So last chapter Damon is all 'I'm gonna bring her back!' but it's been a few weeks in the story since then but Bonnie is like this beacon of hope and light for Damon so there is no giving up…

P.S. that song Lost by Kris Allen good theme to this chapter I think.

The last few of Damon's weeks have been consisting of: try to find something that might bring back Bonnie, find something that might bring back Bonnie, try to bring back Bonnie, fail, be nagged by Elena to take her help, lather, rinse, repeat.

Damon sighed tiredly as he flipped through more books he had Ms. Cuddles tightly clutched in his lap for comfort. The bear's more comforting than Caroline, she's all pep all the time. Although sometimes it was helpful mostly it was annoying to Damon. But at least she makes herself useful unlike some people. He thought to himself, thinking of Elena and how she kept whining to him about wanting to help but never just stepping up and actually doing something about it. I love her, but the girl is all talk.

Damon yawned and then looked at the time: 4:39 a.m.

"Twenty more minutes then I swear I'll go to bed." he told Ms. Cuddles then kept reading.

Going with the notion that she was 'building up her tolerance' Bonnie had been drinking through Damon's liquor cabinet.

She was dancing around the house naked, in her underwear at the grocery store, and atop car roofs. She had completely let loose and not having a care in the world/purgatory, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd eaten. Maybe because the last few weeks, had all been a blur. No one is here, and no one is coming. She would think to herself darkly, and then throw back another shot to numb the pain.

She was just waking up to feel all sore and cold, she threw her hand over to reach for a blanket but instead felt dampness. Bonnie raised her head and opened her eyes to the dewed grassy ground she was laying on.

Okay maybe the drinking is getting a little out of hand.

Bonnie pushed herself up to sit up, an empty Jack Daniels sat next to her. She picked up Jack and slowly stood, realizing her shoes were missing.

Barefoot with her empty bottle she walked around trying to figure out where she had wondering off to.

Somewhere in the woods. Was all she had gathered, but then again her head was still kind of mushy. Looking up at the trees like they'd give her some directions she hadn't been watching her footing and tripped over her own shoes.

Scrapping her knee in the process, she hissed.

"Damn it!" she cursed, looking at the red liquid ooze. She pulled on her shoes then stood back up.

"This place…" Bonnie looked at the familiar open space and then it dawned on her, "It's my grave." She said lowly. Well it will be. She thought about her makeshift grave.

Where's the stump? Or tree I guess… she wondered.

Bonnie started walking again back home.

A few hours later she was back, with a potted tree, gloves, and some gardening tools. She had went to the hardware store and looked through a bunch of different books on different trees and how to plant them. Then found the right supplies and headed back to her grave, for some reason it was important to her to plant this tree for herself, and her grave one-day. Not that she was entirely sure that it would actually grow into the same tree since this was a purgatory and not really 1994 but…

She decided to go with a Flowering Crabapple tree for the pretty little flowers that would blossom, plus she knew they were sturdy, life bringing, and could survive in wildlife.

This is my tree.

"Damon…" he heard a voice.

"Damon!" the voice shouted and then kicked him in the leg.

"Ow!" his eyes shot open and looked to his assaulter, finding and very pleased with herself Caroline.

"How cute… I didn't know you had your very own teddy bear! Do you sleep with it every night or only nights when you sleep on the floor?" she giggled.

Damon looked to see Ms. Cuddles tucked in his arms and held against his chest.

"Actually I only sleep with it when I think I'm going to have nightmares about rude blondes barging into my home and kicking me in my sleep." Damon smirked as he sat up still holding Ms. Cuddles.

"Not rude or barging when you've been invited." Caroline quipped.

"I don't recall inviting you." Damon said impatiently.

"Well you did. Remember Lucy is coming into town today to do the tracking spell so maybe we can figure out where exactly Bonnie is and how to get to her again…" Caroline reminded and paused to let him remember, "Anyway I brought a bunch of Bonnie's stuff for the spell." She stated gesturing to a box Damon hadn't even noticed was there.

"There's more to bring from the car, Lucy just texted and said she'll be here soon." Caroline said as she walked away.

Damon stared at the box pressed Ms. Cuddles back to his chest, and until he could hear Caroline was far enough away Damon opened the box.

There were a few pictures, books, mostly there were some of Bonnie's clothes. Damon sat and picked up a shirt then pressed it to his face Bonnie smelled sweet and soft. But also warm; comforting somehow, he felt something in him rise.

He was hopeful.

I'm gonna get you soon, Bonnie. Soon you'll be home.

Feeling actually quite pleased with herself for doing something other than wallowing with a bottle Bonnie decided that maybe waking up at her grave was some kind of sign she needed to sober up, get back on track, and stop moping.

She decided to finally eat something and made herself lunch. Just about to head over to the table to eat her eyes stopped her, frozen she stared at the note.

Lunch forgotten, she paced over to the folded piece of paper that she had forgot was even there.

Elena and I will be on the Gilbert's porch.

Come home Judgy. We'll be waiting ;)

Sincerely yours,

Damon Salvatore

Bonnie reread.

She traced his pretty handwriting, especially his name over and over.

She hadn't realized she had started crying until a tear fell upon the note. She quickly wiped it away, and then wiped her face as well.

"Come home, we'll be waiting…" Bonnie lowly mocked.

"Sincerely yours, Damon." She said seriously, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut to stop more tears then she broke and let out breathy sobs.

Right, you're about just as much mine as I am yours. And maybe that's why I'm still here where you left me…

Bonnie thought, while her eyes dried and she stared blankly into space until she had absentmindedly got and went to bed this time she slept in a guest room.

So I wanted Bonnie to kind of have a roller coaster with: this place was suppose to represent my death but then I came back so I'm plant this tree so it'll still represent that someday, cuz can't keep me dead. To: reminder you almost got home but instead were left all by yourself instead… She's kind of losing hope but still missing Damon hard and even kind of addressing how she's isn't his and he isn't hers and letting that break her a little bit… That is all.