Monologue. Enjoy!
Emma What have I done in the last week since I saw you? Well, what can I say? It's been very hectic. Rachel had the most beautiful baby girl yesterday – and guess what? She has named her Emma – after me! I am so excited.
(Pause…listens to psychiatrist)
Of course I haven't seen the baby…yet! I've been working. I will get to the hospital soon. Actually I am a little embarrassed to tell you, but I did try to see Rachel yesterday but I went to the wrong hospital. They of course had no record of a Rachel or Emma Green in the maternity section. Honestly I don't know what is happening to the public health system. Several nurses and a doctor were down right rude to me and kept calling me crazy.
(Vaguely)
I just wish I could remember which hospital they are in.
(Cheerily)
Not to worry. I've bought a gift already. I'll show it to you; I've got it in my bag. It's so adorable.
(Shows baby cloths while listening to psychiatrist)
What else have I been doing? Well, organising Rachel's baby shower has kept me very busy.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
But I do get out and about. I'm out now aren't I?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Out into the real world?
(Pause)
There you go again with that crazy talk – I'm always out in the real world – I must admit I probably do spend too much time at Monica's apartment – but why shouldn't I, when I have such great friends?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
What do you mean that I'm 26 and need to start living my life?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
No, you're right – I don't have a boyfriend, there was a cute guy at Central Perk yesterday…maybe…and Joey and I are still very close…
(Listens to psychiatrist)
You're worried about my health?
(Pause)
No, I'm fine, just fine. Why wouldn't I be?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Yes, high school was a hard time for me. My dad died when I was in yr 7 from cancer and I didn't have many friends. I was badly bullied. I could never understand what I did wrong, but I was always the target.
(Pause)
How did I cope? Well, I had my books but they were never quite enough. That's when I met Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Joey and Chandler. Suddenly I had friends. It was all new to me but I loved every minute of it. We have such a great time together – we're always laughing.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
I couldn't be any closer to Rachel, Phoebe and Monica – we are best friends – and of course Joey, Chandler and Ross have been like the big brothers I never had. We have been through so much together in the last eight years…
(Reminiscing)
Eight years! I can't believe it has been that long. It seems like only yesterday that Rachel stormed into Central Perk in that wet wedding dress and I met them all quite by accident. We have shared so much together – I really do get quite teary when I think about how much they all mean to me and about how much I love them.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
What do you mean these aren't the friends you're talking about? What do you my real friends?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
No, quite frankly I don't understand. They are my real friends; my best friends. I've been to all of Ross's weddings. I've seen all of Joey's plays and of course I'll go to his new film; I'm so proud of him. I've put up with Chandler's constant jokes and Monica's obsession with cleanliness. I supported Phoebe through her pregnancy and comforted her when she had to give the triplets up. I was there to support Rachel when she found out that Ross didn't get their marriage annulled. I was even part of the bridal party at Monica and Chandler's wedding.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
I don't understand your question?
(Listens to psychiatrist)
I'm not living my life through a television show. What a ridiculous thing to say. You explain to me how that is even remotely possible.
(Angrily)
How dare you tell me that I am confusing reality with TV.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Delusional! I'm delusional? You're the one who is delusional!
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Calm down! You're telling me to calm down! I won't calm down until you stop talking to me like I'm crazy.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
No, I haven't taken my medication. I told you I don't need it.
(Plays phone tone – Friends theme song and begins to calm down)
That always makes me feel good. Phoebe wants to clean my aura to help me be calmer – apparently I'm murky or something – because sometimes I do get a little stressed. But I think I'll stick with our song – it really helps me to relax. Although I do love Phoebe's Smelly Cat song…
(Begins to stare into distance reminiscing, until psychiatrist interrupts)
What will happen to me when the series ends? What do you mean by that? My friends aren't going to disappear, they aren't going away. They've been my best friends for eight years now; an era of friendship doesn't just end.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Are you crazy? Haven't you listened to a word I've said? I couldn't cope without my friends. These past eight years have been the best years of my life.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Times up? Already?
(Looks stunned)
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Yes, I know I need to see you again soon. I know you think we need more sessions. I just don't see why. Like I said; I'm fine.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
Ok, just make a new appointment for next week Dr Freud.
(Listens to psychiatrist)
I'm already down for Monday 4 0'clock? Could you possibly make it Tuesday? I was planning to visit Rachel and little Emma to give her my gift.