Sidonis

Garrus Vakarian, with his penchant for grit and steadfast loyalty, was probably Shepard's closest friend. He always had her back when the chips were down and he hardly judged her when the darker side of her nature reared up in the face of the savagery that sometimes came with the job. It was this special brand of loyalty that helped the commander to endure the tough decisions which inevitably resulted in casualties.

But something vital had changed in Garrus since she had pulled "Archangel" out of that Omega hell hole with half of his face blown off. His life's quest for justice had...shifted.

Though she'd sensed the change in him from the first time they'd spoken on the Normandy again, she'd more or less written it off as the disorientation of returning to a ghost ship with a resurrected CO. But now, sitting next to him in the shuttle on their way to confront Sidonis, the stupid bastard who had been the catalyst for Archangel's demise...there was no further explanation or excuse she could offer herself. This change went a lot deeper than that. Justice wasn't enough any more; Garrus was hell-bent on brutal vengeance.

It wasn't that she particularly cared about the life of Sidonis. In their line of work, killing was a necessity. Many of the mercs and soldiers she'd gunned down had families, loved ones, reasons for standing between her and her objective; but that never stopped her. There were bigger issues at stake, much bigger. However she never killed mercilessly or indiscriminately either. Whenever possible, she gave opponents the opportunity to surrender peacefully. Garrus had shown the same proclivity in battle before. Not anymore.

They'd just fought their way through a warehouse full of mercs and mechs to retrieve information on Sidonis's whereabouts from a mid-level, ex-C-Sec criminal named Harkin. In the "old days" it might have been fun; Garrus would have been slinging competitive and sarcastic taunts her way, cutting through the tension on the field with his wit, making her snort-chuckle in spite of herself. Instead, once they had reached Harkin, she saw a cruelty in Garrus she had never witnessed before. His ruthlessness was raw and hungry. He craved the suffering of that piddly little man who had helped Sidonis escape into anonymity. He would have needlessly shot Harkin point blank in the kneecap if she hadn't swatted his Razer away. Garrus had obviously lost himself, and she had ignored the signs for too long.

Of course she should have seen it. Garrus had lost his entire team on Omega in one foul swoop. She could certainly empathize. Some losses you never recover from, no matter how they came about. And the burning question -What could I have done?- leaves scorch marks on your soul. But Garrus didn't have an intergalactic super villain like Saren to tear down and keep him focused. He barely seemed to register the Collector threat at all. It was as though that grim recess of grief and failure had enveloped him entirely and Shepard didn't like to think about what that meant for her closest friend and confidante. Here, in the relative privacy of a speeding skycar, was her chance to do something about it.

"I'm gettin' a little worried about you Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin. It's just not like you."

Garrus shifted slightly away from her, keeping his eyes on the shuttle route. "What do you want from me Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?"

"I'm not sure, but I wouldn't let it change me."

"I would have said the same thing before it happened to me."

"It's not too late. You don't have to go through with this." She stared at him, silently pleading with her eyes, but he refused to look at her.

"Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" He growled subharmonically, unable to prevent it even from reaching her limited human hearing, "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares. I don't see any other options."

"I care." She paused a beat, "Just let me talk to him."

Garrus tilted his head back in weary exasperation. He might have rolled his eyes, if it had been a gesture turians were accustomed to. "Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us. He deserves to die."

Shepard bit down on her defeat, she was losing this battle. "I understand what you're going through but do you really want to execute him?"

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm not you."

Never one to surrender, Shepard would have the last word, "This isn't you either."

Here it was again. Another moment of truth.

Garrus, perched on the catwalk only a few hundred meters away, had his sights trained on Sidonis and the only thing preventing him from squeezing the trigger was that she had positioned herself in his line of sight. She felt his gaze through the scope as an ant feels a beam of light through a magnifying glass. She'd deliberately blocked his shot to give Sidonis a chance to explain his reasons -cowardly, but honest. By now, Garrus couldn't deny that Sidonis was having a difficult time living with the guilt of his betrayal. Hell Sidonis had, in his way, given permission to end his suffering.

The thought of cold, calculated execution turned her stomach, but then again...what would she have done if this piece of shit had gotten Garrus or Joker killed? If she were brutally honest with herself, she had to acknowledge that watching Saren blow his own brains out had been deeply satisfying in the grim recesses of her soul. Maybe that wasn't the point, though. What she really needed to know was what would become of Garrus if she let him take the shot? If she blocked him? Should she move aside or try talk him out of it?

Then Shepard had a split-second epiphany: It doesn't matter.

Garrus had always stood by her, even when he disagreed with her methods. How could she not offer him the same trust? She hoped that whatever he decided, it would help him find peace, but even if it didn't, she'd stand by him. She wouldn't force it either way.

"I can't help you, Sidonis." She stepped aside.

As she walked away, her chest tightened when she heard the precision blast of a sniper shot, but she didn't look back.

hr

Garrus had to admit to himself, gunning down Sidonis wasn't as satisfying as he'd expected, but he'd be damned if he'd regret it either. He braced himself for an argument as he approached Shepard, "I know you want to talk about this, but I don't. Not yet." He stood poised to turn his back on her if she pressed him.

Instead, she took his talon and squeezed it with her smallish, human hand. With large glistening eyes, Shepard held his talon and his gaze for a long pause -considering that they should be fleeing the scene. Then she simply turned towards the skycar. "Alright, let's go."

This strangely comforting human gesture, was much more jarring than the lecture he'd braced himself for. He'd gotten used to the human custom of "shaking hands" in greeting or in agreement, but this, -the way she had looked at him- this was different. This made him feel...

He shook it off, "Thanks Shepard. Let's get moving. I need to get away from this place."