2.
(happiness is just outside your window—your barred, impregnable window)
"Your name is Merlin?"
"Yes."
"That's a weird name."
"Yes."
"What does it mean?"
"I don't know."
"You're lying."
Merlin looked at her. "How did you know?"
"I didn't." She grinned.
Merlin blinked.
So familiar, he thought for the umpteenth time that day. Like in a dream, he had introduced himself to her, unable to stop himself. Even now, he could not snap out of it. And he didn't know if he wanted to. His mind was a mess of emotions, whirling his thoughts up, down, left, right. He was surprised he could still form coherent thoughts enough to speak.
("are you real?")
"So?" The girl—Morgana (no no) (yes), she said her name was—raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
She shot him a look. "What does it mean?"
"What?"
"Your name," she repeated. "What does it mean?"
(what does it mean? what does this mean? what do you mean?)
"I don't know." Merlin knew. He knew he knew. But for the life of him he couldn't remember.
She frowned (turn it upside down). "It's okay if it's embarrassing, you know."
"What?" Merlin decided that was his favorite word of the day.
"Your name," she repeated again, somewhat impatiently. "It's okay if the meaning is embarrassing, Merlin. I just want to know." She smiled assuredly (are you real?).
(you deserve this, you know you do)
His name on her lips was like a shot to the chest. Merlin's breath hitched. He had not heard his name uttered in that voice in a long time. It seized his heart in a death grip, reminding him of so much, and torturing him with hope he had violently pushed away centuries ago.
(but where had it really gone?)
He shook his head, unable to speak around the boulder in his throat. Tears, long been unused, thought to be dried up, sprang easily in his eyes, blurring his vision of her. Her that was so familiar—so goddamn familiar. The dirt on her gaunt face, the rags on her thin frame could not hide the fact that it was her.
Oh god oh god oh god oh god—
(are you real?)
It can't be her. It can't be her. It can't be her. It can't.
(because everyone is dead and gone)
"Hey. . ."
(no no no no)
". . . are you alright?"
(hope for a cure to your madness)
"Do you need help?" She reached for him.
It was like in slow motion. Her hand reached towards him, like the blade of the guillotine that would seal his fate, or perhaps like the sweet song of a siren before she smiled her cruel smile and drowned her victims. But his feet caught on a rusty pipe, and he was falling (down, down, down).
A hand gripped his wrist, stopping him from the inevitable pain his fall would give him ("do you need help?" asked the lady as she cuffed your wrists to seal your fate).
It was like a jolt of electricity. Starting from his wrist, and traveling the speed of light towards his heart (ancient and lifeless). The shock of it left his insides feeling hot with a fire that happily burned through the constant coldness that was his companion for millennia.
"Whoa." She grinned at him, her eyes sparkling. "You're a clumsy one!"
(are you real?)
Merlin scrambled, not really trying to wrench her grip off his wrists. Her skin was glorious on his, and despite the voice in his head screaming at him with foreboding, he could not, for the life of him, let her let go. The contact was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat from the violent darkness swirling in his head. And suddenly, Merlin knew he couldn't let her go. Not this time.
Using his free hand, he reached towards her hair gently, almost delicately. It was dry and rough, baked under the sun's unrelenting heat, but to Merlin it felt as if it was made from the most delicate silk.
"Hey!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing?"
Merlin opened his mouth to answer, but dizziness, hard and overwhelming, suddenly hit him. And then there was darkness.
(are you real?)
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I had originally intended to make this story as a one-chapter thing, but I recently went back and rekindled (*cough* relapsed on *cough*) my love for Merlin (and fanfiction, in general) after years of not accessing this site (for some reason, fanfiction . net was always down in Japan until now, and I guess I forgot, with real life getting in the way and all that), and I re-read this and found that I still find Merlin's story as fascinating as I did before. You guys know that feeling of not hearing a song you used to love all the time before, and suddenly you're hearing it again, and it's like you're falling in love like the first time, and you feel so giddy and high all the time? Yep. I felt like I should leave something, like a thank-you, or a mark, to remind myself that despite all the changes I'm going through, the problems that feel like they're never going to be solved, I'm still essentially the same girl who fell in love with Merlin's story, and became part of such a wonderful community like this. Of course, my writing has degraded a little (years out of practice), so I also used this as a challenge to myself. Let me know what you think! ^^
As always, thank you for reading! =)