Print: Randomness-is-Awsomeness (Emma)
Italics: YuuYuu-chan (Katie)
A/N- Well, here is the second chapter. It came out a whole lot faster than we thought it would. This one was done by texting, just like the last half of the first chapter was. Our other undefined friend wasn't able to join in with us this time. Or, that may be because she really didn't want to… and I don't really blame her. Anyways, R&R, subscribe, favorite, or whatever you want. Just let us know how you felt about this! By the way, I should probably mention that we have no idea who the hell Kyouga is. She's just a random character. And we own nothing but the plot (can you really call it a plot, though?)
WARNING: this fic has mild language and quite a bit of sexual content, including the mention of sex change, being gay, and many other things, which we mean absolutely no offense by. And it's very OOC.
One day, Satoshi decided it was finally time to visit his brother's grave. But when he finally arrived at the cemetery, he could only find Kyouya's grave. Mori's was nowhere in sight.
"Where's Takashi's grave? Don't tell me they moved his GRAVE?" After a quick, momentary freak out, Satoshi realized the graves were in alphabetical order.
He went down the rows of graves and looked one by one. Not looking at anything besides the graves, he didn't see the other person visiting Mori's grave. He therefore ran straight into an unsuspecting person.
"What the-" To say Satoshi was surprised would be an understatement.
"What the hell was that for? Why don't you watch where you're going?" Haruhi's father scolded. He was wearing the usual dress he was required to wear for work.
"Eh! Aren't you Haruhi's papa? What are you doing here?" Satoshi asked. Haruhi's papa glared at the grave.
"We have unfinished business."
"Excuse me, but he is dead. DEAD. Do you understand the term 'rest in peace'? Damn, poor people are just so STUPID! Who else could possibly think that instant food and beverages taste GOOD? Damn fucking idiots…"
Ranka was horrified, to say the least. This 'innocent young one' swearing like a sailor? It did NOT sit well with him. Grabbing a bar of soap from his purse, he grabbed Satoshi by the collar.
"How dare you abuse uppercase letters in such a vulgar fashion?"
Shoving the bar of soap into Satoshi's mouth, he began scrubbing. Satoshi struggled.
In the middle of the epic struggle between what's right and the abuse of unimportant letters, a random Chinese person popped out of the ground with a shovel in his hand.
"It's true! You can get to America from China if you just dig deep enough!" The Chinese man looked upon everything with wonder until his gaze fell on the two JAPANESE… umm… men staring blankly at him. Satoshi groaned.
"Not another one… THIS ISN'T AMERICA, YOU IDIOT! IT'S JAPAN!" Satoshi yelled at the random Chinese dude.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO ABUSE UPPERCASE LETTERS!" Ranka yelled at Satoshi as he grabbed the shovel from the Chinese man and started chasing him all over the cemetery.
The Chinese man gaped at the crazy… man chasing the young boy around with the shovel.
"I knew Americans were crazy, but not THIS wacked!"
Right after he said that, an American girl with short blonde hair and small blue eyes popped out of another hole with a shovel in her hand. Her name was Randomness-is-Awsomeness.
"Who are you calling crazy, you asshole?"
Another girl with medium length, dark brown hair and blue eyes popped out of the hole.
"Ne, Ranom-chan, did we make it to China?"
"Well, Yuu-chan, I believe we did. But I knew we should have listened to the news! The Chinese just want to take us over and watch one of the greatest nations the world has ever seen crumble to the ground!"
"You sound like America…" YuuYuu-chan mumbled.
"Hey, this is an OHSHC fic, not a Hetalia fic! By the way, we should probably go back. We still need to work on our Death Note Fic. And we need to decide if we want it to be serious or a crack (A/N- look at Randomness-is-Awsomeness' ending note for details)," Random-chan replied.
"We should." Yuu-chan waved at the startled Chinese man.
"Bye, Yao."
"Yeah, bye."
The two American girls that randomly appeared and had weird names disappeared into their tunnels. The stunned Chinese man slipped and fell down his hole. You could hear his terrified screams and the whistling of air passing him by slowly fade as he fell deeper and deeper into the tunnel.
"Oof!" Why was it so hot? The Chinese man looked at his surroundings.
"This isn't China…" That is, if the flames were any indication to that.
The Chinese man rubbed the butt he fell flat onto as he looked around. He was surrounded by all Americans.
"I knew it! They are nuts!"
He could only find two Japanese men in the whole mix. Kyouya and Mori ran up to the Chinese man and looked up the hole he had fallen through. It was slowly closing up, so the two took one last look at each other before jumping and grabbing at the edge of the hole, slowly dragging themselves up with their dirty fingernails.
Meanwhile, Satoshi and Ranka were staring down the hole. They gasped as the hole slowly began to close. They gasped as dirty fingernails ripped through the surface.
Before the two could comprehend what was going on, Kyouya and Mori were out of the hole and happily dancing to nonexistent background music. Satoshi quickly grabbed his phone and dialed Haruhi's number.
"Haruhi, Kyouya and Mori are back!" he said.
"NO! NOW I'LL NEVER GET A CHANCE WITH TAMAKI!"
Due to the extra testosterone added to her body, Haruhi's voice had become deeper, but right then and there (s)he sounded like her old self again.
Suddenly Haruhi came running up to them faster than humanly possible, carrying her dad's huge makeup kit and started chasing Kyouya around with it. Kyouya screamed, Mori laughed, and everyone paused.
Finally, after a few awkward moments, Kyouya finally said what was running through everyone's minds.
"I'm not the one who's going to tell Honey and Kyouga of this. They do some weird things in their cell."
Everyone cringed. It was the sixth time Honey and Kyouga had gotten sent to jail for PDA. Now one of them would have to go tell Honey of Mori's return and loss of mind, or there would be certain consequences when Honey got out of jail.
Everyone began looking around the group with cautious eyes, some giving the 'I'm watching you' sign, others cracking their knuckles. Suspenseful background music played. But right in the middle of the intense stare down, Renge suddenly popped out of a self-dug hole, a shovel in her hand. She took out a microphone and began narrating everyone's thoughts and actions.
Everyone sighed, hoping she would go away soon. Luckily, right in the middle of her ridiculous narration, everyone suddenly found themselves being pelted with acorns.
"What the hell?" This was the last time Satoshi would hang out with any of his brother's friends. Ever.
"This was the last time-"
"RENGE, WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP WITH THE DAMN NARRATION?"
Satoshi seethed as Ranka glared at him, grabbing another bar of soap out of his purse.
"Are you serious? As if the acorns aren't enough! By the way, shouldn't we be trying to find out who is pelting us with acorns and why they're doing it?" Satoshi annoyingly suggested. Suddenly, a familiar voice came from the nearest tree.
"He's right, you know. You really should concentrate on that."
The acorns stopped and everyone turned towards the tree.
"HONEY?" everyone shouted at the same time. Honey and Kyouga jumped out of the tree.
"If you would have just told us about this before we were released, this wouldn't have happened!" the two said at the same time.
Mori bowed in respect. "We are very sorry, master, but we didn't want to disturb you and mistress Kyouga," Mori lied as an excuse. Honey blinked and then smiled happily.
"Oh, Okay! I get it!"
"It's just so- sniffles -beautiful!"
Everyone turned to look at Ranka, who was weeping into a snotty handkerchief.
"Even after rising out of the pits of gay hell, he still loves Mori! Especially with the way he looks, too! Gay love is just so… weird in a beautiful and disgusting way!"
Everyone in the group deadpanned. Then they all looked at Haruhi. (S)he shrugged and shook his/her head.
"My breasts may be gone, but my vagina isn't. What exactly would you call that?" Haruhi explained and asked. Out of nowhere everyone noticed that was happening a little too often) Tamaki popped up, twirling a rose in his hand.
"Why, my sweet Haruhi- Kyouya? You're ALIVE?" Tamaki glomped the Shadow King.
"Kyou-chan! You're alive!"
"Tamaki! How DARE you? Kyouya is MINE now!" Haruhi pushed Tamaki out of her way. She grabbed Kyouya's arm and stuck her tongue out at him. Tamaki grabbed Ranka's handkerchief and ran off crying. Once he was gone, Haruhi pushed Kyouya to the side and laughed like a maniac.
"Now he'll stay away from you!" Then she also ran off laughing.
Honey grabbed Kyouya and Mori's wrists. Dragging the two behind him, he yelled, "Sayonara, suckers!"
"Wait, bring Kyouya back here!" Renge yelled. Everyone sighed, and Kyouya slowly turned around and faced the crazed girl.
"What now? Please don't try to make me marry you again! I know I'm irresistible and all, but you'll just have to learn some self control!" Kyouya begged.
"Of course not, you idiot! I've received amazing inspiration! This time, you're going to be a ballerina squirrel from the planet Renge- named after me -who has a weird obsession with throwing acorns at transsexuals! It'll be an amazing movie!"
Kyouya sighed.
"That's nice."
He then grabbed a riffle hidden under his jacket and shot her in the head. Watching the blood spray amusingly (as blood does in anime) he pocketed his riffle and followed after Honey, Mori, and Kyouga.
The End
(Continued in next chapter…maybe)
ENDING NOTE FROM RANDOMNESS-IS-AWSOMENESS: I must admit, I think the first chapter is the funniest chapter so far. And by the way, we really ARE working on a new Death Note fic. But we can't decide on whether it should be serious or whether it should just be another crack. But we'll also leave that up to you. We'll put up a poll and you guys can vote which one you want! Anyways, please review! It makes my world go round!Oh, and if you would like to see what kind of conversations me and YuuYuu-chan usually have, go to the link .com/s/2826927/1/Harmless_Fun_IM_Convos. (description: Heeeeeellllllooooo! This is YuuYuu-chan and Randomness-is-Awesomeness (from Fanfiction) giving you the inside on what goes on in our minds when talking on IM. We don't know when it happened, but during our conversation something switched and became this RP-type…thing. Random and I are like kittens on crack when together and shouldn't be taken lightly. We hope you enjoy knowing what goes on in our crazy minds. This was just for fun. I'm very sorry if you are offended by anything we talked about in the IM conversation. Again, it is just harmless fun mixed with our own opinions among other things.) I was bored and decided to read it, and thought it was… pretty interesting.
ENDING NOTE FROM YUUYUU-CHAN: I agree. The last chapter was the funniest dang thing on the planet. Anyway, I'm heading off right after I write this to put a poll on our Bio. The question will be: Do you want our upcoming Death Note fic to be serious or parody? We put a preview of each in the next chapter. I totally hope you enjoyed this fic and our crappy advertising! See you next chapter!