Scars in the Rain

(Scar Tissue)

I had stayed in Ron's arms forever it seemed. I don't even know how he got me up to my dorm, but we got there somehow. He closed the curtains around my bed and I heard him cast charms. I suppose they were charms meant to keep sound from coming or going. I hope so because I was had started crying again. I was in a ball on the bed, sobbing my little heart out. A baby crying…that's all I was. A baby left to rot in a ditch…only real babies are clean, void of any taint whatsoever, so much for me being that way, prim and proper Hermione Granger…not even a virgin anymore.

Whore that I am!

I don't know what happened over the next few hours exactly. It was all a blur, but I was now in my pajamas curled up in Ron's lap once more. How long had he stayed with me? How long had he been with me? He kept saying sweet nothings…I'm not even sure what he said. I heard every other statement. 'It's alright. I'm here. Nothing can go wrong.' Boy was he mistaken. Nothing was all right and everything already had gone wrong.

I had been about to leave for Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Harry and Ron. "You go ahead, I'll catch up." I said to them and smiled to show it was all right. Those boys worry too much, Ron worse then Harry. I know he may seem shallow and void of all emotions sometimes, but he is actually quite deep. He just doesn't want anyone to know it. I blew him a kiss and giggled a little at the flush that came to his cheeks. Boys can be so cute sometimes, though Ron more then most. I sighed and picked up my book bag. Lots of good going class would do if I didn't have my book. I went up to my dorm and couldn't find it. Where had the bloody thing gone? Oh, I'd forgotten that Ginny Weasley had borrowed it. I hope she took care of it. I still don't know why she needed a seventh year book, but I couldn't get her to tell me. I went down to the common room and found out from a few sixth years that she was on the grounds so I went out the portrait hole, forgetting my bag. If people knew how utterly unclever I can be at times, they wouldn't think much of me. See, I just used 'unclever' like it was a real word. Anyway, I walked out to the grounds and saw Ginny sitting just out a ways under a tree. "Gin, I need my book back." I said to her in more then a small rush. I was late for class already. She looked up from her book, discreetly moving it so the title was hidden, but not before I saw the word Karma on it and part so another word beginning in an S, half of Karma-Sutra, perhaps? If so, I don't want to know.

"Oh, sure, sorry." She said to me with a friendly smile and began to dig through her bag. I folded my arms impatiently and waited, I was in trouble and I knew it. Not that being in trouble mattered much to me anymore, but this was education! "Here…thanks.' Ginny said as she gave it to me.

"No problem." I said, not even bothering to ask why she needed it. She looked at me like she wanted me to go away and I looked at the book and smirked, shook my head, and walked away. I was back to the doors of the school when I heard a voice I utterly hated.

God, of all the people.

"Going somewhere, mudblood?" Malfoy was walking out of the castle with his goons Crabb and Goyle. I gave them both a dirty look and kept on my way…only this time Malfoy cut me off from entering the castle.

"I'm late for class, Malfoy." I said and tried to push by him, but again he stopped me. He placed his hands on my hips to hold me back, I quickly pulled away, not wanting him to touch me and I sent a sharp slap across his face to send my point home. "Don't ever touch me again! Now move!" I ordered. Draco was glaring now, his smirk gone. He snaked hand up to his cheek and felt the red place where I had hit him.

"You know, this reminds me of another time you bit me, mudblood, gave me a bloody nose, if I remember correctly. What was it I said?" He asked and slowly started to walk toward me. I should have just given in and let him have his say and gotten passed him that way, but I didn't. I took slow steps backward to get away from him. I had never seen him act this way before and it scared me. "I said I would get you, remember that?" he asked me.

"Malfoy, get out of my way." He said and withdrew my wand. The three of them chuckled and I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Malfoy…" I said in a warning tone, but they kept slowly walking towards me. I shot a silent spell at Draco, but he ducked. As this happened Crabb whipped his wand out, sent Expelliarmus at me and my wand went flying behind them, and landed with small taps on the stone steps of the castle. Now They were between me and my wand! Ginny…she would see this. They wouldn't dare do anything in front of witnesses. I turned to look where she had been, but saw she was gone now. I don't know where she had gone, but I was alone. They were obviously playing hooky, but all other classes were in.

"Now, mudblood, after that further display of you displeasure for me, I think I should teach you a lesson. Show you why you're the only girl to dare to ever hit me." Draco taunted. Maybe they weren't planning on anything horrible now, but that would soon change. In a bid of desperation, I launched my Defense book at the blond boy. It smacked his face and sent him stumbling back. I saw blood clearly running down his face from his nose and I darted. I took about two steps before I heard Crabb mutter a stunning charm and I was sent to he ground. It felt like someone had kicked me in the back. No wander Snape had been angry when the Ron, Harry and myself had all hit him with stunning charms, odd, the things that go through your head in moments like this. I was rolled over roughly and saw a bloody Draco glaring down at me. All I could manage was a moan, but he managed a kick to my side. I let out a yelp and tried to role away, but felt Crabb pick me up. I felt numb and dizzy. I couldn't fight even though I wanted to. Who knew where they were taking me and why…I soon found out.

When the attack was over, I just laid there. I hurt all over, especially between my legs. The world kept fading in and out. I was vaguely aware of blood running down my face possibly from my nose. I slowly sat up and brought my legs to me. I was cold even though it was warm out. Muscles ached and…well everything ached. Slowly I became aware that I was crying, sobbing like I never had before.

Draco on top of me.

My life was over. How could I have been so stupid! I always told Ron or Harry to let things go, that they didn't matter, that they weren't worth getting in trouble over…now look at me. All I had to do was let them call me a name or two and I would have been on my way. This was all my fault; I knew it was all my fault. Nobody could be blamed for this but me….

"My wand and book are out the steps." I said in a small voice to Ron. It was just barely above a whisper, like a baby.

Whore that I am.

Ron held me. I had been in the dorm now for hours and hours. Ginny had already knocked wandering if everything was okay. Ron had told her to go away. I hadn't even had the strength to scold him for being rude. He kissed my cheek. "I'll go get them. Stay here."

"Ron?" I asked just as he reached the door. "Don't tell anyone." He acted as if he was about to protest, but didn't. He nodded and started to leave, but stopped.

"I love you.' He said softly to me and left finally. Maybe he thought it would help, but hearing someone you love say they love you for the first time right after you'd been raped was not the best timing. I'd wanted that moment to come in the astronomy tower this weekend where we were planning to spend some time together. I shut my eyes and felt more warm tears flow. I rolled over on my side and curled as tightly into a ball as I could. I hadn't told Ron what had happened. He guessed rape due to the state of my discarded under garments and me. I couldn't tell him what had happened. He would be so angry at me for allowing myself to be put in that position. He wouldn't want me. Who would want a dirty rag that had been used and thrown away? I know I wouldn't pick a rag out of the garbage to use it…why would Ron or any other man for that matter?

I slowly fell asleep as I waited for Ron to return. I think it was from desperation more then being exhausted. I was desperate for my kind to turn off. Just a few moments, any number of moments, where I didn't have to think anymore…It didn't work. They were in my dreams too. It was all there waiting for me in my dreams… My own screams woke me up. They always would from now on.

(Chapter two as promised. Hope I got all the typos. Review:) )