Hello and welcome back to TAoMQ, let's get this show on the road. I had to go two weeks with limited electronics usage after visiting a psychiatrist, and now I gotta take some meds every night. But at least I cooked up some D&D stuff! It was fun!

Disclaimer: Bethesda owns the Elder Scrolls series, hopefully they don't mess up with 6 or Blades.

Chapter I: Some May Call This Junk

So, let me recap what happened.

We managed to escape Helgen, which was being attacked by a mother-flipping DRAGON.

Cue Hadvar talking about a nearby town by the name of Riverwood, where he has some relatives who might have more free stuff for my adventure.

Yes, I am a kleptomaniac, why do you ask?

Anyway, after a trip to a circle of rocks (I chose the Mage, it's my mother's birthsign), we made our way to Riverwood, wherein Hadvar began to tell his uncle Alvor about the dragon. However, I had other plans.

"Excuse me sir, do you have a smelter I could use?" I asked, to which Alvor nodded and replied, "It's out there at the back of the forge if you need to use it. I had it built along with a spare tanning rack just a week ago."

"Thank you, I'll be taking my leave." I said as I shoved all their utensils and pots and pans into my pocket Oblivion realm to sell later. Hey, they said I could take it all. Really, I'm not kidding.

Then I went outside and pulled out the weapons and armor I looted from my enemies' corpses. I tossed them all into the smelter and managed to get at least fifty iron ingots and ten steel ingots. After doing that, I went to the tanning rack and carefully recycled the leather bits to obtain at least twenty-five scraps of leather.

I decided that was enough and went to town, entering a general store named the Riverwood Trader. After selling all of the stuff I got from Alvor's place, I promised the merchant (who was a fellow citizen of Cyrodiil) to find his family heirloom and left with a sizable bag of gold from my bartering. I bought some lockpicks from the guy too, because apparently literally every general store in Tamriel sells them, or so I've heard from my mother.

After that, I went to the inn to buy some food such as meat, stew, and cheese! Ah, cheese. It was always mother's favorite food. In fact, she crafted a spell which threw flaming cheese. She called it the Cheese Throw spell, and had a stronger rapid-fire variant named Cheese Torrent.

The bard in the inn also told me to deliver a letter to the merchant's sister Camilla, and tell her it was from a guy named Faendal. I decided to take a look at the letter myself, and...

I was appalled at what this guy was planning! He forged a shitty letter and planned for Camilla Valerius to reject Faendal so he could presumably have her instead! I made up my mind to tell Faendal about this.

Wait, who is Faendal?

"Excuse me, bard boy, who's Faendal?" I asked. The blonde bard scowled, and apparently was oblivious to the fact that I read his forged letter right in front of him. "He's that Wood Elf hunter who thinks he can woo Camilla Valerius. He's got brown skin and an ugly face too. He'll probably stand out as the only one of his kind out here in Riverwood." He spat venomously.

"Oh okay. Good day to you, then." I muttered sarcastically and zipped around town to find the Bosmer.

Turns out, he was skinning some salmon. "Hail, Bosmer." I greeted, "Are you Faendal?"

"Why yes, my fellow elf. Wait, what kind of elf are you, anyway?" He questioned, "You sure don't look like an Altmer or Dunmer to me."

"I'm a Snow Elf, the last of my kind."

"Ah, I see. What do you need, good sir?"

"Well, there's this bard in the inn who told me to deliver this letter he forged to Camilla Valerius and tell her it was from you. I think you should take a look." I handed him the letter and his face hardened as he read it. "Damn that Sven! Well, two can play at that game." Faendal pulled out some paper and wrote on it. "Why don't you deliver this letter and tell her it was from him?"

"I like the way you think." I commented, "Welp, time to deliver the letter!" And so I delivered Faendal's forged letter to the merchant's sister and told her it was from Sven. Her reaction to its contents was pure rage. "Tell him he can find someone else to be his nursemaid, that milk-drinker." She huffed, seething with anger. (Personally, I take offense to the Nord term of "milk-drinker". Milk tastes good and does wonders for one's body! When I used to live with my mother, I would drink milk every day!)

Anyway, after I got that fiasco sorted out, I went back to Faendal and shook his hand. "Mission accomplished, friend." I told him.

"Thanks, uh..."

"Martin Quartus."

"...Martin. So, what are you planning to do now?"

"I'm off to Whiterun, I guess." I replied, "I gotta do something urgent."

"Want me to come along?" He offered, "You might need a hand or two, and I'm skilled at archery."

"Sure! It'll be nice to have you around, friend." I said and shook his hand once more. "Hold on, I think I've enough materials to craft you some armor. Want a suit of leather armor?"

"Sure thing!" He replied cheerily, and I took some leather from my hoard to craft a full suit of leather armor for him.

"Well, I guess we're off to Whiterun now!" I announced as I handed him the armor. "Let's go! Oh, and be sure to shoot any deer on sight, okay? I could go for some venison right now."

"You got it. And yeah, some venison does sound delicious."

There we go, Chapter 1 is now complete! Whew, I really gotta write these longer. What do you guys think? Should I?

Yeah, probably.

This is Vanillite the Dragonslayer, signing off.