After finishing her morning routine and rushing Ruby off to school, Alex immediately heads to the DEO to start on Sam's rehabilitation. She walks through the doors and goes right to preparing everything for Sam's testing and move today.
She makes sure the holding room they have for Sam is comfortable and even grabbed a few things from home she knows she will enjoy: her favorite throw, a few books she was planning to read, a current newspaper (after ensuring it bore no mention of Reign), and a couple of the brunette's favorite snacks. She doesn't think about how little of this information Ruby needed to supply. She doesn't wonder how she knows so much about Sam's habits just from the few nights she spent studying her.
When she'd done every thing she can think of, she decides to talk with Sam until Lena arrives with the inhibitor.
She heads toward the medical bay and finds Sam still in bed but awake. She looks terrible, like she barely slept all night. Alex feels incredibly guilty for having left her alone with her demons.
"Did you get any sleep?" Alex worries.
Sam raises her head and shakes it before laying back down. "I just can't get it out of my head, Alex. It's all there. All those people, it's in my head. I remember everything, the prison, the subway station, CatCo. I almost killed Kara, twice. I'm so sorry. And you-"
"Sam," Alex tries to interrupt.
"No," She stops her. "I hurt you. I almost killed you. What would I have done if I did?" She is crying again, this time tears flow freely. Alex wonders if they have stopped all night.
Alex wants to go into the room and hold Sam. Assure her it's alright and prove to her that she is still human. But she knows releasing the security on Sam would put her in even more distress. She figures the only thing she can do is talk.
"One time, Kara was accidentally exposed to this form of Kryptonite called Red K. It's turns you into a dark and bitter person, someone who makes good on every terrible thought and says every terrible thing that comes to mind." Sam is still crying but Alex sees that she is listening. She walks over and sits on the floor in front of Sam's bed on the other side of the chamber wall and continues.
"She threw Cat Grant off of the CatCo. building. She eviscerated me, told me every terrible thing she could think of, made me feel awful. She broke my arm in a fight, she hurt me too. The worst part is that everything she did was just an overmagnification of all the little nagging feelings she had about us. They all had a basis, even if they were just minute in her mind, they made themselves feel large. I have never seen Kara so broken as the day we released her from the Red K and she recalled what she had done. I don't think I'd seen anybody that broken," She pauses for a moment before adding "until you woke up yesterday."
Sam sniffles at that and shakes her head. "What I did is so much worse," Sam sobs. "I can never be forgiven."
"Sam, just like you, Kara had no control of herself and did terrible things. Actually, even worse so, she actually felt those thoughts. She hurt me, physically and emotionally. But I forgave her, because I love her. I didn't let her off the hook. We had to work through a lot, but we are stronger for it. You can't live in the misery of your past, especially the parts you can't control. You had no control over Reign and there is no getting over the pain she caused if you don't work to move passed it. Work towards making up for it, Sam. Work towards forgiveness. You can't give up," Alex encourages her, raising from the floor.
Sam wipes her eyes and attempts to curb her tears but they still fall from time to time. She sits up and looks down before whispering, "okay."
"Okay?" Alex wonders and Sam nods lightly. "Okay, so today we use the inhibitor and get your brain looked at. I've also got a new room set up for you-"
"Alex I need to stay secure," Sam reminds her.
"And you will be just as secure, I promise. But you will also be more comfortable," Alex assures her.
"If we can ensure that I will be contained, I will do whatever you need Alex," she sighs.
Alex smiles at her for finally agreeing to something.
"And that's what I am here to do," Lena announces, interrupting the snarky comment Alex had planned on making. Kara has followed her in as well. "I enhanced a few things on the inhibitor just to be sure it could control someone with twice the power of Reign. Sam, it is foolproof," She promises.
"I can't be sure until we test it," Sam groans, getting up and stepping towards the exchange slot.
"Sam, I need to warn you," Kara halts her for a moment. "I'm not sure how much you remember of how Kryptonite felt to Reign. The inhibitor is a little less painful, but It isn't pleasant. I need you to be aware of what you are about to do." Kara says seriously.
"I will do whatever it takes to get home to Ruby," Sam replies confidently.
Alex smirks at that. She knows Sam will be okay, just by the love she has for Ruby. She knows that is what saved Sam's soul, and what will continue to do so. She has no doubt that Sam is stronger than Reign and something in her swells at the thought.
"Okay," Lena exhales in agreement. "I'm going to give you the inhibitor and this device that monitors your grip strength in pounds of pressure. I'm going to start you off at sixty percent of the amount necessary to weaken Kara to human strength."
"Okay," Sam nods firmly, retrieving the items from the other side of the chamber.
"Place the inhibitor on your right temple. I am going to count to three and then turn it on. Give me a verbal or a visual signal if it's too much, and I will turn it off immediately. If you feel fine, we will have you give the monitor the tightest squeeze you can with your dominant hand. When we get you to delivering about 80 pounds of pressure your power should equal that of a human's," Lena explains.
"Sounds easy enough," Sam replies. She places the device on her temple and stands up tall. She takes a breath and nods her head.
Lena counts to three and turns the device to the desired level.
Lena tells her to squeeze the monitor and it immediately crumbles in Sam's hands. Lena's jaw drops.
"Couldn't you have gotten an industrial strength one, Lena?" Alex chuckles when it completely disintegrates under Sam's strength. She misses the cringe and disappointed look on Sam's face.
"That device can handle over 5000 pounds of pressure," Lena exclaims in awe.
Finally, Alex's and Kara's jaws join Lena's on the floor. Kara's strength would be only at about 1200 pounds at this point, well within the range of the meter.
"Are you sure that is sixty percent of the amount necessary to weaken Supergirl?" Alex scoffs.
"Of course, I am not some twit," Lena bites back. "She must be stronger than Kara," She wonders, looking towards her girlfriend.
"Reign almost kicked my butt every time, I wouldn't put it past her being that strong. Let's up it to a hundred," She encourages.
"Sam-"
"Let's do it," Sam agrees before Alex can say more than just her name.
Lena supplies her with a new monitor and they try again.
The same result occurs.
They continue this route several times, Lena is on her fifth and final monitor and Sam is already at 200 percent inhibition.
"This is the last shot, or I need to build a few more monitors," Lena notes.
"Go to 280 percent," Sam demands.
"Sam, that might be too much," Alex tries to stop her.
"I don't care," Sam replies.
"Kryptonite has a lag effect," Kara chimes in. "Once we reach the amount that will affect you, each additional amount will exponentially deplete-"
"I don't care," Sam repeats. I will warn you if it's too much and we can easily dial down."
Lena looks to Kara and Alex for a moment before shrugging. "She is right," She notes.
"Lena, you don't know how it feels," Kara says sorrowfully. "It really isn't pleasant even at small exposure."
Lena takes her hand and nods. "I know, but she wants closure now. I will turn it off immediately if it's too much. I won't let it kill her."
Kara doesn't look so sure but she squeezes Lena's hand and nods in agreement.
Alex can't look when Lena says three.
It's quiet for far too long in Alex's mind, though it truly is only a second before Lena sighs and asks Sam to squeeze the device.
It registers at 500 pounds of pressure.
At 300 percent, the monitor reads 80 pounds and they all seem to celebrate except for Sam.
"Keep going," She demands.
"Sam, we have you at the strength of the average female at your age. It worked," Lena explains, thinking Sam is confused.
"I want to be as strong as a weak human, not an average one," Sam tells her.
"I don't think that is necessary," Kara replies.
"I think it is," Sam says. "I need to be sure. Let me be sure," she pleads.
"Sam, doing this will exhaust you, weaken you beyond belief. Without the sun, this could even cause you to solar flare over time," Alex warns her.
"Alex, please," she begs, looking directly into the redhead's eyes. "You know I need to be sure."
Tears pool in her eyes as she nods her head. "We won't do this to you permanently, Sam. We aren't trying to torture you."
"I will endure whatever I need to, to ensure Ruby is safe," She replies.
"No, Alex is right. We will only do this for today. After we have done tests and assured you, you are fine, we will release you back to this level," Lena challenges her. She cannot agree to reduce Sam's strength to that of a hundred-year-old woman.
"Fine," Sam agrees begrudgingly.
In the end, they settle on 315 percent inhibition.
Alex notices that Sam is barely standing, that she looks like she's dead on her feet. The brunette wobbles a bit before going over and sitting down on her bed.
They squabble a bit more about lowering the level just a little, but Sam holds them to the deal.
They end up having to relegate Sam to a wheelchair, because she is too weak to walk to the radiology lab.
Alex wants to continue to push the subject, but decides to give in to Sam's wishes.
They run every test imaginable now that her brain is active again. Countless brain scans, MRIs, CTs, ENGs, etc. Anything to measure any and all brain activity.
"Everything is clear," Lena sighs after going over all of the scans with Alex for a sixth time. "Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Nothing?" Sam wonders with a scoff.
"We know you're Kryptonian via the DNA sequencing we've ran on you every week since you entered the coma. Your brain should function almost exactly as Kara's. I am starting to work on technology to dive deeper into the brain, but until that is complete, this is the furthest we can look," Lena explains.
"But, Sam woke up due to stimulus," Alex supplies.
"What kind?" Lena questions.
"Ruby's voice, and her touch," Sam answers.
"Were there any commonalities before each of your blackouts? A common factor that could point to a stimulus to awaken Reign?" Lena wonders.
"I- no, not that I can recall," Sam replies, wracking her brain to the last thing she can remember each time she became Reign. She finally falls on one thing. "Pain or danger. I got shot at that press event, I once stuck my hand in boiling water, and I bent that beam in front of Ruby. All of those times, pain or a danger to myself was present and Reign took over for self-preservation."
"That is excellent," Lena muses, while Alex's and Kara's heads both shoot towards her, both holding a confused and worried expression.
"How is that good news?" Alex wonders, hoping Lena doesn't plan to harm Sam.
"Pain is a strong feeling and an easy one to manipulate. If we induce pain and Sam's brain scans still appear normal, that could be proof that Sam has her contained," Lena explains.
"Lena, you can't be suggesting what I think you are," Kara says, shaking her head in disapproval.
"Do whatever it takes," Sam replies.
"This is ludicrous, there has to be another way," Alex tries to reason.
"This seems like the most plausible effort," Lena admits. "self-preservation is second-nature to any life form. If we induce a need for it, and Reign still doesn't emerge, she may be contained for good."
"What you are talking about is bringing Sam to the verge of death all for the chance to hint at whether Reign may be constrained," Alex argues.
"I would never risk my friend's life, Agent," Lena barks at Alex.
She looks at Lena, appalled at her lack of empathy. Kara looks just as concerned. She turns to reason with Sam.
"Sam, this could kill you. What about Ruby?" Alex questions.
"I am doing this for Ruby," Sam replies sternly.
"How is this for Ruby if you kill yourself?" Alex asks bitterly.
"She will be safe. I would rather be dead than risk my daughter's life continuing to harbor a world killing, terrorist that could potentially kill her and you and everyone else I love," Sam argues back. Her chest heaves with exhaustion as she attempts to catch her breath. Ironically, she doesn't look forward to being a hundred years old.
Alex can't believe what she's hearing. She can't believe how much Sam has given up, how sure she is that there is no hope she could be Reign on her own. "I refuse to watch or be a part of this," Alex replies, heading toward the door, stopping in front of Lena. "Don't fuck this up, whether she likes it or not I am not letting her leave Ruby an orphan," Alex says sternly to Lena, before continuing out of the room.
On the other side of the door she processes everything and lets the emotions hit her. She doesn't know why she feels like this. She thinks it's just because she can't bear the thought of telling Ruby that her mother was killed by the woman who is practically her aunt.
She tries not to think about the fact that Sam said she loved her. Alex doesn't dare let herself think how Sam loving her makes her feel, even as just a friend. She doesn't wonder if Ruby isn't the only reason she cares so deeply about Sam. She doesn't dare allow herself to think anything other than Samantha Arias better get herself together before Alex has to set her straight.
She ends up in the gym, laying into a punching bag while she tries to consider every single aspect of this situation that has her pissed off and work each one out from there.
She starts with the old guilt. The thoughts of how she should have realized sooner. The sorrow that they never were able to find a way to expel Reign for good. The fear that, that impotence is the very reason Sam is now in this very spot.
She moves on to Sam. The stubborn brunette reminds her so much of Ruby. She fully understands where the younger Arias gets her attitude, strength, and resilience from. She lands extra punches in addition to her rhythms, syncopating her anger into every blow. How dare that woman be so selfish and incorrigible.
Finally, she lands on Lena. Lena who has said yes to every dangerous request Sam has made. Lena who just wants to prod and experiment on Sam. Lena who refuses to talk any sense into Sam. She lands an especially hard blow at the end of that thought. Where does the woman get off?
"Hey," J'onn interrupts her Lena fueled attack.
"What," Alex barks unintentionally.
"I noticed you're a little frustrated and I figured I'd try to talk it through with you," he replies casually.
"You read my mind," she states knowingly.
"I can't really help it when you're basically screaming inside your own head," he chuckles.
"Well, you know why I'm mad. What's your advice?" Alex asks. She knows for all it is worth, J'onn has one of the most rational minds she's had the pleasure of learning from. She trusts him with her life.
"My advice?" He wonders for a moment and collects his thoughts. "Right now we are focusing on diagnostics. Unfortunately, it has gone in an unconventional way. However, Sam and Lena are consenting adults. They have a right to proceed through these diagnostics any way Sam feels fit."
"Even if Lena is biased and Sam has a suicide wish?" Alex wonders.
"it is their choice, so I still must say yes to that. Alex, you are ignoring the bigger picture. Lena is trying to do whatever it takes to reassure and save her friend and Sam is willing to die to ensure everyone is safe from her. They too are not wrong in their feelings," J'onn explains.
"They aren't thinking with Ruby in mind," Alex argues.
"They would argue they are," J'onn replies. "Regardless, I do agree this is the wrong way to go about this."
"You do?" Alex asks, surprised.
"Yes. Finding out the status of Reign is not the most pertinent question. It is, if Reign still exists and can get free, how do we control her? And I believe we already have the answer to that," he muses.
"And that would be?" She asks.
"Sam," he chuckles in response. "She is the one who defeated Reign. The one who locked her away deep into her mind and found her way out. She is stronger than Reign. So much so that Reign may never find her way out even without strengthening her mind. While Sam is here, my father and I can teach her some techniques; ones similar to meditation here on Earth. They will strengthen her mind, further expand and convolute the apexes of the brain. Through this, she can keep Reign lost within her mind for as long as she lives."
"Then why are you letting them do this to her?" She questions angrily. "If you have a way to solve this, why not say anything before they risk her life?"
"I have read Ms. Arias's thoughts a lot. She needs reassurance before she can learn. First, Lena must prove Reign is contained. Then we teach Sam to continue to contain her so she never need worry about facing her. I realize the danger, but I trust Lena. You need to as well one day, as Kara will need that from you if she chooses to spend her life with her." He leaves her with those words as he heads out just as Kara enters cautiously.
They smile at each other as they pass. Kara stops at the door and mumbles a "hey" at Alex. She crosses her arms passively and tries to judge if Alex has cooled off.
"Hey," Alex mimics back softly.
"I just wanted to tell you Sam is done for the day. She's fine, just resting in the new chamber," Kara informs her.
"How is she? How did it go?" She asks impatiently.
"Lena devised that we electrocute her, it would fry her nerves and free up an easy way out if Reign was active. We went up to what Lena calculated would be the max voltage she could theoretically handle at her current state. We made sure we had sunlamps on and Lena made me hold on to the inhibitor. If she coded, Lena was confident restoring her full Kryptonian power would save her," Kara explains. "We were safe, Alex. You have to know Lena only wants the best for Sam as well," she pleads attempting to build a common ground between the two of them.
"What did you find?" she demands, ignoring her sister's plea.
"Nothing conclusive. We delivered the highest voltage Lena would allow. Reign never emerged or showed signs," Kara shrugs. "Sam is resting now; she's pretty worn out."
"I'm going to see how she is," Alex states before heading towards Sam's room. She doesn't expect to run into Lena halfway there.
"Hey," Lena starts as she gets closer. "She's waiting for you, but I'd like to talk first."
"Can it wait?" Alex asks, impatient as ever to make sure Sam is ok, for Ruby's sake of course.
"I'd rather it didn't," she says crossing her arms.
Alex sighs and relaxes for a moment. She tries to remember what J'onn said and gives Lena the benefit of the doubt. "Go ahead," she relents.
"I know how much you care about Sam, Alex. I don't need to know in what fashion, but I see it in your face how deeply you feel for her. Sometimes, our emotions can cloud our judgements-"
"And sometimes your desire to prod and experiment can cloud yours," she bites back before Lena can finish her sentence.
"Alex, I care about Sam," Lena replies tensely.
"Enough to not let your ego get in the way?" She taunts.
"She is my best friend," Lena nearly shouts, tears brimming her eyes. "How dare you question me on whether or not I have the closest person in my life's best interests at heart. I love Sam and Ruby with everything I have and I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. I have known Sam all my life. I know she's stubborn as hell and I know what it will take to prove to her everything you, and I, and everyone else already knows."
She is shaking as she speaks and Alex is taken aback a moment before she backs down. "I'm sorry. I know that. Of course I know that, I just- I don't want her to get hurt any more than she has. She's not thinking straight and I was mad that you were encouraging her thoughts."
"Sam knows what's at stake more than all of us," Lena replies. "Give her credit. It's why she's being even more stubborn than usual."
"I'll try," Alex nods, relenting all fight left within her. Lena smiles at her and encourages her towards Sam's room.
When Alex gets in, she finds Sam resting on her bed. She looks weak and tired and Alex finds herself angry again at the thought of what she's been through today.
She walks up to the glass and peers at Sam for a few minutes before the brunette feels her presence.
Sam opens her eyes slowly and blinks a few times before a smile dawns her face. "Hi," she whispers, her voice dry and laced with exhaustion.
"Hi," Alex smiles fondly back.
"I'm alive," she jokes.
"Barely, it seems. Have they reduced the percentage on the inhibitor?" Alex asks, wondering why she is still so weak.
Sam shakes her head. "I convinced them down to 310," she groans out.
Alex tries to remain calm no matter how much she wants to tell Sam how stupid that is. She sighs loudly and doesn't say anything before disarming Sam's room.
"What are you doing?" Sam panics as Alex walks in.
"What is the sense of all of these locks and barriers when you look like you're on your death bed?" Alex says releasing an exasperated sigh as she walks closer to her bed.
"You shouldn't be in here, Alex. I could hurt you," Sam warns.
"I'm not so sure," Alex replies bitterly. "We had a deal, Sam. The tests were promising and J'onn is sure he has a way to ensure Reign will not emerge. You are not doing anyone any favors by making us keep you in this state."
"What is J'onn's plan?" She asks, coughing between words. Alex grabs a glass of water and forces the brunette to drink.
"He wants to teach you methods to strengthen your mind, continue to build upon the cage trapping Reign," Alex summarizes.
"We can't be sure that will work," Sam denies. "What if she outsmarts me, or overpowers me?"
"Sam, you have already shown you are stronger than her. This is the closest thing we have to a solution right now. We can continue diagnosing the extent in which Reign remains, while training you to control your mind and your powers," Alex explains.
"Until I am sure-"
"What if Ruby wants to see you?" Alex asks, her impatience growing. "Do you want her to see you like this?"
"I'd rather not see her until-"
"Sam, that isn't fair to her," Alex cuts in again.
"I don't care about fair, I care about my daughter's safety," Sam replies as sternly as possible in her weakened state.
Alex growls and then sighs. She pushes Sam's legs aside and plops unto the bed angrily. Personal space be damned; she needs to find a way to get through to the stubborn woman. She puts her head into her hands for a few moments and tries to gather herself.
She looks at Sam sadly and tries to appeal to her once more. "You are locked in one of the most technologically advanced holding cells on the planet, you are currently wearing an inhibitor that can deliver enough Kryptonite to kill you, and you are surrounded by dozens of highly trained agents and Supergirl at almost all times. You are secure, Sam. I need you to trust me on that."
"Of course I trust you, Alex," she replies. "It's myself that I don't trust."
"Sam, our deal was to release you back to human strength once you were cleared," Alex reminds her.
"But I haven't been cleared," Sam argues.
"You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met," Alex growls. "Do you only care about yourself and your feelings?" Alex tries to sound angry but the last words come out wrapped around a sob.
Sam feels guilty immediately. Alex is not someone she would expect to see cry, and now she's realizing she's seen it more times than she'd like. Almost every time, she regretfully recalls, having occurred while she was Reign.
"I'm sorry," Sam pleads, taking Alex hand.
"I wish you'd stop apologizing," Alex sighs in response, wiping her eyes. "Please, Sam, let us drop the power just 10 percent. You will still be weak, but not too weak to perform normal tasks." She tries one final time to plea with Sam.
"I can't risk it," Sam repeats.
"If you continue to stay this weak, you will never progress. You will not have the energy to train with Supergirl to ensure that you can safely navigate with your powers. You will not have the energy to train with J'onn. Any tests we perform on you will be killing you slowly, as all the energy you expend is your life force leaving you. For your health, for my sanity and for Ruby's sake, please let us turn it down." Alex begs. She's looking into Sam's eyes, holding her hand and pleading with every ounce of energy she has left in her. "Let us all see you grow into this state over the next 70 years."
She blinks back a few tears. "I'm scared," she admits softly.
Alex fights the urge to hug Sam. She looks so broken and fragile and Alex just wants to hold her together. Instead she squeezes her hand encouragingly. "I know. But we will all do whatever it takes to keep you and Ruby safe, Sam. You just need to trust us."
Sam nods her head and appears to relent. "You can lower the inhibitor to 300 percent," Sam sighs. "But, I need you to leave and enable all the security controls again. I also want a guard in here at all times with the control."
Alex nods, knowing Sam could have worse demands. She is happy Sam is willing to reason with her. She gets up and gives Sam's hand a gentle and grateful squeeze. "I'll grab Lena and Kara," she says, trying to contain her relief.
She leaves the room and reinstates the security systems. She leaves and returns with Lena and Kara after a few minutes.
Upon entering the room, Lena immediately releases ten percent power on the inhibitor and Sam feels worlds better in seconds. Alex presses a button on the wall and a small sun lamp above the bed turns on.
"I'd like that off," Sam shakes her head, rising to sit on the edge of her bed. She notices how much easier the movement is with just the reduction of ten percent on the inhibitor. She tries not to think of how that compares to the other 300 percent. She tries not to correlate the fact that she is somehow almost three times as strong as Supergirl and could easily hurt or kill everyone she loves watching her from the adjacent room with a hug.
"It will help you regain your energy," Alex argues.
"I don't want to regain power, Alex. I let you lower the Kryptonite, I did not ask to be healed. The weaker I am, the better," she explains.
Alex nods and turns off the lamp. She shakes her head at how insufferable the woman is. She doesn't know why she keeps trying.
"How do you feel?" Lena asks.
"Stronger," Sam replies. "It worries me."
"Your strength is not the enemy, Sam. I can teach you how to control it," Kara replies.
"How?" Sam wonders.
"Using the same techniques I used when I was learning to control my powers," Kara replies. "In time, when you feel comfortable with not inhibiting your powers, we can work on a few things."
"What is the plan going forward?" Sam inquires. "I need to know what I am facing."
Lena and Kara share glances and a nod before Lena begins to speak. "We need to test other stimuli on you to see if it garners any reaction that could indicate if Reign is still present within your mind."
"How do we plan to do that?" She questions warily.
"Well, we need to stimulate strong emotions that may entice Reign to reveal herself. She didn't react to pain, but she may respond to fear, or extreme anger, possibly even a need for self-defense. We will need to manipulate your emotions," Lena explains.
"So what will we be doing?" Sam continues to wonder.
"Well, I know something that sometimes makes me extremely angry and puts my self-defense skills to the test," Kara chuckles. "That is sparring with Alex, which is what we will have you doing with a special brain monitor Lena is working on."
"What?" Both Sam and Alex ask in shock.
"Alex, we both know you are the best at teaching technique and developing people via sparring. You're how I learned everything I know. Plus, you're a huge instigator," Kara chuckles.
"Am not," Alex denies.
"Are too," Kara shoots back. "It's going to be frustrating the first time you go against Alex and that may be enough to draw forth Reign. Plus, it will teach you how to protect yourself, Sam. Alex will teach you the right way to fight and defend. You will need to know this as part of gaining control of your powers and your strength."
"I don't feel comfortable fighting Alex," Sam says wearily. "I can easily hurt her with my powers. And what if Reign does emerge?"
"We will have Lena observing and you will keep your inhibitor on to at least 280 percent," Kara responds. "Think about it. We don't have to do it tomorrow, or even this week. But this is a solid plan."
"Okay," Sam nods.
"When you are comfortable lowering the inhibitor, I will begin your strength training," Kara reiterates, hoping to press into Sam's head that she will have to face her powers sooner or later or she will not progress.
"I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable with that," Sam replies regretfully. She stares down at her lap for a moment before looking back up toward the three of them. "Nothing you are saying will ensure Reign can't get out."
"We will start your training with J'onn immediately," Alex says. "His techniques will strengthen the control you have over your mind. When you feel like you can control Reign, we can progress towards working on your powers," she says hoping to assure Sam. She knows the brunette isn't going to feel comfortable with the idea of having her powers back overnight. This is something they will have to wear Sam down on, and to do that Alex knows they have to make her feel comfortable.
"Okay," Sam agrees.
"J'onn will join you later for your first session and we will go from there," Alex tells her, receiving a nod from the brunette.
"Get some rest," Lena adds.
"Alex has selected Agent Vasquez to look over you this afternoon," Kara explains. "She will alert us if you need anything."
"Thank you, for everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't have you guys," Sam says, adoration and relief framing her face.
"We love you, Sam," Kara replies. "Just trust that we will do everything possible to help you and that we always have your best interests at heart."
Sam nods at her and Kara smiles before taking Lena's hand and heading out of the room, Alex follows a few moments later after saying goodbye to Sam.
Alex looks over the data Lena and Kara collected on Sam today and they discuss more planning and training. Lena and Winn go over plans to enhance a brain monitor to be able to see activity deeper in the brain.
After hours of strategizing, the entire team is confident of their way forward regardless of the outcome.
Alex feels assured that Sam will be safe and home as soon as she lets them lower her inhibitor. She decides to check in on Sam and see if J'onn's training helped.
When he sees where Alex is heading, Winn tries to follow, but Lena laughs as she pulls him back by the collar and shakes her head. Kara giggles as well as Winn remains confused for a moment until he realizes why and joins in.
Alex finds Sam sitting on the floor meditating when she walks in. J'onn has left her to continue to train on her own. She looks over the brunette and finally sees the first calm look she has seen on her face since she awoke. She is thankful J'onn was able to bring some peace to Sam.
She sits on the floor in front of her and waits.
The brunette never opens her eyes, but she eventually speaks. "He taught me how to build upon my mind, how to actually delve within my mind, and build upon it's vastness with my thoughts," Sam explains, continuing her meditation.
"How do you feel?" Alex wonders.
Sam smiles and finally ends her pose. "Like I might have a chance," she replies.
"Yeah?" Alex asks through a large grin. "That's good," she says, relief flooding her voice.
"I still want the security while I continue to train with J'onn," Sam says and notices Alex deflate a little. "I know that's not what you want to hear, Alex. I promise when I feel like I absolutely have control, I will let you guys dial the inhibitor down so we can train and continue to test for Reign."
Alex doesn't like it, but she knows Sam is being rational so she nods her agreement.
"I think I can sustainably keep her out, though," Sam exclaims hopefully. "I can keep her trapped, but I want to be sure."
"I understand," Alex replies. "I believe in you, though. And I think that in whatever instance you stack yourself up against Reign, you will win. Okay?"
Sam hears the confidence in her voice and the emotions swell within her as she just as intensely replies "okay."
They share a look that contains so much promise and affection before Sam finally breaks it.
"Besides, we will just keep saying that's why instead of what you're really scared of," Alex says, while crossing her arms.
"And what would that be?" Sam wonders.
"You're scared of me kicking your but in this sparring Kara has planned for us," Alex tells her confidently, earning a chuckle from the woman.
She looks down at her lap a moment and breaks the moment before speaking. "How's Ruby?"
"She's great, Sam," Alex smiles. "She misses you like crazy. Lena and I have been helping her with school, but it's not like she needs much. She's just as smart as her mom," Alex smiles toward the brunette.
"She's doing great in soccer. One of the best forwards on her team, according to Lena she gets that from her mom as well," Alex is now smirking as she says this. Sam doesn't need to know that she has a thing for soccer players. But when Lena let that slip, Alex had filed that info away in hopes of one day seeing pictures of Sam in her college soccer kit.
"I wasn't bad," Sam shrugs, with a laugh.
"I can't believe you never told me you played. I'd been to how many of Ruby's soccer games and you never once mentioned it. I'll have to check out your skill one day Ms. Arias, I was a defender," Alex replies smugly.
Sam grins at her. "Noted," she laughs out.
Alex smiles for a moment before getting back to Ruby. "So, anyways, Ruby went to a birthday party today, and then she is staying the night at Sara's house."
"So you're off the hook tonight?" Sam wonders. "Gonna go out on the town?" She's asking for selfish reasons and she knows it.
"More like go to my bed. I cherish the moments I get the house to myself," Alex chuckles.
"Right, it's like I love Ruby and she is by no means a lot of work, but when she's gone it is somehow blissful. Then I miss her like halfway through the night and it's not so blissful. Is it weird that I miss both of those feelings as much as I miss Ruby?"
"Not at all. You miss your old life, even the hum drum parts of it," Alex sighs, understanding Sam completely. "Can I bring Ruby in tomorrow to see you?" Alex wonders.
"I don't think I should do that so soon," Sam replies wearily.
"What if I work out an early session with J'onn and you feel like you do now?" Alex asks.
Sam thinks about it for a moment but realizes agreeing to think on it wouldn't hurt. She nods her head and Alex beams at her.
They talk a while longer about Ruby, their prior game nights, Sam's college soccer days and whatever else they land on.
Finally, Alex decides it is time they both get some rest. She wishes Sam goodnight and heads home, a smile never leaving her face until she falls asleep.
Sam spends the evening meditating just as J'onn taught her. When she awakens several times in the night, she meditates to try to ease her mind and go back to sleep. It doesn't lessen her guilt or lessen the number or intensity of her nightmares. But it helps assure her she is keeping Reign at bay, and that's just enough to let her sleep.
Sam realizes she cannot change the past, but she will do everything in her power to keep Reign from emerging and repeating it.
J'onn and M'yrnn spend the morning with her and teach her a few techniques to see further into her mind. It's nearly noon when Alex interrupts the three of them with lunch.
"Kara has your food, guys. I figured Sam could use a break," Alex tells J'onn as she passes him. He shoots her a knowing grin before shuffling M'yrnn out of the room.
"Just pizza," Alex says, as she puts a few slices on a plate and slides it through to Sam.
"I never thanked you for all the stuff you left in here for me," Sam says. "And now you deliver pizza to me? You're a goddess, Alex."
Alex laughs at the irony of it. "I think it is actually the other way around my dear."
"Yeah," Sam sighs. "Seriously though, Alex. I mean it. You've done so much for me. I don't know how to thank you."
"How about you thank me by letting your daughter come and spend some time with you today?" Alex asks hopefully.
Sam sighs. She feels much more confident after another day working with J'onn and that was the agreement. Sometimes she feels like Alex can turn her into putty, and part of that stems from how clearly and openly the agent loves her daughter.
"Okay," Sam agrees.
"Okay?" Alex asks excitedly.
"Yes, okay," Sam confirms.
"I'd hug you if I could, Sam," Alex says happily. "I'm proud of you."
Sam smiles at her, just happy to make the redhead happy. The two of them eat and talk for a while before Sam decides to meditate more until Ruby arrives.
When her daughter arrives, she beams, her smile the brightest it's been since she woke up. It's only been two days, but she's missed her daughter so much.
"Hi Rube," Sam says softly, walking over to the containment wall. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, Mom," Ruby replies, standing on the other side of the wall. "I wish I could hug you."
"I wish I could too, baby," Sam replies sadly. "As soon as we are sure it's safe, Ruby. Hugging you is the first thing I want to do."
Ruby smiles at her but it isn't quite full. Sam knows despite finally being awake, this is still hurting Ruby.
"How long will that take, another five months?" Ruby asks bitterly.
"Ruby," Sam scolds.
"Are you going to miss my graduation?" Ruby wonders.
"I will try my hardest-"
"It's always soon, I'll try, if, maybe or whatever unofficial confirmation you can give," Ruby interrupts her.
"What do you want from me Ruby? Do you want me to come home and turn into Reign and succeed in destroying the world? Do you want me to accidentally hurt you because I have no control over my powers? I don't want to be in here, Ruby. I don't want to be away from you, but I need to protect you," Sam replies. She sighs and takes a seat on the floor.
Ruby mimics her and rests her chin in her hands. "We just miss you, and want you to come home," she says softly.
"I know, Rube. I promise you I am trying, honey," Sam swears to her daughter. She doesn't miss the use of the word "we."
"Okay," Ruby sighs in yielding. "My coach sent me some videos of my last soccer game. Do you want to see? I scored twice!" Ruby says excitedly, pushing her phone up to the glass.
"Wow, Ruby that's awesome," Sam exclaims, watching her daughter on the small screen. She wishes she could watch her daughter in person.
"Alex taught me that," she exclaims pointing to the screen right as she fakes out the player with some footwork and attempts a shot on goal. "I can't wait until you're out and then I can have the two greatest moms ever teach me soccer. I'll be unstoppable," she shouts excitedly.
"Ruby," Sam stops her. "Alex isn't your mom," she tries to say gently.
"Well no, but right now she's kind of acting like one. Like yeah she's fun and cool to hang out with, but she also moms me and tells me to go to bed, or do my homework, or do my chores. And I can't call her Aunt Alex, because aunt implies that you are sisters and you two are definitely way too into each other to be sisters," Ruby chuckles not registering the shocked look on her mother's face.
"Ruby," Sam practically squeals. She has no idea what to say to that.
"Oh come on, you guys stare at each other with this weird look every time you're around each other. It's like you forget there are other people in the room for whole minutes at a time. It can get a little disgusting sometimes," Ruby says matter-of-factly.
"Oh my God," Sam exclaims, hiding her horrified face into her hands. "Ruby, please tell me you haven't had a discussion like this with Alex?" Sam begs.
"Of course not," Ruby laughs. "I'm not doing all the work for you."
"How did I raise such a brat?" Sam laughs.
"Alex tells me all the time that I am your child," Ruby jokes back.
"Yeah, well I think she's rubbing off on you just a little," Sam replies, before getting serious. "Ruby, I wish things were as simple as the way you see them. But, I need you not to meddle in Alex and I's relationship and just let things pan out the way they need to," Sam tells her.
"Okay," Ruby agrees reluctantly. "When you're out, can you and Alex play soccer with me though?" She asks.
"Deal," Sam replies, grinning at her daughter. Her daughter who is always too smart for her own good.
They continue to talk and play a few games Ruby brought for the two of them on the Nintendo Switch, until Alex comes to retrieve her.
"Thank you for pushing me to do this," Sam admits as Alex helps Ruby gather her things. She looks over to the brunette and smiles.
They all say their goodbyes and the two of them head out.
Sam thinks through a lot of her and Ruby's conversations and wills herself to try harder to overcome her fears and get out. She falls asleep to thoughts of a redhead and all of her encouragements.