**** This chapter contains the character of Chad Reynolds, Steve's friend and military brother who was introduced in my previous story - 'YOUR FAMILY IS MY FAMILY' (which is a sequel to 'BROTHER MATT') - you certainly don't have to read those stories first, but if you'd like to….I think they're pretty good and they both contain a lot of good old whump and angst ****
Steve was in a daze all day long. Memories of his childhood overwhelmed him with love and warmth only to be crushed by the remembrance of the worst day of his life…..the day his Mother died. He thought of all the lonely days of torment he had suffered after his Dad had sent him away. And though he had never doubted the love of either of his parents, what he had just read cut through his heart. Since Doris had re-appeared in his life a year ago he had struggled with the decision she had made in abandoning her husband and her children, but he had never questioned the actions of his Father.
Tears streamed down his cheeks and his chest and throat hurt as he sobbed uncontrollably.
His mind took him back to the friends, his brothers whose love carried him through those painful early years.
Freddy Hart and Chad Reynolds…
Chad was his roommate in Military School. Chad's family became his surrogate family and the men were in every way, brothers. They had gone through their teen years together, through boot camp together and through hell and back on the battlefield. Six years ago he had held Chad in his arms in a mountainous region of Germany as he drew his last breath after a bullet had ripped through his lung. Chad's death and the subsequent suicide of his wife and unborn daughter had almost destroyed Steve. It did lead to the break-up of his engagement to Emily Tate, who was the sister of Christina…..Chad's wife.
He and Chad had met Freddy in boot camp and he had quickly become incredibly close to both of them…..the two had become three and it was Freddy who had helped him survive the loss of Chad, Christina and Emily.
Two short years later his decision to take Freddy with him into North Korea to capture Anton Hess had led to Freddy's death as well. Oh God, why did everyone he loved die?
He sat in quiet reflection all day and by early evening he was quite drunk. He had been drinking all day and had eaten nothing. Taking out his cell phone he called Danny, but it rolled straight to voice mail. After leaving a message he set his phone on the table between the two wooden deck chairs and taking a beer in each hand, he began to walk barefoot, aimlessly down the beach.
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Danny was having a quiet day at home. He stepped from the shower and threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt as he excitedly awaited the start of Game One of the American League Championship Series between his beloved New York Yankees and the Detroit Tigers. After fixing himself a sandwich and grabbing a beer he plopped down on his couch and turned on the television. As he cracked open his beer and took a long drink he noticed a message on his cellphone.
Taking another drink, he brought the phone to his ear.
'Hey Danno…sorry I missed you…..can you give me a call…..oh, never mind brother, I'm sorry to bother you"
Hanging up the phone, Danny knew something was wrong. He knew Steve had planned on going through his Dad's things today and it had certainly been tough on him as he was obviously drunk. After trying to reach him without success Danny shut off the TV and grabbing his car keys, he left the house.
He tried Steve twice more on his the drive over and not reaching him, his gut twisted in nervous anticipation.
Pulling into the driveway next to Steve's Silverado he smiled as he walked towards the front door hearing Jersey native Bruce Springstein's music blaring from inside the house.
Entering, he hollered out for his partner as he moved towards Steve's office.
As he entered the room his eyes immediately fell on the arsenal of weapons laid out on the SEAL's desk.
He also noticed the box of books on the ground and after turning the music off, he moved into the living room, again hollering out to his partner but getting no reply.
He saw the coffee cup, the black leather-bound book and the letter sitting on the coffee table.
Moving towards the table he called out, "Hey Superman! Where are you?"
He picked up and read the letter, saying softly "Oh fuck….."
Suddenly his blood ran cold as he remembered the guns in the office. Dropping the letter he raced up the stairs, running from room to room, grateful to not find his partner. Hurrying back downstairs and through the kitchen, he ran to the backyard moving swiftly down to the water's edge. Steve was not there but his cellphone was, along with a dozen empty beer bottles strewn in the sand around the empty chair.
Seeing his partner's footprints in the sand he began to follow them.
We walked about a mile before he spotted Steve sitting on sand in the distance. His knees were pulled up to his chest with his arms clasped around his legs and his head was bowed.
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Danny approached him slowly and as he neared Steve sensed his presence.
Without lifting his head he spoke softly, his speech slurred, "Danno…I'm sorry to bother you….. you didn't have to come"
"Of course I had to come…hey, I read the letter. How are you doing?"
Without lifting his head, his voice choked with emotion he said softly, "I don't know partner"
Danny sat down onto the soft sand close to his friend, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yeah…."
The men both sat silently for several minutes before Steve lifted his head. Reaching to his side he grabbed a beer and turning to his partner, he handed it to him.
Danny took it saying, "You sure you don't want it?"
Steve smirked as he lifted his other hand, "I've got one"
Knowing Steve's need to talk but sensing his inability to begin, Danny said softly "So you're Dad knew about your Mom's past?"
Steve sighed, "Yes…he apparently did"
"That doesn't change anything Steve"
Steve looked at him and Danny had never seen this depth of pain in his eyes before, "It changes everything Danny"
"No, no my friend it doesn't. So your Dad knew of Doris' life in the CIA and he suspected the bombing had something to do with it. What should he have done differently Steve?"
"He should have told me Danny!"
"No, you are very wrong about that Steven and I know that, because I too am a Father. You were a sixteen year old kid and your Dad did what he felt he had to do to protect you and Mary because he loved you. By the time he figured out Doris was alive, Wo-Fat was on to him and it was too late. You were half way around the world planning the take down of Hess. There was nothing you could have done for him babe…..nothing"
Steve's voice was shaking as he said softly, "I finally know how they did this Danny"
"What are you talking about?"
"How did Wo-Fat know that I had Anton Hess in custody?"
"Steve, you didn't take out the whole village partner, and Freddy….they had Freddy. They knew you were Americans"
Steve raised his hand, "I know that, and I know that the rebel leader contacted Wo-Fat but I've always wondered how they could have gotten to my Dad so fast"
"What are you saying Steve?"
"Why did Doris not tell Dad that she had to go into hiding? Why did she let him think she was dead for twenty years Danny?
"I don't know Steve? Can't it be the way she's telling you? That she had to disappear to keep you all safe?"
"Why are you protecting her?"
"I'm NOT protecting her. I'm on your side here buddy, I just want to help you think clearly"
Steve placed his head back onto his knees as he cupped his hands behind his head, "Shit Danno, I don't know, I don't know…..All I know is that Doris and Joe betrayed my Dad and they betrayed me. I'm so fucking sick of being lied to D'…I can't do this anymore….everyone I love either dies or betrays me…I have to know everything Danny, I have to know"
Danny's heart was breaking for his partner. He moved onto his knees and placing a strong hand on his partner's shoulder, he said softly, "I'm here Steve and I'm not going anywhere. I swear to you buddy, I'll never betray you"
Tears were falling from both men's eyes as Steve began to sob and Danny pulled him to his chest.
Steve choked out the words, "I'm sorry….I'm so sorry" as Danny held him.
"It's going to be okay Steve. We'll get the answers partner. No matter what they are, we'll get all the answers"
They sat without speaking for quite a while and as the sun was setting Danny said, "Let's head back to the house and talk some more okay?"
Steve nodded and Danny helped him to his feet.
As they walked slowly back down the beach Steve looked out over the Ocean and said, "This was my Dad's favorite part of the day. We would sit by the water and watch the sun set and talk about how our days went. He was a great man Danno…..God I miss him"
"I know you do babe"
******* Next up, the partner's talk continues and Steve opens up about his Mother *******