Ghosts and Shadows
Story: Andra Marie Mueller
Authors: Andra and Christina

No sooner had they stepped into the Mess Hall than their ever-exuberant Talaxian Morale Officer ambushed the command team.

"Captain, Commander," he greeted. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"Good evening, Mister Neelix," Janeway said.

"Are you two here for dinner?" Neelix asked.

"What's on the menu?" Chakotay countered.

"Actually I'm trying a new dish tonight," Neelix revealed. "It's Terrelian root pasta in a butter cream sauce spiced with just a touch of cayenne pepper."

Janeway cast a discreet glance at Chakotay and silently mouthed, "Root pasta?"

The First Officer merely shrugged in response and addressed Neelix. "I'll try some, " he said. "Any chance of getting some of your Talaxian flatbread on the side?"

"Consider it done," Neelix declared. "Captain, how about you?"

Ignoring Chakotay's look of feigned innocence, Janeway flashed Neelix a small smile. "I had a late lunch, Neelix, so I'm not really hungry. But thank you anyway."

"Anytime, Captain. You two settle yourselves at one of the tables and I'll bring the commander's dinner over in a few minutes."

The Talaxian retreated back to his kitchen and Janeway and Chakotay made their way to a table by the window. Once they were seated, the captain gave her first officer a knowing look.

"You only agreed to try Neelix's latest creation because you thought I would as well just to save face," she said.

"You're too suspicious, Kathryn," Chakotay chided. "I agreed to try it because I'm hungry."

Her expression made it clear she did not believe him, but she did not pursue it and instead asked, "Was that Tom I saw walking away from you when you got on the turbolift?"

Chakotay nodded. "He's throwing a surprise baby shower for B'Elanna and he asked me to make sure she gets there."

"If nothing else, it will get her out of Engineering for a little while. She's still toying with the transwarp coil."

"It's becoming an obsession."

Janeway nodded. "She's trying to integrate the Borg and Zornon technology into our regular warp drive so we can use the transwarp coil to get home," she revealed.

"Well if anybody can do it, B'Elanna can, but I'm sure she could use some help. Maybe I should assign Icheb to a couple of shifts in Engineering."

Janeway smiled. "Great minds really do think alike," she replied. "I already told B'Elanna that I would talk to you about doing just that."

Neelix approached them then, and placed a plate of steaming pasta in front of Chakotay, along with a small basket of thin, cracker-like bread. "Here you are, Commander. Enjoy."

"Thanks, Neelix."

The Talaxian retreated to the kitchen as Chakotay took an experimental bite of his pasta.

"Is it edible?" Janeway asked.

He nodded. "It tastes better than it sounds."

"Thank goodness for small favors."

"By the way, our discussion about B'Elanna broke your 'no talk about ship's business allowed' rule."

"Sorry; force of habit."

"Speaking of habits, I'm surprised you don't have your hands wrapped around a mug of hot coffee," he remarked. "I thought it would take a surgical procedure by the Doctor to remove your mug from your hand."

Janeway shot her First Officer an admonishing glance. "For your information, Commander, I am making a valiant attempt to decrease my coffee consumption."

"This from a woman who claims caffeine helped her beat the Borg? I'm shocked."

"Shut up and eat your pasta, Chakotay."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Act 2

"Try it now."

"All right."

Running his hand along the panel in front of him, Icheb input the integration codes into the computer. The engines hummed to life and the recalibrated Zornon shield started to vibrate with the onset of the tachyon burst.

"It's working!" Icheb exclaimed excitedly.

"Let's give it a minute or two," B'Elanna countered.

Never let it be said that the CE did not know her ship. The upgraded engines had been running for less than a minute when the computer suddenly began to emit a loud, piercing alarm. Checking her panel, B'Elanna discovered that the pressure in the magnetic core was once again rising above acceptable limits, and released a resigned sigh.

"Computer, freeze program."

The computer chirped in acknowledgement and the room suddenly went silent, the simulation of Engineering frozen in place.

"I was certain it would work," Icheb said. "The realignment to the shields and the transwarp coil should have maintained the output fluctuations at a constant level."

"It's only our first test run, Cadet," B'Elanna reminded him. "I'm not ready to give up yet."

Icheb frowned and glanced at his panel. "Seven would have been able to correct it on the first try."

The mention of his former mentor earned him a sideways glance from his current one. "We haven't really had a chance to talk in a while," B'Elanna said. "I imagine it's been hard for you since Seven left."

Icheb shrugged. "It has been a difficult transition," he allowed. "But Captain Janeway and the rest of the crew have been very supportive."

"It's okay to miss her."

"I don't know if I miss Seven herself so much as what she represented. She was the only member of this crew to understand how it felt to be a fully assimilated member of the Collective and the difficulties inherent in making the transition back to individuality. She was also the closest thing to a sister I had, as well as a teacher and a friend."

B'Elanna smiled. "One of the hardest lessons in life is learning how to let go of someone you care about when they are no longer an immediate part of your life," she replied. "It's like children who grow up and begin their own lives. They have to cope with not having their parents to fall back on, and the parents have to learn how to live their own lives again."

"You sound as though you speak from experience."

"I suppose I do in a way," she allowed. "When I left home to attend Starfleet Academy, I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to make it without having my mother there to encourage me. Or make me mad enough to succeed just to spite her, for that matter. But even though I never graduated from the Academy, my time there taught me that I was strong enough to survive on my own."

"I wasn't aware that your time at Starfleet Academy was at all memorable for you," the young man remarked. "You always speak of it with such rancor."

She chuckled at that. "To paraphrase from a wise young friend of mine, I don't know if it was the Academy itself I resented so much as what it represented," she said. "I've never been good with authority figures, and all of the rules and regulations that come with wearing the Starfleet uniform always seemed to rub me the wrong way."

"Yet you wear the uniform," Icheb pointed out.

B'Elanna shrugged. "Seven years ago I put it on again because I had no choice, but now that I'm a little older, and hopefully a little wiser, somehow it doesn't seem as uncomfortable as it did when I was a cadet."

He paused. "If this works and we get Voyager home, perhaps you should consider returning to the Academy and teaching others what you have learned."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Shall we take a break and head to the Mess Hall for some lunch?"

"Thank you for the invitation, Lieutenant, but I would prefer to stay here and continue my work on the engine calibrations."

B'Elanna scoffed. "I don't think so. Chakotay and the captain will have my head if you collapse from malnutrition. The engines will still be here when we get back. We're going to lunch."

Without waiting for any further protest, B'Elanna ended the simulation and ushered Icheb out of the holodeck.