*** Chapter 2! Enjoy!***

Hawke laughed as she poured some whiskey from the shelf into a cup. "You have got to be joking?"

"I'm afraid not." Cullen shook his head. This was his least favorite memory of her.

Hawke leaned against the wall, drinking her whiskey. "Let me get this straight, the girl who was always silent and oh so sweet, beat up another mage? And for what, taunting her friend?"

"Well, in her defense this apprentice often accused her of being more, uh, involved with Jowan." Cullen didn't feel right speaking this, but Hawke wasn't going to leave him alone without knowing everything.

"I like her already. Jumping to defend her friends when all goes wrong. So what was her punishment, Captain?"

Cullen shook his head. "I didn't punish her if that's what you're implying."

A devilish smile crossed her lips. "I bet you wanted to, correct?"

He blushed. "I, no, never did I." She held her smile. "No, Hawke, she was put 3 days in the holding cells in the basement."

She took another drink. "What then?"

"She spent 3 days there, upon release she returned to the library and continued as if nothing had happened. It was the oddest thing. Nobody spoke a word of what had happened, they pretended as if it didn't."

Hawke returned to her seat, the bottle of whisky in hand. "I think I've picked up Varric's drinking habits." Cullen stared. "No sense of humor. Eh, you're problem I guess. Are mages as imprisoned there as here?"

He shook his head slowly. "Not at all. Before the incident with Uldred, mages were pretty much under control. Except one."

Hawke leaned in. "You say that as if I should know, Captain."

"Well, you should. His last attempt of escaping wound him up being a Grey Warden."

"Anders!" She sighed contently. "And now he's neither. Puts a damper on both parties, huh?"

"Not really. He's protected by you, Hawke. Speaking of him, he always followed Amell around before bedtime."

Hawke spit out her drink. "Followed her? What to bed? That whore!" She slammed her fist on the desk. "She didn't?" She was yelling while Cullen laughed.

"Even if she did, it was before he knew you. But you'll be relieved to hear she didn't. She only had eyes for me." She let out a disgruntled breath. "What else do you want to know?"

"That, Ser, is a wonderful question. I want to know it all."

Cullen bit his lip, unsure what to say. There were so many things to tell Hawke. "She's younger than me. Her favorite color is hazel."

"Why hazel?" He peaked her interest once more.

"She said it reminds her of my eyes. When she looks at me, she feels better." He blushed again. He knew how he felt, how he always felt about Amell, but it was the oddest feeling speaking to another person about it.

"She's sweet." Hawke smiled big. "She must have liked you a lot."

Cullen looked to the ceiling and then back to Hawke. "She did…and I was fool for ever returning those feelings."

"Did she ever speak to you about what happened with that fight?" He felt relieved she changed the subject.

"Yes, it took a while though, but she did tell me. I was guarding the basement door when she walked by. She stopped and stared at me. All I could say was 'Your eyes are blue today.' She laughed at me of course." Cullen laughed at himself. How silly he must have sounded to Hawke.

"Just that day? Did they change colors often? Maybe she was sick? Or you were color blind?" They both laughed.

"I could see fine, I was just…shy then. Getting back to the matter at hand, she asked me if I was busy. I was, but I wasn't going to tell her that. She sat in the floor next to where I was standing and opened her books. She told me it was nobody would question why she was with a templar. Amell told me her and Jowan were caught sneaking out of the apprentice quarters late one night and rumors started of them having a love affair. I guess a girl who liked Jowan started the accusation from jealously. She said she was tired of being taunted so she went to who she believed did it and, well, you know."

"Kicked her ass! Showed that girl who is in charge!" Hawke swung punches at the air. Cullen was beginning to question her sobriety with every passing moment. "I would've loved to have seen that."

"You would have been in the circle if you saw." He pointed out.

She pouted. "I don't want to be there. It sounds boring, save the fighting of my dear cousin Solona Amell. Sounds weird doesn't it, cousin. Cousssssiinnn."

"I'm sure the circle isn't boring now. Amell requested her boon from Queen Anora to give mages their freedom. It was a foolish thing for her to do." He clenched his fist.

Hawke's smile fell. "You truly don't trust mages, do you?"

Cullen stood and faced the window behind his desk. He drew open the curtain allowing light to drown the shadowed room. "I was tortured, Hawke. Imprisoned for I don't even know how long. They fooled me with images, played with my mind, all my desires. Uldred tried making me give in, but I resisted, with everything I had. If she wouldn't have shown up when she did…I would have died." Hawke stayed silent; sure anything she said would be useless.

"I was in the Templar Quarters on the 3rd floor when it happened. I heard the screams of terror and pain, the maniacal laughs when another was slain. I ran, Hawke. I ran as fast as I could. I was selfish for that moment. I only thought of getting myself to freedom. I ran past everyone, ignoring pleas for help. I was afraid, shocked that any mage would do such a thing. I was so close…so close to the door when Uldred got me. He applauded me for being selfish, then locked me away."

"You were lucky he didn't kill you." Hawke's voice was hushed.

"I suppose so. Death would have been better than what I went through." Cullen shut his eyes. Remembering what happened hurt more than he could have ever thought. He hadn't ever really spoken to anyone about it and he was unsure as to why he was now. "They taunted me and tricked me with my desires. I saw her so many times. Each time she would say how she loved me and all she wants is to be with me, away from the tower and magic and Templars. I was foolish; I almost believed it was her. It was…so long before I saw what I thought to be her again. I told the demon to leave! It wouldn't."

"Why not?" Hawke was interested, she felt sorry for him, but still interested.

"It was her. I admitted all my feelings to her and her companions. I begged for her to kill every mage in the tower. Her eyes filled with tears and she reached out for me. Her words haunt me. 'No…Cullen, I will not kill an innocent mage. Not for you, not for anybody." Hawke awkwardly twiddled her fingers. She had no idea what to say at this point. It was obvious to her how pained he was. "What happened next…I wish I could change."

*** Well, chapter 2! Yes, it's kind of recapping Unwelcome home now. But I have to, Hawke doesn't know the story! Hope You Enjoyed! Please Review! ***