Chapter 1

To Be Or Not To Be (Escape)

She stared at herself in the mirror. She could barely recognize the person in the reflection. But it was better than focusing on Kai Parker's mutilated corpse. She figured she had maybe an hour before he came back to torment her, so she figured she should have a game plan to disengage. She didn't want this monstrosity she committed (albeit deserved on his end) to be who she was. She wanted to go back to the person she was before the supernatural world turned her from an upbeat teen, into a weapon against her friends' enemies. Before this prison world, she could have at least said she had the moral high ground. Now? Now she'd sunk down to the same dark places that she thought she could stay out of. Then again, she had never been trapped with someone so intent on not just killing her, but making it as painful as possible, solely for a twisted sort of amusement.

(Was there anything in her life that would end well?)

Still, she couldn't regret everything. Since discovering the power of her ancestry, she'd committed amazing feats of magic. Things even experienced witches and warlocks couldn't dream of doing. She at least had her pride in that.

(Until Shane corrupted everything about it. Until the man she loved died, and she was so high on Silas' dark magic, that she thought she was invincible enough to bring him back with no consequences to herself. Until the friend she gave up so much to prevent getting tainted by vampirism was turned and there was only an option she shouldn't have done, in hindsight, to reverse it. Until she had to watch her own father get killed by the same bastard who used her love for her friends to further his own goals and vengeance. Something she could have prevented if she had not put Elena first, for once.)

She tried to tiptoe around the body without looking, but she couldn't seem to get it out of her peripheral. She wasn't a vampire, so all this blood and guts just wasn't for her. This side of her was something she didn't expect. Despite everything, she was fighting the monster inside of her that Kai seemed to bring out.

(This wasn't her, she never had stooped this low. Never let herself get dragged into the gutter unless someone she cared about was on the line)

The first place she went was back to the hospital. She didn't want to test whether she was just as immortal in this world as her latest tormenter, so gauze and antibiotics it was. Then again, maybe a permanent death would give her the peace she wanted. Yet there was just a part of her left that couldn't let that happen, she couldn't allow Kai Parker to win, and have the chance to unleash his psychotic nature on the world. She still could at least justify what she was willing to do to him, by the fact that he was remorseless for the atrocities he'd committed. She couldn't live with herself if he was enabled to enact his plans of serial murder onto innocents. Didn't mean she wasn't trying to block the memory of losing control of her anger against him.

It was with a heavy heart that she had to ditch the Camaro. Somehow, both the car and it's owner wormed their way into her heart. Two years ago, if someone had told her Damon Salvatore became someone who she valued as a friend, she would have kicked their ass. How could she let someone who led to the most important person in her life's death, become someone she cared about. She supposed dying together and being the only person she could talk to had fogged up the rational part of her brain. Still, sometimes it seemed like he actually began to give a damn about her. Unfortunately, she had to let go of that attachment. It had become too obvious a getaway vehicle, so she tried to hotwire the closest car she could find. She was disappointed to find it was not even close to as easy as movies portrayed it to be. She gave it a fighting try, but decided to go to her Grams' old house and see if she could find the keys to the car.

Seeing her home, as it had been when she was young brought out nostalgia that she didn't want to deal with. She wished she could go through the house and not be flashed back to a time when she actually was happy because she knew she would never be able to have that life back. But then again, all she had left these days to keep her going were memories long past. Of days when her family was as whole as it was going to be, despite her mom being taken from her by supernatural drama. At least when she was a child she was ignorant of the specifics enough to not know that even her own flesh and blood prioritized Elena's chance at a joyous life, more than being around to watch her grow into the woman she became. One who'd learned to be on her own far too young for her own good. Then she fought the guilt over the fact that she was wishing that she had people who cared about her like they did Elena, despite how much ill-fortune befell her. Because at least when she was on the verge of falling apart over her messed up life, she had people to help her pick up the pieces. Now that everyone had gone through so much bullshit, no one was able to put her first.

She knew why. She'd never be as lovable as her friends. They had this charisma to them that drew people and their hearts. Even though Caroline would lament the fact that she would never be as adored as their friend, she was at least in the running for someone's affection and protection. The only person who showed any major interest and concern towards her, prioritized a ghost above her.

She looked around for one of her family's grimoires. While she hadn't yet replenished her magic, she wanted to be prepared as she was able to be, in case she was tracked down. Fortunately, one of them made itself known, as well as the keys to her Grams' old hoopty (she remembered her dad bought a new car for her, as he was worried about the safety of the old thing. It was one of the few times she felt like her dad actually gave a damn). It still had the hole in the floorboards, and the strong scent of sage being burnt. Funny how she used to think of her Grams' interests as embarrassing. Now that she was wizened by her experiences in the world of the occult, she was just happy to have anything that brought any sort of good intentions. Even if she wasn't naive enough to think that she wouldn't need more than just some smudged herbs to make her have even a chance in hell at escaping the evil that dwelled within the prison world. Still, anything that would remind her of better times, when she was not only happier, but a better person, was welcome. She closed her eyes for just a moment and held onto the hope that things might work out for the better.

(It was hard. She wasn't the same optimistic person she was when she had someone else's mental state to build up, in order to force her to be positive)

She remembered the days when her Grams would take her to a diner right outside of Mystic Falls. Reflecting on things was all she had now. It was something good to keep in her mind, when she was honestly close to just wanting to end it. The joy she used to have - because even if her mom was gone, and her dad might of well had been - at least she had her grandmother. When she died, she never was anyone's priority again, it seemed. After that, everything just continuously got harder, putting her on the track to dying young.

It was strange too. She always knew intrinsically that she'd be in the grave with her youth still there. She just thought she somehow could escape it. There was this sort of naive determination to beat the fates. She wished she could be as full of hope as she was before. It was a point of pride that she held onto that as long as she did. But having been let down - while thinking she was so close to being back amongst the living, to her friends who she held above all others - it broke what remaining positivity she had left. Then again, perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. She never did know when to give up, or when to put herself first. She just thought that finally she would be rewarded for her good intentions. That somehow things might have been different for once.

(How could she have known, when the only people who'd ever cared about her were either in the grave or lost in their own messes? She never seemed to be smart enough to learn to love herself the most.)

All that kept her going was the thought that Kai couldn't destroy her like that. She was tired of awful people getting one-up on her. It wasn't right that he had the opportunity to get back to the real world, when she tried her hardest to be a good person, and he didn't give a damn about anyone but himself.

The matter of where to go eluded her. All she could think of was that she needed to get away from this devil she didn't know yet. She just knew it'd have to be as far as possible. It hurt to leave behind her hometown, but she knew she couldn't stay there. Even though she knew if anyone was coming to save her, they would have just as much trouble as *he* would.

Not like anyone was coming. By now Damon was probably too wrapped up in Elena to even remember her existence. Especially since he didn't know if she was still alive at this point. Most people don't walk away from an arrow wound to the chest. (Despite her underdeveloped sense of self-preservation, she somehow had the instinct of a survivor). Plus, if she knew her hometown (at least as it had been since she was 17), Elena was probably in the center of a big scheme because of her doppelgänger status. She'd accepted the fact that her friend would always be the biggest priority to the group. She was definitely guilty of enabling that. And why wouldn't she? Elena was one of the best, most compassionate people she knew. It always was something that drew others into her orbit. Sometimes she wondered what about her seemed to make other people feel the opposite in regards to her.

The sound of the engine brought her back to before everything went to hell-in-a-handbasket. At this point, all she had left were her memories. The way she'd ride along to Whitmore to see her Grams give a lecture on the occult. When she could roll her eyes at her eccentricity and mock her crazy beliefs about witches and psychics with her friends, but still respect her deeply because she was the closest thing she had to an involved parent. Not that she didn't understand that her dad just didn't want to be around a reminder of the woman he planned on growing old with. She knew that everything about her was a stark example of everything he'd lost. From the way she looked to her mannerisms - as she'd discovered from getting to know Abby Bennett-Wilson - she was a constant memento of his lost love.

She'd still trade her magic - even though it'd become a part of her, in a way her dad never was - just to see him one more time. To tell him that she regretted not trusting him when he'd come back into her life. For not believing him, when someone finally was willing to put her and her life first.

But like with most things, she and the people she loved, got caught in the crossfire.

The sound of Salt-n-Pepa was a good way of remembering when the worst thing in the prison world was having to deal with an overload of pancakes. She was surprised that she actually was starting to miss Damon. At least he had some sort of strange concern for her well-being, even though it was likely because he couldn't stand being alone. Something that she found she actually had in common with him. And the reason why she always ended up coming back.

Go figure that he didn't return the favor, even though she was naive to think that she had that kind of fortune. Somehow, he'd become someone she cared for and valued as a friend. It was just her luck that nobody who mattered to her seemed to stay, be it unintentionally and planned.

She first noticed the car following her after she was nearly at Richmond International Airport. While she knew she would have trouble figuring out how to fly, she figured if she ended up crashing, it would be a quick end.

Now, she had to somehow lose her tail. Which meant no opportunity to travel to the other end of the globe. She could have kicked herself for expecting him to be out as long she needed him to be. She really shouldn't have dilly-dallied as much as she did. That meant she'd have to do her best to prepare for another violent confrontation.

She grabbed the hunting knife that she'd gotten out of his hands somehow, and held it tight. She knew this could be it, and she sure as hell wasn't going down without a fight.

But she also knew she didn't have the energy to do this for eternity. Which is what brought her to abruptly stop the car.

*"Kill him! Gut him!"* She heard loudly within her head. It was overwhelming *"Make him bleed!"*

.Fuck?

It was just like the last time she confronted him *(when you destroyed him)*. She had heard a demonic voice in her head. She'd had no control over her actions, but she couldn't really regret them either. It felt as if she was finally listening to something with her best interests at heart. She still couldn't help but think that anything with that much bloodlust would not be good for her. Nor something that would prefer her to get into an altercation rather than avoiding the conflict. It didn't stop her from seeing red as Kai smirked and came towards her.

"Naughty girl," he tsked, "making me chase you for so long." He lazily twirled a knife he must have found on his hunt for her, "I was surprised you had that in you. But don't expect me to hold back anymore." This he punctuated by a slow walk towards her

He grinned a Cheshire smile, with a bloody mouth to go with it. While her normal instincts were telling her to keep her distance, this monstrous part of her that he seemed to awaken wanted her to parry with him.

*"Go for the jugular!"*

She seemed to advance of something else's will. She knew she wasn't possessed. She'd experienced that with Emily, but it was like there was something within her that no longer felt anything but anger.

She threw the knife towards his throat before she even thought about it. He had quicker reflexes than she seemed to have anticipated, and not only dodged it, but was upon her before she realized it. His hands wrapped around her neck, and pushed down hard against her jugular.

And now she was unarmed.

Great.

She vaguely recalled that ducking her neck would help her get oxygen. But while she was able to get minimal amounts of air, she knew that it was only going to work so long. She clawed at his hands, and tried to gasp out threats.

It was futile. She never was much of a physical force to be reckoned with. He had the upper hand not only with size, but in ruthlessness. Even with the dark impulses she'd felt (and still was feeling), he was a master at cruelty in a way that she was both happy and regretful not to be.

Then it was like something in her knew exactly where to hit him.

"FINE...kill me," she wheezed out, "be stuck here for eternity...With only yourself to keep you sane."

For a moment he looked taken aback. Then the smile was back in place.

"You called my bluff!" He laughed, his chest shaking against my back. "I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to make you hate me so much that you'll take us back to the real world, just so you can escape me!" Then he giggled like the over-sized man-child he was. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to her, he released his grip. She fell to the floor trying to get air.

As soon as she caught her breath, she mustered up the best glare she had and retorted, "I will never let you out of this place. I'll die before that happens."

He shook his head, "Now now, that's not nice. Anyways, while I said I wouldn't kill you, that doesn't mean you won't get close!"

He stalked towards her. She tried her best to get to the knife she stupidly threw. (She never had decent aim, why she did that was beyond her). He kept going slowly, and she knew it was to taunt her, but she wasn't going to give up on backing up towards it. If she was going to go down, it would be with a fight. She was just pissed that she still hadn't gotten her magic back from when he last siphoned her. Eventually he seemed to grow bored and grabbed her by her arm. While she knew trying to struggle was futile, she couldn't help trying to escape his grip. Everything was instinct for her, at this point. Unfortunately, her attempts at escape only made it so he could turn her around and entrap her within a dark facsimile of an embrace.

She tried to fight the goosebumps as he whispered into her ear, "run."

All of a sudden, he let go, and with all the energy she had left she sprinted as fast as she could. Where, she had no idea, but she just kept going.

It didn't prevent her from hearing him cackling and then, "BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."

Well, she was going to sure as hell try.