Mornings after with Desmond were things John Constantine looked forward to; waking up to see the other man grinning, having watched him sleep, it inspired a kind of peaceful bliss he hadn't felt since... well, ever.
It almost made him feel like after Astra, he was being allowed to move on. Like someone somewhere had decided his punishment was over.
He was happy, for the first time in his life, and he wouldn't let anything take that happiness.
One morning, the two found themselves entwined in a passionate make-out session on the kitchen table (when they were in the mood, they were just like a duo of horny teenagers), and John, being as macabre and downbeat as he was, couldn't help but think about how everything in his life would end up in ruin.
He thought of Chas, and how his entire life had been ruined by him, he thought of Gary, of Zed, of everyone he had cursed.
Saddened, John pulled away, "Wait."
Slightly taken off guard, Des asked, "You okay?"
"Y-Yeah." John lied, "I'm just... I just... Bloody hell..." he stroked Des' cheek, "I just bloody adore you, alright?"
Des gave a soft laugh, and John felt his heart leap, "I adore you too." his eyes searched John's face, "What's this over?"
"It's nothin'." John shrugged, "I just... I usually pride myself on walking this path alone, but now? I don't know if can imagine life without you in it." he gave an uneasy laugh, "It's a bit bloody terrifying if you ask me."
Des' hand saught his, "I get scared too."
"You're good at hidin' it." John replied, "I used to be, but somethin' about you... it makes me vulnerable."
Des squeezed his hand, "Being vulnerable isn't always a bad thing, Johnny."
"It usually is for me." John admitted, "Everyone in my life leaves, especially when I get vulnerable. And I bloody hate it."
His boyfriend cupped his cheek, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."