Chapter 1

Do I have to disclaim the rights of this story every chapter? Well if I do I don't own any of this, well except my own ideas thrown in there. It's strange, the schools on Astraea hill have the same grade system as mine. It's easier to write that way, I'm in fifth year where I'm from, the same as Chikaru, Amane, Kaname and Mommomi.

This chapter is written in Tamao's perspective. From now own as long as the name is above the writing you know who's taking, if you find it hard to cop on that is and because I'm used to writing like this. Enjoy and thank you for my first ever review meaticow. It's great to get feedback that fast and it's also great to be complimented lol =]

Tamao

I had this talent nobody knew about. It develops when you're as sensitive as I am. It's a way of dealing with pain and I've mastered it. The first thing you need is time and time alone which I haven't had yet since everyone was at my dorm for the tea party last night. The second thing you need is time away from the person who's hurting you which I hope I can manage even though we share the same dorm. The third thing you need is love or a new obsession. The last thing you need is poetry and something to preoccupy you, preferably not something school related. Something fun, like a good book, writing poetry and eating chocolate with a nice cup of tea. Basically the last step is to love and pamper yourself. You're upset and you're entitled to be upset. I was entitled to feel like this. Whenever I thought about it, which was a lot and I really couldn't help it, I'd get this empty feeling at the pit of my stomach. Like I was hungry but for something other than food. My insides would feel cold, my outsides would become clustered with hotness the emotions caused, preparing itself for more tears. I lay in bed, I really couldn't control my thoughts and my anger towards them. I wasn't angry at Nagisa, I was angry at Shizuma but at the same time I knew she needed Nagisa and I pitied her like I always used to. I was angry at Nagisa for not understanding what it meant to be an Etoile. She didn't know the story about Juliet and Juliet, if it wasn't for those girls Astraea hill wouldn't be the same. In short, the girls died for each other. The story got out and over time Astraea hill's schools got a name for themselves. Students who were also experiencing ridicule for their sexuality started to join. More and more came along, it was the place to be if you were attracted to girls. I remember I transferred in first year, in primary school when we were only twelve kids were laughing at this school. They heard about it themselves and they said there's was loads of lesbians in it. I knew I had to enrol in it after hearing it was made for me. My parents wanted me to go to a good school and this school had a great reputation. This school also had a different reputation they didn't know about and if they find out what does it matter? They had me in and out of boarding schools since I could go to school. I was independent enough to live by myself. I didn't even know them well enough to know how they'd react but if they reacted badly I was safe. Who knew school could be such a dream come through until you fall in love? It was all great, except for the fact you couldn't have a phone.

"Tamao-chan?"I wiped my eyes to the door opening and the whispering voice. I didn't need to see though, I already recognised her voice straight away. In fact every time I heard it my heart would skip a beat then thump irregularly. It was the girl who didn't know my feelings, who didn't know what it meant nowadays in this school to become Etoile. At least I hoped she didn't understand, because if she did she was insensitive to my feelings which Nagisa could never be.

"Good morning." I slipped out of bed, letting the warmth leave my body. I still felt a little sick and breathless, heart break had physical side effects, too. But I got up anyway and stood in the cold in front of Nagisa, she gave a weak smile and I tried one back.

"Good morning."

I said back, stroking heat back into my arms, shivering, not because of the coldness though but she'd never know that. I was going to ask her where she was but I didn't want to know. I looked down at the floor, I knew she was walking over to me, but I still looked down.

"Tamao-chan…"

"What's wrong?"

I asked scared of her closeness. She was standing opposite me then, only inches away from me. I looked up to Nagisa's smiling face and sad eyes, she looked flushed and she didn't smell like she usually did. She smelt like the greenhouse.

"Thank you Tamao-chan,so much.....I know you really wanted to be Etoile but you gave it up because you know how much Shizuma means to me. That was very kind and noble of you. Everyone's talking about how admirable it was. You have no idea how much I appreciate it,"

She sounded like she revised what she was saying. It wasn't like Nagisa to say something like that. I think Shizuma helped her plan what she was going to say which I appreciated even more and what she said proved she had no idea what I thought it meant to be Etoile.

"Tamao-chan's the greatest and the best friend Nagisa's ever had; is what I'm trying to say."

Nagisa smiled through saddened eyes. I smiled back, that sounded more like Nagisa.

"Nagisa...."

I blushed, trying to be modest. Then out of nowhere Nagisa threw her arms around me. I hugged her back.

"You're the best friend I've ever had."

She repeated.

"You're mine too Nagisa." Nagisa took a deep breath, still hugging me.

"I love you Tamao-chan."

"I love you too Nagisa."

Just not the way you love me.

"Come on, it's time to go down and get some eats."

Nagisa blushed.

"I already got breakfast, but I'll see you in class."

I nodded at her. Good, that was a good thing. That meant time away from her, class time doesn't count and then tomorrow everyone's off for the Christmas break. The sixth years are graduating then doing exams for the rest of our time left. This was going to be hard but easier than I imagined. Nagisa left and left me with another hug. I was used to hugging her briefly but when she held me like that it was horrible instead of nice. I had a shower and changed into my uniform then headed out for breakfast. The cafeteria was in a huge bustle, everyone was talking about what lay ahead today while I just searched for somewhere to sit. I saw Tsubomi and Yaya chatting away and I approached them. They suddenly shut up.

"Morning."

Yaya said in a goofy voice.

"Good morning Tamao-senpai, come sit with us."

Okay there's something seriously wrong, senpai? Tsubomi called me senpai? She never called anyone senpai and I didn't even go to her school. She never truly respected people from my school.

"Good morning you two, where's Hikari?"

They weren't fighting? They were together even though Hikari wasn't there? I looked at Yaya, she frowned indifferently and shrugged.

"Haven't seen her."

Yaya explained.

"Me neither…"

Tsubomi swirled her orange juice with a straw. I took a bite out of my toast and we sat in silence.

"That tea party was fun Tamao."

Tsubomi beamed at me.

"Thank you."

"Do you have tea for breakfast?"

Yaya asked, seemingly shocked.

"Lots of people do."

"But it's freezing outside, warm liquid will cool down in your system and it won't keep you warm at all."

I raised an eyebrow at Yaya.

"Yeah Tamao, you should take care of yourself."

What's with these two? Tsubomi got up to empty her tray.

"I better get to class."

"It's too early."

Yaya said.

"Not if you're a good, hard working student."

"Well then it's too early."

Tsubomi huffed, emptied her tray and walked away.

"Bye Tamao-senpai."

She only said goodbye to me.

"See you."

Yaya laughed and shook her head with fondness. They were getting along better last night, too. This was my first time I was alone with Yaya, I realised we never talked that much at all. We just regarded each other as friends. Well I regaraded her as a friend I just wish we talked more.

"So Suzumi-chan, you're coming to my place tonight. I decided to have a tea party there instead of you having to put it on by yourself again. It's our way of celebrating that we're still here in heaven and we're luckier than those sixth years."

I laughed and smiled.

"That sounds like fun, who else is going?"

"You, me, Tsubomi, Hikari, not Amane, maybe Nagisa but she'll be upset not celebrating. Tsubomi's friend Chiyo will be there,"

Friend?

"And those three little chicks from Lulim, in fact I've been thinking about inviting Chikaru over since her friends will be there and since she's hot but I don't know her that well at all. You know her right? How about you invite her? She's in fifth year, she loves this place so this would be a celebration to her."

Yaya had a smirk on her that cleared up any suspicions I had for what I thought was going on with her and Tsubomi.

"Of course, I'll ask her as soon as I see her."

Yaya grinned.

"Heh heh."

I finished off my toast and walked over to the bin to empty my tray.

"Sit back down for a second."

I sat obediently.

"As if class will be proper today, I'm only up at this time because Tsubomi doesn't like to be seen alone. Even though she's a loner, she's just insecure about it see. But anyway. There's no point in going to school today, we'll just be tidying up anyway and we're not allowed have a party even though we're splitting for the holidays. Do you actually want to tidy up? They don't take a roll call."

Did Yaya want to mitch with me?

"They might take a roll call in Miator."

Yaya grinned.

"People adore you in that school Tamao. I already got somebody to say yeah when they call out the roll call for you. They'll be doing it in the assembly, it's just too easy."

I felt my eyes snap open. She did that for me?

"Thank you. I've never skipped class before. What do you have planned?"

"Tamao-senpai, there is no class so this doesn't count. Now come on, let's get out of this kip, I'll show you now what's going down."