~This one's longer. Hopefully, the feelings of angst will make more sense once you read this next update. Thanks so much for reviewing. It's always fun to see who's interested right off the bat with a new fic.

Chapter 2: Just a Kiss

Typical, he was always running late. It gave her time to reminisce, possibly figure out why or how she'd gotten in her current predicament. Bella Black lived in a small clapboard cabin not too far from the beaches of La Push. She was essentially sandwiched in between the Lahotes and the Camerons. They all looked out for her, perhaps a little too much. She often felt smothered, but it was still a comfort at the same time. It had been her home for four years, ever since Jacob convinced her "What the hell, let's get married." It didn't matter that they were too young, relatively poor, struggling college students and had no concrete idea about what they wanted to do for the future. It still made sense. He had rescued her figuratively and literally the day he stopped her from jumping off a cliff to hear Edward's voice.

She often thought back to that day. It was the wake up call she needed. "Get busy living or get busy dying." He said to her on the edge of the cliffs.

"Did you just make that up?"

"Nay, Morgan Freeman said it in a movie, but it's good, huh?"

She laughed at the silly, lovesick boy in front of her, but she was convinced she fell in love with him that moment. They never looked back. The pack found Victoria the following week and the threat of murderous vampires were a distant memory. There were still occasional nomads which were extremely dangerous, she knew all too well, but none with specific vendettas against her.

The original pack was smaller in numbers now, as no new ones joined after the first eight. It was only Seth, Quil, Jared and Paul currently. Leah was off finding herself free from the shackles of the reservation and Sam, who'd also retired the wolf to raise a family with Emily. Seth was alpha. He had big shoes to fill, but they all had lots of confidence in him.

She and Jacob had it all in terms of happiness during their courtship and early marriage. Their fathers were like brothers, they were surrounded by a close knit pack and enjoyed the most passionate, loving relationship she could have ever asked for. It was almost perfect...best friends turned lovers. Neither could ever find their niche in college so Jacob and some of the guys got a garage going after years of fixing cars in the front yard. Business was getting better and better.

Emily's sister was struggling with a bakery she'd started. When she asked Emily to rescue her, she brought reinforcements. Bella and Emily put the bakery on the map in PA and they bought out the sister who never real had a passion for the company. She and Jacob soon were celebrating their two year wedding anniversary, as well as being successful business owners. It had been about the best week of her life. One evening after an amazing night of lovemaking, he suggested she get off the pill while she was catching her breath sprawled across his perfect body.

His hands stroked through her thick hair. She swore she could still conjure his touch at times. She remembered his pleads like they were yesterday. "Come on, Bells. I'm ready."

"But we're just getting settled and I'm in the bakery more than I'm home. Is that fair to a baby?"

He had a valid argument for every situation, "It's a family place, we can put a crib in the office. The baby will be with you. Come on, pretty please. Won't I make a good dad?"

"Oh my gosh, yes...the best." She admitted she was supposed to start a new pack of pills the next morning, but she didn't. She fell asleep in his arms and dreamed of their little boy or girl the rest of the night. If only that child ever had the chance to be born.

The sunrise never came in her opinion. A howl rang out in the wee hours of the night and Jacob kissed her quick. "Gotta go check it out honey. I'll be back in a jiff. Don't you dare leave that bed. We're staying here all day tomorrow to practice our baby making. I won't stop until we get it right." She drifted off to sleep again never having any notion that was the last thing he'd ever say to her.

Her father came to deliver the news. He knew all about her husband and his pack before they were married. It seemed right to be honest if they were all family. Charlie needed a good stiff drink afterwards, but he accepted it and loved Jacob like a son.

"Bells, honey...they were ambushed. The group was powerful and treacherous...there were four of them. I'm sorry no one saw it coming, not even him." She didn't understand, the pack always made it out of their vampire encounters with barely a scratch. His final statement brought her to her knees. "Jake didn't make it."

Her father had to be wrong. Jacob would heal. He was strong, he was alpha. Her Jake was invincible, but as soon as the pack descended on her, she heard it over and over. They were so sorry.

They'd lost their brother. The entire Quiluete tribe was mourning. She had no idea how to go on. Nothing worked without him. They had a life and a future and it was all stripped away. It wasn't until after the funeral that she found out there was division in the pack. Rachel said what Paul considered to be the truth. She made a cold comment about how Embry had screwed up and now her brother was dead. Something he did or didn't do enabled the vampire to get a hold of Jacob. Bella hushed up her sister in law. Jacob wouldn't want that sort of finger pointing. It was an accident, no one's fault but the creature that murdered him. The strange looks and aloof behavior by some of the others made her realize Paul and Rachel weren't the only ones blaming Embry. She'd later find out Seth, Leah and Quil were the only ones supporting him. Embry was the worst of all. He blamed himself and was riddled with guilt. He waited almost a month before coming over to talk face to face.

He looked terrible. She could tell he'd been drinking and it had to be a lot for him to seem so affected. She made them coffee and asked him to sit with her on the couch. They talked about everything, they cried together...even managed to laugh some. They pretty much grieved the entire night. Bella woke up before the dawn with Embry passed out in her lap. He looked almost like a lost, little boy. She gently rubbed stray pieces of hair off his forehead and hoped that it was the end of his guilt. He soon stirred and sat up. She told him he could freshen up after she visited the bathroom and then she'd make them some breakfast. It was the first morning since it happened that she woke up with a little bit of an appetite. He offered to clean up the kitchen and she let him, so she could have a shower. When she came out with a towel wrapped around her wet hair and her typical casual attire, he caught her by surprise when he said she looked nice. It was definitely not a great look, but Embry had always been friendly, just quiet. They had some food but he still seemed in no hurry to leave. They sat back down and talked some more. Conversation turned back into more of his apologies. She insisted they weren't necessary. "Why are Paul and some of the guys acting this way towards you? I don't understand." This wasn't how Jake's pack ever behaved. Did they miss his direction that much, they were already imploding? She got it, of course, she felt that way every second. She was his wife, his mate...not his imprint, but he told her long ago, "Screw imprinting." They didn't need it and he was right.

Embry was tentative with his strange admission, "Because a few of them know."

"Know what?"

He got very still and silent. She touched him on the shoulder. "Please, tell me. What do they think they know?" The dissension was eating away at her and she knew Embry was miserable.

He stared at her. She could feel how despondent he was. His brothers had been alienating him, but why? He finally uttered a few words quietly, "How I feel."

"Feel? I'm so confused. About what?"

"I'm sorry Bella. It's just, I care about you."

"Oh Embry, I care about you too. We're all family, we always will be."

He looked at her in a way she recognized. Although, it wasn't a way anyone other than Jacob had looked at her. It was with longing. She saw something in Embry's eyes that told her, he desired her in some way and she was paralyzed. She'd never noticed before, how could she miss something so obvious? Maybe he'd never been so close to her when they were all alone. Her thoughts fled to Jacob. Did he know too? What would he have done? No, she was misreading...Embry was confusing, he wasn't like the others. She couldn't be so presumptuous because he knew how disguise himself so well. He could disappear in a crowded room if he wanted to.

She inadvertently hid her lips with her hand. He was staring at them and she felt the need to cover them from him. "They're right. What you're thinking of...you're right as well, but I still didn't do it on purpose. I swear I only paused because I was overwhelmed. He gave me an order, I hesitated because we'd never been in that sort of situation. I failed him, but it wasn't on purpose. You have to believe me, he was my best friend. I would never want him out of the picture no matter how much I wanted you."

Bella should stop him right there because he didn't want her. Embry was grief stricken and hung over. Their emotions were all over the place, and she needed to bring him back down to earth. She took his hands in hers. "I think you should talk to someone. Perhaps, Seth or Quil. You're hurting and saying things you don't mean. We're all confused. None of this makes sense and it's too fresh."

She caught her breath and confessed she believed him about Jacob though. Of course, he'd never let anything happen to him on purpose. She had a mind to go next door and unleash her wrath on Paul and the others for laying that guilt on him. Seconds ticked by and she realized, she was in no state to do that. She felt all her emotions rise to the surface. It wasn't possible to sit there and console Embry. She was raw from her own grief and she had nothing to give back. The small speech was her last bit of strength. Bella lost herself in her agony as the emotions consumed her. She started sobbing uncontrollably. He didn't hesitate to wrap her up in his strong, warm arms. She couldn't escape the fact that type of embrace comforted her. She missed it every second of the day. She pulled him even closer and realized if she closed her eyes, there were parts that were so similar.

Neither of them tried to talk again, it wasn't necessary. She needed only the strength and comfort that his arms brought. After holding still for unrecorded minutes, he pulled back enough to see her. Embry's thumbs whisked away every tear that fell. "Please don't cry anymore. I'm sorry I came."

"No," she mournfully expressed herself, "I'm glad you're here. I needed to see you. Sometimes the crying helps." She needed to compose herself and pull back. They were sharing the same space. She could feel his breath on her face. However, she had no will to push back. His hands were replaced by his mouth and he kissed away the remaining tears across her cheeks. He shouldn't have done that and she should have stopped him faster, because her hesitation was misleading. Eventually, his mouth settled over hers and he pressed his full lips over hers. All her senses exploded, not with desire, but with fury.

"Stop!" she screamed.

She moved far away, pulled out of his reach and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She had not asked for that and she certainly hadn't reciprocated. Jacob had only been dead a month. She was a widow in mourning. Why had he violated her in such a way?

He looked bewildered, like he'd just woken up from a dream. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to. It's just..."

"Go...I need you to leave."

He didn't move.

She was firmer. "Now, Embry. Get the hell out."

The message was received that time and he mumbled a few more apologies and excuses, before he left with a slam of the door. Bella fled to bathroom. She stripped herself and climbed back in the shower with water that was almost scalding. She wailed and cried in the hot spray, scrubbing herself raw despite the fact she was clean from less than an hour before. Her kisses were reserved only for Jacob. He was her husband, the only one that could do that to her, but he was gone. "Jacob, why did you leave me?" was all she could manage before collapsing to the bottom of the tub. She stayed there until the water ran freezing cold.

Bella looked at her flush skin. Just the memory alone caused a reaction. If she wasn't careful, conjuring up the past was going to end up ruining the makeup she'd worked so hard on. She'd come along way from the young woman ripped apart, lying naked on the bathroom rug after that first kiss. The journey she made to get to where she ended up was long and tumultuous, but in all honesty, she was almost just as fragile for different reasons. Embry had the ability to break her still but not because of an unwelcomed kiss, because she wanted his kiss so much, she could hardly think of anything else.

~Thanks for reading.