Thank you for your nice comments and all those views, you are amazing :)
As I have been asked: of course I will continue this story! I will try to update regularly, but as this story is not yet finished and as I am slower with writing in English than in German (my maternal language), I cannot promise weekly updates (nor once in two weeks' time).
This time, we will get a closer look on Hermione's secret. I have invented a spell for this chapter, you will find its translation at the end. Hope you enjoy!
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2. Bad dreams
"Last time you have learned this spell in theory so now you should be ready to practise it on the hedgehog in front of you. You will get an extra point for an exceptionally beautiful pincushion." Professor McGonagall's voice hit Hermione's ears from far away. She had headaches and her back was stinging as always when the weather was about to change. When she lifted her wand to do the spell, she felt a terrible ache in her right shoulder blade and knew at once that her old injury had opened again. Damn it! Ignore it, just ignore the pain! she told herself firmly.
"Pulvillus verto*!" Hermione's hand trembled, the top of her wand pointed onto her quill instead of the little hedgehog that blinked at her sleepily. The quill transfigured into a small feather pillow. Damn it! "Finite!" The eagle feather quill reappeared.
Hermione's sleeve was all wet at her shoulder and her skin felt taut, her hand shaking even more violently than before. The girl suppressed a yelp of pain as Harry accidentally punched into her right side.
"Everything alright, Mione?" he asked, watching her closely.
"Sure. Just tired" she lied, avoiding his green eyes. Harry was much more difficult to convince that she was fine than Ron who still seemed to be cross because she had bought Crookshanks. As if her big ginger cat would only be after Scabbers! It was in the nature of cats to chase mice and rats so her cat was not to be blamed!
Professor McGonagall was passing by, looking how they were proceeding with their transfiguration charm. She seemed rather surprised that Hermione hadn't yet managed to transform her hedgehog who had started to chew on her textbook and sniff the pages. Again, her professor's worried look hit Hermione but she decided to ignore it once more. Besides, she was distracted by another sharp pain rushing through her shoulder.
Hermione gritted her teeth. It had been in the last week of August that the girl had hit a glass door with her shoulder. The glass had shattered and various pieces of glass had been sticking in her shoulder. Wanting to avoid the attention on this accident, she had tried to pull out all splinters, but the wound refused to heal properly and used to break open now and then, especially when she had to use her right arm too often. Unfortunately, she was right handed.
She finally managed to transform her hedgehog into a pincushion with big efforts, yet she was totally exhausted after class. But instead of going to bed (as she was afraid of sleeping and having other nightmares), she hid in the library and buried herself in her homework. When closing time approached, Hermione went back to the common room where she continued to read until she finally fell asleep.
The door squeaked open and a tall figure appeared beside Hermione's seat. Smiling maliciously, the figure grabbed the girl around the neck, lifted her high in the air and started shaking her violently. "What did I tell you?" a man's voice hissed angrily. "You ought not to show any sign of abnormality! I really will need to teach you manners, you have been a naughty girl."
"No, please, I have told nobody, I have kept my poker face!" Hermione whimpered. "Please, I am a good girl, I will do anything you want! Please ..."
"Pleading does not help you." the man hissed. "Go on, in my office and remove your t-shirt." His face was hidden in the shadows but Hermione did not need to see it to recognize him at once. What was he doing at Hogwarts? She thought that she would be save at school, that at least at this place, he would not be able to find her! Trembling severely, she obeyed.
He pushed the petrified girl into a room next door and took his belt off. "Turn around, your back to me. If you whine or scream, it will be even worse as you very well know!"
When the first strike hit her bare back, Hermione woke with a scream, shaking so hard that she nearly fell off the armchair. Horror struck, the girl gazed around but only saw her cat Crookshanks lying in front of the fire place, purring loudly. It has only been a nightmare, she told herself. Just a stupid nightmare! He is a muggle, he cannot come close to Hogwarts, he won't even be able to see the castle! You are safe at Hogwarts, he cannot touch you here! Nevertheless she was shaking so much, she had to put her arms around herself to calm down.
After a while she was able to breathe normally, but still she could see him standing over her, lifting his belt. "You are a freak" she heard his nasty voice inside her head. "I always told your parents that you are not normal, that they ought to give you away but they would not listen to me. Luckily they have to participate in so many congresses that you have to stay with me meanwhile and I am able to show you your right place! You are a scum, a worth of space. You do not deserve to live or to be loved or even touched. Yet I will help you to become a woman! Isn't this nice of me?" She heard his laughter ringing in her ears and put her hands over them, suddenly getting sick.
"No, no" Hermione groaned, wanting his voice to shut up, to disappear. Suddenly she ran up to the bathroom, locked the door and only reached the closet in time to vomit.
Afterwards she was standing in front of the mirror, staring into her brown eyes that looked so tired and shocked. Her face was so pale she resembled Nearly-headless-Nick. Her body was thin and bony and ugly.
"You are a freak" she told herself, watching her eyes filling with tears. She hated her body, hated it so much that she wanted to destroy it, to smash it, to hurt it. It was her body's fault that his attention was drawn to her, her body's fault for what he had done last summer.
Suddenly Hermione was very calm. She had made a decision, something that would relieve a bit of her pain. She had done it before, first time during this summer, and it had helped. So why not doing it again?
I ought not to do so, she thought timidly.
There are many things that you ought not to do, another voice told her firmly. You know that it will help you relieve your pain. Do it! Nobody will notice!
Hermione opened the small case, took out a razor and placed it nearly gently onto her left forearm. The first biting of the blade was a shock but then it was easier and soon she felt a heavy weight been taken away from her heart. The girl cleaned the razor carefully, put it back and wrapped a cloth handkerchief around her wrist. Finally she went to bed.
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Minerva McGonagall hid a yawn behind her hand. It had been a long night whilst discussing certain school matters with Albus and then finishing the correction of homework. She had been rather shocked to read the essay that Hermione Granger had handed in. Normally, the girl had a neat handwriting, a perfect orthography and grammar, and she wrote very long essays with important information, often followed by own theories or researching results. But this time, the essay was rather short and full of ink blots, spelling mistakes and crossed out lines. This was so very unusual that Minerva decided to talk to the girl after class the following day.
Minerva had to teach Gryffindor fifth year before lunch and was fuming after class as Fred and George Weasley had thought it funny to bewitch all tables so that they would transform into boiling tea kettles each time a classmate tried to use it for putting down notes. Even if she would never admit it in public, Minerva was rather impressed with the twins' magical talents, but nevertheless, the two boys had too many crazy ideas. Sometimes she was wondering what they would do after school and if they would ever be able to pass the O.W.L.s whatever subjects they would decide to learn.
She put the Weasley twins into detention with Argus Filch for this evening and then rushed down to the Great Hall for lunch. At the staff table she bumped into a really bad tempered Severus who complained once again about Neville Longbottom who had managed to blow up his fourth kettle in this term. The Head of Gryffindor sighed silently. Poor boy, Neville definitely was not a bad wizard, it was his lack of self-confidence that disturbed him, and him being too nervous, especially when being in the same room as Severus.
Minerva sat down and helped herself with potatoes and pumpkin pie. Her eyes were watching the Gryffindor table while she ate. Harry and Ron were talking excitedly, but Hermione only stared at her plate and from what Minerva could see, hardly ate anything. Soon the girl stood up, said something to her friends and left the Great Hall, nearly running. Minerva frowned but finished her lunch, then left for Gryffindor third year.
Once again, they were practicing with the hedgehogs as none of the pupils had yet managed to transform the little animal into a pincushion more often than once, not even Miss Granger which was highly abnormal. Minerva watched the girl closely as she waved her wand. Hermione looked worn out, very pale and her face seemed to be rather gaunt. Her right hand was shaking as she pointed it on the hedgehog and whispered the hex. Nothing happened. Was there something wrong with the girl's wand? Or did she have an injured hand?
Minerva watched the other students and started wandering around her classroom to have a look at her pupils' work. When she reached the table where Hermione was sitting, she found the girl with her head on her arms, fast asleep, the hedgehog curled into a ball in Hermione's fizzy hair. Minerva picked up the animal and shook Hermione's shoulders. "Miss Granger!"
The girl woke with a start and seemed to suppress a scream. Her gaze met Minerva's and the teacher's heart sank as she saw pure panic in the girl's eyes.
"I am sorry, professor" Hermione whispered and hung her head.
Minerva gave her a sharp look but did not answer. She returned to her desk and finished class, giving her pupils another essay to write. Hermione was about to leave with her classmates when Minerva called her back: "Miss Granger, a word please!"
She could hear the girl sighing as Hermione packed her things in her bag and waited for Minerva to speak to her. Minerva, however, thought the classroom not to be the adequate place for the subject she wanted to talk about.
"Follow me to my office, please." And there: "Sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?"
Watching her suspiciously, Hermione nodded.
With a flick of her wand, Minerva made two cups of tea appear out of thin air (well, actually she ordered them in the kitchen) and placed one in front of the girl who avoided her gaze.
"Well, Miss Granger" Minerva said while sitting down, peering at Hermione over her rectangular glasses. "I wanted to ask you what had happened that you have changed that much. Do not deny this! I have watched you during the last weeks and I have spoken to your other teachers. They are worried, too. You no longer participate in classes, you hardly ever talk and your homework is really sloppy" she continued, showing Hermione her last essay.
The girl was staring at the desk between her. Minerva could see her cheeks blushing. There was a long silence. "It is nothing, professor" Hermione finally replied. "I am just tired. And I didn't know that I was supposed to mime the perfect student and super know-it-all all the time!" she added a bit rebellious.
"Watch your tone, young lady" Minerva said sternly. "Of course you must not be the perfect student but nevertheless you have changed and I am really concerned about your behavior and your state of health! Maybe the time turner puts you under too much additional stress? Never has a student chosen to take all subjects! I would therefor suggest you to return it to me."
"NO!" Hermione screamed, leaping to her feet. "I am fine. I will catch up with all classes and be the perfect student as you know me. I promise!" She ran to the door and was about to open it, when Minerva caught up with her, grabbed her left wrist and whirled her around. The girl let out a yelp of pain and Minerva felt the sleeve becoming wet. When she pulled back her hand, it was red.
"Miss Granger, are you injured? Why haven't you seen Madam Pomfrey?"
"It is nothing, professor" Hermione said, trying to hide her wrist, but Minerva forced the girl back to the seat.
"Your hand is bleeding too much to be 'nothing'. Show it to me!"
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*Pulvillus (latin) = small cushion; verto (from latin "vertere") = to transform
~ tbc ~
I am very curious to know what you think about this! Thank you for your comments and for reading and have a nice day!