Disclaimer: Much to my annoyance I still don't own Spooks
Summary: See Chapter #1
Author's notes: 1. "" Dialouge, '' thoughts
2. Italics are used for dream sequences and bold is used for a flashback
3. C.O.S. Change of Scenery
4. 88888: Change of character
Spoiler Alert: Seasons 4, and 5
The Mask: Chapter #2
Adam grimly smiled to himself as he felt his hand pound the alarm clock for at least the fifth time that morning. He didn't want to get up and acknowledge the world outside his bedroom. He just wanted a few blissful hours of oblivion without the dreams.
10 minutes later he heard not only the newsreader on the radio but his mobile ringing. The thought of ignoring the mobile was incredibly tempting- but he knew what price he'd pay for that; eventually there'd people knocking at the door, and then explanations would have to be given. And he wanted to deal with that even less than getting out of bed.
What time was it anyway? He thought to himself, steeling to glance at the offending appliance. The digits read 7:45 am. He cursed: Wes needed to be taken to school, the bathroom door repaired for the nanny. He quickly showered and dressed, grabbing his brief case on the way out of his bedroom.
He forced himself to slow down on the stairs and take a few deep breaths. He would have to face her after his weak moment last night. He should've been quieter; he should never have left his bedroom. But he just couldn't stay there any longer. He would have lain there staring up at the ceiling and thinking of her, and what should have happened. He should have been able to save her. It should be her in the kitchen instead.
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Jennie looked up at the sound of footsteps on the stairs locking gazes with Adam. His flickered for a moment, and she sensed he was unsure. Then the formal mask snapped back into place.
"I'm sorry I didn't get time to buy that lock yesterday. But I will." He assured her, moving towards a travel mug sitting on the breakfast bar. He poured coffee into it, and ruffled Wes' hair.
"All set for school?" He asked him. Wes nodded grinning. He was just happy to be with his dad
"We have to get going." He felt the mobile vibrate and took the call. Jennie watched his expressions: first angry, then frustrated, then resigned. Whatever happened couldn't have been good. He clicked the phone off and walked back into the kitchen: with a worried look on his face:
"I have to be at work, would you mind taking him to school?" She briefly looked at him concerned.
"No, go. We'll be fine." She smiled reassuringly at him. He picked up his briefcase and placing a brief kiss on the top of Wes' head on the way out.
Jennie sipped her coffee and smiled at Wes. The smile disappeared off his face, and he sighed.
"We'll have fun together- we always do." She reassured the boy. She put her coffee cup back on the breakfast bar:
"Get your schoolbag and I'll drop you off. You like school remember?"
Wes mutely nodded in agreement and picked up his schoolbag on the way out the door. Jennie tried again to reconcile the two sides of Adam Carter. He loved his son and was a brilliant father; Wes was a testament to that. He glowed under any bit of his father's attention.
They walked in silence to Wes' school. Seeing he was sad, the teacher glanced puzzlingly at Jennie who shrugged her shoulders:
"His dad had to leave for work early." Wes turned to her with hopeful eyes:
"Will daddy pick me up after school?"
"I don't know honey, he has been working awfully late hours lately." She answered smiling encouragingly:
"Have a good day Wes."
She waved to him, and he waved back. On the way home she made a mental note to ask Adam if he would able to pick Wes up.
Adam stared out the passenger side window. He kept thinking of Wes, and Jennie. It was unfair of him to bring Jennie into it in the first place- just another person to be careful of, another person to lie to. He knew he had to do it. Logically, worrying about Wes would lead to distractions. Adam knew full well that distractions could cost him his life.
He again thought of Fiona. This never happened when she was alive. Once they had Wes they always arranged so that one of them was always around spending time with him.
"What did we bring him into?" Fiona asked. From the doorway he saw her stretched out on their bed watching television. Wes was stretched out beside her asleep as she idly stroked her hair. He had no answer for that, merely shrugging his shoulders.
He still had no idea how to answer that question. The only thing he knew was that he loved Wes, and that as long as he had him- he had a piece of Fiona with him too.
"Keep him safe. Keep Wes safe." He looked at her through tears, knowing what was about to happen. He'd promised. But the question still came back to him: how?
…"All I need you to do is wait out here in case he runs." Zaff explained. Adam nodded his response and they got out of the car. Zaff entered the warehouse, with Adam stationing himself outside.
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
"I told you, I can't tell you anything else, now leave me alone." Omar told Zaf, his voice full of fear
"Please just tell us where your brother and his friends are, then I'll leave alone." Zaf answered, his voice calm.
"The only one I know is Sharif, and he's living on a boat." Omar's voice was desperate. Omar suddenly pushed past Zaf to the back door of the warehouse and started running. Zaf wondered why he would run then noticed Adam's shadow extending past the doorway.
"We need backup at the warehouse- he's a runner." Zaf called to the team. Adam was off and running before Zaf could say a word to him, leaving him no choice but to follow. He stopped as he lost sight of Adam.
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Adam was lost in a world of his own; the only single thing grounding him was the feeling of his feet pounding the pavement as he chased his quarry. He ran twisting and turning through London streets paying no attention to where he was going. He heard footsteps behind him and stopped nervously glancing around for a gunman. As he turned around, a punch caught him unaware in the face.
He was ready and blocked the next one, catching the man's arm and twisting it around behind him. He felt a jerk as his quarry tried to retrieve his captive arm.
"If I were you, I wouldn't try anything. I'll be forced to squeeze and that will break your arm." Adam threatened.
"Adam," he looked away from the man he held surprised to see Zaf. The man took advantage of the distraction and ran. Adam took off after him not giving Zaf another thought.
"ADAM!" Zaf shouted after his friend, hoping to get him to stop. Adam was too far away to hear, too lost in his thoughts; that it was his mistake that allowed the man to get away, and he had to catch him.
Zaf stood there until Adam disappeared from sight.
"We've lost Alpha One. Repeat: We've lost Adam." He radioed in shaking his head. He didn't know what got into his friend.
His answer came hours later at Thames house when Adam arrived for debriefing.
"Adam, are you okay?" Jo asked him, genuinely concerned. He shrugged his shoulders:
"I'm fine. Why?" Zaf and Harry entered the conference room signaling the start, before Jo had a chance to say anymore.
"Anybody want to tell me what happened out there?" Harry asked the assembled group.
"Adam and I met my contact. He stood guard outside while I spoke with the man. My contact ran. Adam took off after him." Zaf began explained. Harry nodded his acknowledgement and spoke:
"He wasn't the main priority Adam. The main priority was to get information he had on his brother." The implication of blame was unspoken.
"I thought one less of them would be a good thing." Adam muttered. Jo raised an eyebrow in response. The meeting went on as usual and Harry asked Adam accompany him back to his office. Neither man spoke until the door closed behind them. Harry took his time settling himself in the leather chair behind his desk while Adam sat down on the sofa.
"How are you Adam?" Harry asked, letting his concern show for his officer.
"I'm fine." Adam responded his jaw set as if daring Harry to say otherwise. Harry let the conversation fade to silence and carefully observed his officer noting the look of relief flood his features.
"How are things at home?" Harry asked refusing to give up. Adam's posture changed to one of defeat and he looked down at his shoes and the carpet and back up at Harry:
"Fine. I've hired a nanny to help me with Wes and have started spending more time with him." He failed to add that he didn't know if he could do his job anymore or even wanted it.
Harry had become hypersensitive to officers in distress after Tom left, and recognized the signs even though Adam was careful not to put any out. He came out from behind his desk and sat beside Adam putting his arm around him:
"I want you to take a few days off. Spend some time with Wes, and maybe see a doctor."
"You need me here," came his feeble response. Life outside Thames house meant facing reality without Fiona. It meant actually having time to think about events surrounding her death, and what to do next.
"Don't force me to make it an order." Harry responded. Adam consented with a slight nod and left the office.
When he arrived at his flat he heard water running and humming from the kitchen. He allowed himself to imagine it were Fiona, and pictured himself sneaking up behind her and slipping his arms around her. He set his keys down on the side table by the door and continued into the flat, and the humming stopped.
"I was done early and the boss gave me the rest of the day off." He told her with a sheepish smile.
"Oh, you can pick up Wes from school then." Jennie replied. His smile was more genuine thinking of Wes causing Jennie to smile as well.
"What happened- defend a lady's honour?" she asked wryly indicating his two black eyes.
"No." He smiled as he reached into the freezer for an ice pack.
"Get hit by a couple of angry doors?" She asked a half-smile on her face.
"Something like that." He replied his expression sobering. She instantly knew to stop asking questions, she wouldn't get any answers. He sunk into the sofa cushions, closed his eyes placing his icepack on his face. She went back to cleaning up the kitchen and soon heard soft snores.
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
She looked up at the clock on her bedroom wall noticing the time nearing 3:30. She silently crept downstairs, noticing Adam asleep on the couch where she left him. She reached for the afghan hanging on the back of the chair and spread it over him. Just as she let go he stirred, one hand grasping tightly to her wrist. He opened one eye:
"Don't sneak up on me like that again." He menacingly told her. He opened his other eye and met her shocked gaze.
"I-I'm sorry Jennie." He immediately apologized for his threat and let the wrist go. She broke eye contact and stood awkwardly looking down at the floor absently rubbing her wrist:
"It's okay. You're right. I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that." He moved to sit upright on the sofa, and she sat down beside him, not knowing what else to do.
She looked everywhere in the room accept at him. She didn't know what to make of the sudden brutality of what happened. It was another sign there was something wrong. She heard his mouth open and close as if to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of his mobile. He rose from the couch:
"Don't go anywhere please. I need to talk to you." He sounded defeated as he walked away and moved toward an end of the room where she couldn't hear him.
"I'll be there in 20 minutes." He ended the call and stayed standing to face her, his expression determined.
"I'm not a computer programmer. I'm an MI-5 operative. I was hurt chasing a suspect this morning."
He watched as her expression went from confusion to anger and finally settled on hurt.
"Why are you telling me this?" She asked.
"You need to know. My work is dangerous and I need you to know the truth." He explained.
She read the hidden meaning in his statement.
"Does Wes know?" She asked. He looked as if she hit him. She took that as a no.
"He's too young. I want him to be a child as long as possible Jennie. He just lost his mother."
"Was she an agent too?" She asked.
"Yes." Adam told her. He took a deep breath wanting to delay further talking about Fiona.
"I need to go. Will you be here when I get back?" She silently nodded. He grabbed his keys from the counter and left. She stood for a moment gathering herself and followed. She had to pick Wes up from school.
If you want more, review.
-AB