice for once. Sakura quickly gathered her things, as well as any paperwork she could manage to stuff into her bookbag without gaining too much suspicion. With Shizune so eager to see her go home once in awhile, she would just have to take some of her work with her.
Sakura cut through the village square on her way home, It was still early enough that most of the daily traffic had yet to fill the area with noise and movement. Right now it was quiet, the merchants opening their shops and carrying about their daily chores before the hustle and bustle of village life takes full hold. By late afternoon, this entire area would become congested with old women and screaming children. One could say, it really wasn't Sakura's cup of tea.
There was nothing welcoming about Sakura's empty apartment. Truth be told, she didn't spend enough time in it to really call it home. A few sparse decorations, photos of Naruto and Kakashi-sensei, her mother. It wasn't difficult to tell she lived alone. A single-bedded futon in her bedroom, a single barstool at her tiny kitchen table. What she had wasn't much, but it served its purpose.
"Tadaima," she mumbled as she took off her shoes, immediately abandoning her bookbag by the front door. Sakura was still eager to get back to work, but the gurgling sound of her stomach reminded her of her first priority: food.
As a matter of convinience, Sakura didn't like to keep a whole lot of perishable foods in her kitchen. Even still, opening the fridge was sometimes an extremely foreboding experience. "Good news, ladies and gents! The eggs are still good!" She announced to no one in particular, slamming the fridge door behind her with a dull thud.
Hunger satiated after a small breakfast, Sakura pushed away her plate and began the task of opening mail. Important stuff she always had sent to the office, leaving personal letters and such to be dealt with at her leisure whenever she was home. A postcard from Lee, who was still doing liason business in the Wave Country, a letter from Kankuro in the land of the Sand. It had been several years since the day she saved him from a brutal poison wound, but ever since, the puppet-specialist claimed her as a friend.
He wrote to tell her that he was getting married soon, and that Temari and Shikamaru were having their first child in the Spring. Sakura smiled at this news, having since known it was only a matter of time before the unorthodox couple started a family. In some ways, Sakura envied Temari. It wasn't as if they were particularly close, but a part of Sakura longed for what the sand-nin had.
And what's that? A love life? She asked herself, feeling a little bitter. It could be that Sakura was approaching the age where most girls got married and settled down, but lately she had wondered if being the dutiful wife to some salary-worker was really what she wanted. Between Shizune and her mother, Sakura felt the pressure to meet Mr. Right. Maybe I've become too jaded these days. Whatever happened to my wish for a fairy-tale happy ending? Did I simply grow out of it or have become too pessimistic. . . ?
Sakura sat the letter down, her thoughts unfortunately drifting back to Sasuke. She always wondered about what could have been. If the rest of the world knew how often he crossed her mind, they would probably regard Sakura with a sense of disgust. As any sane person would after so long. Surely there was a certain point when it is necessary to let go. Easier said than done, I suppose, Sakura thought to herself as she washed her dishes. You can tell your mind one thing, but in the end the heart is still going to keep doing what it does.
"Kakashi-sensei was right though," she said aloud, as if the sound of her own voice could drown out the feelings digging at her on the inside. "I need to let him go. I need to stop dwelling. . ."
Sensei. Sakura had tried to forget the embarrassing incident back on the rooftop several nights ago. Since then her former teacher had all but vanished from her life. Which isn't to say he wasn't prone to do this from time to time but now it made her worry a little. I don't even know why I reached for his hand! I should have known it wasn't approriate. He may not be my teacher any more but there is still a fine line of respect between us.
Then why did I do it?
"It's just he looked so sad," she answered herself. Sakura saw her own pain in him, that and much much more. What did she really know of the burden the jounin carried inside? He was a secretive person afterall, never revealling much about himself even though they had worked along side one another for countless missions. He always dodged any investigation into his personal life. Which was fine, a man deserved his privacy. But just because sensei keeps things to himself doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings that weigh him down like everybody else. When he came to hospital the other night, Sakura surmised it must have been because he still had his own guilt.
About Sasuke, but maybe something else as well.
The medical kunoichi suddenly felt the urge to seek him out. Apologize for making him uncomfortable, but let Kakashi know that she was there for him. Yeah! That's what I will do! After all, the last thing Sakura wanted was for her relationship with her former mentor to be strained for something as ridiculous as a misread gesture. If Naruto wasn't already out on a lengthy mission, she would have even asked him to tag along. To act as a sort of buffer. That and he had a way of breaking tension in an environment simply by being himself.
Oh well. She would just have to make do talking to her sensei alone. How hard could it be?
Little did Sakura know what fate had instore for the both of them. Only time would tell if what happened next was for the better. Or the worse.
Kakashi fixed his good eye keenly on the memorial's glossy surface, the familiar names of his fallen comrades glaring back at him. It was here he came each day to remember them, speak silently to their departed spirits. People liked to think Kakashi must be a religious man since he came here every day, sometimes staying for hours it what looked like prayer. But in truth, he had never considered himself much of a spiritual man, the idea of heaven and hell were foggy abstract concepts; what he did know was that Obito was real. Rin, his sensei, his father. They were still very real to him. When he closed his eyes he could picture them in his mind as distinctly as the last time he had saw them. The Sharingan made sure of it.
"Come to pay respects as usual, I see," Kurenai greeted quietly as she approached. She brushed past Kakashi and gently laid down a fresh bouquet of ivory chrysthanumums. The flowers were a stark contrast in the memorial's sea of black obsidian. Kurenai remained kneeling for a moment, extending a callused hand to touch the name of the man she had loved. Asuma.
The fallen shinobi had been a friend of Kakashi as well.
Kakashi noticed a wedding ring on the kunoichi's finger and remembered that she had fallen in love a few winters ago. Kurenai had moved on. She had picked up the pieces of her life and done her best to still find beauty in the world. He was happy for her, relieved that somehow she had managed to fend off the hold Death sometimes had on the people left behind.
Kakashi wanted to ask her, how did she do it? How did she move on without letting go?
As if answering his thoughts, Kurenai said slowly as she rose, "I think Asuma would have wanted me to try and be happy. He always used to joke he would probably die first because he had been smoking a pack a day since he was twelve and that it was okay for me to move on when he was gone. So long as the next guy was not more handsome then him."
She laughed, Kakashi smiled. "I used to think he was just being morbid but now I am sort of glad he said those things. It's made these years easier."
"I am happy for you," he replied, and he actually meant it too.
Kurenai gazed back at him with a concentrated expression before finally asking, "And what about you, Kakashi-sempai? How long before these ghosts no longer haunt your steps?"
He shrugged, feigning a calm air. To her question, Kakashi could not answer because he still wondered the same thing himself. When would the day come he could break away from this morbid routine?
The black-haired woman sighed, turning her back to the memorial. She patted his shoulder as she walked away, "Please don't be a stranger. Stop by once in awhile, alright?"
Kakashi nodded and after her figure had long since receded into the distance, he slowly made his journey home. But not before addressing his fallen comrades one last time, Until next time, so long old friends.