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Chapter 2 – Surrounded by Handbags and Homosexuals.

Monday 20th September

8.30 am

I am sooo late. Again.

I won't have any time to do my natural make-up now.

5 minute later

Thank Big G my nose has gone down since the Scuba Diving Barbie incident. Luckily my bed was a Libby free zone last night. Although I did find something that felt like one of Libby's dirty nappies but no one wants to know about that.

8.40 am

Five minutes to get to school. Rush rush, pant pant. Up the hill.

Jas is still sitting on her wall looking huffy as ever. Fringe flicking and all that Jazz. She saw me and didn't even bother to talk to me. She just looked at me and then she was rushing around as if she has a twig up her bum-oley. I had to run to keep up with her and I don't think boys like the red faced loon in a girl.

8.50 am

Hawkeye is at the gates. Merde.

"Nicolson. Must you be late everyday?"

Excuse me? Hasn't she seen Jas walking right beside me? At exactly the same time? Being late with me? I suppose she is such a teachers botty licker she can do no wrong. I felt like saying "I fancied a half day, but if it wasn't for my bed catching on fire, I wouldn't be here right now."But I had to be careful what I said because I didn't want to be in detention city. I just smiled and let my nose flare all over my face, but she lost attention and went to chase some first formers. So I took that as an opportunity to escape.

Assembly

Slim seems to be more jelloid then usual. This could mean two things a) Something good is happening to us or b) she has eaten one to many cakes. My money is on the second one but you never know.

"And on that note, girls in form 11A I have a little announcement. Since the last few trips we have had have been a great success, we have decided we are going to run another school trip..."

Success? What in the name of the queens over-sized pantaloons is she talking about? As if France wasn't bad enough, they dragged us to the camping fiasco, where our innocent minds had to witness Miss Wilson in the nuddy pants. Not good for impressionable minds like mine.

"...to Italy!"

I am sooo not going on this trip. Nothing can change my mind.

"We have also spoken to the headmaster of Foxwoods, and he has agreed to allow the boys to come along on the trip with us. They will be coming to the school on Wednesday for a meeting."

Screw what I just said. I am sooo going on this trip.

Break

All of the Ace Gang was rambling on about the trip the whole of break. I haven't even been able to tell them about the me and Masimo fandango. Then, just on cue, Wet Lindsay came along the hallway, no forehead and all. Me and Rosie took cover under the desks while the rest of them hid in the store cupboard. Lord only knows how four of them fit in there, and Jas' giant pantaloonies.

She said "She dumped him. Now there is nothing stopping me."

"So are you going back out with him then?" She's with Astonishingly Dim Monica. And they are talking about me!

"Well no not yet. But it won't be long now." And she stick insected off. I hate her.

As soon as she left, Jas, Ellen, Mabs and Jools all burst out of the cupboard and landed on a big pile on the floor.

Jools said "Jas! Gerrof me you lezzie! I know i'm gorgey but I don't swing that way."

Jas immediately got in a huff. Ho hum pigs bum. Oh how we laughed. Soon after, I got the expected, 'Why did you dump him? When? Where?' and blah blah. I told them about me telling him (well not exactly telling him, but it's like someone one said, a simple head action speaks for itself. Is that right? Who knows, who cares?) that I don't forgive him. They soon lost interest as Ellen started dithering... Good grief.

German

Learning about the Kocks, yet again. And also another adventure out in the forest or something equally as boring. Jas is still ignoring us, she is such a botty kisser. She has sat up front and every time Herr Keymer asks a question her hand shoots straight up. I may have to set her straight with a severe duffing up. Or her arse making contact with a bush. So the rest of us are using this time wisely and talking about something tres tres important.

"I wonder if the boys will be allowed to share rooms with us." Jools said. Yeah right. Adults think we are so sex obsessed. They think we are at it everyday (Oo-er)

Home time

End of the torcher session.

We walked out of the school linked up doing that thing when we all take one big step to the left all at the same time and then one big step to the right at the same time if you know what I mean and I think you do.

5 minutes later

Waiting for the boys. I was a little nervy about seeing Dave after the whole fisticuffs at dawn fiasco. But Jas insisted we wait. And so did Ellen, Mabs and Jools. Me and Rosie were out numbered.

2 minutes later

Why do they take so long to come out of school? I suppose they have to go through the usual routine of pushing each other in bushes and tripping each other up. For some unknown reason, they get enjoyment out of it. I have said it once and no doubt I will probably say it again, boys truly are a mystery. At that moment, Sven jumped out of a tree and landed in a heap on the floor, got up and flung Rosie over his shoulder.

"Ladies. Groooove on!" He shouted before skipping along with Rosie. Seriously, skipping. Proves my point perfectly.

5 minutes later

Finally the boys came down the road. Jas, Ellen, Jools and Mabs all walked over to them and snogged their boyfriends. They have no pridenosity.

Walking home

Me and Dave are walking ahead. The others are lagging behind doing three guesses what. Dave was talking about the trip to Italy. He wasn't seeming very laughy like a laugh is supposed to.

"They are forcing us against our wills to go. I can't spend a whole week being surrounded by Handbags enticing me into the way of the Homosexual."

I gave him my most confused look. He's acting like he doesn't even know we are going with them. Ho hum pigs bum. I'll let him figure out for himself. He will find out soon enough though because Radio Jas will soon be on the case. She has probably told half of Billy Shakespeare land by now.

"So speaking of homosexuals, how are you and your handbag horse?" He said looking at me. He was waiting for me to give him my 'Don't push it' look, which I think is full of maturosity, but I had no reason to give it to him anymore. Me and Masimo aredone. finito

"We broke up."

Dave stopped and did a really bad mime of him fainting. I walked over to him and look down at him.

"Wow Gee. Watch your nunga's don't cause you to topple over. I don't want two black eyes. That could ruin my biscuitnosity." He grinned at me. I left him there to get himself up. He wants to talk about my nunga's that way, he will have to suffer. Or any way for that matter, and that is le fact.

2 minutes later

The snoggers have caught up with Dave and all the boys bundled him.

Rollo ran towards him and shouted "Pile!" and as if they were robots they all followed and piled. I felt like saying to Dave (Once he was up of course you fools, that would look a little odd, me talking to a pile of boys. Although I have done some pretty stupid things. There was the Olive, then the – shutupshutupshutup.) Anyway, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes. I felt like saying to Dave 'I bet you wish it was my nunga's now' But I didn't.

1 minute later

Oh now he's talking to Jas. Wait for it. 3.....2.....1.....

"KITTYKAT!!" He's charging towards me. Jas has told him. I knew it wouldn't be long.

I said "Yes?" as if I didn't know what he was talking about. Or rather shouting about.

"Why didn't you tell me? You are very a naughty Kittykat. You had me thinking I was going to leave you for a week to go and hang with the Italians."

He said Italians really oddly, like he was allergic to them. I guess he has changed his mind about going then? I asked him that too.

"I guess you have changed your mind about going then?"

He grinned at me.

Home

It's official. Dave has lost the plot. He is rambling on and on about the trip. It's amazing. Before he found out we were going, he would have broke both his legs to not go on that trip. He's almost getting as bad as Jas rambling wise.

6.15pm

Phone rang.

I shouted "Phone!"

I heard Vati shout back "You get it Gee. It will be one of your friends to talk about nail polish or whatever it is you talk about, resulting in a massive phone bill that I have to work very hard to pay."

If he worked as hard as he says he does, he wouldn't be out everyday playing footie with the 'lads'. Which by the by is supposed to keep him fit.

It doesn't.

"Nicolson residents. I am afraid I will have to limit the phone call, as I would hate to waste 10p of my dad's, claimed to be, well earned money."

"Georgia, must you always answer in such a childish way?"

Oh great. Fringy. I will have to let her down gently but I really don't want to know about her latest find of rabbit droppings.

"Jas, could we hurry this up? As I said, well earned money."

"The Ace Gang are going for a moochy round town tomorrow to pick up some things we might need for the trip. Make up and travel knickers and such. Are you coming?"

Moochy? Who says moochy? And since when did travel knickers exist?

"Jas. Saying 'moochy' is incredibly sad and naff."

"Georgia! Stop being so stupid. Are you going to come or not?"

"Only if you tell me you love me. Being called stupid really offended me."

Haha. She has to tell me she loves me. She will say it, I will make her.

"Georgia yo-"

"Say it or I will not accompany you."

"Gee?"

Silence.

"Georgia!"

Silence.

"Fine. I love you."

"Thanks Lezzie. See you tomorrow." And I put the phone down. Haha.

8.30pm

I am surrounded by les idiots. My Vati thorght it would be a good idea to attempt to bathe Libby again since she is getting a bit on the pingy pongoes side of things. I made a strict vow to myself never to enter the hallway while my Vati was in the bathroom again. Not after last time I witnessed him standing in the nuddy pants. That was just horrific. Anyway, my Vati, knowing what Gordy is like, left the door shut, but not entirely closed. So Gordy, hurled himself at the door, hit Vati in the back and sent him flying head first into the bath.

1 minute later

He walked past my room. I opened the door and split my tights laughing at him. He is soaked head to toe in water.

"Don't say a word," and stormed off into his bedroom. I was laughing like a loon on loon tablets.

10.30pm

Libby is in my bed yet again. I think she is making up for last night but forcing Angus and Gordy into my bed as well. They jump onto the bed and then burrow themselves down to the end. Every time I move my feet, they savage them. They ache like billio.

2 minutes later

I can't believe we are going on a trip with the boys. I can't believe they are letting us go on a trip with the boys. It's going to be sooo much fun with Dave and Tom and Rollo...

2 seconds later

And Mark Big Gob and Phil the Nerd and Spotty Norman...Erlack.

5 minutes later

I wonder what Lindsay meant by "But it won't be long now." What's she going to do? Entrance him with her stick insect charms? He can't go crawling back to her.

1 minute later

He is clearly only going back to her because he has lost his one and only Sex Kitty. Ha.

2 minutes later

I cannot think about Masimo. I will not think about Masimo. I will think about something more important. I will think about the trip to Italy instead.

2 seconds later

Merde.

Hellooo again! Hoped you like the chappie. I Have quite a lot of revising for a maths exam to do. I am quite determined to do well in it as well because maths is the only thing I am some what good at so I will try and write some of this in my spare time and then will post it when I have got it all guys. Please review.