Disclaimer: I don't own anything. You knew that.
The next day Valerie called Jeff and had a very mushy conversation over the phone.
"Hey honey, how you doin'? I can't wait for our date tonight," she said in a very sappy like voice. "oohhh, how about a quarter to five?"
"What do you mean a quarter to five," came Jeff's confused voice over the receiver.
Valerie sighed, "Just pick me up at 4:25 okay." With that they said their mushy good byes and hung up at the same time.
************************
Back at the Hardy residence, Matt was helping Jeff get ready for his date.
"I can't believe my baby brother Jeffy is going out on a date," said Matt proudly.
"Yep I'm going to have sex tonight!" Jeff said excitedly.
Amy raised her eyebrow in a very rock like way, "That's a little to much info, just a little advice Jeff, please don't shout that out during your date."
Jeff pulled out a small note pad from his tuxedo pants, "Don't shout out that we're having sex," he scribbled down.
"It's genius, don't know why I didn't think of it before. Hmm, I guess I'd better not shout out hormones or any other sexual items until we hit the sack huh Amy?" he said, crossing off the words booty, sex slut, and squish boobs on his notepad.
Amy and Matt exchanged nervous glances, both thinking about how disturbing Jeff's mind was and wondering wear the hell he got that note book from.
"Um so Jeff what does this Valerie look like?" Matt said changing the subject.
Jeff suddenly got a real dreamy look in his eyes and almost started drooling. "She looks just like an angel that came strait from hell."
Amy smacked herself on the forehead, "Moron," she muttered to herself. "We need a real description you dumbnut."
Matt seeing that Amy was fixing to rip Jeff's head off, looked down at his watch. "Oh my gosh Becky! (A/N: Inside Joke) You'd better get a move on Jeff or you'll be late for your date."
"Oh right, I'm outta here," Jeff said and skipped out the door.
"Oh and Jeff," Matt called.
"What?" Jeff said from out the door.
"For the love of god walk like a man!"
*****************************
Jeff pulled his blue mustang up Valerie's drive way and walked up to the doorway. He knocked on the door and to his misfortune Austin answered it.
Stone Cold grabbed Jeff by his shirt collar and threw him on the couch, and then shoved him into the corner. Austin seated himself on the couch facing Jeff and just stared at him for a while.
"So," Stone Cold said, breaking the silence. "What are your intentions, Hardy boy?"
"Well," Jeff began brightly. "I'm planning on taking her to the movies, dinner and hopefully I can get a big wet tongue kiss later on."
"What'd you just say paniwaist?" he growled, pulling out a knife and putting it up to Jeff's neck.
"If you think about making whoopee with my sister I'll open a can of whoop ass on you, and then I'm going to cut you up and throw your tiny pieces into the ocean so the sharks can eat you!" Austin had a look of murder in his eyes that made Jeff gulp real loudly.
Just then Valerie came from down the stairs and Stone Cold quickly hid the knife from his sisters eyes. "Hi Valerie," he said in sweet voice that fooled no one. "Me and Jeff here were just getting to know each other better, since you and him are an item and all-isn't that right Jeff." Stone Cold flashed the knife at Jeff and he nodded hurriedly.
Valerie didn't notice the knife but she definitely didn't by her brothers' sweet talk crap. "Well we'd better get going Jeffy poo." She walked towards the door and Jeff, grateful to get away from the homicidal Stone Cold followed her.
"See you two lovebirds later," Stone Cold said before they reached the door. Jeff looked back at Austin and noticed him making a gun out of his fingers and motioning it to his head, and then he pointed it at Jeff.
The next day Valerie called Jeff and had a very mushy conversation over the phone.
"Hey honey, how you doin'? I can't wait for our date tonight," she said in a very sappy like voice. "oohhh, how about a quarter to five?"
"What do you mean a quarter to five," came Jeff's confused voice over the receiver.
Valerie sighed, "Just pick me up at 4:25 okay." With that they said their mushy good byes and hung up at the same time.
************************
Back at the Hardy residence, Matt was helping Jeff get ready for his date.
"I can't believe my baby brother Jeffy is going out on a date," said Matt proudly.
"Yep I'm going to have sex tonight!" Jeff said excitedly.
Amy raised her eyebrow in a very rock like way, "That's a little to much info, just a little advice Jeff, please don't shout that out during your date."
Jeff pulled out a small note pad from his tuxedo pants, "Don't shout out that we're having sex," he scribbled down.
"It's genius, don't know why I didn't think of it before. Hmm, I guess I'd better not shout out hormones or any other sexual items until we hit the sack huh Amy?" he said, crossing off the words booty, sex slut, and squish boobs on his notepad.
Amy and Matt exchanged nervous glances, both thinking about how disturbing Jeff's mind was and wondering wear the hell he got that note book from.
"Um so Jeff what does this Valerie look like?" Matt said changing the subject.
Jeff suddenly got a real dreamy look in his eyes and almost started drooling. "She looks just like an angel that came strait from hell."
Amy smacked herself on the forehead, "Moron," she muttered to herself. "We need a real description you dumbnut."
Matt seeing that Amy was fixing to rip Jeff's head off, looked down at his watch. "Oh my gosh Becky! (A/N: Inside Joke) You'd better get a move on Jeff or you'll be late for your date."
"Oh right, I'm outta here," Jeff said and skipped out the door.
"Oh and Jeff," Matt called.
"What?" Jeff said from out the door.
"For the love of god walk like a man!"
*****************************
Jeff pulled his blue mustang up Valerie's drive way and walked up to the doorway. He knocked on the door and to his misfortune Austin answered it.
Stone Cold grabbed Jeff by his shirt collar and threw him on the couch, and then shoved him into the corner. Austin seated himself on the couch facing Jeff and just stared at him for a while.
"So," Stone Cold said, breaking the silence. "What are your intentions, Hardy boy?"
"Well," Jeff began brightly. "I'm planning on taking her to the movies, dinner and hopefully I can get a big wet tongue kiss later on."
"What'd you just say paniwaist?" he growled, pulling out a knife and putting it up to Jeff's neck.
"If you think about making whoopee with my sister I'll open a can of whoop ass on you, and then I'm going to cut you up and throw your tiny pieces into the ocean so the sharks can eat you!" Austin had a look of murder in his eyes that made Jeff gulp real loudly.
Just then Valerie came from down the stairs and Stone Cold quickly hid the knife from his sisters eyes. "Hi Valerie," he said in sweet voice that fooled no one. "Me and Jeff here were just getting to know each other better, since you and him are an item and all-isn't that right Jeff." Stone Cold flashed the knife at Jeff and he nodded hurriedly.
Valerie didn't notice the knife but she definitely didn't by her brothers' sweet talk crap. "Well we'd better get going Jeffy poo." She walked towards the door and Jeff, grateful to get away from the homicidal Stone Cold followed her.
"See you two lovebirds later," Stone Cold said before they reached the door. Jeff looked back at Austin and noticed him making a gun out of his fingers and motioning it to his head, and then he pointed it at Jeff.